Fat chance that her guy will ever be happy

Full story: Chicago Tribune

Dear Amy: My boyfriend of seven years just informed me that if I were skinnier we would be married.
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321 - 340 of 341 Comments Last updated Aug 19, 2013

“Merry Holidays!”

Since: Mar 08

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#337
Apr 1, 2009
 
On SAHMothers wrote:
As an excuse-riddled fat person, I have endured lectures and insults from absolute strangers, who not only took offence at my very existence, but also thought it was within their rights to snatch my salad out from under my nose, because I didn't need nutrition, due to being fat. I've been called all sorts of vile names, because I'm fat. I've been physically assaulted, along with the verbal harrassment, with the *excuse* that I'm fat, and therefore *spoiling things for the rest of us*!!!11eleventyone1!!ZOMG!
I am not accusing anyone here of doing the same thing. I am, however, saying that words have power, and they can be hurtful, and I have not harmed any of you by my weight. Further, my body, my choice, right? How can that thinking apply to a woman's uterus and the contents therein, but not to a human being's fat cells?
Okay. I gotta step in here. They are being mean. No one knows your medical history. No one knows what med you're taking. No one knows what is flicking on and off your metabolism.

If you haven't done so already, and I'm only suggesting this b/c you seem frustrated at your attempts and not getting anywhere -- have your blood and hormones checked. Have someone go over all medications that you are taking

Also -- DO NOT STARVE YOURSELF. You will gain weight b/c your body will shut off. Your electrolytes are probably really screwed up.

Go to a nutritional doctor -- have tests run. Just make sure you eat healthy and not overdo on the calorie intake and who cares about the rest? Really. You are beautiful no matter what your size.

I'd appreciate anyone 50 pounds (over whatever) overweight with a heart of gold. Don't, don't beat yourself up.

It's true what our caregivers told us -- in life everyone is not going to like us. That's their problem. Worry about yourself and let them be happy in their own little, little world.
Trish

United States

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#338
Apr 2, 2009
 
LW1: I didn't read all 321 posts, so I don't know if this is covered, but here it is. I think you can love someone without being sexually attracted to them. It would be nice to have both. Maybe the guy loves her but finds her fat repellant and has been "dealing with it" for all this time. He may be hesitant to marry someone with whom there is no sexual spark. Does that make him a jerk? I don't think so. And he was honest enough to get to the point and tell her what was wrong in the relationship.

I have went from skinny to fat to skinny again, losing 55 lbs. I know how hard it can be, but it is not impossible. I gained weigh with and after pregnancy and my husband did not find it attractive AT ALL. He didn't stop loving me, he didn't divorce me, he just pretty much stopped desiring me. I got off my fat butt and took the weight off, I didn't demand that he find me attractive no matter what!
Everett552

Markham, IL

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#339
Apr 2, 2009
 
liner wrote:
Dear Fluffy, go ahead and cross that bridge with him.......and when you get to the middle, toss him off....
There ya go! and then tell dude to get lost! NEXT!!!!!!

“Snow days!”

Since: Nov 08

A winter wonderland

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#340
Apr 3, 2009
 
As a warning to fat people everywhere, if you're going to try fad diets be careful- very careful! I decided to try the Nutrisystem diet last year. While the weight did start to come off, the lingering effects of that diet are still bothering me today. The food tastes good- at first. Then you realize that everything has a fish oil & tomato base, & is loaded with salt. My blood pressure spiked to 190/110. What it did do was teach me about portion control. And that's what has made my dieting reasonably successful now. I've lost 50 lbs in the last year. Let's not even go into how expensive those diets are.
Ivory Dove

San Antonio, TX

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#341
Apr 3, 2009
 
Andie J wrote:
As a warning to fat people everywhere, if you're going to try fad diets be careful- very careful! I decided to try the Nutrisystem diet last year. While the weight did start to come off, the lingering effects of that diet are still bothering me today. The food tastes good- at first. Then you realize that everything has a fish oil & tomato base, & is loaded with salt. My blood pressure spiked to 190/110. What it did do was teach me about portion control. And that's what has made my dieting reasonably successful now. I've lost 50 lbs in the last year. Let's not even go into how expensive those diets are.
Also, there are weight loss powders
that alter the metabolism. In Europe,
more than one of my friends developed
pneumonia from using the weight loss
powder as a supplement to coffee creamer.

“Snow days!”

Since: Nov 08

A winter wonderland

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#342
Apr 3, 2009
 
Ivory Dove wrote:
<quoted text>
Also, there are weight loss powders
that alter the metabolism. In Europe,
more than one of my friends developed
pneumonia from using the weight loss
powder as a supplement to coffee creamer.
How about those people who took Phen-Fen & are now awaiting heart-lung transplants? Fat people will always be preyed upon by unscrupulous companies. We are considered dirty & sloppy & less than human.
Marsha

United States

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#343
Apr 3, 2009
 
It's sad, because people want a fast solution, but unfortunately there is no magic involved: you eat less, you eat healthy, and you get a lot of exercise. It's a simple, but tough to follow for many, regimen.

It's great that you lost so much weight! I think the only program that's truly legit is Weight Watchers, and the support that people get as a result of it is a great thing.

“Snow days!”

Since: Nov 08

A winter wonderland

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#344
Apr 6, 2009
 
Marsha wrote:
It's sad, because people want a fast solution, but unfortunately there is no magic involved: you eat less, you eat healthy, and you get a lot of exercise. It's a simple, but tough to follow for many, regimen.
It's great that you lost so much weight! I think the only program that's truly legit is Weight Watchers, and the support that people get as a result of it is a great thing.
Weight Watchers succeeds because it's not a diet- it's developing new healthy eating habits. There is no quick fix. Anyone here ever take Alli? The warning label scared me. Bring extra clothing with you in case of an accident? Oh ick. I tried potato chips with Orlestin (I think) used instead of oil. The aftermath was not pretty.
Bill

New York, NY

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#345
Apr 7, 2009
 
To "seeking answers" you are a class A jerk. If you're so happily married, why are you thinking about a past love? What would you think if you found out your wife was sending letters to a former flame? Would you care that she just wanted answers or would you be ok with it if she were to pursue this unrequited love? Turnaround is fair play and if you continue down this road, I hope your wife dumps YOU for someone she had stronger feelings for! What a putz you are.
Stephen

Petersburg, TN

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#346
Apr 15, 2009
 
Fluffy needs to loose a few pounds (for her own long term good) but also loose the guy too! I have been in a few "I love you but..." relationships and these are always people who like to be in control of things or think any relationship is mostly about them. Example "I don't want to be seen with someone with orange hair. It's bad for my image."

“Snow days!”

Since: Nov 08

A winter wonderland

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#347
Apr 19, 2009
 
Stephen wrote:
Fluffy needs to loose a few pounds (for her own long term good) but also loose the guy too! I have been in a few "I love you but..." relationships and these are always people who like to be in control of things or think any relationship is mostly about them. Example "I don't want to be seen with someone with orange hair. It's bad for my image."
Stephen, that's a good response, but I have to get something off my chest. I can't stand it when someone tells me something is "for my own good". How presumptuous. I think we're all individually able to decide what is for our own good. If you saw me, you'd probably say or at least think that I should lose a few pounds. Who is to say I haven't already lost a lot of weight & why would it possible be anyone else's business? Don't mean to rant, it's just something that bugs me.
Ivory Dove

San Antonio, TX

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#348
Apr 19, 2009
 
This has rolled back in out of the
archives? Okay, your friendly DJ will
now play "Heavy makes You Happy" by
the Staple Singers from 1970.
Jacoma

Springfield, IL

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#349
May 6, 2009
 
Dear Fluffy:

Run the other way as fast as you can! Love should be unconditional, period! Just imagine the life you will have with this moron.
Ivory Dove

San Antonio, TX

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#350
May 6, 2009
 
And now we got an oldies' request for an old
Joe Tex song with the lyrics:

"I ain't gonna bump no more with no big, fat woman"...
East of Eden

Spring, TX

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#351
Jul 4, 2013
 
Well, there's nothing new worth reading. Maybe there will be something good in these posts.

“I'm the Texas Dingbat.”

Since: Jun 13

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#352
Jul 4, 2013
 
My life is so empty and pathetic that I dig up 5 year old threads to comment on.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#353
Jul 7, 2013
 
Well, you got me beat. I only respond to 5yr old threads when someone posts.
SpringTexasDingbat wrote:
My life is so empty and pathetic that I dig up 5 year old threads to comment on.
Crystal Blue Persuasion

Spring, TX

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#354
Aug 12, 2013
 
SpringTexasDingbat wrote:
My life is so empty and pathetic that I dig up 5 year old threads to comment on.
Hi Spring Hill Spooky M. You are very transparent.
Six Figures

Spring, TX

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#355
Aug 18, 2013
 
I park as far away as possible and I take the stairs now when I go to visit a friend on the third floor. I'm often also carrying groceries up those flights.
Good training. If you can't do that, you probably let yourself get out of shape.

I'm resting up for round 2 of shopping today. My spouse is hauling out the boxes. As much as I love eating out, it is not always healthy and is $$$. Even though I have a larger budget now, I still look for bargains. Example: You can buy whole tyson chickens for 6 bucks or you can buy a tiny package of chicken breasts for 7 dollars. You can use the spare parts to make your own chicken stock. If more people would cook like that, it would be healthier and cheaper.

As they say on Duck Dynasty: Too much time in the subdivision. Those wives do not know how to sew, cook, bake a loaf of homemade bread. They apparently didn't spend enough time with grandparents. I did.

Since: Feb 07

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#356
Aug 19, 2013
 
Some people are just shallow and that's all on them.

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