men buying women gifts

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feels bad for friend

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#1
Apr 7, 2013
 

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I'm going to vent a little, and feedback is appreciated but only serious comments. I called a friend a little while ago because I was out of town on her special day. I ask what the guy that's been, I guess dating her had been treating her,she said good. I ask if he had spoiled her and got her any gifts. She told me a couple things,and I just lost it! Like dollar store couple of things. I had tried warning her when she started talking to this guy ,how he was because I know his ex wife and she's told me exactly how he is. My guy and I have been together for 4 years and when he buys me stuff it's very nice,thoughtful,a lot of times expensive things,flowers to surprise me on a bad day to cheer me up. My question is,should she not know it's ok to expect nice things when gifted? I do! I mean I don't expect my guy to buy me a new car every year or diamonds every week but if he got me dollar store stuff we would not have worked out. I can't get my friend to wake up and see she deserves better. I don't honestly know how he treats her I've never been around him but he can't be much if that is how cheap he treats her. These are not crestwood circle type of people. In the beginning and I tried warning her how his ex wife says he is all my friend would say is sure she's going to say bad stuff she's his ex wife..... you real men would you treat your lady like that? I know my friend doesn't feel she deserves better but she does. She's a wonderful person and I don't know if I should keep trying to get her to wakeup and get away now or what. I don't want her mad at me but she deserves more and better
my opinion

Branson, MO

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#3
Apr 7, 2013
 

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If he treats her well who cares about gifts? Some guys just aren't very good gift givers, planners etc. I'd much rather have a guy who treated me well every day than an a-hole who bought me awesome gifts.
speakin the truth

Vienna, MO

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#5
Apr 7, 2013
 

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I agree if a person is good to their spouse then it doesn't matter what kind of gifts they can buy. That is a very selfish statement. I always had a man who couldn't afford to buy me gifts because we have bills, but he does extra special stuff for me on my day! He's there with me and let's me know he loves me. That should be enough for anyone
feels bad for a friend

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#6
Apr 7, 2013
 

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You people are so much help,,just jump to bash. I'm trying to make her see she's deserves better,she deserves more but you all would rather start bashing me. Why I ever moved back here is beyond me!
eh really

Hurst, TX

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#7
Apr 7, 2013
 

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Maybe he is not in the position to buy her expensive or numerous gifts. Maybe she is happy just knowing he thought about her. Not all women need gifts to be happy. Not all women need or expect high dollar gifts. If your friend is happy, butt out. Who are you to tell her her boyfriend is not good enough? Flowers are a nice gesture, but the sentiment wears off if you get them all the time or when you begin to expect them. Maybe I am simple, but I am happy.
Kkelly

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#8
Apr 7, 2013
 

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I'd take a hand written letter over an expensive gift any day.
feels bad for a friend

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#9
Apr 8, 2013
 

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Can you people not read? I didn't say expensive gifts and flowers all the time! I said buying her something nice instead of dollar store items on special occasions I didn't say expect flowers all the the, a surprise one in a while,, did I not?? No way does she deserve what she's getting in a whole lot of ways. Do you women around here not feel you deserve more?
my opinion

Branson, MO

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#10
Apr 8, 2013
 

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feels bad for a friend wrote:
Can you people not read? I didn't say expensive gifts and flowers all the time! I said buying her something nice instead of dollar store items on special occasions I didn't say expect flowers all the the, a surprise one in a while,, did I not?? No way does she deserve what she's getting in a whole lot of ways. Do you women around here not feel you deserve more?
Calm down, no one is bashing you. Look, some people put a large emphasis on gifts and going all out to celebrate never ending 'special' occasions.... and that is fine. Others could care less about that stuff. The way I see it I can go buy myself flowers, jewelry or whatever else I want. I appreciate when my husband buys me a great gift or flowers, especially when it is unexpected. However some of the best gifts he has bought me where the inexpensive but most thoughtful ones versus the $1000 worth of jewelery or the new car...not that I didn't love those too. As someone who has been married for 10+ years the best gift my husband gives me is by treating me well and being an equal partner on a daily basis. I'll take respect and love over gifts any day!

How old are you and your friend? Maybe the age difference and the life experiences (marriage, kids, divorce etc) of us posters has something to do with the huge difference of opinion.
haha

Squires, MO

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#11
Apr 8, 2013
 

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goldigggers= women think there special because they have breast's and a butt but lack any type of thinking capacity past the word merle norman.
feels bad for a friend

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#12
Apr 8, 2013
 

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OK badgers,here's the story. Ex wife told me a couple years ago this guy is childish and selfish and plays sweet but has temper issues and she truly thinks mental issues. No matter what the price if he wants it and can't jew someone on the price he gets it anyway because it's for him and he never bought her nice things but when he did happen to buy her something from the nickle and dime store he expected praise and pay back. My friend has never been spoiled by a man she sets and watches the women she knows be spoiled and pampered and I Do Not mean spoiled and pampered every day or week! She deserves that! You women if your honest know how good it makes you feel and can turn a bad time into a happy special time! You men that keep making the comments running down women are surely single or should be. Yes there are women only outfor what they can get from a guy but there are many many men like that towards women also. I had forgotten how bad it is back here and how men treat women like a possession or trash or worth nothing. I don't even tell her anymore when my guy gets me something or me with something because she tries to act happy but I know it has to hurt. Thank you west plainians for all your kind words
Bill Bo

Sparta, MO

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#13
Apr 8, 2013
 

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I never buy my wife gifts....what's the point in wasting money on shit that's just going to sit around on a shelf or wilt and die.

I guess my wife got lucky because of my amazingly large hereditary "gift" that was passed to me though genetics....Thanks mom and dad!!

Why do some women feel they deserve gifts of possession? Gifts of love...and making love go a lot further than gifts of possession.
Lauren Mcguire

London, UK

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#14
Monday Jun 30
 
My husband loves to purchase gifts for me but don't know my taste. Always they purchased some cheap and useless gifts, then I disappoint very much. Our store is full of useless gifts, But I didn't disappoint my husband, I accept the gift and place it any where in the home. I love my husband.
Appreciates Women

West Plains, MO

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#15
Monday Jun 30
 
When my wife and I started dating nearly 25 years ago we didn't have much money, but I believe in showing a woman how much she means to me so I would pick her a bouquet on my way home every day. Even after the flowers stopped blooming I would still bring her a little trinket every day just so she would know I had been thinking about her all day. Then every payday I would stop at a little boutique and buy her something I thought she would like just because my girl deserves to be spoiled. I also brought her coffee in bed every morning for the first 3 years and still bring her breakfast in bed every Sunday. After we started having good money coming in I made a point of buying her one Christmas present to represent each year we were married. I still do that to this day and I try to make each one something she will adore and treasure. Life is fragile and I always want her to know that I don't know what I would do without her. I still bring her trinkets, every day. But, no, I've never bought them at the Dollar General Store. My gifts are always thoughtful and an expression of how I feel about her, not simply because it was convenient. Not much thought goes into convenient.
U R Cluless

West Plains, MO

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#16
Monday Jun 30
 
Bill Bo wrote:
I never buy my wife gifts....what's the point in wasting money on shit that's just going to sit around on a shelf or wilt and die.
I guess my wife got lucky because of my amazingly large hereditary "gift" that was passed to me though genetics....Thanks mom and dad!!
Why do some women feel they deserve gifts of possession? Gifts of love...and making love go a lot further than gifts of possession.
I had a man with a huge "gift" and he was so arrogant and full of himself that he thought that was all I needed and I should appreciate him just for that! He also cheated and hung at the bar late at night. So, technically for those reasons he was a major "gift" himself and treated me like $hit. I put up with him for 10 years but he never changed is arrogant attitude so I kicked his "gift" to the curb and got me a sweet and gentle man who appreciates me and treats me like a queen. He takes good care of me, stays home and buys me pretty things. He only has a little "gift" but that is not anything a real woman would care about. We still have a great time together and it's better then with my ex because he is more concerned with me then himself. As for your "gift", you forget a big "gift" can be kept in a dresser drawer and pulled out at any time and it never fails or is arrogant and mean. Plus, it never cheats. Just in case you haven't already figured it out, most women keep a big "gift" in their night stand. They just don't tell men about it because they have a fragile ego and think this means they aren't doing a good job. Actually, how good you are is irrelavent. All women enjoy alone time.
honest

United States

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#17
Monday Jun 30
 

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Every woman deserves to be spoiled,, well most do. If she's a good LADY, kind hearted, loving, cares for and about others, gives all of herself in caring for her children, takes care of others,,then she deserves to be spoiled instead of being the one setting with a smile as she watches the women around her being treated this way, and spoiled by the guy who says he loves her,, and no I'm not referring to the ones who go after guy after guy for all the monetary things they can get. Sadly it seems those women are the ones who get away with doing that,and get all they want then move on when they get a glimpse of a guy,any guy who has potential to have access to a good bank account. Funny how many single women in this town look for business owners,,don't matter what they look like,how they act etc, just knowing he has a business make that register sound start going off in their head then he doesn't look so bad and is tolerable in most any way..... but there are a few very good ladies in this town who deserve it all, yet they don't go out scouting for it/him.
honest

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#18
Monday Jun 30
 

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And guys don't take junk, or the cheapest thing you can find,or used stuff,or stuff someone was going to throw away or found and take it to your girl, whether she shows it or not it's a little insulting, and makes you look cheap and like a tight wad. If you want to win her heart show her she's worth only the very best.
Sounds Like A Hater

West Plains, MO

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#19
Tuesday Jul 1
 
haha wrote:
goldigggers= women think there special because they have breast's and a butt but lack any type of thinking capacity past the word merle norman.
Sounds like a woman hater to me. I pitty any woman who is unlucky enough to wind up with you. Women deserve men who adore them, not knock them down and belittle them. Most women I know are far more intelligent then men. And,, for the record, they do control the sex.
No kidding

Enola, AR

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#20
Tuesday Jul 1
 

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U R Cluless wrote:
<quoted text>
I had a man with a huge "gift" and he was so arrogant and full of himself that he thought that was all I needed and I should appreciate him just for that! He also cheated and hung at the bar late at night. So, technically for those reasons he was a major "gift" himself and treated me like $hit. I put up with him for 10 years but he never changed is arrogant attitude so I kicked his "gift" to the curb and got me a sweet and gentle man who appreciates me and treats me like a queen. He takes good care of me, stays home and buys me pretty things. He only has a little "gift" but that is not anything a real woman would care about. We still have a great time together and it's better then with my ex because he is more concerned wit
h me then himself. As for your "gift", you forget a big "gift" can be kept in a dresser drawer and pulled out at any time and it never fails or is arrogant and mean. Plus, it never cheats. Just in case you haven't already figured it out, most women keep a big "gift" in their night stand. They just don't tell men about it because they have a fragile ego and think this means they aren't doing a good job. Actually, how good you are is irrelavent. All women enjoy alone time.
Hey! I know a guy like that! He has a big truck too!! Thinks he is hot sh*t!!
haha

United States

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#21
Tuesday Jul 1
 
haha wrote:
Gravediggers= ugly men who get insecure, naive, fat women to buy their white vans, take women's houses to pay their debts off, and then beat them to pay them back, then get another woman to pay the attorney.
Wow!
no sht

United States

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#22
Tuesday Jul 1
 

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My friend's mom has a guy after her that brings her stuff that other people are throwing away,and instead of buying her flowers picks the ones along dirt roads and I've watched him bring em in like he deserves her to just go Oh ma gosh Oh ma gosh you didn't have to get me weeds along the dirt road honey . Naw man I'd never treat a lady like that especially one as great as she is. I've come to the conclusion he's either a real tight wad or dim wit. I'm only 17 but dudes seriously ya don't buy a lady fake gold and fake diamonds and pull weeds by abandoned buildings, that's just wrong

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