'I feel like we got the best of the b...

'I feel like we got the best of the best'

There are 29 comments on the The Indianapolis Star story from May 13, 2007, titled 'I feel like we got the best of the best'. In it, The Indianapolis Star reports that:

When Lee Ann Costelow looks at her 2-year-old son, Drew, she doesn't think about the 18 years she spent struggling to have a baby.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at The Indianapolis Star.

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Cat Boy

United States

#2 May 13, 2007
Selfish DNA

Union, KY

#3 May 13, 2007
I believe it was Richard Dawkins who said, in the "Selfish DNA Theory," that the insatiable desire to reproduce ones children, instead of altruistically caring for others' orphans, is because living things are slaves to their DNA. For those who are lucky enough to have the funds, the desires of their own "selfish DNA" can be met. For those of us who will never have those kind of funds - these feel good stories, especially on Mother's day are particularly painful.
word cop

Fort Thomas, KY

#4 May 13, 2007
Cat Boy wrote:
http://www.census.gov/main/www /popclock.html
China thought they had the answer to this by dictating population control. Now there are stopgaps to care for the aging population!
word cop

Fort Thomas, KY

#5 May 13, 2007
Selfish DNA wrote:
I believe it was Richard Dawkins who said, in the "Selfish DNA Theory," that the insatiable desire to reproduce ones children, instead of altruistically caring for others' orphans, is because living things are slaves to their DNA. For those who are lucky enough to have the funds, the desires of their own "selfish DNA" can be met. For those of us who will never have those kind of funds - these feel good stories, especially on Mother's day are particularly painful.
I'm going to cut you a lot of slack this morning. I hope your dreams one day come true :-)!
Why go through all of it

Columbus, IN

#6 May 13, 2007
I just don't understand why people would spend so much money to have their "own" children. I am adopted and I am no less my parents child than if I was their biological child. I thank my parents everyday for giving me the life they did.
Chris

Louisville, KY

#7 May 13, 2007
Meanwhile, thousands of children languish in foster homes.
WOW

Indianapolis, IN

#8 May 13, 2007
So why isn't it legal for gay's to adopt? Especially if heterosexuals are too busy doing everything they humanly can to conceive despite the fact that the naturally can't. And don't these people think that maybe they can't conceive for a reason?
Very Touching

Indianapolis, IN

#9 May 13, 2007
These stories are very touching, and I am happy for all involved. Net year though, isntead of running a story about mothers, perhaps the star can do a story about Motherless chidlren in our society. I do know one of the reasons people have stopped doing Foster care and adoption with in the United States is that We give parents to many oppurtunites. The mother who let her child run on 465 will probably get her children back.
I understand that today is about thanking mother's and I am not trying to deter from that postivie message, but we need the paper to do an article about all of the motherless children
rkm

Union, KY

#10 May 13, 2007
Every test tube baby represents a few seconds delay before the social security benefits run out!

Since: Apr 07

Lebanon, IN

#11 May 13, 2007
Some people want their own kids. I don't blame them one bit. People need to ask why they go to Russia and China to adopt. Yes, there are plenty of kids here. Why not take care of American kids available. If you have the money to have help in having kids more power to you. I wouldn't knock it if you don't
WOW

Indianapolis, IN

#12 May 13, 2007
Mr Tall wrote:
Some people want their own kids. I don't blame them one bit. People need to ask why they go to Russia and China to adopt. Yes, there are plenty of kids here. Why not take care of American kids available. If you have the money to have help in having kids more power to you. I wouldn't knock it if you don't
I disagree. THEIR KIDS... it doesn't matter where in the world they came from. Not to mention the fact that if you compared the kids up for adoption in the US versus those in, say, Africa- the difference in lifestyles/opportunities so great that parents adopting overseas should not be questioned
good one looser

Burlington, KY

#13 May 13, 2007
My aunt fostered, was told she could adopt, and then had the 3 year old she had for a year taken away from her after a court proceeding, THAT DAY. Her story is not isolated. Why not go overseas to adopt where chances are the kid won't get taken away? And these stories of these people trying so hard to have babies only makes me love my easily concieved (in wedlock you judgers out there can rest easy) baby a little more...and I know these babies will be so loved by mommies and daddies who made sacrifices to have them. Good luck to all of you going through this! A great book to read about this process is "Waiting for Daisy". So cute and so harrowing...and autobiography about the author's journey through fertility treatments!
Just a thought

United States

#14 May 13, 2007
["WOW"]"So why isn't it legal for gay's to adopt?"

As a lesbian who has been trying to conceive via invitro for quite some time, I can tell you that I would certainly adopt one of the many children in need of loving care if it weren't so difficult for us to do so.
Just a thought

United States

#15 May 13, 2007
I ask any of you who sit in judgment of people who use assisted reproductive technology in an attempt to carry and raise a child --do you have children who were born to you biologically? If so, be grateful you were able to conceive and know that you never know what you might consider given different circumstances. I've crossed my drawn line a number of times and for a number of reasons--none of which have anything to do with carrying a child that has my DNA.

Also keep in mind that using ART may not be a biology/DNA decision--there are such things as embryo adoption, sperm and egg donation therefore the child a couple or individual is attempting to conceive may not be biologically related to the individual at all. There are a number of reasons to consider ART and only those going through the process know what those reasons are for themselves.
yoyo

Indianapolis, IN

#16 May 13, 2007
WOW wrote:
So why isn't it legal for gay's to adopt? Especially if heterosexuals are too busy doing everything they humanly can to conceive despite the fact that the naturally can't. And don't these people think that maybe they can't conceive for a reason?
Hmm, something could be said about this...http://www.foxnews.com/ story/0,2933,271116,00.html
yoyo

Indianapolis, IN

#17 May 13, 2007
yoyo

Indianapolis, IN

#18 May 13, 2007
umm, because of stories like this one...
HARRISBURG, Pennsylvania A sperm donor who helped a lesbian couple conceive two children is liable for child support under a state appellate court ruling that a legal expert believes might be the first of its kind in the U.S.

A Superior Court panel last week ordered a Dauphin County judge to establish how much Carl L. Frampton Jr. would have to pay to the birth mother of the 8-year-old boy and 7-year-old girl.

"I'm unaware of any other state appellate court that has found that a child has, simultaneously, three adults who are financially obligated to the child's support and are also entitled to visitation," said New York Law School professor Arthur S. Leonard, an expert on sexuality and the law.

But Frampton, 60, of Indiana, Pennsylvania, died suddenly of a stroke in March, leaving lawyers involved in the case with different theories about how his death may affect the precedent-setting case.

Jodilynn Jacob, 33, and Jennifer Lee Shultz-Jacob, 48, moved in together as a couple in 1996, and were granted a civil-union license in Vermont in 2002. In addition to conceiving the two children with the help of Frampton a longtime friend of Shultz-Jacob's Jacob also adopted her brother's two older children, now 12 and 13

(Story continues below)

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But the women's relationship fell apart, and Jacob and the children moved out of their Dillsburg, Pennsylvania, home in February 2006.

Shortly afterward, a court awarded her about $1,000 a month in support from Shultz-Jacob. Shultz-Jacob later lost an effort to have the court force Frampton to contribute support a decision that the Superior Court overturned April 30.

Jacob, who now lives in Harrisburg, said Frampton provided some financial support over the years and gradually took a greater interest in the children.

"Part of the decision came down because he was so involved with them," Jacob said Wednesday. "It wasn't that he went to the (sperm) bank and that was it. They called him Papa."

The process was very informal Jacob was inseminated at home.

In his written opinion requiring Frampton to help pay for the child's support, Superior Court Judge John T.J. Kelly Jr. noted that Frampton spent thousands of dollars on the children, including purchases of toys and clothing.

The children knew he was their biological father, but Frampton opposed the effort to compel support from him.

"We made the argument that, according to Pennsylvania law as it stands, there can really only be two adult individuals that can be held liable for support in a child-custody case," said Frampton's lawyer, Matthew Aaron Smith.

Shultz-Jacob's lawyer, Heather Z. Reynosa, wants Frampton's support obligation to be made retroactive to when Jacob first filed for support. Frampton's Social Security survivor benefits may also help reduce Shultz-Jacob's monthly obligation.

It is unclear how the child-support guidelines, which assume two parents, will be adapted to account for three parents.

"That's what's going to be interesting, because there's not a whole lot of guidance out there," Reynosa said.

The state Supreme Court is currently considering a similar case, in which a sperm donor wants to enforce a promise made by the mother that he would not have to be involved in the child's life. That biological father was ordered to pay $1,520 in monthly support.

About two-thirds of states have adopted versions of the Uniform Parentage Act that can shield sperm donors from being forced to assume parenting responsibilities. Pennsylvania has no such law.
yoyo

Indianapolis, IN

#20 May 13, 2007
screw this
yoyo

Indianapolis, IN

#21 May 13, 2007
sorry about the multiple posts, but my laptop doesn't return things well.
yoyo

Indianapolis, IN

#22 May 13, 2007
oops

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