“Just watching the show & LOL..”

Since: Oct 10

Location hidden

#22 Dec 21, 2010
What does a skinny little trailer trash bottle blonde call her first lover???
ANS = big brother.

The rest of her lovers???
ANS = Cuz.

Her big sister???
ANS = Mamma.
Byron L Ward PhD

Charlotte, NC

#23 Dec 21, 2010
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"

Since: Sep 10

Location hidden

#24 Dec 21, 2010
now thats funny!!!!!!!!!!
Blond

Morven, NC

#25 Dec 21, 2010
Q: What do you say to a skinny little trailer trash bottle blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.
blond

United States

#27 Dec 23, 2010
7 yr itch wrote:
What do you call a skinny blond with 90% of her intelligence gone?......divorced.
wait..better one..what do you call a blonde with no a##hole ??--- divorced

“Just watching the show & LOL..”

Since: Oct 10

Location hidden

#28 Dec 23, 2010
blond wrote:
<quoted text> wait..better one..what do you call a blonde with no a##hole ??--- divorced
Ooooh Good One!!! My wife has two azzholes; God gave her one and she married the other!
Blond

Mooresville, NC

#29 Dec 23, 2010
luvnut wrote:
<quoted text>
Ooooh Good One!!! My wife has two azzholes; God gave her one and she married the other!
Q: What do you call a skinny trailer trash bottle blonde teller with a dollar bill on her head?
A: All you can eat under a buck.
Q: Why did they call the blond "twinkie"?
A: She liked to be filled with cream.
Chew Bang Tin

El Dorado Hills, CA

#30 Dec 24, 2010
The skinny blond wanted to has sex with a Asian man.
Once the blond and Tin was naked she said "give me tin and make it hurt", so I gave her 5 twice and punch her in the mouth.
blond

Morven, NC

#31 Dec 24, 2010
A skinny blond woman finds herself in dire trouble. She's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray... "God, please help me. If I don't get some money, I'm going to lose everything. Please let me win the lotto."
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. She again prays..."God, please let me win the lotto! I'm going to lose my SUV and everything." Lotto night comes and she still has no luck.
Once again, she prays..."My God, why have you forsaken me?? I'm losing my SUV and cant pay my bills, I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and she is confronted by the voice of God Himself:
"Blondy, meet me halfway on this. Buy a ticket."
Blond

Mooresville, NC

#32 Dec 24, 2010
Q: What is the difference between a skinny trailer trash bottle blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".

Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...

Q" What is the difference between a blond and a bowling ball?
A: You can only put 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Blond

Mooresville, NC

#33 Dec 24, 2010
Q: What do skinny trailer trash bottle blondes and turtles have in common?
A: When they are on their backs they are screwed.

Q: What is the difference between a blond and a 747?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747.

“Just watching the show & LOL..”

Since: Oct 10

Location hidden

#34 Dec 28, 2010
Dah-Dah, how come you don't play tickle with mama like uncle Bubba duz? She seemz to like it. I get mad tho when they thro away those pretty neon balloons.
Yep

Hickory, NC

#35 Dec 29, 2010
Coco Chanel wrote:
I knew alcohol was not the real problem.
Please, be safe and take care of yourself this Christmas. A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of holiday season traffic accidents are alcohol related.
This means that the remaining 77% are caused by assholes who just drink coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, milk, water, and shit like that. Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents.
This message is sent by someone who cares about your well being.
Dang good advice CoCo! Happy New Year!

“Just watching the show & LOL..”

Since: Oct 10

Location hidden

#36 Dec 29, 2010
Coco Chanel wrote:
I knew alcohol was not the real problem.
Please, be safe and take care of yourself this Christmas. A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of holiday season traffic accidents are alcohol related.
This means that the remaining 77% are caused by assholes who just drink coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, milk, water, and shit like that. Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents.
This message is sent by someone who cares about your well being.
New Years Eve is one night I always stay home for sure. Too many idiots out there!

“Just watching the show & LOL..”

Since: Oct 10

Location hidden

#37 Feb 26, 2011
Waddya call an idiot with a funky way of looking at things???

ANS: HTFinley.

“Just watching the show & LOL..”

Since: Oct 10

Location hidden

#38 Feb 27, 2011
Hadda skinny little trailer trash bottle blonde at the pond in a mall sticking her finger down her throat making herself blow chunks. The security guard ran over & asked whats wrong??? She said "I just took my medicine & I have to get it back out!"
The guard asked why, & she said "the bottle says to take one pill twice a day".:0

“Just watching the show & LOL..”

Since: Oct 10

Location hidden

#39 Mar 4, 2011
Or dear. Grandaughter was over the other day. Heard a new word and had to ask me; what is a "nymphomaniac"? Oh, hail! I said "it's a female that is addicted to sex". Few minutes later she asks, "well then, what do you call a male that is addicted to sex"? From the kitchen "Maw maw" yelled..."A MAN".
Scott G

Midland, NC

#40 Mar 15, 2011
LOL

“Just watching the show & LOL..”

Since: Oct 10

Location hidden

#41 Mar 30, 2011
What do the Dook Blue Devils, UNC Tarheels & Billy Graham all have in common??????

----------

They can all make a crowd of 80,000 + stand and scream JESUS!

“Just watching the show & LOL..”

Since: Oct 10

Location hidden

#42 May 22, 2011
OMG...this was on a CBS comment board today;
Now that President Obama is going to visit his ancestrial homeland of Ireland, that officially make him a..........
wait for it..........
here it comes..........

A "Lepre-coon"!

OMG THATS funny.....I needed that one.

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