Long hair is a burden both husband, w...

Long hair is a burden both husband, wife should bare

There are 114 comments on the Chicago Tribune story from Feb 3, 2009, titled Long hair is a burden both husband, wife should bare. In it, Chicago Tribune reports that:

DEAR ABBY: I disagree with your advice to "Short and Trendy in West Texas " , whose husband thinks she went against him by cutting her long hair short.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at Chicago Tribune.

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sleekstreet

Woodridge, IL

#1 Feb 3, 2009
I once had a girlfriend who cut off her long hair, not because she said it was a hassle for her, but because she got mad at me one day for something petty (like, I didn't wash the dishes that day or something like that).

I broke up with her shortly after that, simply because I recognized at that moment her passive-aggressive behavior. I refused to be in a relationship with someone like that.
Stephanie in Budapest

Székesfehérvár, Hungary

#2 Feb 3, 2009
Who writes the Chicago Trib's headlines? Both should "bare" this burden? Good grief.

Re: hair. Hair should not be used as a weapon. Unless it's in the pre-nup that wife will not cut her hair short, wife's hair is her own. It's not like there aren't other physical changes that occur over the years of marriage - for both parties. Should a wife get a divorce because husband's hair fell out and that's not what she signed on for? Puh-leeze! If the hair was the only reason for the marriage, then it probably should be cut. Just my two cents.
MaryAnn

United States

#3 Feb 3, 2009
Usually a staff person (i.e. not an editor or person of authority) writes the headlines, I think.

I liked this column because there were a variety of ways people handled this issue. And, Stephanie, I think most all of them had your sentiment- it's the woman's choice.
Stephanie in Budapest wrote:
Who writes the Chicago Trib's headlines? Both should "bare" this burden? Good grief.
Re: hair. Hair should not be used as a weapon. Unless it's in the pre-nup that wife will not cut her hair short, wife's hair is her own. It's not like there aren't other physical changes that occur over the years of marriage - for both parties. Should a wife get a divorce because husband's hair fell out and that's not what she signed on for? Puh-leeze! If the hair was the only reason for the marriage, then it probably should be cut. Just my two cents.
Daria

United States

#4 Feb 3, 2009
I've endured boyfriends with the most horrible hairstyles--mullet, perm, crew cut, comb-over to name a few--and never said a word. Their hair, their choice.

Believe me, the perm was hard to take.:)

“Snow days!”

Since: Nov 08

A winter wonderland

#5 Feb 3, 2009
Believe me, the perm was hard to take.:) >>
Thanks, Daria, for the mental image of my boss after he got a perm & dyed the grey back to brown. Too bad he forgot to do the sideburns & chest hair. It was truly awful.

My husband likes my long hair. So do I, as I look stupid with short hair. Yeah, it's a pain, but I've had it like this every since the mistake of giving in to a hot summer day & having it all cut off. I looked like a baseball head. And noone complains about the grey.
MessyONE

Bloomington, IL

#6 Feb 3, 2009
Hair has never been an issue with The Boy. I generally keep it short because I just refuse to waste time messing with it. I've also noticed over the years that women who keep their hair long and straight because it's "versatile" all wear the same tired old ponytail.

I think if he obsessed about something as trivial as my hair length, I wouldn't have married him in the first place. As it is, he wouldn't care if I shaved my head (but he would definitely have a comment or two to make). He married a person, not a "look".
Ivory Dove

San Antonio, TX

#7 Feb 3, 2009
IN loving memory of the late Linda McCartney on the Ram album:
"Well, well, well, well, well,
Do you love me like you know you ought to do
well, well, well, well , well,
or is this the only thin you want me for?

Well, I've been meaning to talk to you about it
for some time:
Sweet little lass you are my long-haired lady...."
Dmaul

Fort Huachuca, AZ

#8 Feb 3, 2009
Andie J wrote:
Believe me, the perm was hard to take.:) >>
Thanks, Daria, for the mental image of my boss after he got a perm & dyed the grey back to brown. Too bad he forgot to do the sideburns & chest hair. It was truly awful.
Tell your boss to put a shirt on!
isn't there a dress code where you work, or is your boss David Hasslehoff?
Don't mess with the Hoff, or no overtime for you!!

Dm
too old

Springfield, IL

#9 Feb 3, 2009
The only perspective worth reading was that last one...

“Snow days!”

Since: Nov 08

A winter wonderland

#10 Feb 3, 2009
Dmaul wrote:
<quoted text>
Tell your boss to put a shirt on!
isn't there a dress code where you work, or is your boss David Hasslehoff?
Don't mess with the Hoff, or no overtime for you!!
Dm
Oh, this was way back in the '70s. You know, several shirt buttons open, gold chains, yadda yadda.
Melissa

Chicago, IL

#11 Feb 3, 2009
I once knew a young couple where the husband would not let his young wife (my co-worker) cut her waist-length hair. Finally she was fed up with it and cut it to shoulder-length. He immediately became impotent. What a loser....

“An Apple a day”

Since: Jun 08

nil carborundum illegitemi

#12 Feb 3, 2009
Gag!!
Rosalita

West Bloomfield, MI

#13 Feb 3, 2009
My hair was long for many years. At one point it was down to my waist. It was very thick. Even when it was shoulder length, it took way too long to dry it.
But there were three additional problems with it:
1. It got caught in the shower drain.
2. I had to cut it out of the vacuum cleaner each time I vacuumed.
3. The dog would swallow it.
Kuuipo

Marina, CA

#14 Feb 3, 2009
I have always preferred my hair long and I don't find it difficult to take care of or style. In fact, I think it is more versatile than short hair because I have the option of pinning it up. However, a good friend who has also always had long hair cut hers VERY short a few years ago. She looks adorable with short hair and her husband is fine with it. It shouldn't be a relationship deal-breaker.
smtymty

New Kent, VA

#15 Feb 3, 2009
Anyone consider that he wants her to have long hair because of the sexist idea that girls have long hair, boys have short? I had a male acquaintance "compliment" my short hair even though short hair is for guys (actually, he also said for lesbians, but that's another track altogether).

Since: Jan 09

Location hidden

#16 Feb 3, 2009
Abby didn't even understand what LW1 was saying. He agreed that men who want their wives to have long hair need to be part of the solution, by doing more work around the house to free up the woman's time for hair duty. Duh.

Abby & Amy are both completely clueless today!
Uncle Fester

United States

#17 Feb 3, 2009
sleekstreet wrote:
I once had a girlfriend who cut off her long hair, not because she said it was a hassle for her, but because she got mad at me one day for something petty (like, I didn't wash the dishes that day or something like that).
I broke up with her shortly after that, simply because I recognized at that moment her passive-aggressive behavior. I refused to be in a relationship with someone like that.
Did she let you keep the hair?
Hair Down to There

Chicago, IL

#20 Feb 3, 2009
Melissa wrote:
I once knew a young couple where the husband would not let his young wife (my co-worker) cut her waist-length hair. Finally she was fed up with it and cut it to shoulder-length. He immediately became impotent. What a loser....
Impotent? Not according to his long-haired mistress.
Count Wackula

United States

#22 Feb 3, 2009
smtymty wrote:
Anyone consider that he wants her to have long hair because of the sexist idea that girls have long hair, boys have short? I had a male acquaintance "compliment" my short hair even though short hair is for guys (actually, he also said for lesbians, but that's another track altogether).
He's complimenting you because he is VERY confused sexually, and he wants to sleep with you but pretend you're a boy at the same time....hence his love of your "boy cut".
Cathy

Somerset, WI

#26 Feb 3, 2009
I am sick of everyone saying that short hair is easier than long hair. It all depends on the person and the hair that person has. As far as I am concerned Long hair can look better than short hair in less time. I have long hair now and put it in a bun in less than a minute, in the summer, I put it in a bun wet and by evening I have curls and a new look when I take it down. I know more friends that have short hair and spend time curling it and going for haircuts. I get two trims a year, saving time and money and many comments on how pretty my hair is.

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