Rocky River Rec Center-gays/lesbians need not apply as family

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NonPerson

Cleveland, OH

#1 Nov 25, 2007
Just a note to anyone who is gay/lesbian and in a relationship that live in Rocky River: just because you may have voted for and pay taxes to Rocky River, do not expect that they will allow you and your partner to have a 2 person family membership at the new Rec Center.They want your money, but not you apparently. Families are defined as a husband/wife or father/mother. But no gays sorry-we are not wanted here. I am sure there are a lot of people who will say that gay couples should not be allowed family memberships and I will hear some nasty emails from those who feel comfortable discriminating. If you are gay and try to get a family membership be prepared...the person at the desk will have to call a manager...the manager will come down and ask you to fill out a Special Request, and then you will be told that Mike Patterson the director make a decision and you will get a response in 5-7 days. This will not happen however, and you will have to call several times after several weeks and still get no answer. Then you will get a letter in the mail telling you that they will not accept you for a family membership because they are afraid to call you. And if you call, you will be a very nervous Rec Director on the phone telling you they researched other communities and they are sticking to their definition of family. However it seems that they failed to call the YMCA (yes, that would be the Young Men's Christian Association) as they would see that they accept gay/lesbian couples as a family. They told us we could buy individual memberships. Right now I would like to not live and own a home here-it would seem Rocky River would probably like that too.
Courtney

Port Clinton, OH

#2 Nov 26, 2007
I am absolutely appauled by this! It's 2007! Get it together RR I grew up there and just recently moved to Westlake and love it soo much more. I am a straight woman that strongly believes family is defined by love not by gender. Hmm... maybe this story should find it's way to the local news and see what they say?!
Shanon

Wadsworth, OH

#3 Jan 17, 2008
NonPerson wrote:
Just a note to anyone who is gay/lesbian and in a relationship that live in Rocky River: just because you may have voted for and pay taxes to Rocky River, do not expect that they will allow you and your partner to have a 2 person family membership at the new Rec Center.They want your money, but not you apparently. Families are defined as a husband/wife or father/mother. But no gays sorry-we are not wanted here. I am sure there are a lot of people who will say that gay couples should not be allowed family memberships and I will hear some nasty emails from those who feel comfortable discriminating. If you are gay and try to get a family membership be prepared...the person at the desk will have to call a manager...the manager will come down and ask you to fill out a Special Request, and then you will be told that Mike Patterson the director make a decision and you will get a response in 5-7 days. This will not happen however, and you will have to call several times after several weeks and still get no answer. Then you will get a letter in the mail telling you that they will not accept you for a family membership because they are afraid to call you. And if you call, you will be a very nervous Rec Director on the phone telling you they researched other communities and they are sticking to their definition of family. However it seems that they failed to call the YMCA (yes, that would be the Young Men's Christian Association) as they would see that they accept gay/lesbian couples as a family. They told us we could buy individual memberships. Right now I would like to not live and own a home here-it would seem Rocky River would probably like that too.
That is disgusting, shame on Rocky River. You should be emabarrassed, Rocky River ec Director. What is your prblem?! The people in Rocky River need to fight this. Any tax payer who help build that rec center has a right to join as a family. Don't give up. You will find that there is more support than you think whn it comes to fihting discrimination!
Chris

Lexington, KY

#4 Jan 24, 2008
Good for them. Quite whining and thinking the world owes you someting because your gay.
melenie

Cleveland, OH

#5 Jan 24, 2008
If you pay taxes, you should have the same rights. It is not up to Mr Patterson to judge you.

Keep fighting, the best thing to do is to go to the Mayor's office and stand outside her door until she sees you. Make sure she understands your issue and it her problem and you will see results. Also you should contact all councilmen and the law director. You can find all contact information on RRcity.com

Good luck! Dont give up!
NonPerson

Cleveland, OH

#6 Jan 27, 2008
Well Chris, you certainly show where you stand. Funny how the rest of the people posting on this are from the surrounding area but you are out of state. Are you from this area and thus have an interest in the community, which may be why you would choose to write...Or do you go searching for "gay" things on the internet so you can voice throw in your two cents?
I am not "owed" anything because I am gay, I would just like the same benefits that others like myself that are paying taxes for this rec center get. Strange how you would see it as whining.
Frank

Cleveland, OH

#7 Jan 31, 2008
Gimme a break. Just pay the individual membership and quit your friggin whining...and if you can't afford, get a real job...it's only $225 a year. I suppose you want to raise kids too!
NonPerson

Cleveland, OH

#8 Mar 29, 2008
Frank,
Since you have a a "real job" and make so much money, why don't you give a poor sole like me the money so I can quit whining.
My only hope is that I happen to get your kid in my class so I can instill tolerance and kindness in their heart as it would seem to be lacking at home.
Whoever

Cleveland, OH

#9 Apr 11, 2008
The solution is to charge like the cruise lines do...you know, a cabin must be booked for two people. Otherwise, singles pay a "supplement" (basically double) to the cruiseline. So, individuals must join the rec ctr as a two person "family" and sign up whoever they want, be it their spouse, lover, neighbor, or babysitter (or noone). Now, that reinforces the notion that family, and however you define it, is important!

If you think this sounds stupid, then why stop your argument with gays / lesbians. Shucks, I had a live-in girlfriend for 4 years. Noone anywhere ever offered a family rate to us? Can you see a potential revolt brewing from "all flavors" of single folks?

While were at it, don't stop at universal healthcare...keep going! Universal daycare, universal fitness memberships, universal lawncare, universal drycleaning.

Enjoy your summer off!
Lakewood resident

United States

#10 May 1, 2008
Shame on Rocky River and the bigot from Ky. with the hateful self-righteous attitude. No one questions the validity of unmarried heterosexual families so why would there even be a question of whether a same gender couple, with or without kids, is a family? Its nothing but homophobia and bigotry. And no, I am not gay but I believe in human rights. Gays should not be discriminated against and it must be stopped. Rocky River needs to wake up.
Pleasantville Redux

Cleveland, OH

#11 Apr 15, 2009
Lakewood resident wrote:
Shame on Rocky River and the bigot from Ky. with the hateful self-righteous attitude. No one questions the validity of unmarried heterosexual families so why would there even be a question of whether a same gender couple, with or without kids, is a family? Its nothing but homophobia and bigotry. And no, I am not gay but I believe in human rights. Gays should not be discriminated against and it must be stopped. Rocky River needs to wake up.
Can't say that I am surprised by the egregious treatment you received at the Rec Center. While exceptions clearly exist, this is a community that seems to revel in their homogeneity and to be absolutely frightened by anything - or any one - who doesn't conform to their suburban, "Pleasantville-esque " view of the "good life." Good for whom is the key question, though.
Keep your head up and keep fighting... consider taking this to the West Life paper and DO GO PUBLIC!!
Beajay

Cleveland, OH

#12 Apr 21, 2009
I just can not belive in this day and age that people are still treated so unfairly. I am not gay, I have been married for 20 yrs. However I have many gay friends as does my children. I think everyone should have the same rights. Gays should not be discriminated against and a guy couple should have the same rights as I and my husband do.
Kristen

Cleveland, OH

#13 Apr 22, 2009
I am a Rocky River resident and it is so pathetic that they are not able to make this exception. Thier is so much I love about this city, but one thing that I don't is it's homogeneous nature. I am a mother of three and welcome diversity whether it be race or sexual orientation. Lame, lame, lame!!
simmy

Cleveland, OH

#14 Jul 26, 2009
can a brother and sister join as a couple, and if not, why?
Mike M

Westlake, OH

#15 Aug 10, 2009
I think that the gay community should help the rec center come up with a solution.
The problem might be that it would be impossible to prevent non-gay "Couples" from taking advantage of the discount.
If a guy brings his buddy and they pretend to be gay just to get the discount - it would be impossible to challenge their claim.
Maybe the gay and lesbian community should register with the city as a gay couple for situations like this. The club can then check the registration.
Problem solved...
I doubt this is an anti-gay policy.
RockyRiverRecCen terMember

Cleveland, OH

#16 Aug 20, 2009
Maybe the rec center has a policy against blacks too. I have to take my child to play dates in other communities so he doesn't go off to college one day and realize not everyone in the world is straight and white. And yes, Mike. It probably is an anti-gay policy. Un-written of course...
BB from River

Cleveland, OH

#17 Jan 4, 2010
Hi there all! I have lived here in River all my life and think it is terrible that this couple is not recognized as a family! I hope that the city government can see the error in this way of thinking after reading all of these supportive blogs! River is a great place to live and raise your family...unfortunately its city government is a "good ol" boys club" that is far behind the times we live in! I am a firm believer that tides do in fact change and these old timers will be replaced by younger --more liberal counterparts! Good luck with your fight!
Roger

Strongsville, OH

#18 Jan 9, 2010
cant even put into the words the thoughts running athrough my head.sorry there is a defined family is this cruel world.Im glad to see someone stand up for their values and rules as they are established,instead of bending toevery whiner in society.
Roger

Strongsville, OH

#19 Jan 9, 2010
thank you again rocky river!
long time RR resident

Cleveland, OH

#20 Jan 17, 2010
"NonPerson", as a long time RR resident, hang in there as times are a changing.
Roger from North Royalton, please stay in North Royalton.

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