9 year old child ends up home alone ...

9 year old child ends up home alone in virginia beach

There are 27 comments on the LEAH LLOYD on Topix.net story from Jan 19, 2006, titled 9 year old child ends up home alone in virginia beach. In it, LEAH LLOYD on Topix.net reports that:

WENSEDAY MY NINE YEAR NINE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WAS LEFT HOME ALONE FOR TWO AND A HALF HOURS AFTER A VIRGINIA BEACH PUBLIC SCHOOL PUT HER ON THE WRONG BUS.

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mary

United States

#1 Feb 14, 2006
i think its the schools fault not the child, they are surpose to prtect the children how stupid can one be.and they atta know what bus she goes on wake up people thats why so many kids end up missing cause of stupid people or staff thats to busy mindig others then what they are surpose to do,you the parnents do the right thing,id not trust no one
Lynn

Virginia Beach, VA

#2 Feb 15, 2006
I have something to add to this. Here is my story. Two days ago child came home to find that his parents were not home. Note: Child is only 6 years old and mother doesn’t work. I did what I thought every parent should do and brought him in my house. Didn’t think that this would be a problem because he is in my house on average three times a week (with his parents permission). When the mother came home she didn’t come looking for him. Since she didn’t come looking for him, I took him home to find her sitting in the chair. When asked what she would like for me to do in such situations, she replied.“Nothing, I expect him to come home and sit on the porch” Very snobby. I informed her that CPS probably would not like that and went home. The next morning I was told, by her that if her son steps foot in my house again that she would have me arrested for kidnapping and if I step foot on her property again she would have me arrested for trespass. All this because I tried to save a little 6 year old. Enough of the story.
Here is what I have found out.

Virginia only required kindergarteners to be met at the bus. All others are on their own.
There is no law that states the age a child can be left alone. Only guidelines.
If you try to help a neighbor’s child, you could get screwed.
You have no duty. It’s better to do nothing.
One more note: There is a registered sex offender who lived on this road. He is not registered there now but his mother lives there and he visits often.(This fact is known by the parents)
This child now walks home alone just because his mother wants to make a point that she was right about the law on kids walking home alone. All while she sits at in her recliner.
What do you think about these VA laws? Would love to hear what others think.
Me-Me

AOL

#5 Apr 15, 2006
How nasty of a person could you be to feel comfortable about calling a 9 year old CHILD such nasty names? I feels sorry for your children and your children children. I wonder how much intelligence did your mother have when teaching you as a child. May God find you in your Midnight hour and save you soul from Hell!
Rachel

Greenbackville, VA

#6 Apr 25, 2006
I agree, i had custidy of my neice for two years who was 9yrs old. I do agree in someways i'm surprised the little girl didn't know what bus she was supposed to ride... BUT saying that someone should have helped her, we would hope the bus driver. I know when i was little the bus drivers knew what kids were on their bus you couldn't make a mistake and take the wrong but most the time the bus driver asked who you were with or where you were going and if you didn't have an answer you went to the office to figure it out.
Children don't know what to do unless they are told what to do. So maybe her parent didn't tell her. Also my niece has Asburgers sindrom so she REALLY doesn't know what to do unless told and she goes to public school in a normal class and rides regular busses no one would know she had the prob. unless they talked to her mom or teacher. So i would be assamed of myself if i was cathy... You don't know every childs state of mind just becuase they are in public school or a certain age doesn't mean they can do what your child does. I feel sorry for your children if you dec. just becuase they are a certain age or does a certain thing means they are stupid when the get lost... people do it all the time.
Pete

United States

#10 May 3, 2006
Too bad your neighbor is a nut...you did the right thing and she knows it. You are better off staying away from her. It's unfortunate for the child...who seems to need you more than his/her mother!
Lynn wrote:
I have something to add to this. Here is my story. Two days ago child came home to find that his parents were not home. Note: Child is only 6 years old and mother doesn’t work. I did what I thought every parent should do and brought him in my house. Didn’t think that this would be a problem because he is in my house on average three times a week (with his parents permission). When the mother came home she didn’t come looking for him. Since she didn’t come looking for him, I took him home to find her sitting in the chair. When asked what she would like for me to do in such situations, she replied.“Nothing, I expect him to come home and sit on the porch” Very snobby. I informed her that CPS probably would not like that and went home. The next morning I was told, by her that if her son steps foot in my house again that she would have me arrested for kidnapping and if I step foot on her property again she would have me arrested for trespass. All this because I tried to save a little 6 year old. Enough of the story.
Here is what I have found out.
Virginia only required kindergarteners to be met at the bus. All others are on their own.
There is no law that states the age a child can be left alone. Only guidelines.
If you try to help a neighbor’s child, you could get screwed.
You have no duty. It’s better to do nothing.
One more note: There is a registered sex offender who lived on this road. He is not registered there now but his mother lives there and he visits often.(This fact is known by the parents)
This child now walks home alone just because his mother wants to make a point that she was right about the law on kids walking home alone. All while she sits at in her recliner.
What do you think about these VA laws? Would love to hear what others think.
jamie

Norfolk, VA

#11 May 5, 2006
it is not the schools, or the bus drivers fault. im not going to say that it was your daughters fault either but at 9 these kids are learning responsability at school and should be at home i am a school bus driver and i have an 11 yr old. at your childs age and grade level they are sent to the busses and it is up to them to get on there bus. she got on the wrong bus, that was her fault teachers dont hold 9 yr olds hands and walk them they would learn nothing that way your child should have had a key or an emergancy contact person that you and your child could trust in case of a situation like this. if your child noticed that no one was home and that she had got on the wrong her bus driver would not have let her off.
Stacy

Norfolk, VA

#13 Aug 29, 2006
I agree. I work as a Sub Teacher in Norfolk. Kids are dismissed from there classes and go to the buses alone after the first two weeks of school. Its not the kids fault, it is the mom's fault for not providing the child with keys and/or a back up place to go (neighbor). Furthermore the child's life so confussing that she must remember which of 2 buses to get on each day. I have provided my oldest a set of house keys from about age 8, just in case.
jamie wrote:
it is not the schools, or the bus drivers fault. im not going to say that it was your daughters fault either but at 9 these kids are learning responsability at school and should be at home i am a school bus driver and i have an 11 yr old. at your childs age and grade level they are sent to the busses and it is up to them to get on there bus. she got on the wrong bus, that was her fault teachers dont hold 9 yr olds hands and walk them they would learn nothing that way your child should have had a key or an emergancy contact person that you and your child could trust in case of a situation like this. if your child noticed that no one was home and that she had got on the wrong her bus driver would not have let her off.
Carrie

Virginia Beach, VA

#14 Mar 6, 2007
I work at a school, and for a lot of kids it's a miracle that any of them go home the right way. It's not the teachers fault. It's not the schools fault. It cerainly isn't the child's fault. It's the parents fault! If you are changing the child's method of going home every other day, or better yet calling in at 2:15 to change it, how is the teacher (with 10 other students' parents calling in as well) or your child supposed to know how to go home each day? If you want to be SURE your child goes home the right way each day, pick ONE method of going home and stick with it every day! If it's home, Childtime or even parent pickup, then let them go home that way every day. No one will get confused, and your child will have less stress, because they will know what to expect.
runcorn

London, UK

#15 Apr 3, 2007
my son was playing football with his freind the ball accidently went on the nabours drive and he came out and started being nasty to my son by pointing his finger at him and shouting in a threatening manner what should i do this is not the first time this has happened.
maria meza

Everett, WA

#16 Apr 12, 2007
do what u gota do
harrassedbyex

Newport News, VA

#17 Mar 8, 2008
My ex moved out of state and now tries to micromanage my parenting from thousands of miles away! He called the morning care where my son attends to try to get some list of dates that my son was not there. My son is 10 years old and sometimes he likes to take the bus and not go to early care. He is home for 20 minutes before going to the bus, but we have a lady staying with us who is home and so he is supervised. The fact is, he is mature enough to go to the bus without reminding and is on time. What really blows my mind is that the father is degrading our routine to our son and making him feel bad about things. The fact is, it is working and we are happy. My son is not in any danger and we like the flexibility. So what's the big deal? How can we stop the bitter ex from making life so hard on the kids?- Please send me your thoughts and comments!
Idontknow

Virginia Beach, VA

#18 May 7, 2008
If there is no law that states you have to be home when your 9-12 year old arrives then why do parents get harrassed. I find myself in a dilemma. I have called Police, Social services and the courts to find out if there is a law. THERE IS NONE. A friend of mine said if I leave my children alone (they are 11), he will call the cops. So could someone please tell me what in the heck is the law?
Nancy

Washington, DC

#19 Jun 18, 2008
I found this on a County Website. It is not a law, but guidelines.

7 years & under: Should not be left alone for any period of time. This may include leaving children unattended in cars,playgrounds, and backyards. The determining consideration would be the dangers in the environment and the ability of the caretaker to intervene.
8 to 10 years: Should not be left alone for more than 1½ hours and only during daylight and early evening hours.
11 to 12 years: May be left alone for up to 3 hours but not late at night or in circumstances requiring inappropriate responsibility.
13 to 15 years: May be left unsupervised, but not overnight.
16 to 17 years: May be left unsupervised. In some cases, for up to two consecutive overnight periods.
Mandy

Virginia Beach, VA

#20 Jul 19, 2008
I think Nancy has the best answeres. My daughter is 11 and very mature for her age. I was wondering myself what the legal age or guidelines were. That really helps. Thanks Nancy
MayLee

Norfolk, VA

#21 May 20, 2009
I have a 12 yr old daughter who is very mature for her age that I trust would be responsible if left at home alone, which I have left at home alone just to run around the corner and back but my 8 yr old I would not leave at home alone even if she was ten because of her maturity level. I feel you need to really know your kids. You know their behaviors and the personality. You must use your best judgement.
gossipchickblog

Mchenry, IL

#22 Jul 29, 2009
hey gossipchick here from the gossip.chick blog! heyyyerzzz! wel i disagree w/all of u guys!, i think this is partially the childs fault because she is 9 y/o and should know the people on her bus and she should just know where to go after school. she should also know how to SPEAK UP! You need to get the stick out of your butt... this has nothing to do w/god!!!!! thanx... bye!!!!!
gossipchickblog

Mchenry, IL

#23 Jul 29, 2009
hey again, this is gossipchick! i think that this is a bunch of balogna! i started staying home alone when i was 8 y/o and guess what?... i'm still here nothing has happened to me! it all depends on how matureyou are @ what age you are. give your kid a chance with a trial run! trust the world! peace.love.gossip
Concerned Father

Idaho Falls, ID

#24 Oct 4, 2009
runcorn wrote:
my son was playing football with his freind the ball accidently went on the nabours drive and he came out and started being nasty to my son by pointing his finger at him and shouting in a threatening manner what should i do this is not the first time this has happened.
You should tell your kid to stay out of his yard. If it has happened before there is obviously a history building. Next time you go get the ball and see if you get the same reaction.
Dac

Midlothian, VA

#25 Jan 5, 2010
Let me just say that I think our kids should be prepared and have a plan in place if they were to come home and find no one there. We don't want to put fear into our kids..they just need to know things do not always go as planned..we need to teach them to be good decision makers. I have 2 boys 8 and 9...the guidlines state they can be home 1 1/2 hours alone a day. My boys get themselves on and off the bus...I of course have given them very strict guidelines to follow. What a sense of accomplishment they have. They are learning what it is too have responsiblity. My point is they need to be prepared for all circumstances.
Janet

Virginia Beach, VA

#26 Apr 16, 2010
My daughter was sent home on the bus when she was in a Va Beach school Kindergarten!!! I never called to change or wrote a note changing the way she was ever picked up. Her daycare bus came to the school to pick her up EVERY DAY. How was that my fault!! I am sure you will think of something, being you seem to push the blame on everyone else but yourself!!
Carrie wrote:
I work at a school, and for a lot of kids it's a miracle that any of them go home the right way. It's not the teachers fault. It's not the schools fault. It cerainly isn't the child's fault. It's the parents fault! If you are changing the child's method of going home every other day, or better yet calling in at 2:15 to change it, how is the teacher (with 10 other students' parents calling in as well) or your child supposed to know how to go home each day? If you want to be SURE your child goes home the right way each day, pick ONE method of going home and stick with it every day! If it's home, Childtime or even parent pickup, then let them go home that way every day. No one will get confused, and your child will have less stress, because they will know what to expect.

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