Hayward, CA

#1 Jun 24, 2009

Trolls have existed from the early days of the Internets and Usenet. Before them were the oracles, wizards, scientists, illuminati members, prophets, and natural leaders. Regular and fluid social interaction has kept such people in check, holding them back by fear and thus preventing these positive traits from manifesting. Fortunately, the anonymity the Internet offers, has paradoxically allowed people to show their true selves, with less brainwashing from social institutions.

Thechisa theorizes that ITPD is a mutant strain of the otherkin fixation, and on some subconscious level, its rabid afflicted believe themselves to be actual mythical trolls. There may be some truth to this, as their tendency to also be basement-dwelling nerds approximates the living conditions found underneath a bridge.

Diagnostic Criteria

The troll brain. The Internet Troll Personality Disorder is characterized by attention-seeking and disruptive behavior in anonymous, delocalized places of socializing. It is indicated by the following traits:

The ability to create ideas that flow from person to person nonstop until they have made everyone spend their time in the troll's valuable communique.

Such a brilliant command of social engineering, that the troll can trick others into fighting amongst themselves on the internet endlessly.(i.e., crossposting to two opposing usenet groups, tricking them into starting a flame war, then sitting back and watching the fun.

High intelligence (just misplaced with fantasies of greatness, or gradiosity rather than true intelligence)

High degree of socially manipulative skills
Uses multiple usernames as sock puppets (the more the better).

Establishes dominance in a community by using multiple usernames.


Researchers have experimented with everything from shock therapy to furry porn to castration to treat Internet troll personality disorder with no success. The psychodynamics of this personality disorder indicated that constant asswhooping may be the best treatment. Getting the research sample group out of their respective mothers' basements was difficult, and removing the hamburger and french fries from their hands and mouths was nearly impossible, but a little sunshine and exercise did these creatures good. After being taught the essentials of hygiene and manners, the trolls were ready for the treatment: women who really "like" trolls.

Within one week, the severity of the disorder was diminished for every patient, and within three months the patients were all symptom free. But once the ex-trolls looked up from their computers saw how boring they had become, they all committed hara kiri, the Japanese form of suicide designed to restore one's honor after shame.

Current research is investigating the possibility of a relapse into disordered personality function if the patient does not have regular contact with women (this excludes mommy). For those pitiful cases who cannot keep a girlfriend, researchers are considering the role surrogate-girlfriends may play in treatment.

In case of complete failure, the troll simply becomes a stalker, and spends time learning new skills in prison.
The Candy Man

Fair Oaks, CA

#2 Jun 24, 2009

Vacaville, CA

#3 Jun 25, 2009
Is this supposed to be serious or funny?
Lost me, anon.

Norfolk, VA

#5 Feb 18, 2010
It must be some joke: but, definitely paranoid.

San Salvador, El Salvador

#6 Mar 31, 2010
I think an internet troll wrote it

“The Happy One”

Since: Mar 10

Location hidden

#8 Mar 31, 2010
Narcissistic personality disorder

Narcissistic personality disorder is a condition in which there is an inflated sense of self-importance and an extreme preoccupation with one's self.

A person with narcissistic personality disorder:

* Reacts to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation
* Takes advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals
* Has feelings of self-importance
* Exaggerates achievements and talents
* Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love
* Has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
* Requires constant attention and admiration
* Disregards the feelings of others, lacks empathy
* Has obsessive self-interest
* Pursues mainly selfish goals

Please get help

Martinez, CA

#9 Apr 10, 2010
The first post is too verbose. The average Topix reader will give up on reading it after yhe third or fourth paragraph. The average Vacaville reader will just go Huh?

Vacaville, CA

#10 Apr 10, 2010
"too verbose" redundant

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