Second wives, protect your children!

[Second Wife]

Write to your senators and your state representatives....tell them you want more fair child support laws. Let's hold these custodial mothers accountable for their spending of the child support they are receiving! Other states do...why don't we?
Illinois law currently states that "first families come first". Let's let them know that our children count too! Our children need to have the same right to financial security that "first" children do. I don't know about you but MY children are NOT low priority as Illinois says they are.

[Stuck in Il]

Got to love Illinois laws, what a mess!!

[No doubt]

Stuck in Il wrote:

Got to love Illinois laws, what a mess!!

what a clusterfuck state that place is...

[purple helmet]

how about the 90% tax increase?...makes me wanna go and buy a 30 dollar 12 pack!!

[love it]

Creating sibling resentment....that's Illinois for ya!

[wow]

two of my very best friends are going through this. Actually, the husband is sitting in jail right now. When he divorced his first wife, which he has 2 children with, claimed indegent,(sic), and he was ordered to pay $700 a month. He payed it for 2 years. In the meantime he remarried and had 2 more kids. Now, the ex-wife is suing him for back child support through the state and he has to stay in jail until they figure the whole thing out. So, what happens if he gets divorced from his second wife? She will get next to nothing. what a country

[Yep]

wow wrote:

two of my very best friends are going through this. Actually, the husband is sitting in jail right now. When he divorced his first wife, which he has 2 children with, claimed indegent,(sic), and he was ordered to pay $700 a month. He payed it for 2 years. In the meantime he remarried and had 2 more kids. Now, the ex-wife is suing him for back child support through the state and he has to stay in jail until they figure the whole thing out. So, what happens if he gets divorced from his second wife? She will get next to nothing. what a country

It's very possible that my husband could end up paying $1300 per month to a woman with a full time job who has a husband with a full time job and a Daddy that is loaded and takes care of her and the child's every whim!

[LIVING ON MAIN]

Yep wrote:

<quoted text>
It's very possible that my husband could end up paying $1300 per month to a woman with a full time job who has a husband with a full time job and a Daddy that is loaded and takes care of her and the child's every whim!

Well It isnt the womans daddys or her husbands responsibility to provide for your husbands child is it?! Im sure He had a responsibility to that woman and their child long before you came into the picture. It would be a whole different situation if the roles were switched. Im sure you would want your child provided for if it were youl.

[Please]

LIVING ON MAIN wrote:

<quoted text>
Well It isnt the womans daddys or her husbands responsibility to provide for your husbands child is it?! Im sure He had a responsibility to that woman and their child long before you came into the picture. It would be a whole different situation if the roles were switched. Im sure you would want your child provided for if it were youl.

No, it isn't....I have no problem with child support....I have a BIG problem with 1300 per month for ONE CHILD!!!!
My Children don't get that much allowed to them each month....My children don't HAVE college funds, don't have huge savings accounts and don't get to go on multiple vacations each year without fail.

I am so sick of this attitude of entitlement that these custodial parents are getting....and I'm sick of the state of Illinois supporting them in it....and I'm sick of being told that MY KIDS don't matter because of their birth order...and I'm sick of battling sibling resentment because of all of this bullshit!

[Yep]

Please wrote:

<quoted text>
No, it isn't....I have no problem with child support....I have a BIG problem with 1300 per month for ONE CHILD!!!!
My Children don't get that much allowed to them each month....My children don't HAVE college funds, don't have huge savings accounts and don't get to go on multiple vacations each year without fail.
I am so sick of this attitude of entitlement that these custodial parents are getting....and I'm sick of the state of Illinois supporting them in it....and I'm sick of being told that MY KIDS don't matter because of their birth order...and I'm sick of battling sibling resentment because of all of this bullshit!

I agree 100%. Some of the ex wives feel as if they are their ex husbands responsibility still. I have a child from a previous marriage and get not even half of what my husband pays for his child from his previous marriage. I am self sufficient though and believe child support is for the child..not to buy myself tanning packages and get my nails done. Then the woman has the audacity to think he should pay for school clothes as well! It's ridiculous - my household should be equal and it is absolutly not.

[xray]

meemaw's takin me and lomez to the picture show

[How about]

Why not make Child Support a set amount like minimum wage is....If you have one child you pay X amount....if you have two you pay X amount....etc.
Then the amounts could go up with the cost of living like minimum wage does. No guess work...everybody pays the same amount....not a % of income. Then other expenses such as health insurance are split 50/50 between the parents...period....no fighting because it is what it is....how about that?

[Gracie]

There also has to be accountability for the person receiving the CS. We have to pay an ungodly amount to a greedy biotch who doesn't spend it on the one kid and considers it her money. It's ridiculous!

[Connie Givens]

How about wrote:

Why not make Child Support a set amount like minimum wage is....If you have one child you pay X amount....if you have two you pay X amount....etc.
Then the amounts could go up with the cost of living like minimum wage does. No guess work...everybody pays the same amount....not a % of income. Then other expenses such as health insurance are split 50/50 between the parents...period....no fighting because it is what it is....how about that?

I think that is absolutely the way it sould be. And it is alot easier for the custodial parent to go back to the courts and ask for more money. We had my step son living with us for 1 year. We contacted the courts to let them know that but we still had to pay his mother childsupport. That is not fair. We didnt owe any back support we were paying her to take care of 2 kids that she had with another man. The courts set the amount and then The child support agency draws intrest off of it so it is in their best intrest to set the support at a higher rate. They arent thinking about the kids at all.

[Angel]

wow wrote:

two of my very best friends are going through this. Actually, the husband is sitting in jail right now. When he divorced his first wife, which he has 2 children with, claimed indegent,(sic), and he was ordered to pay $700 a month. He payed it for 2 years. In the meantime he remarried and had 2 more kids. Now, the ex-wife is suing him for back child support through the state and he has to stay in jail until they figure the whole thing out. So, what happens if he gets divorced from his second wife? She will get next to nothing. what a country

Common sense: he shouldn't have had more kids if he couldn't even support the children from his first family.

[Angel]

How about wrote:

Why not make Child Support a set amount like minimum wage is....If you have one child you pay X amount....if you have two you pay X amount....etc.
Then the amounts could go up with the cost of living like minimum wage does. No guess work...everybody pays the same amount....not a % of income. Then other expenses such as health insurance are split 50/50 between the parents...period....no fighting because it is what it is....how about that?

No guess work here; the answer is because not everyone makes the same amount of money. Hence, there are guidelines; if someone makes this much, he or she should contribute this percentage of those earnings to the well-being of his or her child. And of course, this sum was determined (hopefully) before another family came into the picture. And then if another family does come into the picture, well, that parent already knew he only had this amount available for another family. Hence, the new family has to live on what is left.

[Angel]

Please wrote:

<quoted text>
No, it isn't....I have no problem with child support....I have a BIG problem with 1300 per month for ONE CHILD!!!!
My Children don't get that much allowed to them each month....My children don't HAVE college funds, don't have huge savings accounts and don't get to go on multiple vacations each year without fail.
I am so sick of this attitude of entitlement that these custodial parents are getting....and I'm sick of the state of Illinois supporting them in it....and I'm sick of being told that MY KIDS don't matter because of their birth order...and I'm sick of battling sibling resentment because of all of this bullshit!

What's truly sad is when the person remarrying doesn't make his financial obligations crystal clear before he remarries -- because it sets up the spouse in the second marriage with unrealistic expectations.
He or she needs to say before they marry, "Look, you need to know this much of my money is already committed to another family."
Then the soon-to-be new spouse can either walk away -- or can say, "I love you so much that the amount you earn doesn't matter to me."

[Angel]

Yep wrote:

<quoted text>
I agree 100%. Some of the ex wives feel as if they are their ex husbands responsibility still. I have a child from a previous marriage and get not even half of what my husband pays for his child from his previous marriage. I am self sufficient though and believe child support is for the child..not to buy myself tanning packages and get my nails done. Then the woman has the audacity to think he should pay for school clothes as well! It's ridiculous - my household should be equal and it is absolutly not.

So what you're saying here is that you married up, or married a man who earns more money than your previous spouse did. Consequently, he pays more in child support than your ex does or did -- and you find it unfair. But keep in mind his kids were in his life long before you were, and had that standard of living that you now want, but can't have because his income already is already committed. The good news is you are self-sufficient so this shouldn't be a problem.

[Angel]

Second Wife wrote:

Write to your senators and your state representatives....tell them you want more fair child support laws. Let's hold these custodial mothers accountable for their spending of the child support they are receiving! Other states do...why don't we?
Illinois law currently states that "first families come first". Let's let them know that our children count too! Our children need to have the same right to financial security that "first" children do. I don't know about you but MY children are NOT low priority as Illinois says they are.

My guess is that it would be discriminatory to make custodial parents accountable unless non-custodial parents weren't also accountable for how they spend their money. Maybe if you provide a detailed analysis where you spend every last penny, the ex would, too. You could always give it a go, and see what happens.

[Angel]

love it wrote:

Creating sibling resentment....that's Illinois for ya!

More likely, that's divorce for you.