ungrateful children

Level 3

Since: Jul 10

Location hidden

#52 Sep 10, 2013
hark wrote:
<quoted text>
Actually, it must really suck to be your parents to be cursed with the likes of you as a child. You must have been damaged DNA, a freak of nature, a trisomy of some sort, a mutation because no one could have done that bad a job at childrearing to produce a head case like you. You owe your parents an apology for existing.
Wrong on all counts. But, thank you for playing!
LiveFromMomsBase ment

Oriskany, NY

#53 Sep 10, 2013
Dear Mom and Dad,
This is a letter of apology and resolution. I am sorry for being such a douchbag and sponging off you for so long. What I resolve is to pay the Nat Grid gas, electric, water, cable, internet, phone and county tax bill... With me paying for that, you could save up enough for a vacation, heck maybe even two vacations. Cause the way I figure it, you need to go out and get s**tfaced drunk and party it up. No, seriously. You need to go out and have some fun for a change. So, don't worry if you don't see the bills in the mailbox, I'm taking care of it. Get out of the house, go have fun, you're wasting away in front of the TV every night. Come on! C'MONNNNN!!!!
Worn down

Stoke-on-trent, UK

#54 Sep 10, 2013
I have 3 kids 32, 30 & 36 two girls and a boy in the middle. My eldest has had 3 cars, furniture, deposits, courses holidays etc. she has one son and a lazy arse of a husband. The girls constantly abuse me gang up on me and exclude me Cathryn hate that my son is respectful and asks for nothing. I recently called with ny husband to help clear rubbish from their garden all pre arranged. The rubbish was supposed to have been moved to the front of the house. We called 3 times to say we were on our way and arrived to my son in law still in bed and the rubbish still in the back garden. When he came down he yelled that we had woken him up ringing the phone. We decided to leave and between yelling and shouting he pushed me out of the door telling me to F off out of his house at this point I hit him back. My daughter blames me as my grandson witnessed this. I am always to blame even when all we have done is bailed them out again and again. I apologised for hitting him but not for why. I am appalled that its not ok for me to retaliate but ok for my grandson see his dad treat his grandma this way. My daughters take every opportunity to make me feel bad and laugh at me behind my back. My advice don't try and give your kids a better life then you had. The reason our generation can cope is our parents did not have it to give and we had to make our own way doing without. Me I am just a cashpoint
Anonymous

Arlington Heights, IL

#55 Sep 11, 2013
yorkie wrote:
Tell me of your experiences with your ungrateful young adult(20-26) children who treat their parents like garbage. I'm not talking about negligent parents, drunks, addicts, etc. but parents who did everything possible to raise them with love, care and understanding. The parent's reward at the end of this was to be talked down to, disrespected repeatedly, used and abused. Is this the norm for this age group or are these just selfish worthless brats that never learned a thing inspite of having decent parents.
My son, age 24, and he will remind me that he is 24 and not 10 over and over, resents the fact that I am charging him rent. The nerve of him to think he can be of this age and not pay his way. Previous to this he was not doing any chores or having any responsibilities, so I stepped up things with charging him rent. Oh, btw, I live in a 2 bedroom condo. It is not like I am making him do the lawn or shovel snow. Now within a few weeks he is going to move out. Where I should be proud of him to make this movement, he is making me miserable. To quote the brat, he says....."When you charge me money to live here, I do not owe you time. You decided that." And what about..."You have unrealistic expectations of a mother-son relationship of somebody in their 20's.

Kid needs to be bounced on his head. Don't you think?
one who knows

Carthage, NY

#56 Sep 11, 2013
SusanJudithA wrote:
<quoted text>
My son, age 24, and he will remind me that he is 24 and not 10 over and over, resents the fact that I am charging him rent. The nerve of him to think he can be of this age and not pay his way. Previous to this he was not doing any chores or having any responsibilities, so I stepped up things with charging him rent. Oh, btw, I live in a 2 bedroom condo. It is not like I am making him do the lawn or shovel snow. Now within a few weeks he is going to move out. Where I should be proud of him to make this movement, he is making me miserable. To quote the brat, he says....."When you charge me money to live here, I do not owe you time. You decided that." And what about..."You have unrealistic expectations of a mother-son relationship of somebody in their 20's.
Kid needs to be bounced on his head. Don't you think?
Let him move out - he will come begging in about a few months when he has to pay another month's rent, along with utility bills, food for himself, laundrymat costs, and not having you around to be his sounding board.

My son did this to me when he was only 18. Him and his best friend moved into an apartment together, ate pizza almost every night, and had a blast -until all the bills start coming in and they didn't have the money to pay them!!!!! He came home dragging his tail and apoligizing and said the best words any Mom can hear - "Mom, you were right"!!!!!

Once a child becomes 21, they are considered an adult and you are no longer financially responsible for them. Even Doctor Phil said on his program that the only things a parent is LEGALLY obligated to do for their child is to provide a roof over their head, food to keep them alive, and a bed to sleep in. That's it!!!!! Anything else a parent gives them is from their heart - NOT because "you have to"!!!!!!
Working guy

Scottsdale, AZ

#57 Sep 11, 2013
REALLY wrote:
<quoted text>
The fact that you would pose this question on topix is a red flag that you may not have been half the parent you think you are/were. " selfish worthless brats" WOW, PARENT OF THE YEAR MATERIAL. just saying....
One word for you: "Enabler"
Marino396

Miami, FL

#59 Oct 23, 2013
one who knows wrote:
I raised 4 children as a Single Parent without doing drugs or using alcohol. I always maintained a loving and caring home for all of them and supported all of us on my paycheck without any food stamps, medicaid, or Section 8 help. The 3 oldest children all became very successful in their careers with long term marriages.
My last child was a daughter that was only around 10 years of age when all her brothers and sister were gone leading their own lives, but were always available and kept in contact with us. As a result, this daughter had alot more materialistic gifts than the other children did as it is far easier to support 1 child than it was 4.
This child is now 44, has had 4 children, 3 of which were born to different men, has remained single, and is currently on SS disability from a car accident. I helped raise her 3 oldest children and even took Custody of them when she was sentenced to OCJ for a violation of her probation (petite theft). I helped her financially to be able to live in the nicer sections of Utica, brought most of their clothes, boughts 5 cars for her, and even a house. The 3 oldest ones have all called her their second Mom!
Today, all 3 of these children have left home because of her actions, name calling, and the way she lives her life (associates with druggies and gutter trash). She only has 1 child left with her, a 4 year old son who is starting to believe his mother telling him that I (his Grandma)doesn't care about him (again, everything he pratically owns has been bought from me including 3 expensive cars @$290 -$379 apiece.
This daughter has called me every name under the book - including stupid (I'm a retired professional woman)a scumbag, whore, slut, and even hit me one day while I was driving her to Church!
She is currently living in another house that I own and is slowly destroying it. Evicting her would mean my grandson would have to leave the only home he has ever known and it is located in a quiet and safe neighborhood that she could never be able to afford without the low rent she is currently paying to me.
Any suggestions? Everyone that knows me tells me I do NOT deserve this kind of treatment - even her own 3 older children say the same thing.
I feel your pain ma'am, what I think is that a lot of parents have helped their kids, sometimes we confuse helping with doing it for them, my son is moving into my rental property at a reduced, really reduced rate. The house is in the same development we live in, but get this, he wants his house to have all the upgrades we have in ours that have taken us 30 years to build up, sometimes I see really unfit parents who's kids adore them because they have so few tender loving moments of kindness. And we overcompensate by giving and giving and giving
The only thing keeping me same is dog rescue. Those dogs certainly never let you forget how loved and appreciated you are for rescuing them.
children

Brooklyn, NY

#60 Oct 23, 2013
you know if you would of put your foot up his ass a little more maybe things would have different you know after all that's what do it seems to work.i don't put up with shit from my kids.
Red Flags

Utica, NY

#61 Oct 23, 2013
One your kid meets & hooks up with that significant other....watch out! All it takes is ONE person to ruin a family! This one ruined her family & mine! I owe her sooo much........
motherfedup

Chillicothe, OH

#62 Oct 25, 2013
I have an 18-yr old son who for the past 3 yrs has treated me like dirt. I am the only one who has been to every sporting event, play (all production nights not just one) and every concert. I have bought him 2 cars, 1 for his 16th birthday and the 2nd for his 18th/graduation (same as I did for his sister. however, when i try to parent him on the hard stuff (grades, treating ppl right, telling him when he's wrong or telling him NO) I get cursed at, disrespected, argued with and just treated like crap. Now he's 18 and knows he can play the "I'm leaving and living with dad" card. This last argument I was told I was a horrible mother and he was only living with me for the car. I advised to call his dad and live with him if that's the case because the car is gone. His father and I have been divorced for 11 yrs and he is a very disrespectful person also, who believes woman are basically "emotional little girls who need to be told what to do" so we don't speak much and when we do its never pleasant. Eventually my son came home for about an hour(after a week of staying with friends and 2 nights at his dad and me telling him how much I wanted him home and loved him and we can work stuff out and I was sorry for the way things went), until he started yelling at me again and cursing me out including calling me an F'ing B@#%$(you get it) so I lost it and after about the 4th time he called me an F'ing Bi@## and told me to get the F out and he was leaving, I told him to go. I raised my hand to him but never hit him (and never have). I have had enough. Now his father is telling me that I am a horrible mother and proving I am unfit because I am done taking the verbal abuse. I raised a daughter who never ever spoke to me or disrespected me like this. My son is 18 and knows he can walk out anytime and I can do nothing about it. I have always said I would never give up on my kids but after being called names and told that I was lucky he didn't spit in my face, I think its time for me to step back and remove myself from his life. Am I supposed to take the verbal abuse just because he's my son?? He is in his senior yr in high school and his dad was being supportive until I didn't want to talk to him every 10 minutes about everything (he hasn't let go after 11 yrs even though I am remarried) now he's saying our son can live with him and should even though not 1 day ago he was telling me and my son that it was best for him to live with me. My son has said he doesn't want to come home. My ex believes he and I need to talk x a day about this issue. I feel there's nothing to talk about. My son made a decision, he doesn't want me in his life and I feel I can't force my way in. I need advise I get so many different opinions on what to do but I just don't know. has anyone else experienced this and how did you handle it and how did it work out??
Wrong

Ithaca, NY

#63 Oct 26, 2013
yorkie wrote:
Tell me of your experiences with your ungrateful young adult(20-26) children who treat their parents like garbage. I'm not talking about negligent parents, drunks, addicts, etc. but parents who did everything possible to raise them with love, care and understanding. The parent's reward at the end of this was to be talked down to, disrespected repeatedly, used and abused. Is this the norm for this age group or are these just selfish worthless brats that never learned a thing inspite of having decent parents.
This is complete bull. Remember you're part of the generation that got everything handed to them by parents that worked hard all their lives - only to put down and insult a generation that is working with an economy saturated with part-time, minimum wage jobs. Frustration runs ramped among them, all of those I've seen have worked hard and gotten nothing out of it. If your attitude here reflects your attitude in real life, no wonder why your "ungrateful children" disrespect you.
Scarecrow

Little Falls, NY

#64 Oct 26, 2013
haversham wrote:
what a shame, as life is too short for all this hogwash..Hire a good lawyer as I am sur you will have grandparents rights.
You don't need a lawyer go to Family Court and file a petition grandparents have rights today. I did it and it works.
shadow

Utica, NY

#65 Oct 27, 2013
Wrong wrote:
<quoted text>
This is complete bull. Remember you're part of the generation that got everything handed to them by parents that worked hard all their lives - only to put down and insult a generation that is working with an economy saturated with part-time, minimum wage jobs. Frustration runs ramped among them, all of those I've seen have worked hard and gotten nothing out of it. If your attitude here reflects your attitude in real life, no wonder why your "ungrateful children" disrespect you.
You are completely wrong, irrational, and out of touch. Grow up and post like an adult, not a whimpering child.
Judge Judy

Syracuse, NY

#66 Oct 27, 2013
motherfedup wrote:
I have an 18-yr old son who for the past 3 yrs has treated me like dirt. I am the only one who has been to every sporting event, play (all production nights not just one) and every concert. I have bought him 2 cars, 1 for his 16th birthday and the 2nd for his 18th/graduation (same as I did for his sister. however, when i try to parent him on the hard stuff (grades, treating ppl right, telling him when he's wrong or telling him NO) I get cursed at, disrespected, argued with and just treated like crap. Now he's 18 and knows he can play the "I'm leaving and living with dad" card. This last argument I was told I was a horrible mother and he was only living with me for the car. I advised to call his dad and live with him if that's the case because the car is gone. His father and I have been divorced for 11 yrs and he is a very disrespectful person also, who believes woman are basically "emotional little girls who need to be told what to do" so we don't speak much and when we do its never pleasant. Eventually my son came home for about an hour(after a week of staying with friends and 2 nights at his dad and me telling him how much I wanted him home and loved him and we can work stuff out and I was sorry for the way things went), until he started yelling at me again and cursing me out including calling me an F'ing B@#%$(you get it) so I lost it and after about the 4th time he called me an F'ing Bi@## and told me to get the F out and he was leaving, I told him to go. I raised my hand to him but never hit him (and never have). I have had enough. Now his father is telling me that I am a horrible mother and proving I am unfit because I am done taking the verbal abuse. I raised a daughter who never ever spoke to me or disrespected me like this. My son is 18 and knows he can walk out anytime and I can do nothing about it. I have always said I would never give up on my kids but after being called names and told that I was lucky he didn't spit in my face, I think its time for me to step back and remove myself from his life. Am I supposed to take the verbal abuse just because he's my son?? He is in his senior yr in high school and his dad was being supportive until I didn't want to talk to him every 10 minutes about everything (he hasn't let go after 11 yrs even though I am remarried) now he's saying our son can live with him and should even though not 1 day ago he was telling me and my son that it was best for him to live with me. My son has said he doesn't want to come home. My ex believes he and I need to talk x a day about this issue. I feel there's nothing to talk about. My son made a decision, he doesn't want me in his life and I feel I can't force my way in. I need advise I get so many different opinions on what to do but I just don't know. has anyone else experienced this and how did you handle it and how did it work out??
Let him go to his fathers and stay there.
You don't deserve to be treated like that and I'm guessing he won't talk that way to his father. DO NOT beg him to come back. You're only asking to be treated badly. He's not a child, he's 18. Let him go and see what it's like elsewhere. It may take awhile but he'll realize eventually how good he had it. You don't say if he's going to college. You AND your daughter deserve a life free of turmoil and chaos. You are NOT a bad mother. He and his father tell you so to take the blame and shame off themselves. After all, they're not going to take responsibility for anything. Just let him go and then take a yoga class and/ or meditation and feel better.
Parent

Rome, NY

#68 Oct 27, 2013
Judge Judy wrote:
<quoted text>
Let him go to his fathers and stay there.
You don't deserve to be treated like that and I'm guessing he won't talk that way to his father. DO NOT beg him to come back. You're only asking to be treated badly. He's not a child, he's 18. Let him go and see what it's like elsewhere. It may take awhile but he'll realize eventually how good he had it. You don't say if he's going to college. You AND your daughter deserve a life free of turmoil and chaos. You are NOT a bad mother. He and his father tell you so to take the blame and shame off themselves. After all, they're not going to take responsibility for anything. Just let him go and then take a yoga class and/ or meditation and feel better.
I agree Judy! It's hard, but must be done. He can fend for himself. It's not like you're forcing a religion or cult life on him. You're just trying to have a proper loving, respectful relationship with him. Probably because you've done too much for him he can't see it or appreciate it and takes for granted. Unfortunately it's backfired. He can't see the love that fuels it, only the me me me gimme gimme gimme and of course, his creep of a daddy only encourages it. It's a gamble, but he's an "adult" now. He'll either come around and realize what a little punk he's been and sincerely regret or else he'll selfishly harden and always be negative toward you. Very tough call, and no amount of Dr. Phil can solve it. The dynamics of such things are well beyond counselors and shrinks to truly troubleshoot and fix. After all, they're just a money-making, self aggrandizing industry and you're the dollar sign at the end of the day.
well

Saranac Lake, NY

#69 Oct 27, 2013
To motherfedup.

You owe him nothing!!! Do not waste any more energy on him. I have a brother who wrote my Mother off completely when he was around 45 years old. He is an absolute idiot. Any "man" who picks on his Mother is a nasty F-er. Selfish SOBs!!!!

Unless of course there has been some abuse or extenuating circumstances.
bubbles

Windsor, CT

#70 Oct 27, 2013
REALLY wrote:
<quoted text>
hahahhahahahahah......talk to yourself much....holy sh*t you are twisted. Is this really what you do all dayn when you're suposedly working?
U need 2 get off this site and stop judging others. AWhen someone tells u a negative post u rip on them. U need a life. Get off topix! U r mean spirited
Ignore

Utica, NY

#71 Oct 27, 2013
Just give him cold shoulder tough love ignoring strategy. Don't even say a word anymore. Just don't allow him into the house, don't answer his calls or texts and don't acknowledge him in the least. He clearly feeds off your negative energy and his ability to use your love and sentiments for manipulation. The biggest obstacle is your own emotions. Buck up and own them and you'll be able to do this.
TheLord

Utica, NY

#72 Oct 27, 2013
#Even God has rejected and disowned his beloved "creation" as needed. So, it's not without precedent or even value on some levels. He does it to himself. You're not to blame.
SadDad

Medford, MA

#73 Dec 28, 2013
I have a 21 year old daughter that I find impossible to understand. I have tried to give her everything and in return she treats the rest of the family like garbage. She has no respect for any other member of the family. This includes interpersonal relationships, finances, and physical property.

Perhaps I have given too much. I would like to hear otherís responses.

The following are examples of what I am dealing with:

Interpersonal behavior:
My daughter is rude and adversarial almost all of the time. Any small criticism or difference of opinion provokes and argument. Recently, she and her boyfriend discussed having Christmas dinner with us and we scheduled the dinner for 5:30pm and they concurred. This was done specifically so they could go visit the boyfriendís family after dinner. Well around 5PM they just up and left (no reason or notice given) and did not return until late in the evening. My wife was quite offended and spoke to her upon her return. This provoked an argument and the daughter returned her motherís Christmas gift stating,ďI donít want itĒ. The next day she slept through a lunch she had arranged with her sister. Basically, she did the same thing the very next day, which was in fact Christmas. There is just no respect for anybody.

Financial behavior:
She tried a regular university and did not like the dorm. She asked to live in an apartment and I consented to pay the rent and bought her a car so she could commute. She quit. Then she tried a junior college from home and quite again. She is constantly spending money she doesnít have. My wife gave her a credit card to use, as she is unemployed, and she racked up ~$2000 in the last month. It was supposed to be for gas for her car, which I bought, so she could go get a job. Well, the job never happened. Not to mention I also pay her cell phone bill. Lately, she has been talking about going bak to school and she again expects me to pay her rent and tuition. I donít mind paying so much, but knowing the expectation is there without gratitude hurts. She regularly refers to the fact that I am financially helping her older sister who is off working on her Phd an taking out loans to pay tuition.

Treatment of physical property:
A while back she when out and bought herself a ferret and brought it home. She lets it run in the house despite my repeated objections and demands that she keep it in a cage while she not supervising it. The animal defecates all over the house and she does not clean up. I invited her and her boyfriend to visit at my retirement home in Florida. She told me a friend would watch the ferret, but she actually let it run in the house alone for a week. It has basically, ruined carpets etc. Not to mention it is unsanitary. Her room looks like a bomb went offÖ

I am frustrated by the fact that I am retiring shortly and I need to clean this house up so it can be sold and I can move to Florida. She just does not care.

She was recently engaged and expects me to pay for a wedding. She came to ask for opinions about wedding gowns and showed us images of dresses costing $3000-$5000. Frankly, Iím not inclined to pay for anything given the way she treats the family. My wife and I were married by a JP.

My wife just canceled her credit card and I am on the verge of suggesting the she find another living arrangement. I anticipate she will want me to pay for an apartment. I am planning on saying no.

There are many other examples.

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