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Wondering

Waterloo, IL

#1 Oct 26, 2011
Why would a (married) woman cheat with a (married) man when he doesn't give her anything in return - not emotionally, financially, or really even sexually. He litterally calls her up and she shows up, takes care of him orally - or sometimes 'traditionally'- and then leaves until he calls her the next time. Every once in a while, she just shows up without his prompting. Sometimes its just phone sex. I just can't figure it out...
hmmmm

Morton Grove, IL

#2 Oct 26, 2011
Wondering wrote:
Why would a (married) woman cheat with a (married) man when he doesn't give her anything in return - not emotionally, financially, or really even sexually. He litterally calls her up and she shows up, takes care of him orally - or sometimes 'traditionally'- and then leaves until he calls her the next time. Every once in a while, she just shows up without his prompting. Sometimes its just phone sex. I just can't figure it out...
do tell.....
LOL

United States

#3 Oct 26, 2011
How do you know MOUTH?????????
Roxanne

Waterloo, IL

#4 Oct 26, 2011
Cheating Men are all around here. Go look
LOL

United States

#5 Oct 26, 2011
I don't really care. I just want to know how this (Wondering) thinks they know so much!!! Just another stupid thread starting shit!
I think

Waterloo, IL

#6 Oct 26, 2011
"why" Because the devil is tempting them and telling them it is OK to cheat. He is working very hard these days.
Wondering

Waterloo, IL

#7 Oct 26, 2011
LOL wrote:
I don't really care. I just want to know how this (Wondering) thinks they know so much!!! Just another stupid thread starting shit!
I know so much because it's my husband who cheated in this situation. This isn't about him and why he did it. We've had countless hours of conversations on that.

Women generally cheat for the attention / emotional connection. She didn't get that - or like I said before anything else from him. But she had to have a payoff of some sort, or she wouldn't have done it.

Anyone have any thoughts?
perspective

Fenton, MO

#8 Oct 26, 2011
Wondering wrote:
<quoted text>
I know so much because it's my husband who cheated in this situation. This isn't about him and why he did it. We've had countless hours of conversations on that.
Women generally cheat for the attention / emotional connection. She didn't get that - or like I said before anything else from him. But she had to have a payoff of some sort, or she wouldn't have done it.
Anyone have any thoughts?
I suspect you are still hurting from this incident. hopefully you will get over it in time. But since your posting the situation on this site its still hurts. Good luck with your situation.
Wondering

Waterloo, IL

#9 Oct 27, 2011
perspective wrote:
<quoted text>
I suspect you are still hurting from this incident. hopefully you will get over it in time. But since your posting the situation on this site its still hurts. Good luck with your situation.
You are correct that I'm still hurting. It's been over a year since my husband told me of the affair, but it's still a daily struggle. I appreciate your kind words.
Been There

Palmdale, CA

#10 Oct 27, 2011
Wondering wrote:
<quoted text>You are correct that I'm still hurting. It's been over a year since my husband told me of the affair, but it's still a daily struggle. I appreciate your kind words.
It does feel awful to be cheated on. It will hurt you for awhile but then as time goes on you will heal.
And then you will be almost thankful that the other women did you a favor. Just know that both of their dishonesty will come back to haunt them. Karma is very real and someday or somehow they will both be repaid. And by then hopefully you will have someone who treats you like you deserve to be treated.
Been There II

Saint Louis, MO

#11 Oct 27, 2011
My Xh was a cheater too. It's terribly painful when you are at home with the kids thinking everything about your life is real and good. But remember the flaw was in him and not you. It was his lack of character and his choice. You will come to realize this in time and find you again and your life will be better.
Its Just Me

Waterloo, IL

#12 Oct 27, 2011
I agree that it doesn't seem to make sense. Maybe the girl is a sex addict.
Nosey Nelly

Waterloo, IL

#13 Oct 27, 2011
Did she know you and just have it out for you for some reason?
I am sorry

Waterloo, IL

#14 Oct 28, 2011
You do not know the whole story, he told you it was just for the sex but that is also a lie. There was more too it and you know that, of course he is going to lie to you about it.

I am a man and have been in the same situation. It is about someone making you feel good about yourself, and feeling those butterflies in your stomach.

Do not fool your self, open your eyes.

It is common to place all the blame of the other person, but be honest with yourself at least.
Sandy

Waterloo, IL

#15 Oct 28, 2011
Yes, there is a lot more to it than she knows
wishful

Elgin, IL

#16 Oct 28, 2011
Wondering wrote:
<quoted text>
You are correct that I'm still hurting. It's been over a year since my husband told me of the affair, but it's still a daily struggle. I appreciate your kind words.
I wish I had found a woman like you when I first got married. You have the right attitude......
Different Thought

Waterloo, IL

#17 Oct 28, 2011
I am sorry wrote:
You do not know the whole story, he told you it was just for the sex but that is also a lie. There was more too it and you know that, of course he is going to lie to you about it.
I am a man and have been in the same situation. It is about someone making you feel good about yourself, and feeling those butterflies in your stomach.
Do not fool your self, open your eyes.
It is common to place all the blame of the other person, but be honest with yourself at least.
Just because maybe you didn't tell your wife the truth doesn't mean that her husband hasn't. There are some of us that only do it for the sex. There are also those of us that hate what we've done so much that we come clean and tell the whole truth to our wives.

It doesn't sound to me like she's 'blaming the other person'. She just still has questions.

Wondering....have you talked to the other woman?
Different Thought

Waterloo, IL

#18 Oct 28, 2011
Sandy wrote:
Yes, there is a lot more to it than she knows
Care to state your case? Why would you just throw a statement like that out?
Gogo

Waterloo, IL

#19 Oct 28, 2011
Wondering wrote:
<quoted text>
I know so much because it's my husband who cheated in this situation. This isn't about him and why he did it. We've had countless hours of conversations on that.
Women generally cheat for the attention / emotional connection. She didn't get that - or like I said before anything else from him. But she had to have a payoff of some sort, or she wouldn't have done it.
Anyone have any thoughts?
You know, if you really wanted to get back at him, you could cheat yourself. And it could be with me, I'd be happy to help you out.
Wondering

Waterloo, IL

#20 Oct 28, 2011
I thank you all very much for your (mostly) kind words. I'm not looking to get back at him. He's repented to both me and most importantly to God, and I believe he is truly sorry.

To Different Thought: sounds kind of similar to my situation. He told me of the affair. I did not catch him. I actually had no idea. I believe he has told me everything, and I do believe there was only sex - no emotional relationship.

Regarding the other woman, I confronted her when he first told me, but I have not spoken to her since. Although she is guilty also, I don't blame her. If it wasn't her, it would have been someone else.

I don't know why I even care what her payoff was...it just runs through my mind fairly regularly.

After all of the hateful things I read on Topix all of the time, it's been refreshing to get some support from you folks. Thank you.

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