“To YouR OwN SeLF STaY TruE”

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#1 Feb 13, 2013
Here is my story..I've dated a man for a 1yr and he has 3 kids..6,8,and 13..I have 4 kids..2 boys 19 and 14 and 2 girls 16 and 13..while we were dating he says that that is no chances of his kids ever living with us..Well i married him 1 mth ago and now he is talking abt them living with us..Mind you he got custody in his divorce and let the x wife get them anyway cause his job kept him from beining able to get them.Do you think im wrong for feeling like its unfair to me for him to let his 3 kids live with us when he want be there for them most the time i will have be.Plus he made it clear he wasn't gonna try to get them before i married him..would i be wrong for leaving?I feel its unfair to me..idk maybe im wrong!

“To YouR OwN SeLF STaY TruE”

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#2 Feb 13, 2013
Btw his 3 girls are more or less helpless..they act like they dnt no how to do anything for themselves
a stepmom

West Monroe, LA

#3 Feb 13, 2013
While I don't have all the details of your circumstances my opinion is you married him knowing he had these kids. You also knew he had custody and why he let the ex keep them. Didn't it ever occur to you that when he had a wife and mother figure in the home he just might want these kids back? How would you feel if he didn't want yours living with him? Don't forget he is a step parent now too. I just think its not fair of you to want him to except your kids in his home but not his own and you not be willing to except his in the home also.

“To YouR OwN SeLF STaY TruE”

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#4 Feb 13, 2013
my kids are older and he doesn't have to do anything for my kids..his kids on the other hand id have to take care of when he isn't around..There is something i didn't mention..His 8 yr old lied on my youngest son and later admitted that she lied and I left him and said i didn't want my kids around her because she lies alot and could possibly get my son in big trouble with her lies so he said that i didn't have to worry abt them living with us..hell i was worried abt her even bein around much less living with us and I no my son said he would move out if they lived with us..Plus he didn't have custody when i married him and also said he wouldnt get them ..because if he wouldve told me this before id never married him..and to me i believe its not fair because they have a mom and I have 4 of my own to raise..these kids would be put off on me not him..
a stepmom

West Monroe, LA

#5 Feb 13, 2013
True33 wrote:
my kids are older and he doesn't have to do anything for my kids..his kids on the other hand id have to take care of when he isn't around..There is something i didn't mention..His 8 yr old lied on my youngest son and later admitted that she lied and I left him and said i didn't want my kids around her because she lies alot and could possibly get my son in big trouble with her lies so he said that i didn't have to worry abt them living with us..hell i was worried abt her even bein around much less living with us and I no my son said he would move out if they lived with us..Plus he didn't have custody when i married him and also said he wouldnt get them ..because if he wouldve told me this before id never married him..and to me i believe its not fair because they have a mom and I have 4 of my own to raise..these kids would be put off on me not him..
So you are making him choose between your kids and his. Not a very fair choice. What would you do if that we're your choice to make? In my opinion you should never have married him. If you can't except a spouses kids ( to me) you can't expect a marriage to work.

Don't get me wrong I'm not bashing you for looking out for the best for your own kids I do too, but you have to come to terms with his kids in some fashion if you want your marriage.

“To YouR OwN SeLF STaY TruE”

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#6 Feb 13, 2013
I married him knowing he had kids and except that but for him to tryin get them now for me to watch is not fair @ all to me!How the hell can he feel ok abt first of all making it clear they weren't gonna be living with us then as soon as we're married start talking abt getting them?Its wrong to pin 3 more kids on me knowing i already have 4 and they have a mother and he shot the nutt in that whore so he needs to live with the decision he made to have her as the mother of his kids!Not me!
tsk tsk

Logansport, LA

#7 Feb 13, 2013
He may think you would be a good role model, apparently, he misjudged that. Tell him, not Topix!!!

“To YouR OwN SeLF STaY TruE”

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#8 Feb 13, 2013
Yea he does think that and he didn't misjudged me !I except his kids but refuse to be a babysitter! not happening!

“To YouR OwN SeLF STaY TruE”

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#9 Feb 13, 2013
btw i have told him
a stepmom

Natchitoches, LA

#10 Feb 13, 2013
Please leave him. Those kids need a positive influence in their life not an evil stepmother. Also a man should not be made to choose between a woman and his kids. He will be better off without you and the 4 extra kids you put on HIM.

“To YouR OwN SeLF STaY TruE”

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#11 Feb 13, 2013
You are a dumbass !Thanks for all yalls stupid opinions!Obviously you refuse to see my side!That girls right i shouldn't tell topix ..nothing but dumbasses here!

“To YouR OwN SeLF STaY TruE”

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#12 Feb 13, 2013
btw he knew what he signed up for !Im the one who is getting 3 kids pinned on me when i didn't sign up to raise 3 more kids!Yea they are here every weekend and i excepted that but never did he mention they were ever gonna live with us..Its like he married me to have a live in babysitter and just so he want have to pay that whore cs but whtever peace!
Evil stepmom

United States

#13 Feb 13, 2013
Um first of all them kids have a damn mama and them kids wasn't living with him before they got married!!Sounds to me like he married you to have a babysitter..I agree its def unfair to you because he knew you had your kids and he took that own and he trying to put his 3 on you as well lol Id be gone!

“To YouR OwN SeLF STaY TruE”

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#14 Feb 13, 2013
Thank you!That's all Im trying to say..
Counselor at Large

Shreveport, LA

#15 Feb 13, 2013
Concerning your situation and circumstances i can see your point true33.Marriage is a team effort.if there are children on both sides of the relationship it should be up to the children where they want to be if they are at the age of accountability.I had a step mother,and she did not want me in her family,but my dad insisted,and I lived with them for 5 years and endured verbal,emotional,and physical abuse because she did not want me there.When you got married you make a vow to your mate for better or worse,richer or poorer,in sickness and in health to honor and obey as long as you both shall live.Only god can help you in the situation.topix can only confuse you.Let go and let God take over all problems that you have difficulty dealing with.He is the answer to every problem.Praying for you and with you true33.god bless you
Wutsthacents

Shreveport, LA

#16 Feb 13, 2013
If you don't straiten up your act, this marrige of yours is DOOMED. Where does the real problem lie? Think about it. You want your cake and eat it too. Without the sharing of course. When you took vowes with this man, you also took vowes with his children. All this planning and your already ready to give up? Shame shame! Who do you realy Love? You can't have one without the other, so think long & hard before you go making any rash desisions your going to regret.
Just saying

Joliet, IL

#17 Feb 18, 2013
Doesn't sound like a stable home with just your kids there. Throwing 3 more in the mix would be disastrous. Ever heard of birth control?
Ho fo sho

Charleston, WV

#18 Feb 18, 2013
You married a man knowing he had three kids!!! If you honestly loved this man you would want him to be happy and if that means helping him raise his kids then so be it. You put FOUR kids on him and you say they are old enough that he doesn't do anything for your kids.. Well then u helping with his kids shouldn't be a problem. Sounds to me like your a selfish witch and only cares about u and ur kids! U are now a step mother... Meaning u act
As his children's mother when she can't be there! Not taking her place but nurturing and loving them. If you can't do it GOOD BYE! Let him marry another female who will care about his wants and needs and his kids. You should prolly still be with ur kids dad.. But I'm sure all four of ur kids don't all have the same dad. You are the problem!
Just saying

Joliet, IL

#19 Feb 18, 2013
Hey Wutsthacents. Your right. That marriage was doomed from the day she said I Do. Sounds like it is all about her. What an F-ng douchbag

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