Whitehall coach charged w/ sex assault

Whitehall coach charged w/ sex assault

There are 233 comments on the WOOD-TV Grand Rapids and Michigan story from Jan 7, 2009, titled Whitehall coach charged w/ sex assault. In it, WOOD-TV Grand Rapids and Michigan reports that:

The girls' basketball coach at Whitehall High School is in jail, accused of sexual assault.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at WOOD-TV Grand Rapids and Michigan.

EducatedOnTheIss ue

Grand Rapids, MI

#222 Jan 10, 2009
What is sad and disappointing and disgusting about our society is that there aren't too many Bays defenders posting comments saying, "I don't believe he did this!" they are mostly saying they think he did it - but blaming and attacking the minor child!

No matter if she wanted it, came on to him, was promiscuous, went to school stark naked, whatever - she is a minor child and an adult crossing a very clear line and having sexual activity with her is committing a CRIME. It is against the law, period. The responsibility is on the adult in these situations, always, no matter what, whether anyone likes it or not. Obey the laws or face sitting in prison and enjoying that experience.
EducatedOnTheIss ue

Grand Rapids, MI

#223 Jan 10, 2009
Also, for those who are aaaall hung up on the "waiting 2 years" to tell her mother about this, I'll share something that won't get through to most, but if it educates one person it's worth it to me.

I was sexually abused as a child and as a teenager by a stepfather and a family friend. They put years of efforts into grooming me and gaining my mother's trust. Everyone thought these people were WONDERFUL, very well-respected jolly and all around great guys. They put such time and energy into making a young girl feel special and loved and understood and cared for. The stepfather was violent and used threats to keep me quiet from the age of 6 until 14. At 15 the family friend had his turn. The earlier years of abuse by my stepfather made me more susceptible to the abuse at 15 by the family friend. I was terrified, ashamed, and felt it was all I was worth - nothing more than a piece of filthy TRASH to be used. I never liked it, but I went along with it because I felt it was all I was worth; I thought this is what love was, and both of them told me if I ever told I would be sorry and no one would believe me and everyone would hate me. I believed them. I was emotionally damaged, and it took years for me to be okay again. I found some courage and told my mother, by the way, who didn't believe me at first - but then blamed ME. Called me a slut, the whole nine yards. I was devastated by that for many many years.

I'm in my 30s now and very happy, with a deep faith in God, a wonderful gentle and loving husband, and a burden to speak out about sexual abuse. There is a huge need for awareness and education on this issue. Those of you who rush to attack a young girl for speaking out really don't know what you are saying; what you are doing. False accusations do happen, sure. But it's rare, it really is. And those of you who think it did happen between Coach Bays and the girl but just don't care and attack her anyway just don't understand at ALL what could lead a girl into that situation, or why it could take 2 years for her to tell her mother. Many never tell, and I certainly understand why.
my opinion123

Hampton, VA

#224 Jan 10, 2009
he didn't rape her or "lure" her in. all the girls knew coach bays to be an attractive & friendly young man and alot of girls made comments about what they thought about him. she was just another girl who made comments and then went and had intercourse with him for 6 months.
EducatedOnTheIss ue

Grand Rapids, MI

#225 Jan 10, 2009
The way you just described him is exactly how many predators are described.
whs mom

Montague, MI

#226 Jan 10, 2009
support bays wrote:
<quoted text>
its so sad that his life is being ruined from all this..they are making him out to be so dangerous..a $100,000 bond? AND a tether? 15 years because a girl wanted him? wow...i'm astonished
Astonished? Plain and simple if he is found guilty, he broke a law! Don't be so surprised. That is what happens when you break the law!
Hmmmm

Muskegon, MI

#227 Jan 10, 2009
my opinion123 wrote:
he didn't rape her or "lure" her in. all the girls knew coach bays to be an attractive & friendly young man and alot of girls made comments about what they thought about him. she was just another girl who made comments and then went and had intercourse with him for 6 months.
I don't care if all the girls in town write him love letters, kiss his feet as he walks by and offer to have oral sex with him, he is not allowed to take advantage of their adoration. We taxpayers paid him money to take care of our kids, not take them to bed. What about this do you not understand?
EducatedOnTheIss ue

Grand Rapids, MI

#228 Jan 10, 2009
support bays wrote:
<quoted text>
its so sad that his life is being ruined from all this..they are making him out to be so dangerous..a $100,000 bond? AND a tether? 15 years because a girl wanted him? wow...i'm astonished
If convicted it should be much longer than 15 years. It's obvious that there are still people who think it's okay for an adult to have sex with a minor child. It's a crime! It's not because "a girl wanted him". It's because he couldn't just show up and do his job and not break the LAW.
EducatedOnTheIss ue

Grand Rapids, MI

#229 Jan 10, 2009
my opinion123 wrote:
<quoted text>
i don't know if i would go as far as saying shes a criminal..but i do think she wanted attention, thats the reason she decided to say something 2 years later.
its absolutely ridiculous that a person can be charged for something that they aren't even sure happened 2 years after the matter..
Even if she did want attention, it is a teacher or coach's job to teach and coach, NOT to have sex with our kids. It's his responsibility as the adult to set the boundaries and not BREAK THE LAW.
Alvin

Foley, AL

#230 Jan 10, 2009
I think it should be simple------don't have sex with anyone who still has a locker.
Thanks

Muskegon, MI

#231 Jan 10, 2009
Educated on the Issue - for sharing your story. I don't think most people really understand what sexual abuse is and means - congratulations on your recovery.

I know a girl who attends WHS and she told me that there have been horrible things said by other girls about the alleged victim. The local police chief wants to know why no one came forward before this, although there have been rumors for years about this man. Well, now he knows why no one talked. Who would risk the backlash?
EducatedOnTheIss ue

Grand Rapids, MI

#232 Jan 11, 2009
Thank you. I can't even imagine the fear of backlash she faces...considering the attacks from adults, I can only imagine what she would face from other kids. You'd need to be nearly superhuman to withstand that.
orlow

Caledonia, MI

#233 Jan 11, 2009
EducatedOnTheIssue wrote:
Thank you. I can't even imagine the fear of backlash she faces...considering the attacks from adults, I can only imagine what she would face from other kids. You'd need to be nearly superhuman to withstand that.
When you make things up to get attention, the backlash should be bad. How do youn think jared feels. He is guilty by you before he has even gone to court. Shame on you and shame on the attention deprived girl.
Get a clue

Minneapolis, MN

#234 Jan 11, 2009
Mr. Bays has been involved in many questionable relationships with students. He had issues at both Whitehall and OV. He is also a very compasionate teacher who connects on a personal level with his students. The girl that came forward is brave and is facing HORIBLE backlash because of it. Take a second and imagine what she is going through. Teachers are in a position to nuture and lead these children. Bays took this too far and made it a one stop shopping center for his own personal pleasure. Jared is a nice person, he just has deviant and ILLEGAL actions.
Stop attacking the one of many girls to step forward on this!
EducatedOnTheIss ue

Grand Rapids, MI

#235 Jan 11, 2009
"When you make things up to get attention, the backlash should be bad"

"...attention deprived girl"

Shame on ME? Shame on YOU.

My opinion of his guilt is based on extensive experience and knowledge of how rare false accusations are especially in a case like this, and especially when a prosecutor handles the case in this way. I believe it's important to let the justice system sort the facts, and I have stated that. However I will always support a girl who is brave enough to go to her mother in this situation and not make cruel assumptions and attacking comments about a minor child. WHAT ON EARTH MAKES YOU THINK ANYONE WOULD SEEK THE TYPE OF ATTENTION SHE IS NOW GETTING???? She has been brave enough to go to her mother and now have to deal with a LIVING HELL, and she's a CHILD.

How does Coach Bays feel? I won't try to assume what he feels. But he clearly has overwhelmingly blind support from the community, as shown in droves by these comments, most of which contain attacks on a minor child.
orlow wrote:
<quoted text>
When you make things up to get attention, the backlash should be bad. How do youn think jared feels. He is guilty by you before he has even gone to court. Shame on you and shame on the attention deprived girl.
my opinion123

Hampton, VA

#236 Jan 11, 2009
orlow wrote:
<quoted text>
When you make things up to get attention, the backlash should be bad. How do youn think jared feels. He is guilty by you before he has even gone to court. Shame on you and shame on the attention deprived girl.
I 100% agree with what your saying. The prosecutor Tony Tague is making him out to be a monster, predator, pedophile that he ISN'T and it's ridiculous that the media can get away with this garbage!
Alvin

Foley, AL

#237 Jan 11, 2009
my opinion123 wrote:
<quoted text>
I 100% agree with what your saying. The prosecutor Tony Tague is making him out to be a monster, predator, pedophile that he ISN'T and it's ridiculous that the media can get away with this garbage!
If it's proven true that he had sex with an 8th grader then he is a pedophile, regardless of how she dresses or behaves. Is it true, to your knowledge, that he is indeed living with a former student? If that is true you can bet something happened before she was out of high school, it's just wrong even if she was 18 the day they did it.

“Be your own hero.”

Since: Jul 08

Location hidden

#238 Jan 11, 2009
EducatedOnTheIssue wrote:
I won't try to assume what he feels. But he clearly has overwhelmingly blind support from the community, as shown in droves by these comments, most of which contain attacks on a minor child.
<quoted text>
Now just wait a minute there. Don't go judging the entire community and accuse them of "blind support" based on what you see typed here. There are plenty of people who are assuming he's a monster before the facts have even come out. Too many people are picking sides instead of waiting for the system to sort it out.

There are a few things that work in Jared's favor is this "picking sides":

1. Jared comes from a good family.
2. Most people don't know who the victim is, so it's easy to think she's a liar (or worse). The victim isn't humanized, but Jared is.
3. Most media outlets just can't wait to sensationalize the story, and people verbally fight back at that.
4. He's a teacher and coach, a person in a position of great influence and trust. We hate to believe this can happen. We hate to think that we have given our children to someone who does this. It's easier to deny it and wish it away.

In my experience, "where there's smoke, there's fire", but I also know that every story has two sides...and the truth usually lies somewhere in between. No matter where the truth lies, I hope the victim, whether it's the girl or Jared (and maybe it's both), can recover.

“Be your own hero.”

Since: Jul 08

Location hidden

#239 Jan 11, 2009
I reread my post, and just want to make it clear that while I believe the things I listed do work in Jared's favor, I don't think it's right. It kind of sounds like I was saying that because he's a teacher/coach with a good family, he should be presumed innocent. That's not at all what I meant. We just need to wait for the facts to sift out and not make our judgments yet.
Whitehall Parent

Muskegon, MI

#240 Jan 11, 2009
I don't think Mr. Bays is a monster, I really don't. If he did this, then he is a very self-centered, impulsive and troubled man, bordering on a pedophile. If he did not commit this crime, he still has problems with the career choice he made. The word I hear is that he is cute("hot"), friendly, joking, and young (many kids were shocked to hear he is 32). He is intense, emotional, and tends to talk and joke about girls' personal lives a lot with them. A good friend, some of them say. Some think he goes too far and is inappropriate, but not in a way that they can report to authorities. It is a vibe, a feeling, an instinct, and the upshot is that he is a flirt.

Well, it may be that flirting with High School girls is one way to gain loyalty from them as your students and your players, but it is certainly not a mature or professional way. There is a credible story I heard last year that he dated a player immediately after she graduated. What kind of message does that send to other students? That he is watching and waiting for the day they throw their caps in the air, and then maybe they can have him too. In other words, a wildly inappropriate message.

That is why I judge Mr. Bays, whether or not he committed this particular crime. Either way, I think he needs to find another job.

“Be your own hero.”

Since: Jul 08

Location hidden

#241 Jan 12, 2009
Whitehall Parent wrote:
I don't think Mr. Bays is a monster, I really don't. If he did this, then he is a very self-centered, impulsive and troubled man, bordering on a pedophile. If he did not commit this crime, he still has problems with the career choice he made. The word I hear is that he is cute("hot"), friendly, joking, and young (many kids were shocked to hear he is 32). He is intense, emotional, and tends to talk and joke about girls' personal lives a lot with them. A good friend, some of them say. Some think he goes too far and is inappropriate, but not in a way that they can report to authorities. It is a vibe, a feeling, an instinct, and the upshot is that he is a flirt.
Well, it may be that flirting with High School girls is one way to gain loyalty from them as your students and your players, but it is certainly not a mature or professional way. There is a credible story I heard last year that he dated a player immediately after she graduated. What kind of message does that send to other students? That he is watching and waiting for the day they throw their caps in the air, and then maybe they can have him too. In other words, a wildly inappropriate message.
That is why I judge Mr. Bays, whether or not he committed this particular crime. Either way, I think he needs to find another job.
I'm pretty sure he'll never teach again...even if he were found to be completely innocent of any wrongdoing.

Excellent post.

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