OMG Too Funny!

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“Seeking reality & civilization”

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#1
Dec 5, 2010
 

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OK. Shot, his son & Denise are riding in the car from Marshville towards Wingate. Who's driving?

Answer: THE POLICE !!!

“Seeking reality & civilization”

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#2
Dec 5, 2010
 

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Then there was the skinny little trailer trash bottle blonde at the market staring at the orange juice. Manager asks why. She replies "it says concentrate".

“Seeking reality & civilization”

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#3
Dec 5, 2010
 

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But my favorite is; how does a skinny little trailer trash bottle blonde turn on the lights after sex? She opens the car door! Haw haw haw haw haw!!!!!!!!!

“Seeking reality & civilization”

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#4
Dec 5, 2010
 
Gotta go "P" & get to bed; work tomorrow!
blond

Matthews, NC

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#5
Dec 5, 2010
 

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whats the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blond.....ones a fony buck
the others a bony *uck
Norma G

Wingate, NC

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#6
Dec 5, 2010
 

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LMAO to all you guys!! Funnnneeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

Since: Sep 10

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#7
Dec 5, 2010
 

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hahahahahahaha! Thanks for the laughs today!!!!!
blond

Matthews, NC

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#8
Dec 6, 2010
 

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A blonde and a guy were together at their getaway spot in her suv where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat.

"NO!" yelled the blonde.

The guy just figured that she wasn't ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again.

"NO!" the blonde yelled again.

Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped.

"Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?" asked the guy.

"For the last time, NO!" said the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asked, "Well, why the hell not?"

The blonde looked at him and said, "Because I wanna stay up here with you."
7 yr itch

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#9
Dec 6, 2010
 
blond wrote:
whats the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blond.....ones a fony buck
the others a bony *uck
Sounds like a BB&T drive thru teller we all know and love.
7 yr itch

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#10
Dec 6, 2010
 

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What do you call a skinny blond with 90% of her intelligence gone?......divorced.
almost a year ago

Mooresville, NC

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#11
Dec 7, 2010
 

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her SUV, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny? The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!

“Seeking reality & civilization”

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#12
Dec 8, 2010
 

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Then there was the blonde who stood in front of the ATM for hours. Someone called the police, & the cop asked if she was ok. She said NO, all these buttons have those little bumps on them and I don't know braille.
blond

Matthews, NC

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#13
Dec 12, 2010
 

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Q: What's the difference between the skinny blonde and an ironing board?
A: It's quite difficult opening the legs of an Ironing Board.
LMAO

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#15
Dec 14, 2010
 

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Q. What did the skinny little trailer trash bottle blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A. Nothing, they haven't met!
LMAO

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#16
Dec 14, 2010
 

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Q. What's a skinny little trailer trash bottle blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A. Humpme Dumpme
whos dumb

Matthews, NC

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#17
Dec 14, 2010
 

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Three hillbillies were sitting on the porch. The first hillbilly said "My wife is so dumb, yesterday she drug home a refrigerator and tv, and we ain't even got electricity!" The second hillbilly said "My wife is stupider than yers, yesterday she brings home a washer and dryer, and we ain't even got runnin water!"
The third hillbilly said "My wife is even stupider! Yesterday I was in the kitchen and I saw her purse on the table and inside there was a bunch of rubbers layin there... and she ain't even got a dick!"

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#18
Dec 14, 2010
 

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Ya'll are just too funny!!!! Now I got to go change my britches!

Since: Jan 09

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#19
Dec 14, 2010
 

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whos dumb wrote:
Three hillbillies were sitting on the porch. The first hillbilly said "My wife is so dumb, yesterday she drug home a refrigerator and tv, and we ain't even got electricity!" The second hillbilly said "My wife is stupider than yers, yesterday she brings home a washer and dryer, and we ain't even got runnin water!"
The third hillbilly said "My wife is even stupider! Yesterday I was in the kitchen and I saw her purse on the table and inside there was a bunch of rubbers layin there... and she ain't even got a dick!"
The funny part is two of them are on the town board & the third is a bank teller in town??????????
Norma

Wingate, NC

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#20
Dec 14, 2010
 

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LOL You guys are SOOOOO bad! Santa will think you are naughty!
Coco Chanel

Waxhaw, NC

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#21
Dec 15, 2010
 
I knew alcohol was not the real problem.


Please, be safe and take care of yourself this Christmas. A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of holiday season traffic accidents are alcohol related.
This means that the remaining 77% are caused by assholes who just drink coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, milk, water, and shit like that. Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents.

This message is sent by someone who cares about your well being.

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