Inside Vernon Schools

Inside Vernon Schools

Posted in the Vernon Forum

concerned mom

West New York, NJ

#1 Sep 7, 2011
I have a daughter just entering Lounsberry Hollow and I am having serious second thoughts about this school system. Funny- or not so funny- that the last two posts here are about heroin and bullying. Can anyone who has been through the vernon school system or has had children in the schools recently tell me what the middle school/high school are really like? I understand you can encounter bullying and drugs anywhere, but it seems so much more prevelant here in vernon. Wondering if I should move my daughter now (thinking of private school)... dont want to put her in an environment where drugs/aggression/lack of supportive school/community make growing up harder/riskier than it has to be.

Any input would be appreciated.
HLGuy

Round Rock, TX

#2 Sep 7, 2011
Smitty's post here sums it up perfectly:

http://www.topix.com/forum/city/vernon-nj/TNF...
Smitty

Marathon, NY

#3 Sep 7, 2011
My kids went through the Vernon school system, and are college graduates. They did the expermental thing most ever kid does BUT they came to me and told me what they did, how it effected them and why they weren't going to do it again. For that I am greatful. I managed to have a truthful relationship with them BECAUSE I didn't scare them with punishment for the deeds. They knew they could call me whatever time they needed to and if they needed to be picked up THERE WERE NO QUESTIONS ASKED! PS: This was very hard on me but I never pumped them for information, I respected their privacy. Several times I was summoned for a ride away from something they knew they weren't supposed to be doing.

Today while they are in their 40's with families of their own they still won't lie. I notice they teach their children the difference between right and wrong and they TALK to them about anything the child has an interest in. They are included in just about everything and enjoyed to the fullest. This includes doing the right thing....it's not so hard it simply takes an effort to stop and listen to that sometimes nagging voice asking questions when you are tired and want the voices to stop, they need those answers! Give it a try it really works.

Have a little faith in yourself too. Understand if they know they can come to you with anything WITHOUT JUDGEMENT they most certainly will! Good luck.
Bella

High Bridge, NJ

#4 Sep 7, 2011
Smitty wrote:
My kids went through the Vernon school system, and are college graduates. They did the expermental thing most ever kid does BUT they came to me and told me what they did, how it effected them and why they weren't going to do it again. For that I am greatful. I managed to have a truthful relationship with them BECAUSE I didn't scare them with punishment for the deeds. They knew they could call me whatever time they needed to and if they needed to be picked up THERE WERE NO QUESTIONS ASKED! PS: This was very hard on me but I never pumped them for information, I respected their privacy. Several times I was summoned for a ride away from something they knew they weren't supposed to be doing.
Today while they are in their 40's with families of their own they still won't lie. I notice they teach their children the difference between right and wrong and they TALK to them about anything the child has an interest in. They are included in just about everything and enjoyed to the fullest. This includes doing the right thing....it's not so hard it simply takes an effort to stop and listen to that sometimes nagging voice asking questions when you are tired and want the voices to stop, they need those answers! Give it a try it really works.
Have a little faith in yourself too. Understand if they know they can come to you with anything WITHOUT JUDGEMENT they most certainly will! Good luck.
Very Smart ! I have raised my kids the same way and they also have turned out great. My parents when I was a teenager scared the shit out of me with threats and "spanking" (aka beatings) and never respected my privacy and I was a horrible teenager and lied to them about EVERYTHING. You are correct that your way of doing things works. Kids need to know that they can come to their parents not be afraid to tell them things. I hear all the time from parents how they feel the need to stalk and hound the crap out of their kids. Some of their kids and are friends of my kids and tell me things they say they would never tell their parents. Sad - I most likely know more about other peoples kids than they do. Clear - cut rules and expectations is all that is needed and an open line of communication. Having said this I will say a couple things about Vernon schools. I have two kids in college that went through Vernon schools and one still in the H.S. My two in college are on academic scholarships and doing fantastic. The guidance counselors at the H.S. are inadequate. Both my college kids were on top of their H.S. classes / investigated what classes they should be taking for the college / career they wanted to pursue without much help from guidance. So help your kids through that part of the process and know that they will not get much assistance from guidance. There is a lot of bullying and not just by the kids. The teachers and administrators are just as bad if not worse. This to me is the biggest problem at the h.s Alot of the teachers at the H.S. need to get a reality check and understand they are not actually in H.S. but a teacher and stop getting involved in arguments and picking sides in those arguments. The drugs and bullying by the kids will happen everywhere - even at private schools. Overall I would let my kids go through the Vernon H.S. again. Every school has their problems and are never going to be perfect just be aware of the areas that are inadequate and help your kids through it. Everything Smitty wrote I ditto....
concerned mom

Sussex, NJ

#5 Sep 8, 2011
thank you for your responses, that is encouraging. one thing I do with my daughter is TALK, and as of fifth grade she still tells me what's going on, and she'll tell me someone got in trouble for something at school. we'll talk about how she should handle a similar situation, what to say, etc. I also keep her involved in her interests, reading/writing, music/drama.

I've just heard so much lately about the drug problem here, and that it starts in middle school. Wasnt aware of the bullying, so thanks I will keep an eye out for that.

And congratulations to Bella and Smitty, sounds like good parenting and good kids!
DRAGONFLIES HAIRDAYSPA

Sussex, NJ

#6 Sep 9, 2011
Private schools aren't your best bet either. Pope John has a bad rep for drugs in school too... Nick names "Pope Dope" by the students.
vtm

Blairstown, NJ

#7 Sep 20, 2011
DRAGONFLIES HAIRDAYSPA wrote:
Private schools aren't your best bet either. Pope John has a bad rep for drugs in school too... Nick names "Pope Dope" by the students.
Immaculate Conception in Franklin is a wonderful school. Financial aid is available. Pope John is wonderful. People often bad mouth it because they don't send their children there. Random drug testing is what makes it a great safe environment and quite frankly children are thrown out if they are not abiding by the rules.
Smitty

Schodack Landing, NY

#8 Sep 20, 2011
Random drug testing by the school system isn’t a good thing, it has a double edged sword and here’s why. Children will experiment. I’m not condoning the experimentation however, most will do it at least one time. Wouldn’t it be horrible for YOUR child to experiment that one stupid time and be labeled a druggie forever by the system. It more than likely will go into the kids record and be passed on right through college or when they apply for a job in the real world (not sure if that’s allowed but I suppose if school records go with the student the college/workplace sees that footnote too).

I can understand the school taking a stand if a child is acting out of the normal and I would presume that the cause is taking something illegal BUT I believe this should be handled by their parents. Again this means paying attention to your kid. Most parents know their child’s behavior pattern and could tell much faster than a teacher or school administrator if something isn’t quite right. Parenting isn’t an easy job, it takes a lot of time out from the adults personal being. Parents chose to bring a child into this world they child had no vote so again get up off your duff and pay attention to YOUR responsibility. Get hold of yourself and buy the test then stand there while they submit to it. This is how a drug test is done in the real world, the person who has to take it also has to urinate in front of the tester, how embarrassing. You're their parent it shouldn't be that bad.
FAnnunz

Newton, NJ

#9 May 21, 2012
RealitySucks

Lake Hiawatha, NJ

#10 May 22, 2012
Talk about a one-sided article- as expected from an online rag.
Thinking Resident

Lebanon, NJ

#11 May 22, 2012
That is because FAnnunz and the editor are best buddies. I am told that if you have met the kid involved you would realize that acorn did not fall far from the tree. The father certainly has anger management issues and blames others for his ongoing financial problems.
FAnnunz

Newton, NJ

#12 May 22, 2012
Thinking Resident wrote:
That is because FAnnunz and the editor are best buddies. I am told that if you have met the kid involved you would realize that acorn did not fall far from the tree. The father certainly has anger management issues and blames others for his ongoing financial problems.
hitting the bottle again rob
Concerned resident

Lebanon, NJ

#13 May 22, 2012
ANOTHER post from Frank! Enuff said!
Knows the truth

United States

#14 May 23, 2012
FAnnunz wrote:
<quoted text>
hitting the bottle again rob
Really? You little darling has caused more trouble in and outside of the classroom and both you and your wife will take his side and blame everyone and everything else for his rotten behavior. You're not much better on all the Forums you post on either. I want you to know something, there is an entire bus load of kids that are delighted he is NOT going to be riding their bus anymore. He started more fights & carried it into the school building almost on a daily basis. YOU need to wake up and do something before its too late for him. Tell you what clown, if your angel manages to not get into trouble in the new school I’ll apologize to you but if I am correct YOU take that kid and get him straightened out, deal?
Thinking Resident

Lebanon, NJ

#15 May 24, 2012
Was going to give a detailed reply Frank but why bother, others have already said what I would have said and you are not listening to them either.

By the way, who is Rob, someone else you have alienated? Not your fault of course!

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