Gay Dough

The Equal Rights Washington Education Fund, a nonprofit barred from investing much of its funds in electoral politics, can't spend money on ads about Referendum 71. But they can spend money on an ad this ad featuring Charlene Strong, who lost her partner in a flooding disaster, talking about being barred from her partner's hospital room:

[Gay Mom]

We have medical power of attorney here in Michigan, but other than that, could I make funeral arrangements, if needed? The house being left to me is in our will. Could the State of Michigan intervene? It's pretty scary.

[Eschew Obfuscation]

Gay Mom wrote:

We have medical power of attorney here in Michigan, but other than that, could I make funeral arrangements, if needed? The house being left to me is in our will. Could the State of Michigan intervene? It's pretty scary.

It goes beyond funeral arrangements, medical decisions, and ownership of home. If ALL bank accounts are not joint then the funds become part of the estate. Who will become guardian of the children? Any family member can intervene or claim "next of kin" and possibly negate a deceased partner's wishes. Scary, indeed.

[RalphB]

I haven't consulted my attorney on this, but my Financial Planner tells me that the IRA, Roth IRA, Pension, and Insurance are all safe if a beneficary is named, rather than the estate. Evidently estate law does not cover anything that has a beneficary mentioned. I intend to check with my lawyer when he gets back from jail (a little humor, he's on vacation).

[Eschew Obfuscation]

I was told by a real estate broker that both names should be on the title with each being designated as "Joint Tenant with Rights of Survivorship (JTWROS)". A banker also suggested that any financial accounts which do not allow for a beneficiary should have a "Payable on Death (POD)" stipulation.

[Rick in Kansas]

Gay Mom wrote:

We have medical power of attorney here in Michigan, but other than that, could I make funeral arrangements, if needed? The house being left to me is in our will. Could the State of Michigan intervene? It's pretty scary.

The unfortunate reality is, no matter what expensive legal hoops you jump through as a couple, you are still legal strangers to one another and what your rights are, is entirely dependent your relationship with your wife's legal next of kin. While the state cannot necessarily interfere in your legal arrangements, ner closest relatives can. They do have the legal right to challenge your powers of attorney and they do have the right of survivorship which allows them the right to challenge her will (and even if your name is on the title, you legally own only half interest in the house). Sadly over the years, I've seen the ugliness that can happen when a self-estranged "legal relative" rolls in demanding their rights, at the expense of a spouse, who despite having all the I's dotted and the T's crossed, ends up getting screwed over at the worst possible time... Until we have the right to marry, or at the very minimum, equality to marriage, the risks will still be out there and for anyone whose spouse comes from a family who has rejected them or doesn't "approve" of your relationship, watch out.