my child is being pushed around what ...

my child is being pushed around what can I do?

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mia

Branson, MO

#1 Apr 5, 2012
I have a teen child who is getting mean hurtful text and pushed around. I'm feeling helpless. My child doesn't want me to go to the police or call the other child's parent.( Parent acts the same as the kid) what do I do? I can see this getting ugly. I'm very stressed can't sleep. Please help me.
To Mia

Branson, MO

#2 Apr 5, 2012
Is it possible that you all can change schools? You should as well change your kids number . Its to bad that a lot of parents are lowering their selves to be like their kids so their kids will except them better . I just don't get why parents have changed so much with in the last twenty years . Its really sad . Now days parents drink with their kids , smoke with their kids , lets the opposite sex sleep over , start trouble in the neighborhood with their kids you name it . I see it going on a lot in this town . Its to bad you all could't possibly move away from this God forsake place . What ever happen to parents having the backbone to stand up for whats right ? Sheesh I swear its getting bad . I am sorry this is going on . Make sure you and your son have a great communication so if he starts getting physical threats you make sure no matter what to have the law involved and make sure to do everything you can to be there for your child . Suicidal rates are going up with kids because of depression and nonstop crap they have to deal with, with being picked on . I just don't get it . So many Jealous people is one of the faults of being picked on and teased and pure pressure if you don't go along with your so called friends to break someone down then they fear being outed by so called friends . A true friend would never pressure anyone to hurt someone else . Hang in there Mom .
Panda express

Branson, MO

#3 Apr 5, 2012
Mom if this has been going on for a while now sounds to me you need to take your son to some type of boxing class or martial arts and let them teach him how to break open a can of old fashion whoop arse . If that kid was scared of him I promise all the drama will stop . Seriously . If the parents are going along with all of their childs doing and won't train their kid to respect , let your son take matters in his own hands . Sorry to say that's the times we are living in .
Shelli

United States

#5 Apr 5, 2012
Save all messages and document anything else that happens---verbal threats, physical attacks, date, time, witnesses. I know your kid doesn't want anyone else involved but I would notify the school admin verbally and in writing (have it sent by registered mail) and tell the school officer too. You have then covered yourself if something happens at school (your child gets hurt you have legal recourse) Please don't wait until it is too late. Contact juvie and let them know what is going on. And change your child's number.
Hmm

Canada

#6 Apr 5, 2012
I'm a student teacher (internship) at a local school and I absolutely hate the fact that bullying exists. I'm not a parent so I cannot relate to your personal situation, but maybe I can help.

I'm sure it is really hard since your child doesn't want you to talk to anyone about it. However, I think it is important that you remain PROACTIVE about this. The pain of bullying really lasts for a lifetime - I STILL remember the name of a guy in school who asked me if I should drink skim instead of 2% milk because I was around 15 pounds overweight. You HAVE to do something. Explain to your child that most bullies have serious emotional issues...they're the ones with the problems! Bullies are practically begging for help and that is why their behavior is out of control! However, it is NEVER okay to 1) treat someone like that or 2) let someone treat you like that.

I would consider closely monitoring all cell phone and Internet activity (all phone companies have parental controls). In the meantime, I would schedule an appointment for school administration, their parent, a counselor, and yourself. This needs to be discussed in a formal environment for documentation.

One approach a parent of my student took was to text the child back, "This is _______'s mother. Your texts are very inappropriate and hurtful. Even if you do not like _______, you do not need to say hateful things. We are documenting everything you have sent and everything you say." Trust me, that girl was never bothered again! I also know one of my students' told his bully that his father was a cop even though he really isn't...never heard from that bully again either.

The point is to remain proactive! You should be proud your child came to you...most don't!

“ Dump Obama November 6, 2012”

Since: Jan 11

Flush it.

#7 Apr 6, 2012
mia wrote:
I have a teen child who is getting mean hurtful text and pushed around. I'm feeling helpless. My child doesn't want me to go to the police or call the other child's parent.( Parent acts the same as the kid) what do I do? I can see this getting ugly. I'm very stressed can't sleep. Please help me.
Send them to martial arts school. After two or more years of hard work they can take care of this on their own.
Wonder Why

Ozark, MO

#8 Apr 6, 2012
Teens with cell phones. Is this even necessary? Maybe it's time to re-evaluate why any teenager "MUST" have a cell phone. They seem to lead to far more trouble than they are worth.
I don't have a clue about who Mia is or her child, but I wonder if the whole situation could be avoided or resolved by simply suspending the "privilege"?

“ Dump Obama November 6, 2012”

Since: Jan 11

Flush it.

#9 Apr 6, 2012
Wonder Why wrote:
Teens with cell phones. Is this even necessary? Maybe it's time to re-evaluate why any teenager "MUST" have a cell phone. They seem to lead to far more trouble than they are worth.
I don't have a clue about who Mia is or her child, but I wonder if the whole situation could be avoided or resolved by simply suspending the "privilege"?
If people want a cell for their kids safety Thats not a bad idea. There are cell phones that are made for kids. They will only call numbers that are programed into them by mom or dad and will call 911.
HUH

Canada

#10 Apr 6, 2012
Have your child block the number or simply hangup when harrassing calls come in. Don't give the bully the satisfaction of a reaction. Sometimes ignoring them turns out to be not as much fun for them. Teach your child that bullies suffer from low self esteem and possible abuse at home, which makes them such a%%holes to others. And if it escalates and your child still doesn't want to persue going to police, that is their choice, then tell them to quit complaining about it if they do not want to go about it the right way.
my opinion

Ozark, MO

#11 Apr 6, 2012
mia wrote:
I have a teen child who is getting mean hurtful text and pushed around. I'm feeling helpless. My child doesn't want me to go to the police or call the other child's parent.( Parent acts the same as the kid) what do I do? I can see this getting ugly. I'm very stressed can't sleep. Please help me.
You do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do. I don't agree that you should just ignore the problem. I don't agree that you should change schools. Not only is that not an easy option due to having to pay tuition or move, but you cannot hide from bullies whether they be an adult or a child. I agree that martial art lessons may make your child feel more confident but it should not be used to teach your child how to teach the bully a lesson....unless it was self defense of course. I would definitely follow the advice from the poster suggesting keeping records, pictures, copies of texts etc. Not only could they be used against the bully if necessary but could save your child from false accusations made by the bully should this escalate. Bullying isn't a "right of passage" on your way to adulthood anymore. Thanks to technological advances bullying is taken to a whole new level. Children are killing themselves over this crap. And...if this bullying has turned physical you need to do something TODAY!!
Juan Valdez

Ozark, MO

#12 Apr 6, 2012
Shelli wrote:
Save all messages and document anything else that happens---verbal threats, physical attacks, date, time, witnesses. I know your kid doesn't want anyone else involved but I would notify the school admin verbally and in writing (have it sent by registered mail) and tell the school officer too. You have then covered yourself if something happens at school (your child gets hurt you have legal recourse) Please don't wait until it is too late. Contact juvie and let them know what is going on. And change your child's number.
Agree. I would gather as much evidence as I could. Put the police and the school on notice that if anything happens to your child, you will hold the police and the school responsible. MAKE THEM get involved to make sure the bullies are expelled from school. Make the bullies and their parents have to move and find another school. You should't even have to think about moving.
mia

Forsyth, MO

#13 Apr 6, 2012
You guys are awesome! Thanks for caring we needed someone to. My child did save the text messages. I also went to mr. Hedden at the school. I let him know of all the drama this other girl is doing . Not sure if anything will happen or not. My child doesn't know I went to the school. I felt like I have to do something. Please pray for us. Why are girls so mean? It just breaks my heart. I will keep you all posted. Thanks again!
mia

Forsyth, MO

#14 Apr 6, 2012
Shelli wrote:
Save all messages and document anything else that happens---verbal threats, physical attacks, date, time, witnesses. I know your kid doesn't want anyone else involved but I would notify the school admin verbally and in writing (have it sent by registered mail) and tell the school officer too. You have then covered yourself if something happens at school (your child gets hurt you have legal recourse) Please don't wait until it is too late. Contact juvie and let them know what is going on. And change your child's number.
Will do! Thank you.

“ Dump Obama November 6, 2012”

Since: Jan 11

Flush it.

#15 Apr 7, 2012
mia wrote:
You guys are awesome! Thanks for caring we needed someone to. My child did save the text messages. I also went to mr. Hedden at the school. I let him know of all the drama this other girl is doing . Not sure if anything will happen or not. My child doesn't know I went to the school. I felt like I have to do something. Please pray for us. Why are girls so mean? It just breaks my heart. I will keep you all posted. Thanks again!
Maybe the school can't or wont do anything about it but they still need to know whats going on. Maybe the police should also know. As someone said save everything you can. If something happens you have some proof.
Viking King

United States

#16 Apr 7, 2012
Beat there ass with a baseball bat...kids are so soft now a days. If you let your kids wrestle and get hurt when they were tots you wouldn't have kids crying about bullies. They would just have there asses beat and the bullies would change. When I was younger I had a bully problem but guess what. I grew some go mass beat the living hell out of him afjd never felt better about myself. And always remember. There's no such thing as a fair fight.
mia

Forsyth, MO

#17 Apr 7, 2012
Viking King wrote:
Beat there ass with a baseball bat...kids are so soft now a days. If you let your kids wrestle and get hurt when they were tots you wouldn't have kids crying about bullies. They would just have there asses beat and the bullies would change. When I was younger I had a bully problem but guess what. I grew some go mass beat the living hell out of him afjd never felt better about myself. And always remember. There's no such thing as a fair fight.
My daughter is about 50 pounds lighter than this girl. So would that be a fair fight? Also my child stands up and hits this girl then she will get put on probation. That doesn't sound like the answer we are looking for . Thanks anyways
Shelli

United States

#18 Apr 8, 2012
mia wrote:
<quoted text> My daughter is about 50 pounds lighter than this girl. So would that be a fair fight? Also my child stands up and hits this girl then she will get put on probation. That doesn't sound like the answer we are looking for . Thanks anyways
You are right Mia. Once upon a time, that might have worked. Today, your daughter would get expelled or charged with assault. Sad but true.
blah

Ozark, MO

#19 Apr 8, 2012
right or wrong if the kid stood up for herself and tagged the bully with a bat or rock lol .(Missouri has thousands of weapons layin on ground ).If my kid got expelled for standin up for themself guess me and them go get a cold one and watch ambulance pick up the bully lol

“ Dump Obama November 6, 2012”

Since: Jan 11

Flush it.

#20 Apr 8, 2012
blah wrote:
right or wrong if the kid stood up for herself and tagged the bully with a bat or rock lol .(Missouri has thousands of weapons layin on ground ).If my kid got expelled for standin up for themself guess me and them go get a cold one and watch ambulance pick up the bully lol
as much as we would like to do that it will get her in jail.
Mia

United States

#22 Apr 8, 2012
The parent of this girl has lots of issues! Talking to her isn't an option. We are not asking anyone to fight our battle. Just needing advice.

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