Bullying in Vernon
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plant

Vernon, NJ

#1 Aug 10, 2011
Any parent out there have a child bullied in Vernon? Seems to be that VTHS as well as the Vernon Detectives look the other way and in many ways support this kind of behavior. Maybe the "apple didn't fall from the tree"; but, where I grew up bullies got what they deserved. In Vernon, they are rewarded for their actions!
srl

Sparta, NJ

#2 Aug 11, 2011
thats really sad if the detectives don't take care of the problems..i agree with you that bullies should get what they deserve, but where is a poor kid supposed to go? thats a shame to think their parents are aware and do nothing about it...what about the school itself??
plant

Vernon, NJ

#3 Aug 11, 2011
srl wrote:
thats really sad if the detectives don't take care of the problems..i agree with you that bullies should get what they deserve, but where is a poor kid supposed to go? thats a shame to think their parents are aware and do nothing about it...what about the school itself??
VTHS does absolutely nothing about bullying and in fact, some of their own teachers ae the worst bullies. My daughter was accused of showing cleavage at school (not much you can do to hid a size D chest) and the Vice Principal, at the time, had 12 inches of cleavage staring me in the face when I saw her. This township has gone to hell in a handbag. It's a shame, it used to be nice; but, the young patrolman that are now detectives and the young teachers and administrators in the school system are of the generation that started the whole "all about me" generation. I grocery shop and do my banking out of town just to avoid the aggressive and obnoxious people in this town.
Smitty

Bernhards Bay, NY

#4 Aug 24, 2011
Why should the police be expected to control a bully? It is the responsiblity of the PARENTS of that child to correct one who thinks its ok to frighten/harrass another student. Make a call to the home of the bully, speak to the parents and see what the results bring. If they don't seem to think its a problem, perhaps a group with common interests should handle the problem. It isn't the job of the police UNLESS the bully has a weapon. Then it becomes their job to take on the task.

Cleavage, provided the entire or most isn't hanging out shouldn't be a problem. A "D" cup cannot be hidden unless a tight sports bra is worn all the time. There is no way any young girl should be made to feel ashamed of what the good Lord gave her! I am amazed at the stupid people breathing the air.
Smitty

Bernhards Bay, NY

#5 Aug 24, 2011
PS: Although it would bring suspension why not wack this person right in the eye? At that point the school might have to take charger of the bully and unfortunately the student who stood up for themselves. Good luck, hit fast and hard as you can.
picture

Jersey City, NJ

#6 Aug 25, 2011
Smitty wrote:
PS: Although it would bring suspension why not wack this person right in the eye? At that point the school might have to take charger of the bully and unfortunately the student who stood up for themselves. Good luck, hit fast and hard as you can.
Man wouldn't that be great to be able to do; but, in this day, bullies can keep bullying but, if you beat up the bully, you're charged with assault. Back in the day, it was acceptable to shut the bully up; but, now you go to jail and the bully can keep flapping their filthy jaws. No such thing anymore as knowing or learning the "gift of shut up". Vernon is filled with "big talk and no action" because they know they can get away with it.
Smitty

Belmont, MA

#7 Aug 25, 2011
Going to jail for stopping a bully, really? What has this world come to? When did todays generation decide that this is OK? It appears some things shouldn't change. Again, since the school and the police don't seem to be able to control this nonsence, try the parents. Let them know there child is NOT acting in a resonable way, but in fact is behaving like a thug. If that doesn't work, take the risk and slug them! Going to jail for defending ones rights seems a little unreasonable. Perhaps a judge/court system could enforce some kind of agreement for the bully to stay away, or perhaps for the parents of the bully to repremand their offspring. Good luck!
Bella

Newton, NJ

#8 Aug 27, 2011
I have had two children go through the Vernon school system and still have one in the high school and it is my opinion that Vernon High School is headed for a serious issue. It is going to take a student suicide before they wake up and smell the coffee. My daughter has had food, and FORKS thrown at her in the cafeteria and has told me that the teacher on duty looks the other way. It sounds to me that her experience was more boys not knowing how to express liking her vs bullying HOWEVER why did the teacher look the other way? In another instance, a boy was making comments on her body shape and calling her names. A teacher was standing right next to him and said nothing until my daughter swore at the boy and told him to leave her alone. When my daughter asked why she let the boy say the things he did the teacher replied "he is my student, not you". She does not have my daughter in any of her classes. I feel bad for teachers these days because they are expected to do more than just teaching but the facts are that is what the job has turned into and if you dont like it or dont want to deal with it then teaching is not the profession for you. As a parent I expect that ANY adult that hears, or sees bullying happening on school property will stop it and if the teachers at Vernon High School feel it is not in their job description or up to them to get involved then I hope they can sleep at night when something happens that they could of prevented.
Bella

Newton, NJ

#9 Aug 27, 2011
Smitty wrote:
PS: Although it would bring suspension why not wack this person right in the eye? At that point the school might have to take charger of the bully and unfortunately the student who stood up for themselves. Good luck, hit fast and hard as you can.
hahahahaha....suspension?!?!?! ?!? How about now jail time to go along with that suspension. If someone was to harass me or get physical with me at my work place they would get fired, if someone was to harass me and or get physical with me on the streets then the police would get involved. Why would the police NOT get involved in a situation where a high school student is getting harassed and or someone getting physical with them when they are trying to just go to school? I think you are not understanding the meaning of bullying these days. It is not just saying words - look at the cases across the country. We have parents helping bullying kids create fake facebook accounts to harass kids to the point that one committed suicide ! We have kids throwing FORKS and other objects at other kids in the cafeteria. We have kids beating up other kids in the parking lot after school. We have kids doing damage to other kids cars in the senior parking lot. This is a serious issue and the police need to get MORE involved.
Bella

Newton, NJ

#10 Aug 27, 2011
Smitty wrote:
Why should the police be expected to control a bully? It is the responsiblity of the PARENTS of that child to correct one who thinks its ok to frighten/harrass another student. Make a call to the home of the bully, speak to the parents and see what the results bring. If they don't seem to think its a problem, perhaps a group with common interests should handle the problem. It isn't the job of the police UNLESS the bully has a weapon. Then it becomes their job to take on the task.
Cleavage, provided the entire or most isn't hanging out shouldn't be a problem. A "D" cup cannot be hidden unless a tight sports bra is worn all the time. There is no way any young girl should be made to feel ashamed of what the good Lord gave her! I am amazed at the stupid people breathing the air.
AND BTW.....calling parents I have found is a waste of breath. In my experience the kids that are doing all the nonsense are doing it BECAUSE they are raised to ! I have a conversation with a mother years ago when her son got physical with mine and she actually said to me "so my kid is the only one that does this? give me a break - he is doing what kids do and there is nothing wrong with it" her son ended up getting suspended for it and they live in my neighborhood and I could hear the father yelling at the son that he must not have hit my son hard enough cause he told on him ! that is the type of parents that are out there and that is why we have these bad kids in the schools.
Tom

Warwick, NY

#11 Aug 28, 2011
My daughter went to Vernon schools. Repeated abuse from the same child. They made my Daughter move her seat on the bus like she was the problem. The bully resumed picking on another kid making him cry. The bully still picked on my child. This went on for years. The bully's mother worked in the school system and nothing was done. I had gone to school several occasions. When it got physical, still nothing even though they were running the Anti Bullying Campaigne. Finally after I threatened to report it to the papers, something was done. So from second grade to seventh, this child was able to run their reign of bullying on several victims.
Mike

Highland Lakes, NJ

#12 Aug 29, 2011
I am a teacher and there is no doubt in my mind that this occurs, the part about the teacher looking the other way. Sadly to say there are too many teachers that are afraid to say something to a student and I can't comprehend as to why. You're right, it will take some kind of major event to happen for all the teachers to open their mouth and make that decision to act. This way, in their cowardly little heart, they can feel as if they HAD to say something so that the bully wouldn't blame them. Any teacher that would turn their head is pathetic in my eyes as a teacher and a person. I work cafeteria duty as well and there have been several times where I took students to the VP for language, bullying, throwing food, etc and I would have to look in amazement as the other teacher plays dumb standing right next to the incident. On the other hand, once they are brought to the VP, absolutely nothing is done about the student. More often than not, the student comes prancing on back the next day all proud of the fact that they 'won.' When the students know they can get off scott free, they feel they control the situation, and can do whatever they want. They completely played the VP and the younger VP feels they have a 'cool buddy ' relationship when in fact they just got burned.
picture

Jersey City, NJ

#13 Aug 30, 2011
Bella wrote:
I have had two children go through the Vernon school system and still have one in the high school and it is my opinion that Vernon High School is headed for a serious issue. It is going to take a student suicide before they wake up and smell the coffee. My daughter has had food, and FORKS thrown at her in the cafeteria and has told me that the teacher on duty looks the other way. It sounds to me that her experience was more boys not knowing how to express liking her vs bullying HOWEVER why did the teacher look the other way? In another instance, a boy was making comments on her body shape and calling her names. A teacher was standing right next to him and said nothing until my daughter swore at the boy and told him to leave her alone. When my daughter asked why she let the boy say the things he did the teacher .

replied "he is my student, not you". She does not have my daughter

in any of her classes. I feel bad for teachers these days because

they are expected to do more than just teaching but the facts are that is what the job has turned into and if you dont like it or dont want to deal with it then teaching is not the profession for you. As a parent I expect that ANY adult that hears, or sees bullying happening on school property will stop it and if the teachers at Vernon High School feel it is not in their job description or up to them to get involved then I hope they can sleep at night when something happens that they could of prevented.
Agreed. I have said to both the VTHS staff and the police that the only way bullying will get their attention is when they are attending the funeral of the child that killed herself and now it's a funeral they will attend or direct traffic for. I realize that it's not the police or VTHS fault; but, they need to play a role in helping to put a stop to it or at least educate. I've taken the bullying of my child through the court system and have gotten NOWEHER and in fact the mother of one of the bullies actually provoked me in the hallway so there is no teaching in the home about bullying because the parents are their greatest role models. If only we could teach the bullies the old fashioned way and keep them in their place but, that is not acceptable; your child just gets charged with assault even though they are a minor defending them against girls that are now adults. Just don't understand what the solution can be.
picture

Jersey City, NJ

#14 Aug 30, 2011
Tom wrote:
My daughter went to Vernon schools. Repeated abuse from the same child. They made my Daughter move her seat on the bus like she was the problem. The bully resumed picking on another kid making him cry. The bully still picked on my child. This went on for years. The bully's mother worked in the school system and nothing was done. I had gone to school several occasions. When it got physical, still nothing even though they were running the Anti Bullying Campaigne. Finally after I threatened to report it to the papers, something was done. So from second grade to seventh, this child was able to run their reign of bullying on several victims.
I don't know if it's a matter of establishing some type of support group or at least get together to discuss the steps we've all taken to stop the bullying and brainstorm on options available to help stop the bullying before a tragedy occurs. I have spent a great deal of money hiring attornies to help but local politics really gets in the way and no one seems to take it seriously; seems like its an acceptable right of passage of some teenagers in this town. I'm available if anyone wants to form a support group or advocacy group for stoping bullying in town. Any volunteers?
Pool

Jersey City, NJ

#15 Aug 30, 2011
Bella wrote:
I have had two children go through the Vernon school system and still have one in the high school and it is my opinion that Vernon High School is headed for a serious issue. It is going to take a student suicide before they wake up and smell the coffee. My daughter has had food, and FORKS thrown at her in the cafeteria and has told me that the teacher on duty looks the other way. It sounds to me that her experience was more boys not knowing how to express liking her vs bullying HOWEVER why did the teacher look the other way? In another instance, a boy was making comments on her body shape and calling her names. A teacher was standing right next to him and said nothing until my daughter swore at the boy and told him to leave her alone. When my daughter asked why she let the boy say the things he did the teacher replied "he is my student, not you". She does not have my daughter in any of her classes. I feel bad for teachers these days because they are expected to do more than just teaching but the facts are that is what the job has turned into and if you dont like it or dont want to deal with it then teaching is not the profession for you. As a parent I expect that ANY adult that hears, or sees bullying happening on school property will stop it and if the teachers at Vernon High School feel it is not in their job description or up to them to get involved then I hope they can sleep at night when something happens that they could of prevented.
Totally feel your pain here. I have spoken with friends that live in other counties and they just can't believe what happens here in Vernon with bullying. The Vernon Detectives, a good portion of the Vernon teachers and the parents of the bullies really seem to enjoy watching and seeing the children get bullied. I have exercised many avenues to get it to stop; municipal complaints, superior court complaints, etc. with no success. If my child commits suicide as a result of the conintual bullying a price will then be paid by all involved.
Smitty

Concord, NH

#16 Aug 31, 2011
Good grief! I read all the posts and have decided when some student brings a gun to school and opens fire I will understand exactly why they did so.

I do NOT condone such an action but understand from my own childhood how MEAN kids can be and how MANY parents seem to think its OK for their little darling to cause pain BUT, if their darling is on the reciving end, I can assure you they will hollar like hell!(Bullying happened to my child for several years, until he left the bully screaming on the ground, then the same mother who thought "Boy's will be boys" had the nerve to ring my doorbell, I slammed it right in her face!"

THAT'S WHEN THE PARENTS OF THE OPPOSITE CHILD SAYS: "OH WELL CHILDREN WILL BE CHILDREN". sad huh?
Bella

High Bridge, NJ

#17 Sep 1, 2011
Governor Christie just passed an anti bullying law today. will be interesting to see how VTHS handles this and if they form the group within the H.S. as requested by the state of NJ. http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2011/01/gov_...
Bella

High Bridge, NJ

#18 Sep 1, 2011
picture wrote:
<quoted text> I don't know if it's a matter of establishing some type of support group or at least get together to discuss the steps we've all taken to stop the bullying and brainstorm on options available to help stop the bullying before a tragedy occurs. I have spent a great deal of money hiring attornies to help but local politics really gets in the way and no one seems to take it seriously; seems like its an acceptable right of passage of some teenagers in this town. I'm available if anyone wants to form a support group or advocacy group for stoping bullying in town. Any volunteers?
I would volunteer in a heart beat ! Lets see if the H.S. forms the group themself as mandated in the new anti bullying law just passed in NJ today. I am hoping they do and get on board with Governor Christie's efforts to control this issue.
Jif

Jersey City, NJ

#19 Sep 1, 2011
Bella wrote:
<quoted text>
I would volunteer in a heart beat ! Lets see if the H.S. forms the group themself as mandated in the new anti bullying law just passed in NJ today. I am hoping they do and get on board with Governor Christie's efforts to control this issue.
Local police and municipal courts, while they may be overwhelmed with drug issues, they need to take bullying complaints much more serious. It's a joke to them until a tragedy occurs. They take "soccer mom" bullying much more serious then they do when young adults and children are bullied as if it's just a rite of passage.
18Jean19

High Bridge, NJ

#20 Sep 2, 2011
Mike wrote:
I am a teacher and there is no doubt in my mind that this occurs, the part about the teacher looking the other way. Sadly to say there are too many teachers that are afraid to say something to a student and I can't comprehend as to why. You're right, it will take some kind of major event to happen for all the teachers to open their mouth and make that decision to act. This way, in their cowardly little heart, they can feel as if they HAD to say something so that the bully wouldn't blame them. Any teacher that would turn their head is pathetic in my eyes as a teacher and a person. I work cafeteria duty as well and there have been several times where I took students to the VP for language, bullying, throwing food, etc and I would have to look in amazement as the other teacher plays dumb standing right next to the incident. On the other hand, once they are brought to the VP, absolutely nothing is done about the student. More often than not, the student comes prancing on back the next day all proud of the fact that they 'won.' When the students know they can get off scott free, they feel they control the situation, and can do whatever they want. They completely played the VP and the younger VP feels they have a 'cool buddy ' relationship when in fact they just got burned.
Personally I think when kids go to college to become teachers that a class on recognizing and dealing with bullying should be on the curriculum. Start it at the very beginning so they know what to expect and how to deal with it when hey get into the workforce. Also how about goals and objectives for teachers that address bullying and dealing with it appropriately in the school. We also have this yearly teacher convention that the schools close for so that the teachers can attend. Maybe all the teachers should actually attend and there can be brush up sessions on bullying.

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