ungrateful children
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yorkie

Utica, NY

#1 Aug 6, 2013
Tell me of your experiences with your ungrateful young adult(20-26) children who treat their parents like garbage. I'm not talking about negligent parents, drunks, addicts, etc. but parents who did everything possible to raise them with love, care and understanding. The parent's reward at the end of this was to be talked down to, disrespected repeatedly, used and abused. Is this the norm for this age group or are these just selfish worthless brats that never learned a thing inspite of having decent parents.
His Mother

Utica, NY

#2 Aug 6, 2013
I have a son who won't bring my grandchild to visit. He tossed us to the curb like garbage. He lives with a real nut whom he couldn't say 'sh*t' to if his mouth was full of it. His friends all say she makes him wear the apron in the house. He's full of lies. Sad. She ruined her family & ours.
haversham

Carthage, NY

#3 Aug 6, 2013
what a shame, as life is too short for all this hogwash..Hire a good lawyer as I am sur you will have grandparents rights.
Mother Goose

Durhamville, NY

#4 Aug 6, 2013
yorkie wrote:
Tell me of your experiences with your ungrateful young adult(20-26) children who treat their parents like garbage. I'm not talking about negligent parents, drunks, addicts, etc. but parents who did everything possible to raise them with love, care and understanding. The parent's reward at the end of this was to be talked down to, disrespected repeatedly, used and abused. Is this the norm for this age group or are these just selfish worthless brats that never learned a thing inspite of having decent parents.
I thought it was just my two! They treat me the same way. They must be nice to other people, though, because everyone tells me what great kids they are! I want to ask them if they have the right kids! Lol My parents would die if they heard the way they talk to me.

“Don't Toews Me Bro!”

Level 3

Since: Apr 13

The Elite Northeast

#5 Aug 6, 2013
I'm just above the age bracket in question, but from my point of view it's the 13-21 year olds who are problems. When I graduated we just had gotten high speed Internet. Now, they're all on their Iphones (heaven for bid they don't have the newest one) and whine when their parents take them out to get clothes. They should realize how lucky they are. Then, the way a lot of them speak to their teachers and parents...maybe they should go back to the whole "soap in the mouth" threat.
lars

Utica, NY

#7 Aug 7, 2013
Mother Goose wrote:
<quoted text>
I thought it was just my two! They treat me the same way. They must be nice to other people, though, because everyone tells me what great kids they are! I want to ask them if they have the right kids! Lol My parents would die if they heard the way they talk to me.
You sound as if you are leading my life. Same experiences. I, too, want to choke when other people tell me how lucky I am to have such great kids. I am at a loss at how to change it. I've tried everything and I've always done right by them, right from the beginning.
REALLY

New York, NY

#8 Aug 7, 2013
yorkie wrote:
Tell me of your experiences with your ungrateful young adult(20-26) children who treat their parents like garbage. I'm not talking about negligent parents, drunks, addicts, etc. but parents who did everything possible to raise them with love, care and understanding. The parent's reward at the end of this was to be talked down to, disrespected repeatedly, used and abused. Is this the norm for this age group or are these just selfish worthless brats that never learned a thing inspite of having decent parents.
The fact that you would pose this question on topix is a red flag that you may not have been half the parent you think you are/were. " selfish worthless brats" WOW, PARENT OF THE YEAR MATERIAL. just saying....
Ontak

Dover, DE

#9 Aug 7, 2013
It's generational, and runs younger than 20-26. 10-20 year olds are more like it.
uranazzhole

Utica, NY

#10 Aug 7, 2013
REALLY wrote:
<quoted text>
The fact that you would pose this question on topix is a red flag that you may not have been half the parent you think you are/were. " selfish worthless brats" WOW, PARENT OF THE YEAR MATERIAL. just saying....
U R a judgemental pretentious bitch -- how's that--and I'll bet u r a selfish worthless brat as well--you must have seen yourself in this post, azzhole, and just couldn't handle it. you will never be parent of the year, or a parent at all, is my guess. you are barely human. glad i don't know you.
one who knows

Carthage, NY

#11 Aug 7, 2013
I raised 4 children as a Single Parent without doing drugs or using alcohol. I always maintained a loving and caring home for all of them and supported all of us on my paycheck without any food stamps, medicaid, or Section 8 help. The 3 oldest children all became very successful in their careers with long term marriages.

My last child was a daughter that was only around 10 years of age when all her brothers and sister were gone leading their own lives, but were always available and kept in contact with us. As a result, this daughter had alot more materialistic gifts than the other children did as it is far easier to support 1 child than it was 4.

This child is now 44, has had 4 children, 3 of which were born to different men, has remained single, and is currently on SS disability from a car accident. I helped raise her 3 oldest children and even took Custody of them when she was sentenced to OCJ for a violation of her probation (petite theft). I helped her financially to be able to live in the nicer sections of Utica, brought most of their clothes, boughts 5 cars for her, and even a house. The 3 oldest ones have all called her their second Mom!

Today, all 3 of these children have left home because of her actions, name calling, and the way she lives her life (associates with druggies and gutter trash). She only has 1 child left with her, a 4 year old son who is starting to believe his mother telling him that I (his Grandma)doesn't care about him (again, everything he pratically owns has been bought from me including 3 expensive cars @$290 -$379 apiece.

This daughter has called me every name under the book - including stupid (I'm a retired professional woman)a scumbag, whore, slut, and even hit me one day while I was driving her to Church!

She is currently living in another house that I own and is slowly destroying it. Evicting her would mean my grandson would have to leave the only home he has ever known and it is located in a quiet and safe neighborhood that she could never be able to afford without the low rent she is currently paying to me.

Any suggestions? Everyone that knows me tells me I do NOT deserve this kind of treatment - even her own 3 older children say the same thing.
one who knows

Carthage, NY

#12 Aug 7, 2013
haversham wrote:
what a shame, as life is too short for all this hogwash..Hire a good lawyer as I am sur you will have grandparents rights.
The natural parent still needs to give their permission for Grandparents to see their grandchildren!!!!
This is what "Grandparents rights" are - very limited.
juy

Utica, NY

#13 Aug 7, 2013
REALLY wrote:
<quoted text>
The fact that you would pose this question on topix is a red flag that you may not have been half the parent you think you are/were. " selfish worthless brats" WOW, PARENT OF THE YEAR MATERIAL. just saying....
People use this site as a sounding board and virtually never say to anyone the things that they type. The real question here is why you would be so offensively judgmental to someone trying to help themselves. The world can use a whole lot more parents like her/ him and a whole lot fewer losers like yourself. I agree with the poster who called you pretentious--that is exactly what you are and then some. I've seen previous posts by you and they all have the same 'holier than thou tone." God help any kids of yours. Save your pretentious posts for some other site. NO one her gives a crap what you have to say to make yourself feel good.
terrie

Utica, NY

#14 Aug 7, 2013
one who knows wrote:
I raised 4 children as a Single Parent without doing drugs or using alcohol. I always maintained a loving and caring home for all of them and supported all of us on my paycheck without any food stamps, medicaid, or Section 8 help. The 3 oldest children all became very successful in their careers with long term marriages.
My last child was a daughter that was only around 10 years of age when all her brothers and sister were gone leading their own lives, but were always available and kept in contact with us. As a result, this daughter had alot more materialistic gifts than the other children did as it is far easier to support 1 child than it was 4.
This child is now 44, has had 4 children, 3 of which were born to different men, has remained single, and is currently on SS disability from a car accident. I helped raise her 3 oldest children and even took Custody of them when she was sentenced to OCJ for a violation of her probation (petite theft). I helped her financially to be able to live in the nicer sections of Utica, brought most of their clothes, boughts 5 cars for her, and even a house. The 3 oldest ones have all called her their second Mom!
Today, all 3 of these children have left home because of her actions, name calling, and the way she lives her life (associates with druggies and gutter trash). She only has 1 child left with her, a 4 year old son who is starting to believe his mother telling him that I (his Grandma)doesn't care about him (again, everything he pratically owns has been bought from me including 3 expensive cars @$290 -$379 apiece.
This daughter has called me every name under the book - including stupid (I'm a retired professional woman)a scumbag, whore, slut, and even hit me one day while I was driving her to Church!
She is currently living in another house that I own and is slowly destroying it. Evicting her would mean my grandson would have to leave the only home he has ever known and it is located in a quiet and safe neighborhood that she could never be able to afford without the low rent she is currently paying to me.
Any suggestions? Everyone that knows me tells me I do NOT deserve this kind of treatment - even her own 3 older children say the same thing.
I believe you are sincere and did everything you could do to help all of your children. The youngest child was not open to your guidance, love and caring for reasons that have nothing to do with anything you did. Some children are like that and no one has a clear cut reason why. Social workers, priests, therapists all agree on this one point. You can be a sterling parent but there is a chance that a child will not choose the correct path. The only thing left for you to do is to be there to support her(Not monetarily) emotionally when and if she reaches out to you. Some kids will only learn the hard way and some never learn at all. NONE of this is your fault. So if you are beating yourself up over it, stop. Enjoy your life, every day of it, and do so with a clear conscience. God Bless you!
REALLY

New York, NY

#15 Aug 7, 2013
juy wrote:
<quoted text>
People use this site as a sounding board and virtually never say to anyone the things that they type. The real question here is why you would be so offensively judgmental to someone trying to help themselves. The world can use a whole lot more parents like her/ him and a whole lot fewer losers like yourself. I agree with the poster who called you pretentious--that is exactly what you are and then some. I've seen previous posts by you and they all have the same 'holier than thou tone." God help any kids of yours. Save your pretentious posts for some other site. NO one her gives a crap what you have to say to make yourself feel good.
hahahhahahahahah......talk to yourself much....holy sh*t you are twisted. Is this really what you do all day when you're suposedly working?
North Country - 50living

Gloversville, NY

#16 Aug 7, 2013
Although I'm NOT a parent...I do see many instances of parents NOT being PARENTS but rather a "sperm doner" & "egg doner"....you were there for the "fun" but have never given any thought about teaching this child the very basics of being polite, helping others & being a well rounded citizen & resident of the planet. They LOVE to learn & they look up to the 1 most important person in their life...you...for guidance.....BE THERE by teaching them right from wrong, basic life lessons & SELF RESPECT will follow!!
lincoln

Utica, NY

#17 Aug 7, 2013
REALLY wrote:
<quoted text>
hahahhahahahahah......talk to yourself much....holy sh*t you are twisted. Is this really what you do all day when you're suposedly working?
Actually, it appears that this what you really do all day when you are supposedly working. Whutsamatta, the other poster put a bug up yer ample zzz? You LIke to dish it out, but can't take it, schizo.
Glad Shes Gone

Ithaca, NY

#18 Aug 7, 2013
My son and I had a rocky time. He was seeing this girl who was a totally manipulative tramp. She was raised by a mother who was the same, who in turn was also raised by a mother who was the same. I've come to believe it's a genetic abnormality with the females in that family. I supported both of them until I couldn't take it any longer and booted them out. I was worse than the stuff you scrape off the bottom of your show for a while. But once he got his senses and saw what she was, we made our peace. We are not only parent and child now, but we are friends. He trusts me and my judgment and I trust his. Silver lining, he met a wonderfully sweet girl and gave me two beautiful grandchildren!
Sticks35

United States

#19 Aug 7, 2013
Usualy They figure it out around 30-35 yrs old...unless they are spoiled brats. Its a differant world,every ones busy with their own lives....
unmasked

Utica, NY

#21 Aug 7, 2013
I agree with Terrie wholeheartedly. Do your absolute best at all times as you should. Just beware that some kids will not listen and will make horrible mistakes repeatedly. Keep trying. That's all you've got.
Ten percenter

Yorkville, NY

#22 Aug 7, 2013
As a dad, my children are spoiled. I take the blame. I grew up in an orphange. Remember those? It was in Pottsdam. A horrible place. I told myself that if I have children they're never going to know what that feels like. Came to Utica, got a job at GE in French road as a janitor and went to MVCC. Got my own thing going and by the grace of God it turned into something I could never image.

When the kids came i went overboard because I never had a birthday present or Christmas, but I always made sure they saw the value in what they had. Im not superdad, Ive made my share of mistakes, but its on the parents if the children grow up ungrateful. My girls may think that money grows on trees, but they also know when enough is enough and to satisfied with what you have at the moment because there are people out there that are wishing for what you take for granted. I know I was one of them. I never threw material things at them to free up my time. I think that's what a lot of parents do, and the kids dont respect anything or value anything

Children do listen. They hear everything, so you have to think before you speak or act. As far as one's children call them stupid or an idiot, they learned it somewhere, and it was probably going in up in your home.

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