Nude Photos/ girly pics

Posted in the West Plains Forum

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Confused

United States

#1 Apr 26, 2013
If I am in a long term relationship and engaged to be married, and I am the 'love of this man's life', tell me why he keeps pictures of other girls, boob shots from other girls, and nudey pictures that sluts have sent him in the past, all on his phone? I have told him several times how they piss me off and hurt me, and he just blows it off like its no big deal. To me it is a big deal, and he thinks that is just silly. I know men love pictures and are more visually stimulated than women are. If it were Pamela Anderson, that would be one thing, but they are people he knows personally, from his past. How should I take this? I am considering calling off the wedding, because to me, it is just wrong and really confuses me.
Answer Man

West Plains, MO

#2 Apr 26, 2013
Safety net.....if he deletes them, and things do not work out with you, they are gone forever. As a man, my guess is that he will feel comfortable enough one day if the relationship is good to just delete them, and feel good about it. I am sure pressuring or forcing him to do it will just cause resentment if things go bad. Just decide if you can live with it or not would be my advice. Its like a 7 year old not using his blanky at night, but still keeping it in the closet just in case....there will come a natural point in time that he will get rid of childish things.
no expert

West Plains, MO

#3 Apr 26, 2013
Well im no expert but it doesn't sound like a very good man to me! If he can't respect you in regards to something like that what makes you think he will respect you with anything else in the future. Respect is equally as important as trust! Make the decision you feel is best for you and your future. I just don't think that if someone really loved another they wouldn't disrespect their significant other especially when it comes to things like that. If it were me I would tell him either the pics or me you choose!
KJP

West Plains, MO

#4 Apr 26, 2013
Flush his phone down the toilet and when he is looking for it act dumb like you havn't seen it then sign a pre-nup before you get hitched because no real man would keep these pics if it pisses you off. Then kick him in the balls and show him who is boss. Then call the cops so he will be on paper and if you ever need to find the sneaky bastard the police can help locate. Then I would check out his best man because this could be the instigator. Then I would call all these women and tell them send one more pic to your husbands phone you will post the pics on the internet under the web page called skanks are us. Or tell your daddy or brother and let them have a talk with him.
cheater

Montréal, Canada

#5 Apr 26, 2013
You best end it now, little bessie. The trust is gone, his lust is on. if this joker isn't even smart enough to put the images on a separate disk in the case he needs them someday, then he's not smart enough to stay with and marry. ending it now is the best thing you could ever do for yourself. i can promise you that he is showing these pictures to his buddies and bragging about the dirty things he did with those girls. do you think he tells them he loves you? he is still fantasizing about these girls and probably whacking off to them.
Confused

Sparta, MO

#6 Apr 26, 2013
Thank you for the replies, especially you, Answer Man. I am going with that. He is very respectful in every way, except for this one thing. He just laughs and says it's a 'Dude Thing'. I doubt he has any idea how it hurts me, and I do trust him which is why this one thing never made sense to me. I needed a male perspective, thank you.
devils darkness

Los Angeles, CA

#7 Apr 26, 2013
Confused wrote:
Thank you for the replies, especially you, Answer Man. I am going with that. He is very respectful in every way, except for this one thing. He just laughs and says it's a 'Dude Thing'. I doubt he has any idea how it hurts me, and I do trust him which is why this one thing never made sense to me. I needed a male perspective, thank you.
well girls u well never be able to put ur man on a leash, so they way i see it, if u dont trust him leave him and if he loves u enough he well do it! But keep on naggen him and well do i need to say and more?? Women grow up get a life this ain t no barbie doll life!!# that means saddle up and grit up and show him what kinda women u r !!!!!
potty mouth

Ozark, MO

#8 Apr 26, 2013
Confused wrote:
If I am in a long term relationship and engaged to be married, and I am the 'love of this man's life', tell me why he keeps pictures of other girls, boob shots from other girls, and nudey pictures that sluts have sent him in the past, all on his phone? I have told him several times how they piss me off and hurt me, and he just blows it off like its no big deal. To me it is a big deal, and he thinks that is just silly. I know men love pictures and are more visually stimulated than women are. If it were Pamela Anderson, that would be one thing, but they are people he knows personally, from his past. How should I take this? I am considering calling off the wedding, because to me, it is just wrong and really confuses me.
Just a word of advice , if this man (REALLY) loves you he wouldn't have his past life nude pictures on the phone . I know many people anymore have forgotten what Respect is and to me this is dis-restful I wouldn't do this to my partner . You could try trashing the phone but all you will do is since your obviously not good enough for him or his only treasured one so trashing and smashing it won't solve anything he will just do whatever behind your back . People what's wrong with telling her the truth , she is with a loser , it doesn't make you controlling to destroy the phone but I will make a million dollar bet it will backfire . Let him go , if you have any self confidence you should know you can get so much better then trash , not all guys are greedy pigs who only care about themselves and wack off while your not around to past women in his life. What makes you think since this man is obviously proud of the racks he took pictures of if you two start having issues ,(MARRIED OR NOT) what makes you think if he happened to run into one of these girls he wouldn't bang them ? Marriage ( FORSAKING ((( ALLLLL)) OTHERS ). You should be his only one . No matter what .
yep

Ozark, MO

#9 Apr 26, 2013
Answer Man wrote:
Safety net.....if he deletes them, and things do not work out with you, they are gone forever. As a man, my guess is that he will feel comfortable enough one day if the relationship is good to just delete them, and feel good about it. I am sure pressuring or forcing him to do it will just cause resentment if things go bad. Just decide if you can live with it or not would be my advice. Its like a 7 year old not using his blanky at night, but still keeping it in the closet just in case....there will come a natural point in time that he will get rid of childish things.
Agreed. It's similar to women having a 'memory box' of various momentos from past relationships. However I do believe that she shouldn't marry him until the pictures are deleted.... not by threats but of his own free will. No one deserves to be married to someone who isn't 100% all in... that means no memory box or nudie pics of people you personally know. If you have one foot out the door just in case or a back up plan your relationship is doomed to fail.
just me

United States

#10 Apr 26, 2013
My first question is how old are you,and how old is he?
imo

Ozark, MO

#11 Apr 27, 2013
I wonder if he has any pics of you confused?? Thats kinda weird if you ask me cuz you are just opening a door for future failure. If my wife seen nude pics on my phone i would be gone in a heartbeat but since i know how she feels about it there is no way i would do that! Which i prob wouldn't do anyway but im just saying..........stop it now or next move might be him looking at women when your married and that will cause some issues.. guaranteed !
been there

United States

#12 Apr 27, 2013
If you are his true love, and all he wants, then ONLY ONE HE WANTS then having pictures of other females on his phone is totally 200% unacceptable! Trust me if the tables were turned he sure as hell wouldn't put up with it. This is just a sign of worse things down the road. I know it hurts but that's the reality.
ButtHurt

Branson, MO

#13 Apr 27, 2013
I need some advise and help sense you all are so giving to this idiot girl who wants to marry a pervert. I have a pimple on my butt that I can't reach and it's got a black tip on it and hurts like hell. I have reached and reached but can't sqweeze it tight enough to pop it and drain all the white thick gunk thats in it. Can anyone of you come over and sqweeze this pimple for me or tell me what you would do.
Confused

Sparta, MO

#14 Apr 29, 2013
I am in my late thirties, he is in his forties. He has lots of pictures of me as well, but I am fully clothed and being a lady. They aren't pictures I sent to him either, they are pictures he took of me.
my opinion

Ozark, MO

#15 Apr 29, 2013
You have to tell him that you want to speak to a counselor about this situation before marrying him. The fact that you have told him that it hurts you that he has the pictures and he does not care is a huge red flag. Sure it may seem like nothing to him but if something you do hurts your partner you don't do it... period. You HAVE to resolve this before getting married. It will only fester - leading to resentment, anger and pain. Plus this man is showing you his lack of ability to compromise, it's going to be his way or no way.

Have you already set a date? Have either of you been married before? Doesn't affect my advice I am just curious.
Confused

Sparta, MO

#16 Apr 29, 2013
No, we have not set a date, and I think the advice is very good to NOT get married until this is resolved. I don't want any kind of 'cloudy area' or any doubt if I should re-marry. I am not going to call off our engagement at this point, until I see what happens with the photos, but this will have to be cleared up before taking vows. I feel like I could throw an absolute fit and he would delete them, but I have voiced my opinion and told him they upset me and figured that would be enough, but it wasn't. I don't want to have to FORCE him, I figure it is something he should want to do. We both come from a failed marriage, but they were years and years ago, and we have been together a little over two years now.
Answer Man

West Plains, MO

#17 Apr 29, 2013
Thanks Confused....if you really want to press the issue, ask him if he would mind if another man had photos of you like that on their phone....this might give him a different perspective and bring this to a quicker conclusion for you.
Confused

Sparta, MO

#18 Apr 29, 2013
Answer Man- you would be a great couselour! I appreciate you taking the time to give great advice to a complete stranger.
Answer Man

West Plains, MO

#19 Apr 29, 2013
Thanks...I think I would make a better Advice Columnist than counselor, because my sarcasm would be better tolerated.
notice

Los Angeles, CA

#20 Apr 29, 2013
Answer Man wrote:
Thanks...I think I would make a better Advice Columnist than counselor, because my sarcasm would be better tolerated.
shes not a stranger her name is michelle mattes abbott she uses every name she can and says its not her?beleave me she ll stop at nothing !!

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