What is up with middle aged men?
My god

Pascoag, RI

#41 Sep 16, 2013
Wiser wrote:
<quoted text>
Classic borderline narcissist. Look this up it will probably shock you. You are not EVERYTHING to this person just their narcissistic supply! My ex- husband was a class a jerk who pulled this on me after having physically abused me... My respond was " go ahead kill yourself ". That way he could also ruin his kids and mother's life. He never brought it up again. Don't fall into the trap of thinking you simply mean this much to this person. I warn you... Definitely look up this topic. You won't feel as important or pivotal to his survival as before! Your story never changes does it ? You have been holding that story for years on end .
if its not you , too tiring to figure out
My god

Pascoag, RI

#42 Sep 16, 2013
My god wrote:
<quoted text> if its not you , too tiring to figure out
u been holding onto that song and dance for ages . Abusive ? That's what all woman say when they can't let go .
Single Male

New Hartford, NY

#43 Sep 16, 2013
Way It Is wrote:
I refuse to date women around here. They bring very little to the table, have mediocre jobs, superficial values and high expectations.
Yes, drive 1-2 hours away and they are truly different. Likewise, the same goes for guys around here.
The women here have issues they just cant get over. Too much work. If you're nice to them they resent it.

Same with the guys. They all complain no jobs, no money. Screw it, I just stay home
Exactly

Dover, DE

#44 Sep 16, 2013
Single Male wrote:
<quoted text>
The women here have issues they just cant get over. Too much work. If you're nice to them they resent it.
Same with the guys. They all complain no jobs, no money. Screw it, I just stay home
Sometimes you are better off; no drama - do as you please - come and go as you please, single life is better!
Eat Well Live Well

New York Mills, NY

#45 Sep 16, 2013
Single life is good. Having variety is even better. But, it does get lonely. However, don't settle for less when you know that you deserve more!
Knows

Utica, NY

#46 Sep 16, 2013
One of the cruelest things a person can do is awaken someones love without the intention of truly loving them!
Summer

Pascoag, RI

#47 Sep 16, 2013
Knows wrote:
One of the cruelest things a person can do is awaken someones love without the intention of truly loving them!
my man loves me
Wiser

Jasper, AL

#48 Sep 17, 2013
Single Male wrote:
<quoted text>
The women here have issues they just cant get over. Too much work. If you're nice to them they resent it.
Same with the guys. They all complain no jobs, no money. Screw it, I just stay home
. Are you saying women like to be unhappy? marriage and relationships of every type do. Giving up a relationship because it takes work is just plain lazy. Marriage can be wonderful and very satisfying. But-- you have to be introspective, respectful, and learn to compromise. Generally people who give simplistic responses are too self absorbed and want only to receive. This maybe why you choose to be alone. It is a good thing you choose to be single. Do you work? If not maybe you've given up on life altogether.
Exactly

Dover, DE

#49 Sep 17, 2013
Eat Well Live Well wrote:
Single life is good. Having variety is even better. But, it does get lonely. However, don't
settle for less when you know that you deserve more!
I love being single, do what you want when you want.
Single Male

Roslindale, MA

#50 Sep 17, 2013
No not at all. I do have a very fulfilling life. Family friends and I job that I love. I hope that women don't like being unhappy . Then were are all doomed . The point that Im trying to make is some women only know how to feel and act in a relationship for the simple fact that they've been treated poorly , and are used to feeling a certain way. So, when they meet a good guy and don't know what it feels like to be treated nicely, most times they react to it in a negative way ; without realizing it. Ie perceiving a guy as weak or needy when the guy can actually see how poorly she's been treated in the past and is trying to show her there is a better way. But as a guy that's dated one too many of this type of women, I've given up on expending my energy and emotions on women that aren't receptive to be treated well
Single Male

Roslindale, MA

#51 Sep 17, 2013
So acting like a jerk and as if I could care less about her is too much work for me . I'd rather be myself which is easy going , drama free man. It's easier for me to just be myself. If a woman perceives me as just a good guy. I can live with that. I like being a good guy, and if I have to be one alone. So be it.
Loving Life

Charlestown, MA

#52 Sep 17, 2013
Single Male wrote:
So acting like a jerk and as if I could care less about her is too much work for me . I'd rather be myself which is easy going , drama free man. It's easier for me to just be myself. If a woman perceives me as just a good guy. I can live with that. I like being a good guy, and if I have to be one alone. So be it.
You are exactly right. Can't tell you how many times I've heard, " you're so sweet," or "you're a really nice guy." All this after I listened to how bad they we're treated. But, the minute I don't listen and do my own thing, blow them off, see multiple women....that's when they come running. But like you said, that's a lot of work. So, if it boils down to variety and random hook ups....it's not all that bad :)
Single Male

Roslindale, MA

#53 Sep 17, 2013
Thanks. I'm past that point in my life. Not that kind of guy.
Devils advocate

Jasper, AL

#54 Sep 17, 2013
Single Male wrote:
No not at all. I do have a very fulfilling life. Family friends and I job that I love. I hope that women don't like being unhappy . Then were are all doomed . The point that Im trying to make is some women only know how to feel and act in a relationship for the simple fact that they've been treated poorly , and are used to feeling a certain way. So, when they meet a good guy and don't know what it feels like to be treated nicely, most times they react to it in a negative way ; without realizing it. Ie perceiving a guy as weak or needy when the guy can actually see how poorly she's been treated in the past and is trying to show her there is a better way. But as a guy that's dated one too many of this type of women, I've given up on expending my energy and emotions on women that aren't receptive to be treated well
. Not all women are damaged. Some people actually grow from bad experiences. We are all a work in progress and we all have baggage(males as well as females). You have certainly revealed yours.
Loving Life

Charlestown, MA

#55 Sep 17, 2013
One thing is for certain. Women do not like intelligent men who refuse to be dominated or submissive. They immediately see a guy like this as a player with options who can't be controlled. So as much as they say they want a guy whose smart, knows how to treat a women, etc... What they usually want is some poor sap to walk all over. My experience has taught me that intellect is intimidating too many and independence is a red flag. I've had incredible luck telling women that I'm in between jobs. They seem to want to take care of me and feel bad. Which leads me to conclude, it all boils down to their self worth and how they really feel about themselves.
Devils advocate

Jasper, AL

#56 Sep 17, 2013
Single Male wrote:
So acting like a jerk and as if I could care less about her is too much work for me . I'd rather be myself which is easy going , drama free man. It's easier for me to just be myself. If a woman perceives me as just a good guy. I can live with that. I like being a good guy, and if I have to be one alone. So be it.
someone who truly loves you, loves you for the person you are. When you truly love you want to be a better person for the one you love. People grow. If you don't love you don't have the time, energy or patience to stick around. Most people are happy to be single until they find someone they truly love. Some people never find that person.
Devils advocate

Jasper, AL

#57 Sep 17, 2013
Loving Life wrote:
One thing is for certain. Women do not like intelligent men who refuse to be dominated or submissive. They immediately see a guy like this as a player with options who can't be controlled. So as much as they say they want a guy whose smart, knows how to treat a women, etc... What they usually want is some poor sap to walk all over. My experience has taught me that intellect is intimidating too many and independence is a red flag. I've had incredible luck telling women that I'm in between jobs. They seem to want to take care of me and feel bad. Which leads me to conclude, it all boils down to their self worth and how they really feel about themselves.
emotionally healthy people give and receive. Believe it or not there are healthy people out there who don't use others or allow themselves to be used.
Exactly

Dover, DE

#58 Sep 17, 2013
Loving Life wrote:
One thing is for certain. Women do not like intelligent men who refuse to be dominated or submissive. They immediately see a guy like this as a player with options who can't be controlled. So as much as they say they want a guy whose smart, knows how to treat a women, etc... What they usually want is some poor sap to walk all over. My experience has taught me that intellect is intimidating too many and independence is a red flag. I've had incredible luck telling women that I'm in between jobs. They seem to want to take care of me and feel bad. Which leads me to conclude, it all boils down to their self worth and how they really feel about themselves.
Personally, i like a guy with self confidence and a little bad boy in him! I don't want someone I can walk over.
Wiser

Jasper, AL

#59 Sep 17, 2013
Loving Life wrote:
One thing is for certain. Women do not like intelligent men who refuse to be dominated or submissive. They immediately see a guy like this as a player with options who can't be controlled. So as much as they say they want a guy whose smart, knows how to treat a women, etc... What they usually want is some poor sap to walk all over. My experience has taught me that intellect is intimidating too many and independence is a red flag. I've had incredible luck telling women that I'm in between jobs. They seem to want to take care of me and feel bad. Which leads me to conclude, it all boils down to their self worth and how they really feel about themselves.
Are there any married middle aged guys who care to comment on initial post?
Wiser

Jasper, AL

#60 Sep 17, 2013
Loving Life wrote:
One thing is for certain. Women do not like intelligent men who refuse to be dominated or submissive. They immediately see a guy like this as a player with options who can't be controlled. So as much as they say they want a guy whose smart, knows how to treat a women, etc... What they usually want is some poor sap to walk all over. My experience has taught me that intellect is intimidating too many and independence is a red flag. I've had incredible luck telling women that I'm in between jobs. They seem to want to take care of me and feel bad. Which leads me to conclude, it all boils down to their self worth and how they really feel about themselves.
. It is never ok to use people. There is a difference between intellectual intelligence and emotional intelligence. You can have one without necessarily having the other. Some people have neither. For example: if a person stands up for him/herself the person on the other side may perceive this person as wanting to walk all over them...guess what type of intelligence is lacking here. Maybe both?

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