Stay-at-home moms, you're worth $117,000

If a stay-at-home mom could be compensated in dollars rather than personal satisfaction and unconditional love, she'd rake in a nifty sum of almost $117,000 a year. Full Story
First Prev
of 2
Next Last
Indy

United States

#26 May 28, 2008
Mike wrote:
<quoted text>
Worse yet, they have no idea how hard many women (and men) fought to give them the right to a fair place in the workplace. Many similarly have no clue how women in the rest of the world really do suffer. Instead, we feed this fantasy of June Clever, brood mare and consort to executive Ward, as the equal of a female associate at a major law firm working 50 hours a week and still taking care of the kids and the house. Maybe a moron like Lou Dobbs can blame their plight on illegal aliens, he does everything else. I enjoyed your post.
IMHO, somebody somewhere did a real number on you.

And if you truly know any female associates, you know they probably work more than 50 hours a week and have at least one, if not TWO nannies.

Get over your anger. There's nothing wrong with children needing their moms and their moms wanting to meet that need.

I've done both worlds (working and sahm)- nothing beats being there for your kids if it is at all possible. They're only little once. As Jackie Kennedy said - if you muck up parenthood [paraphrasing] what difference does anything else make?
Indy

United States

#27 May 28, 2008
massachusetts resident wrote:
to: a feminist:
i am so relieved to find that someone else thinks as i do. these bogus fakers know that they do nothing all day but shop, blab on the phone and meet other mommies for whatever..using the playground for an excuse to socialize, the mall to justify "shopping" and plenty of time to meet at starbucks and complain while the brats run in circles around them. you are correct on the daytime tv thing, those shows stay in the ratings for someone and it isnt working people out there bustin a** for a living. its for the elderly, the unemployed(re:sahm) and people too retarded to bag groceries down at the local grocery store.
id say that the majority of veiwers are shams and that if they all went out and got a real job the ratings would plunder.
its such a shame that so many people fall for the fallacy. taking care of kids is is hard work yes. no one can argue that but only if you actually do it, and do it right EVERY DAY. if done, right then there should be no lonely, bored housewives you wouldnt have time to be bored..the house should be clean, dinner should be ready when your wallet returns from the real world and the kids should be well behaved seeing as you have every day of your life to accomplish this. there is no excuse for a messy house, frozen pizza for dinner or ill behaved children. lets see now..with alll the shams staying home these days there should be a huuge amount of well behaved kids out there..right? where are they?
lets face it, its all a huge lie..shams dont want to stay home for the children thats just a pathetic excuse..its more like "i dont want to get a job..its toooo harrrrdddd.
grow up and smell the commute, the punch cards and the deadlines..get real and stop trying to mooch off your wallet.
Just like there are bad or weak employees in the workplace there ARE bad and weak parents at home.

Don't marry and/or make children with one of those - that's the best solution.
Mike

West Palm Beach, FL

#28 May 28, 2008
Indy wrote:
<quoted text>
IMHO, somebody somewhere did a real number on you.
And if you truly know any female associates, you know they probably work more than 50 hours a week and have at least one, if not TWO nannies.
Get over your anger. There's nothing wrong with children needing their moms and their moms wanting to meet that need.
I've done both worlds (working and sahm)- nothing beats being there for your kids if it is at all possible. They're only little once. As Jackie Kennedy said - if you muck up parenthood [paraphrasing] what difference does anything else make?
Sorry dear, most of the female associates did not have "nannies", and many did work more than 50 hours to get that 2200 billable. And nobody I know said it was a bad thing for a mom to stay home with a young child, but this $117k stuff if sentimental nonsense and you know it. Now, after the kids are off to full time school, what is June Clever's excuse to watch Oprah and run the dishwasher all day long? She has gone from being a maid and nanny (value about $40k), to just being a maid ($20k).

Simply put, it is an insult to the women who work full time, especially those who also have a family, to pretent a stay at home mom has a market value of $100k+. It is also an insult to those who struggled for years to approach equal pay for equal work to place such an economic value on "stay at home moms".Stay home if you can afford it because you want to, your husband wants you to, or a special needs kid really needs your constant attention. But in most cases, they stay home because mommy taught them they deserved to be taken care of by a man, "work" is hard, often boring, and work outside the home involves measurement of success or failure. No just a few perfer to stay at home beccause they prefer to avoid "work". If you are Jackie Kennedy, do whatever your little heart desires, but don't tell me you "need" to stay home with the kids as the bills pile up, you take public assistance or you children are gone to school most of the working day....and don't pretend you efforts at home are the equal of a women who earns $117K.
Indy

United States

#29 May 28, 2008
Mike wrote:
<quoted text>
Sorry dear, most of the female associates did not have "nannies", and many did work more than 50 hours to get that 2200 billable. And nobody I know said it was a bad thing for a mom to stay home with a young child, but this $117k stuff if sentimental nonsense and you know it. Now, after the kids are off to full time school, what is June Clever's excuse to watch Oprah and run the dishwasher all day long? She has gone from being a maid and nanny (value about $40k), to just being a maid ($20k).
Simply put, it is an insult to the women who work full time, especially those who also have a family, to pretent a stay at home mom has a market value of $100k+. It is also an insult to those who struggled for years to approach equal pay for equal work to place such an economic value on "stay at home moms".Stay home if you can afford it because you want to, your husband wants you to, or a special needs kid really needs your constant attention. But in most cases, they stay home because mommy taught them they deserved to be taken care of by a man, "work" is hard, often boring, and work outside the home involves measurement of success or failure. No just a few perfer to stay at home beccause they prefer to avoid "work". If you are Jackie Kennedy, do whatever your little heart desires, but don't tell me you "need" to stay home with the kids as the bills pile up, you take public assistance or you children are gone to school most of the working day....and don't pretend you efforts at home are the equal of a women who earns $117K.
Why the interest in this subject? What is your experience?

I am a sahm, and am also someone capable of making $117K (actually more at this stage of my career). I choose to be home with my kids. My husband wants the same thing. It's a win-win for us. We have done the due diligence and made a reasoned decision about what's best for our family.

So what's your problem? Did your mom make you swallow this garbage and it's how you justified it in your mind? Do you feel inadequate to provide for your family? Does your wife transfer her guilt to you? If you feel confident in the decisions that have been made in your life why are you so defensive? How does anyone else's lifestyly affect yours to the degree that you feel compelled to rail incessantly on some chat forum?

This is America and people do have choices. I don't put much credence in these types of articles (or numbers which have many variables) but I do defend the women (and men) who put their families above material possessions.
Mike

West Palm Beach, FL

#30 May 28, 2008
Indy wrote:
<quoted text>
Why the interest in this subject? What is your experience?
I am a sahm, and am also someone capable of making $117K (actually more at this stage of my career). I choose to be home with my kids. My husband wants the same thing. It's a win-win for us. We have done the due diligence and made a reasoned decision about what's best for our family.
So what's your problem? Did your mom make you swallow this garbage and it's how you justified it in your mind? Do you feel inadequate to provide for your family? Does your wife transfer her guilt to you? If you feel confident in the decisions that have been made in your life why are you so defensive? How does anyone else's lifestyly affect yours to the degree that you feel compelled to rail incessantly on some chat forum?
This is America and people do have choices. I don't put much credence in these types of articles (or numbers which have many variables) but I do defend the women (and men) who put their families above material possessions.
Actually dear you seem to be the defensive one, defending your choice to stay at home with the kids. I have not assailed you for wasting your education and the opportunity others struggled to provide to you by creating a a gender neutral workplace. If you were my daughter, granddaugher or neice, I would, but with you I don't really care at all. It is your free choice to stay at home, and I'm sure your decision was only for "the family's sake". And the risk you take by being financially dependant on your spouse are your own business. But many families do not have the luxury of living on just hubby's wage, and many women view their appropriate role in life as more than just as a child care provider and housekeeper, thus the article's attempt to equate stay at home moms with $117K real job sparked the controversy. It takes no childhood trama to see the problem with that article.

I am a retired executive who also practiced law. I watched, and helped in very humble ways, as women struggled to gain a fair place in the professional workplace. My firm had one of the first women partners in the Midwest. As I said, this article is an insult to that effort. Trained brain surgeons can decide, in a free America, to become landscaping laborers, and that is fine. Trained engineers can decide to become babysitters, it is, as you point out, personal choice. But don't try telling me the landscaper or babysitter is really worth $100k!
And I'm retired, shouldn't you be busy adding value in your stay at home workplace, at least until Oprah?
lisa gurls rule

Toronto, Canada

#31 Jun 6, 2008
stay at home wives are worth so much so y arn't they makin that much
Loca123

El Cajon, CA

#32 Jul 1, 2008
All you people talking about Housewives being Lazy, I for one wake up at 5:30 a.m. to cook my husband breakfast, clean the house, run errands, do the Laundry and cook dinner. Yes, we do go to Starbucks, and drink a latte who doesn't? But when I decided to have a child, I gave up my career. Someone has to raise the children?? When you judge someone, you are only judging yourself!!! Women in the work place may do everything EXCEPT stay home to raise there kids. That is the most important job in the world to me. It is exhausting, and I am tired of people who do not have a clue, make such assumptions about Home Makers.
mazz

Overland Park, KS

#33 Jul 1, 2008
MIKE- Whoa, are you fired up. You seem to have given this quite a bit of thought. Sounds like you might be a bit bitter because your mom chose not to stay home and take care of you.
Mike

West Palm Beach, FL

#36 Jul 4, 2008
mazz wrote:
MIKE- Whoa, are you fired up. You seem to have given this quite a bit of thought. Sounds like you might be a bit bitter because your mom chose not to stay home and take care of you.
No, in the early 1950s, my mother, an extremely intelligent and college educated woman stayed home with the kids when we were young, but then again the opportunities for women in the workplace were a bit limited. Of course, once we were off the school she discovered that virtually all the details of "homemaking" could be finished in a few hours, even prior to the now near complete mechanization of the homemakers tasks, and so she found part time retail employment and charity works to fill her idle hours, enriching her childrens' lives with the real life, out of home experiences she shared. Check out the series Mad Men for the role of women in US society by 1960, it is actually quite accurate.

In the 1960s may of us fought for women to have both an equal opportunity for higher education and equal pay in the workplace. We formed low cost cooperatives to provide daycare so women with children could attend classes. And by the early 1980 our efforts paid off. We had women partners in powerful law firms, a substantial increase in women doctors and even engineers and scientists. Now women comprise the largest part of most higher education institutions.

Despite this progress, even today, many women chose to stay home. As long as they can afford it and their mate agrees, who cares. Sometimes, however, their husbands have been trained to believe they should carry the entire finacial burden of the family as a metter of male pride, and many a lazy women plays that song, while bemoaning the difficulty of homemaking and the nobility of child rearing.Especially when they say things like "my husband works 60 hours a week and we still cannot afford insurance", yet defends the reasonablness of her role as in house maid and nanny with stupid comparisons to real, highpaying jobs, I can only wonder why she would think her children are better off deprived of their father's attention that extra 20 hours a week so that mom can lay on the couch and watch Oprah.

If a guy wants to come home to a wife whose entire day was comprised of baby poop, household chores, neighborhood gossip and TV, that is his business...but in my experience few really do...they just don't know how, or are too proud, to tell the old lady to get off her rear and get a job. And of course, if his attention wonders to a female co-worker, the stay at home spouse is totally unprepared for the reality of career and child rearing that is often the result, sometimes late in her productive years, hardly a pro-women result. And the courts no longer pretend the ex-wife should be allowed to stay home, since the reality of her opporutnities have changed so dramatically.

So yes, I have thought alot about it, and still believe I am correct.
mazz

Overland Park, KS

#37 Jul 4, 2008
Well, obviously. No one thinks he is wrong, now does he. I believe a woman should stay at home with her kids until they youngest one starts school. After that, she is no longer a stay at home mom, she is just unemployed. However, if you look at the scientific research, women who choose to go back to work while their babies are still in diapers are most likely to be victims of infidelity. They are also more likely to be unfaithful themselves. I have a B.A. in psychology and have focused heavily on marriage and family values so my opinions are based on facts ;)
Mike

West Palm Beach, FL

#38 Jul 7, 2008
mazz wrote:
Well, obviously. No one thinks he is wrong, now does he. I believe a woman should stay at home with her kids until they youngest one starts school. After that, she is no longer a stay at home mom, she is just unemployed. However, if you look at the scientific research, women who choose to go back to work while their babies are still in diapers are most likely to be victims of infidelity. They are also more likely to be unfaithful themselves. I have a B.A. in psychology and have focused heavily on marriage and family values so my opinions are based on facts ;)
All due respect to an undergraduate degree in psychology and the lessons you learned at rat lab, from publication of Kinsey's ground breaking Bloomington research forward, "out of marriage sexual relationships" are known to be highly correlated to age, opportunity and economic status. I seriously doubt whether your views regarding infidelity and women leaving children "in diapers" to go to the workplace has anything to do with "stay at home moms" or is more than bogus "family values" propaganda by bible thumping morons who write books recommended by Oprah but that lack any peer review necessary to be real "scientific research". The bookstores are full of such tripe, often by some Reverand with a Phd from correspondence schools.

Rather, the likilihood of women in the workplace, especially during breeding years, being more likily involved with another sexually relates to, say it together now, " age, opportunity and economic status". The idea that a women with young children who goes to work is more likily to experinece a cheating husband, if such data actually exists (I doubt it does however), would be similarly explained due to the increased presence of other breeding age females in the home to clean and care for the children in the mothers absence and the generally lower economic status reflected by the pressing need for both parent's incomes.

Our Middle Eastern friends have a method to promote the family values you seem to focus most on...that infidelity thing. Between the veil and the sword, they seem to keep their women pretty faithful, if that is your primary social (or I suspect religious) objective. So too, Mr. Jeffers out in Nevada and Utah had his own method to promote fidelity, at least on the womens' part. It is promoted merely by physically isolating the women from contact with males too whom they are not married. All right girls, go to your side of the church, and to the back of the bus, we will all be more comfortable then that there will be less hanky panky.

You might want to focus on the male psychological reasons associated with promoting "stay at home moms" even when it makes no economic sense for the family (including for the children's health and future prospects). You may find your "research" on fear of infidelity has a bit more validity there, than in attempting to justify a personal decisions by able bodied, educated and intelligent women to just stay home with the kids. It is as absurd to say that such a decision is "good" in most circumstances as to claim it is "bad", but it is clearly intellectually dishonest to pretend it is the equal to $100k+ job. And to worry about whether your spouse is more likily to "get some" on the side if she works, when your kids do not have health insurance, is just plain nuts. Go tell it to the preacher, but don't pretend it is scientific fact.
mazz

Overland Park, KS

#39 Jul 10, 2008
Goodness, Mike. I have met a few people like you. Those who thrive on feelings of superiority. That's totally fine with me. You tell yourself and others exactly what you need to in order to make yourself feel better. I just plain feel sorry for you. I hope all is going well with you. I hope your family is as happy as mine is. Chronic justification does not a happy life make.
Mike

West Palm Beach, FL

#40 Jul 11, 2008
mazz wrote:
Goodness, Mike. I have met a few people like you. Those who thrive on feelings of superiority. That's totally fine with me. You tell yourself and others exactly what you need to in order to make yourself feel better. I just plain feel sorry for you. I hope all is going well with you. I hope your family is as happy as mine is. Chronic justification does not a happy life make.
I just love pop psychology done by someone with a BA over a blog. At least it is worth what we pay for it!You gave me my first laugh of the day, now go watch Oprah. Its time to walk to the beach, chock full of those overworked stay at home moms this time of year,...just another great day in South Florida.
massachusetts resident

Acton, MA

#41 Jul 20, 2008
Mom of High schooler wrote:
I figured it out why you are so angry. All the posters are men! For the ones who have stay at home wives, you should appreciate them more. My husband makes alot of business trips out of town and if I had a full time job my kids would be who knows where. Since I am a stay at home mom my children are taken care of. I know what they are doing at all times. I am not a SAHM that does nothing! Come to my house and I can show you all the things that I accompish in one business day.
oh like the working mom or even a non mom cant do that kind of stuff.
we do it backwards and in heels!!!
mazz

Overland Park, KS

#42 Jul 22, 2008
If you don't like stay at home moms, don't be one. If you are a man, don't marry one. But it is ridiculous to think that they are all going to work outside the home because you don't approve. It just gives us something to laugh at from time to time. I don't like Obama but I don't get upset because other people do. We all have different opinions and the right to act on them, some of us just get mad when others exercise that right. You poor guys.
kgrlife

Idaho Falls, ID

#43 Apr 27, 2009
Boka wrote:
A copy of this study will be in every divorce lawyer's portfolio. We can expect TV ads, "Mothers did you know your ex-husbands owe you at least $117,000 per year plus child support?
Call!
LOL. That makes me chuckle.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Waltham Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Tetraphase Said to Explore Sale After Drawing T... Mon howardjhonson 1
Medford Magic Shop (Feb '14) Nov 20 Magic Hat 3
Judge Peter Digangi named " A**-hole of the mon... (Sep '11) Nov 19 Justice for all 106
What Car Should You Drive Based on Your College? Nov 7 Dave Johnson 2
Bad Home Builders Nationwide (Jan '08) Nov 4 CATCANDO 43
A night of reckoning Nov 3 the irony 2
Hundreds overtake Newbury Street in protest of ... Nov 1 reality is a crutch 1

Winter Storm Warning for Middlesex County was issued at November 25 at 11:11PM EST

Waltham News Video

Waltham Dating
Find my Match

Waltham People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

Waltham News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Waltham

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]

NFL Latest News

Updated 4:35 pm PST

NBC Sports 4:35PM
Cowboys' Murray no surprise to rushing champ McCoy - NBC Sports
Yahoo! Sports 4:48 PM
Playoff contenders feature in US Thanksgiving games
NBC Sports 5:52 PM
NFL indeed does not fine Raiola
NBC Sports 6:57 PM
Hernandez double-murder trial delayed
Bleacher Report 8:07 PM
Complete Preview for Eagles vs. Cowboys