What does Mitt Romney really believe?
Posted in the Vacaville Forum
#1 Jul 8, 2012
This is from our Brethern at Landover Baptist Church at Freehold, Iowa.
What Does Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney Really Believe?
He believes that Jesus Christ is Satan's brother.
He believes that God lives near a planet called "Kolob."
He believes in baptizing dead people.
He believes that Jesus is married to a goddess wife.
He believes that The Garden of Eden was in Missouri.
He believes that it was impossible for Negroes to go to Heaven before 1978.
He believes that Jesus has children from his wife or wives.
He believes that he is going to become a god.
He believes he will own his own personal planet after he dies.
He believes the real Christian God is not eternal but rather that He was once a man on some other planet besides Earth!
He believes he needs to wear magical underwear created by Mormons and he is never to take it off unless he is bathing.
He believes it is a sin to drink anything containing caffeine. And that even includes True American™ drinks like Coca-Cola!
He believes children between the ages of 18-21 should wear name badges, ride bicycles and always smile.
#2 Jul 8, 2012
We only think he believes that.
A true mormon is too secretive to share his true beliefs.
#3 Jul 8, 2012
He believes in magic underwear
#4 Jul 9, 2012
Agreed. What else is he being secretive about?
A Mormon in good standing does not question any of the doctrine coming out of Salt Lake City less they find themselves shunned and excommunicated by the Grand Pubah himself, the Prophet, Seer & Revelator.
President Kennedy, a Roman Catholic, would not allow the Vatican run his Presidency. Will Mitt have the same attitude toward Salt Lake City and face the wrath of the Prophet & 12 Apostles?
But then, there's the possibility of 4 more years of Ayatollah Barack HUSSEIN Obama, an illegal alien from Kenya and a moose-lumm.
Either way, our gooses are cooked.
#5 Jul 9, 2012
All theologies are stuffed with preposterous beliefs. The idea of an invisible supernatural being who can read your thoughts is ridiculous on it's face.
#6 Jul 9, 2012
The Mormon god supposedly has a "tangible body of flesh & bones." And as the Mormons like to repeat, "As man is, God once was. As God is, man might become."
All it takes is money & blind obedience.
#7 Jul 9, 2012
Oh! Just like scientology.
#8 Jul 9, 2012
So, do you want a cultist as President of the United States or, an illegal alien Moose-lumm?
Now seems to be the time to give serious consideration to 3rd party candidates.
#9 Jul 9, 2012
Religion will go. It will fade over time. We should not be and will not be choosing political leaders based on which supernatural being they profess to believe in. Faith - believing without evidence - is not a path to truth nor does it confer virtue on the faithful. Pretending to know things you can not possibly know is untenable and unsustainable over time.
#10 Jul 15, 2012
Unless that president injects his religious beliefs into his decision making
#11 Sep 13, 2012
I have been screaming this for at least 20 years now.
Since: Aug 10
#12 Sep 13, 2012
Shouldn't that be,
"our geese are cooked"
#13 Sep 13, 2012
Hoe about this - Our_asses_are_grass?
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