Fight Obese Childhood Hunger

Fight Obese Childhood Hunger

Posted in the Westville Forum

Sallie Strothers

Westville, IL

#1 Feb 17, 2013
One-third of all kids go to bed hungry every night.

One-third of all kids go to bed obese every night.

It's a sad fact, but all hungry kids, and most obese kids, are in poverty.
Therefore, there's a whole lot of obese boys and girls who go to bed hungry every night.

What are the causes of obese childhood hunger? Possibilities include:
* They eat all their super-sized meals at 9pm and don't save any for when they go to bed after midnight.
* Bigger fatter people gobble down their food when they go to the toilet to crap out their lunch.
* Poor people are genetically prone to obesity if they go hungry for long periods of time.
* Obese kids starve themselves because they hate being taunted by schoolyard bullies with scathing abuse such as: "Fat, fat, fatter than a water rat!", and "Wide load coming!", and when the fat kids back up they yell "beep, beep, beep".
* They go on a hunger strike to protest the ban on tater tots in the school cafeteria.
* Intense constipation sets in after swallowing a side of beef, causing them to be unwilling to go back downstairs to eat some more.
* They lie down to take a nap, and much like the turtle, they need to roll themselves from side to side to get up. Being unable to, they grow hungrier and hungrier as the night goes on.
* Two fatties find something else to do: each other. Hours of lifting and pulling at their bellies to find their genitals tires them out, making them to weak to crawl to the kitchen for their usual nightly snack of 5 ham sandwiches, a beer, and a can of spreadable cheese that they suck dry.
* They fart the bedroom door close and pass out dazed, but hungry.

The causes of obese childhood hunger are numerous. It's no laughing matter. Fortunately, there are many solutions. Food pantries mainly feed the fat and the poor. Link cards can now be used for hot foods, hence they are being accepted at fast food places that provide empty calories. While this increases obesity, it decreases hunger among the obese at the same time.
Please give your time and money to help little butterballs with big bellies get enough to eat in the hour before they roll their fat asses into bed. Society needs all the help in can get. It takes a village to raise a fatty.
Alex Trebek

United States

#2 May 26, 2013
If you want to help a fat ass kid, stick a fork in the pork before the little Hoover sucks your food down. As an agent for insurance, fat around the heart drives up everyone's costs. Ryans and Hometown Buffet cringe everytime they see a van load of butterballs roll out of the van to plunder what remains of the food inside. The obese hungry hippos put their mouths on the ice cream dispenser, take a fork to each food line, and wonder why someone is bothering to slice the beef.

Obese black kids are forecasted to cause higher watermelon prices and shortages this summer. Obese Asian kids makes every animal shelter from here to Chinatown shudder, and after the puppy and kitten morsels are devoured like skittles, leaving your dog tied up out back is about as dangerous as sitting a box of donuts on the upper belly of a "big boned" first grader. Obese white kids makes a mockery of Steak-n-Shake $4 meals.

How to stamp out childhood obese hunger? Do what the French do? No, not surrender. Let the STDs run rampant in your intestinal track!

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