Hi, I'm not a avid 'chat roomer' or what ever its called. I saw your story whilst researching murder-suicide. My mother was also murdered, by my step-father (Colin). I had returned to live with my mother 2 and a half years ago. We were extremely close. On the morning of the 21 st April 2009, I watched him plan the murder of my mother. I think he had been fantasising about it for a few weeks as he was behaving so oddly. Can you believe the psychopath sat and had breakfast with me when he was planning to murder my mother. The psychopath looked me in the eyes. At 10 am I heard two gunshots. On walking out the patio doors I saw my mother 'lying' on the swing - I thought she was sleeping. Then I realised something was amiss as I saw the blood dripping from her mouth. I then saw Colin in a heap behind her - head blown off. I had stepped into a nightmare. I cannot describe the pain, hurt, RAGE, confusion, guilt. He did this to say to us all, "She is MINE". My mothers mother was here at the time, visiting from overseas. My mother planned to return with her mother to look after her sister with cancer. Colin did not want her to go. Whoever says it gets easier is wrong! Two months down and I 'see' momentary glimpses of the REAL LOSS! Its too unbearable, so I quickly shut that window. its hard to describe the range of feelings I feel. As you too lived with your Mum, I think you can identify with feeling helpless at your inability to protect and read the signs of a psychopathic MAD, selfish, possessive, jealous, spiteful man. The planning of it was all so terribly cruel. His dead cold eyes give me nightmares. My mother was a strong and gentle soul. I hate the way people sugar -coat it in order to protect themselves from the horror of it all....It was done out of some sort of desperate LOVE. PLEEESE. There is no love in murder. Colin, like Ted was a fake! He pretended to care only in oder to get his needs met. A childish, selfish man, who murdered my mother so he could seperate my mother, gran, and me once and for all. How do you cope with your grief, as there are days it is so unbearable I think I cannot carry on. How does we carry on without Our mothers by our side? How are you managing to make sense of this madness and your grief? How are you, only six months down the trackYou were duped? Please. My mother was killed. The way I see it you got the good end of the deal. You women need to wake up and realize the dangers of meeting people in chat rooms. Why would you expect someone to be honest in a chat room especially a sociopath like Ted?
Claire (South Africa)