Family challenges fallen Texas firema...

Family challenges fallen Texas fireman's marriage to transgender woman

There are 55 comments on the El Paso Times story from Jul 22, 2010, titled Family challenges fallen Texas fireman's marriage to transgender woman. In it, El Paso Times reports that:

The family of a southeast Texas firefighter killed in a July 4 blaze is suing to void his marriage to his transgender widow.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at El Paso Times.

First Prev
of 3
Next Last

“I call it as I see it.”

Since: Jul 09

Retirement City

#43 Apr 5, 2011
TerryE wrote:
For decades, any and all discussions of Transexuality have been one sided and negative, Humorous in the "Elbow in the ribs" style.
We are sick of that! We are not grist for someone's humor mill any more the person with MS or cancer. We have a legitimate medical/physiological problem that science is just beginning to learn something about. This is not new, The first "sex Change" was done in Germany in 1921. Google Lili Elbe/Einar Wegener. Doctors, being baffled by this problem, which doesn't respond to psychiarity, were seeking a humane solution to a condition. Actually, They were performing primitive sex changes at least two thousand years ago in India. The "Hijra" were castrating their "sisters" under very primitive and unsanitary conditions. Remove the source of male hormones and the body feminizes. We see it in bulls and roosters. The roman emperor Elagabulas(SP) was a frustrated Transexual who promised a reward in gold to the doctor who could change him into a woman. Coming into the present, Google the Jan 1937 edition of Modern Mechanix piece titled "Can Sex in Human be Changed?" Google the following Terms; Tumtim , Berdache,
Kathoey, Hijra, Faafafini. Get a historical perpective on this! It's not evil, it's medical!
Regards, Terry
<quoted text>
Most of my wrath was directed at Emelye Waldherr and not specifically aimed at all transsexuals. There has been bad blood between us for a long time dating back to when I fist started posting on Topix. I did perhaps get a bit too blunt for my own good at times with my exchanges.

I see nothing in your post that I patently disagree with and I do still respect you as a fellow human being. While I wouldn't want anything but an XX female for a wife, I am not go to deny your right to exist in peace and dignity. I also feel that the sodomy charge made against the transsexuals by another individual was totally tasteless and I do not blame you for taking offense at that post.

Peace,
flbadcatowner

Since: Jan 09

Central NJ

#44 Apr 6, 2011
Well anyway, you, of all our detractors, have been fair and listened to our arguments! There are men who are specifically attracted to Transgendered women. They will have little or nothing to do with Cis gendered women. Suppressed homosexuality? It would seem so, except it's our femmininity that draws them in. Dress us as males and there's no attraction, but as females, they loves us. And they usually don't want reciprocal sex. They want us as women, period! Two movies come to mind, "Soldier's Girl" and the "Crying Game" Soldier's girl is the true story of the love between Barry Winchell and a Transexual Girl and his later killing by another soldier for being a "Queer". Sorry, My mind won't give me the name of the TS woman, and she is well known. Google "Soldier's Girl" fort it. The "Crying Game" is a fictional account of a love story with the "Troubles" in Ireland as a back drop. It's slightly sensationalized, but does give a fairly accurate idea of what life is like as a TS, The love, hate, and Jealousy of Cis women. It won first prize at Cannes the year it came out.
Regards, Terry
flbadcatowner wrote:
<quoted text>Most of my wrath was directed at Emelye Waldherr and not specifically aimed at all transsexuals. There has been bad blood between us for a long time dating back to when I fist started posting on Topix. I did perhaps get a bit too blunt for my own good at times with my exchanges.
I see nothing in your post that I patently disagree with and I do still respect you as a fellow human being. While I wouldn't want anything but an XX female for a wife, I am not go to deny your right to exist in peace and dignity. I also feel that the sodomy charge made against the transsexuals by another individual was totally tasteless and I do not blame you for taking offense at that post.
Peace,
flbadcatowner

“Indeed, I am!”

Since: Feb 09

As if it mattered . . .

#45 Apr 6, 2011
flbadcatowner wrote:
<quoted text>For someone who tossed misogynist charges in the past as casually as a snow blower tosses snow, I wouldn't talk if I were you. You are no less a troll than others you accuse.
I seem to remember calling your opinion/actions misogynist and I stand by that. I also remember your being very offended but unable to counter my charge with any kind of valid argument.

If I remember correctly, you were using a "blame the victim" strategy while talking about rape. I still say that was a misogynist thing to do.

“Indeed, I am!”

Since: Feb 09

As if it mattered . . .

#46 Apr 6, 2011
I also note you have chosen to avoid mentioning anything regarding my point about people like you using a strategy of being willing to accommodate cognitive dissonances in service of defending your prejudices. I guess that means you agree with me?

“I call it as I see it.”

Since: Jul 09

Retirement City

#47 Apr 6, 2011
Emelye Waldherr wrote:
<quoted text>
I seem to remember calling your opinion/actions misogynist and I stand by that. I also remember your being very offended but unable to counter my charge with any kind of valid argument.
If I remember correctly, you were using a "blame the victim" strategy while talking about rape. I still say that was a misogynist thing to do.
Misogynist means woman hating or disparaging women as a gender and I hardly hate women. After all, I am happily married to one. You should stop using those big words you do not understand the meaning of.

“I call it as I see it.”

Since: Jul 09

Retirement City

#48 Apr 6, 2011
Emelye Waldherr wrote:
I also note you have chosen to avoid mentioning anything regarding my point about people like you using a strategy of being willing to accommodate cognitive dissonances in service of defending your prejudices. I guess that means you agree with me?
Since when does a non response equal agreement with a statement. I take it that your your verbal gymnastics can be translated as having to do with legitimate differences of opinion on certain subjects which by the way, is constitutionally protected. I will add that you do not have a monopoly on truth by a longshot.

“I call it as I see it.”

Since: Jul 09

Retirement City

#49 Apr 6, 2011
TerryE wrote:
Well anyway, you, of all our detractors, have been fair and listened to our arguments! There are men who are specifically attracted to Transgendered women. They will have little or nothing to do with Cis gendered women. Suppressed homosexuality? It would seem so, except it's our femmininity that draws them in. Dress us as males and there's no attraction, but as females, they loves us. And they usually don't want reciprocal sex. They want us as women, period! Two movies come to mind, "Soldier's Girl" and the "Crying Game" Soldier's girl is the true story of the love between Barry Winchell and a Transexual Girl and his later killing by another soldier for being a "Queer". Sorry, My mind won't give me the name of the TS woman, and she is well known. Google "Soldier's Girl" fort it. The "Crying Game" is a fictional account of a love story with the "Troubles" in Ireland as a back drop. It's slightly sensationalized, but does give a fairly accurate idea of what life is like as a TS, The love, hate, and Jealousy of Cis women. It won first prize at Cannes the year it came out.
Regards, Terry
<quoted text>
Interesting post. I actually do enjoy reading your posts as you do seem to have a reasonably logical brain inside your head.

Since: Feb 11

Location hidden

#50 Apr 6, 2011
This is totally disgusting !!!

I have heard of family members snooping and putting their heads in their children's marriges, but this is pathetic. My God they should let the man rest in peace. The guy gave his service as a fireman, and now they can't even respect his wishes in death?

It's one thing if a person has a PERSONAL phobia, but when a person's phobia results in the attempt to destroy one's family, then that is totally sick.

I hope that the trans woman's marriage remains honored and respected.

“Indeed, I am!”

Since: Feb 09

As if it mattered . . .

#51 Apr 7, 2011
flbadcatowner wrote:
<quoted text>Since when does a non response equal agreement with a statement. I take it that your your verbal gymnastics can be translated as having to do with legitimate differences of opinion on certain subjects which by the way, is constitutionally protected. I will add that you do not have a monopoly on truth by a longshot.
I realize your male privilege blinds you to the fact that being married to a woman and holding misogynist views are not mutually exclusive but really, victim blaming in cases of rape is just that. Misogynistic.

A question (didn't you notice the question mark?) is now "verbal gymnastics?"

Ms Araguz's in-laws are obviously driven by greed and transphobia in their attempt to have her legal gender, and thus her marriage, negated yet you still condemn her and all trans women using inflammatory words like, "fraud" and "counterfeit." Yours is apparently a misogyny that includes transphobia, a not uncommon thing, but your true offense is your unwillingness to learn new things and change your point of view in light of the new knowledge. That unwillingness to accept new facts lies at the base of your trans-misogyny.

“I call it as I see it.”

Since: Jul 09

Retirement City

#52 Apr 7, 2011
Emelye Waldherr wrote:
<quoted text>
I realize your male privilege blinds you to the fact that being married to a woman and holding misogynist views are not mutually exclusive but really, victim blaming in cases of rape is just that. Misogynistic.
A question (didn't you notice the question mark?) is now "verbal gymnastics?"
Ms Araguz's in-laws are obviously driven by greed and transphobia in their attempt to have her legal gender, and thus her marriage, negated yet you still condemn her and all trans women using inflammatory words like, "fraud" and "counterfeit." Yours is apparently a misogyny that includes transphobia, a not uncommon thing, but your true offense is your unwillingness to learn new things and change your point of view in light of the new knowledge. That unwillingness to accept new facts lies at the base of your trans-misogyny.
Your misogynist charges are totally spurious. No woman deserves to be raped, however, some women make foolish decisions that put them at risk for getting raped. Warning women about the dangers of skimpy attire is no different than warning swimmers about swimming in an alligator infested lake or warning people not to handle venomous snakes, especially while intoxicated. That is hardly misogynistic.

Your biggest problem is that you are unwilling to learn that you a final authority on everything and anything. What is wrong with not wanting a converted xy male into female wife? I will concede that you feel like a woman inside and that you feel that one can be surgically altered to look like a woman in order to have the outward appearance match the inner feelings. However, I would feel like I was having gay sex if I ever had sex with a male to female transsexual. You want me to understand your feelings, but you totally disregard mine.

Have you ever wondered why I save my strongest language for your posts? If you would reread some of your past posts, you might understand why. You are little more than a pseudo-intellectual motormouth who doesn't have a clue.

“Indeed, I am!”

Since: Feb 09

As if it mattered . . .

#53 Apr 7, 2011
flbadcatowner wrote:
Your misogynist charges are totally spurious. No woman deserves to be raped, however, some women make foolish decisions that put them at risk for getting raped. Warning women about the dangers of skimpy attire is no different than warning swimmers about swimming in an alligator infested lake or warning people not to handle venomous snakes, especially while intoxicated. That is hardly misogynistic.
Sorry, you're wrong. Your kind of thinking is one of the causes we have a rape culture in the US. What a woman is wearing is no excuse to forcibly assault her sexually. The fact that some men think it is an excuse shows how entitled and selfish they really are. It's a reflection of the pernicious idea that men can't be held responsible for their unwillingness to control their sexual passion. It's patently misogynistic because it presumes that men are within their rights to rape a woman if they are attracted to them because women somehow deserve to be assaulted because they look nice.
flbadcatowner wrote:
Your biggest problem is that you are unwilling to learn that you a final authority on everything and anything. What is wrong with not wanting a converted xy male into female wife? I will concede that you feel like a woman inside and that you feel that one can be surgically altered to look like a woman in order to have the outward appearance match the inner feelings. However, I would feel like I was having gay sex if I ever had sex with a male to female transsexual. You want me to understand your feelings, but you totally disregard mine.
You're trying to change the subject here. There's nothing wrong about choosing not to marry a person for whatever reason. Your assumptions about Ms Araguz deceiving her husband, on the word of some greedy in-laws and their shyster lawyers, is prejudicial and transphobic. Your insistence that trans women are "converted XY males" is, again, transphobic and a glaring symptom of your rigid narrow mindedness. We weren't talking about your precious feelings here. That's another derail. We were talking about Nikki Araguz and how her in-laws are trying to screw her out of what's rightfully hers as a legal wife.
flbadcatowner wrote:
Have you ever wondered why I save my strongest language for your posts? If you would reread some of your past posts, you might understand why. You are little more than a pseudo-intellectual motormouth who doesn't have a clue.
You can try to derail this by insulting me all you want. That won't change the fact that you are displaying unrepentant prejudice and trans-misogyny in this thread and it won't keep me from pointing that out.

“I call it as I see it.”

Since: Jul 09

Retirement City

#54 Apr 7, 2011
Emelye Waldherr wrote:
<quoted text>
Sorry, you're wrong. Your kind of thinking is one of the causes we have a rape culture in the US. What a woman is wearing is no excuse to forcibly assault her sexually. The fact that some men think it is an excuse shows how entitled and selfish they really are. It's a reflection of the pernicious idea that men can't be held responsible for their unwillingness to control their sexual passion. It's patently misogynistic because it presumes that men are within their rights to rape a woman if they are attracted to them because women somehow deserve to be assaulted because they look nice.
<quoted text>
You're trying to change the subject here. There's nothing wrong about choosing not to marry a person for whatever reason. Your assumptions about Ms Araguz deceiving her husband, on the word of some greedy in-laws and their shyster lawyers, is prejudicial and transphobic. Your insistence that trans women are "converted XY males" is, again, transphobic and a glaring symptom of your rigid narrow mindedness. We weren't talking about your precious feelings here. That's another derail. We were talking about Nikki Araguz and how her in-laws are trying to screw her out of what's rightfully hers as a legal wife.
<quoted text>
You can try to derail this by insulting me all you want. That won't change the fact that you are displaying unrepentant prejudice and trans-misogyny in this thread and it won't keep me from pointing that out.
I never said a woman's apparel (or lack of it) was an excuse for rape. You are a liar to insinuate such a thing. All I said is that it is not the wisest thing to wear provocative clothes. Talk about a straw man argument on your part.

I am not condemning, nor supporting Nikki A. Is your memory that short that you cannot remember me saying that I do not have nearly enough proven facts to render a judgment on this? For that matter, neither do you. All we have is your opinions being presented as incontrovertible proof.

I am hardly fearful of transsexuals which makes your charges of transphobia nothing more than an inflammatory misnomer. Your post is loaded with deceptions and inaccuracies.

“Peace”

Since: Feb 08

Earth

#55 Apr 10, 2011
flbadcatowner wrote:
<quoted text>Your misogynist charges are totally spurious. No woman deserves to be raped, however, some women make foolish decisions that put them at risk for getting raped. Warning women about the dangers of skimpy attire is no different than warning swimmers about swimming in an alligator infested lake or warning people not to handle venomous snakes, especially while intoxicated. That is hardly misogynistic.
You don’t know just how degrading your comment here is to women…
1 in every 3 American Indian Women will be raped and 9 out of 10 times by a non-native man…
Why don’t you just run out to some of the reservations and ask what they were wearing?
Non-natives who rape an Indian woman on the reservation fall under federal government jurisdiction and Tribal Police are not allowed to arrest the non-native rapist. A report must be filled with the federal government and then an investigator assigned. By this time the rapist is long gone as well as vital evidence. This has nothing to do with clothing or foolish decisions, this type of rape is because the men can get away with it and know it…
-
Maze of Injustice
The failure to protect indigenous women from sexual violence in the USA
http://www.nijc.org/pdfs/Subject%20Matter%20A...

EXERTS
According to the US Department of Justice, in at least 86 per cent of reported cases of rape or sexual assault against American Indian and Alaska Native women, survivors report that the perpetrators are non-Native men.

Over the past decade, federal government studies have consistently shown
that American Indian and Alaska Native women experience much higher levels
of sexual violence than other women in the USA. Data gathered by the US
Department of Justice indicates that Native American and Alaska Native
women 7 are more than 2.5 times more likely to be raped or sexually assaulted
than women in the USA in general.8 A US Department of Justice study on
violence against women concluded that 34.1 per cent of American Indian and
Alaska Native women – or more than one in three – will be raped during their
lifetime; the comparable figure for the USA as a whole is less than one in five.9
Shocking though these statistics are, it is widely believed that they do not
accurately portray the extent of sexual violence against Native American and
Alaska Native women.10

-
In July 2006 an Alaska Native woman in Fairbanks reported to the police that she had been raped by a non-Native man.She gave a description of the alleged perpetrator and city police officers told her that they were going to look for him.She waited for the police to return and when they failed to do so,she went to the emergency room for treatment.A support
worker told Amnesty International that the woman had bruises all over her body and was so traumatized that she was talking very quickly.She said that,although the woman was not drunk,the Sexual Assault Response Team nevertheless “treated her like a drunk Native woman first and a rape victim second ”.The support worker described how the woman was given some painkillers and some money to go to a non-Native shelter,which turned her away because they also assumed that she was drunk:“This is why Native women don ’t report.It ’s creating a breeding ground for sexual predators.”

“I call it as I see it.”

Since: Jul 09

Retirement City

#56 Apr 11, 2011
Annaleigh wrote:
<quoted text>You don’t know just how degrading your comment here is to women…
1 in every 3 American Indian Women will be raped and 9 out of 10 times by a non-native man…
Why don’t you just run out to some of the reservations and ask what they were wearing?
Non-natives who rape an Indian woman on the reservation fall under federal government jurisdiction and Tribal Police are not allowed to arrest the non-native rapist. A report must be filled with the federal government and then an investigator assigned. By this time the rapist is long gone as well as vital evidence. This has nothing to do with clothing or foolish decisions, this type of rape is because the men can get away with it and know it…
-
Maze of Injustice
The failure to protect indigenous women from sexual violence in the USA
http://www.nijc.org/pdfs/Subject%20Matter%20A...
EXERTS
According to the US Department of Justice, in at least 86 per cent of reported cases of rape or sexual assault against American Indian and Alaska Native women, survivors report that the perpetrators are non-Native men.
Over the past decade, federal government studies have consistently shown
that American Indian and Alaska Native women experience much higher levels
of sexual violence than other women in the USA. Data gathered by the US
Department of Justice indicates that Native American and Alaska Native
women 7 are more than 2.5 times more likely to be raped or sexually assaulted
than women in the USA in general.8 A US Department of Justice study on
violence against women concluded that 34.1 per cent of American Indian and
Alaska Native women – or more than one in three – will be raped during their
lifetime; the comparable figure for the USA as a whole is less than one in five.9
Shocking though these statistics are, it is widely believed that they do not
accurately portray the extent of sexual violence against Native American and
Alaska Native women.10
-
In July 2006 an Alaska Native woman in Fairbanks reported to the police that she had been raped by a non-Native man.She gave a description of the alleged perpetrator and city police officers told her that they were going to look for him.She waited for the police to return and when they failed to do so,she went to the emergency room for treatment.A support
worker told Amnesty International that the woman had bruises all over her body and was so traumatized that she was talking very quickly.She said that,although the woman was not drunk,the Sexual Assault Response Team nevertheless “treated her like a drunk Native woman first and a rape victim second ”.The support worker described how the woman was given some painkillers and some money to go to a non-Native shelter,which turned her away because they also assumed that she was drunk:“This is why Native women don ’t report.It ’s creating a breeding ground for sexual predators.”
I already said there was no justification whatsoever for raping a woman. Not properly handling a rape case is also not justified. If a women cries rape, the authorities have an obligation to properly investigate it and bring charges if warranted. All I did was warn women that certain things could put her at greater risk. Have I made myself clear?

Since: Jan 11

El Paso, TX

#57 Apr 11, 2011
Can't not even remark on this one.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 3
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Wharton Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Election Who do you support for State Board of Education... (Oct '10) 11 hr CheeseSniff 1,050
Christene schoener Jan 2 Simon 1
Hot female teachers at ecms Dec '16 Horacio 3
White kids with truck destroyed VFW property (Jan '15) Dec '16 Mikey 2
News Egypt state news agency says Mubarak is "clinic... (Jun '12) Jun '16 Zionist appeasers 18
looking for an efficiency in wharton (Jul '14) Jan '16 Andro87 2
Review: Centerpoint Energy (Apr '15) Apr '15 bob 1

Wharton Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Wharton Mortgages