Adoptees and birth parents Reunite!

Adoptees and birth parents Reunite!

Posted in the Utica Forum

Level 8

Since: Apr 12

Willcox, AZ

#1 Aug 15, 2013
This is the official site to get the form you need to sign up with the state registry.
http://www.health.ny.gov/vital_records/adopti...

There are three forms. Use the correct form, and follow directions, and sign up on the Mutual consent registry.

Join us at www.nyadoptees.com for search and support.

There are other places you can sign up, so ask on nyadoptees.com where.

Joan
yolanda

Utica, NY

#2 Aug 15, 2013
What a joke! People willing to search for mothers that discarded them as infants and walked away leaving them with strangers. Most of these mothers of the year would just as soon forget the birth ever happened. Stupid people--I guarantee you will be disappointed and sorry.
Ten percenter

Roslindale, MA

#3 Aug 15, 2013
Agree. I have no interest in meeting my birth parents. I'd like to put them where they drop me off for 17 years

Level 8

Since: Apr 12

Willcox, AZ

#4 Aug 15, 2013
There are thousands who are looking for each other. For parents to make it easier to be found fill out this form
http://www.health.ny.gov/forms/doh-4455.pdf

This form gives permission to the registry to be able to release information to the adult adoptee.

thank you.

Joan
pete

Utica, NY

#5 Aug 15, 2013
Most kids are better off NOT knowing what horrible birth parents they had. Their only real parents are their adoptive parents--they are always there for them, no matter what. Even dogs and cats don't abandon their own babies--humans not only abandon them, they neglect them, abuse them, and kill them before they are even born.
adoptee

Utica, NY

#6 Aug 15, 2013
yolanda wrote:
What a joke! People willing to search for mothers that discarded them as infants and walked away leaving them with strangers. Most of these mothers of the year would just as soon forget the birth ever happened. Stupid people--I guarantee you will be disappointed and sorry.
As an adoptee that has been searching for awhile, I have learned a lot. Many women were forced to give up their baby. Not all chose to. Not all are disappointed after their search. Let me ask you this Yolanda...do you know your exact ethnicity? Do you know what time of day and what hospital you were born in? Do you know if you are at risk for any genetic illnesses? I don't. I have a child with a serious illness and knowing what illnesses my birth family has would be an enormous help. I don't have that information. I can't get that information. Don't you think I have a right to know everything about my past just as you probably know everything about yours? Some adoptees will be disappointed but at least they don't have to wonder any more.
adoptee

Utica, NY

#7 Aug 15, 2013
joanNYadoptees wrote:
This is the official site to get the form you need to sign up with the state registry.
http://www.health.ny.gov/vital_records/adopti...

There are three forms. Use the correct form, and follow directions, and sign up on the Mutual consent registry.

Join us at www.nyadoptees.com for search and support.

There are other places you can sign up, so ask on nyadoptees.com where.

Joan
Can you post this in the Cortland, NY Topix site also? Thank you!
hmmmm

Utica, NY

#8 Aug 15, 2013
adoptee wrote:
<quoted text>
As an adoptee that has been searching for awhile, I have learned a lot. Many women were forced to give up their baby. Not all chose to. Not all are disappointed after their search. Let me ask you this Yolanda...do you know your exact ethnicity? Do you know what time of day and what hospital you were born in? Do you know if you are at risk for any genetic illnesses? I don't. I have a child with a serious illness and knowing what illnesses my birth family has would be an enormous help. I don't have that information. I can't get that information. Don't you think I have a right to know everything about my past just as you probably know everything about yours? Some adoptees will be disappointed but at least they don't have to wonder any more.
That's quite an entitlement attitude that you have Ms Adoptee. Your birth mother and father didn't want you. You've reached adulthood so they must have left you with someone who took care of you. No, you don't have an inherent right to know every bit of minutia from the past that doesn't matter anyway. Get a genetic test if you want to know your ethnicity. They are less than 100 dollars and will tell you exactly what percent you are of each ethnicity present in your genome. You sound like a walking cliché talking about inherited illnesses. Most illnesses that you get aren't inherited. Look at the statistics on Breast cancer. Most newly diagnosed cases are not genetically related. If you even take minimal care of yourself as fas as screening tests available, then you've done all that you can. Knowing what killed great grandpa doesn't help you one bit. You will get whatever you get and what can be prevented is up to you to do. Take care of your own health by seeing a doctor regularly and get thorough genetic testing. You can be screened for just about anything and get a more accurate answer from him than from your birth mother or father and your insurance will cover it. Lose the entitlement attitude and leave your birth mother alone. She's doesn't deserve to be hunted down by you for answers you can get elsewhere and more accurately. I suspect you are curious more than anything. You know what curiosity did to the cat. As far as your child goes, whatever illness she has probably resulted from something you did while you were pregnant and what you exposed the child to in utero. Drugs--legal or illegal, diet, alcohol, and smoking are the usual culprits so don't even begin to try to blame your mother for the kid's sickness. If you want to blame someone, look in the mirror at your own lifestyle and the lifestyle of the sperm donor. Stop spouting the same, tired lines of adoptees who think they have the right to intrude where they don't belong and are clearly not wanted. Get on with your own life and don't make your birth mother sorry that she let you have life instead of aborting you. Be grateful for what you have. That's the key to happiness.
jackie

Utica, NY

#9 Aug 15, 2013
adoptee wrote:
<quoted text>
Can you post this in the Cortland, NY Topix site also? Thank you!
You can post it there yourself.
hmmm

Herkimer, NY

#10 Aug 15, 2013
hmmmm wrote:
<quoted text>
That's quite an entitlement attitude that you have Ms Adoptee. Your birth mother and father didn't want you. You've reached adulthood so they must have left you with someone who took care of you. No, you don't have an inherent right to know every bit of minutia from the past that doesn't matter anyway. Get a genetic test if you want to know your ethnicity. They are less than 100 dollars and will tell you exactly what percent you are of each ethnicity present in your genome. You sound like a walking cliché talking about inherited illnesses. Most illnesses that you get aren't inherited. Look at the statistics on Breast cancer. Most newly diagnosed cases are not genetically related. If you even take minimal care of yourself as fas as screening tests available, then you've done all that you can. Knowing what killed great grandpa doesn't help you one bit. You will get whatever you get and what can be prevented is up to you to do. Take care of your own health by seeing a doctor regularly and get thorough genetic testing. You can be screened for just about anything and get a more accurate answer from him than from your birth mother or father and your insurance will cover it. Lose the entitlement attitude and leave your birth mother alone. She's doesn't deserve to be hunted down by you for answers you can get elsewhere and more accurately. I suspect you are curious more than anything. You know what curiosity did to the cat. As far as your child goes, whatever illness she has probably resulted from something you did while you were pregnant and what you exposed the child to in utero. Drugs--legal or illegal, diet, alcohol, and smoking are the usual culprits so don't even begin to try to blame your mother for the kid's sickness. If you want to blame someone, look in the mirror at your own lifestyle and the lifestyle of the sperm donor. Stop spouting the same, tired lines of adoptees who think they have the right to intrude where they don't belong and are clearly not wanted. Get on with your own life and don't make your birth mother sorry that she let you have life instead of aborting you. Be grateful for what you have. That's the key to happiness.
If you are not adopted I hope you die in a fire.

Level 8

Since: Apr 12

Willcox, AZ

#11 Aug 15, 2013
adoptee wrote:
<quoted text>
Can you post this in the Cortland, NY Topix site also? Thank you!
Hi, I put the information on Cortland ny. I hope there are nicer people there than Utica.
Some of these people are being very rude.

Should I tell them how DNA tests are revealing relatives and they can and will be found.:)
adoptee

Needham, MA

#12 Aug 15, 2013
hmmmm wrote:
<quoted text>That's quite an entitlement attitude that you have Ms Adoptee. Your birth mother and father didn't want you. You've reached adulthood so they must have left you with someone who took care of you. No, you don't have an inherent right to know every bit of minutia from the past that doesn't matter anyway. Get a genetic test if you want to know your ethnicity. They are less than 100 dollars and will tell you exactly what percent you are of each ethnicity present in your genome. You sound like a walking cliché talking about inherited illnesses. Most illnesses that you get aren't inherited. Look at the statistics on Breast cancer. Most newly diagnosed cases are not genetically related. If you even take minimal care of yourself as fas as screening tests available, then you've done all that you can. Knowing what killed great grandpa doesn't help you one bit. You will get whatever you get and what can be prevented is up to you to do. Take care of your own health by seeing a doctor regularly and get thorough genetic testing. You can be screened for just about anything and get a more accurate answer from him than from your birth mother or father and your insurance will cover it. Lose the entitlement attitude and leave your birth mother alone. She's doesn't deserve to be hunted down by you for answers you can get elsewhere and more accurately. I suspect you are curious more than anything. You know what curiosity did to the cat. As far as your child goes, whatever illness she has probably resulted from something you did while you were pregnant and what you exposed the child to in utero. Drugs--legal or illegal, diet, alcohol, and smoking are the usual culprits so don't even begin to try to blame your mother for the kid's sickness. If you want to blame someone, look in the mirror at your own lifestyle and the lifestyle of the sperm donor. Stop spouting the same, tired lines of adoptees who think they have the right to intrude where they don't belong and are clearly not wanted. Get on with your own life and don't make your birth mother sorry that she let you have life instead of aborting you. Be grateful for what you have. That's the key to happiness.
There are many reasons that I would like to know my birth family and background. As far as a sense of entitlement, why is an adoptee not entitled to know the exact same information as non-adoptees are? And sir you are quite wrong with your remarks that I must have done something wrong during my pregnancy to cause my child's illness. I have never done a drug in my life. I have never tried a cigarette. As far as alcohol goes, I never took a sip when I was pregnant and when I wasn't pregnant I never had more than two to three drinks per year. You have no way of knowing if my birth parents wanted me or not. You sound like a dead beat father or someone or just a very bitter person. Did your parents keep you and didn't want to? I don't normally wish bad on anyone, but I hope you wake up tomorrow and find out that your adopted and then tell me if you are interested in knowing your background and who your parents are. I hope you are "curious". And may you never have a seriously ill child that needs medical information that may help save their life.

Level 8

Since: Apr 12

Willcox, AZ

#13 Aug 15, 2013
The state registry is called a MUTUAL Consent Registry. That means both parties have to sign up to be reunited. So no one is hunting anyone down.
The people we do help search for, are usually very happy to be found. Yes, there are some who don't want contact. So those people who don't want contact are left alone. No one is hunting anyone down.

Hmmm what is your concerns? Are you guilty of something.

Joan
adoptee

Needham, MA

#14 Aug 15, 2013
joanNYadoptees wrote:
<quoted text>Hi, I put the information on Cortland ny. I hope there are nicer people there than Utica.
Some of these people are being very rude.

Should I tell them how DNA tests are revealing relatives and they can and will be found.:)
Thank you Joan. It definitely sounds like someone IS afraid of being found. Disgusting. Just look through the threads on the Utica Topix site in comparison to other cities. That says it all.

Level 8

Since: Apr 12

Willcox, AZ

#15 Aug 15, 2013
pete wrote:
Most kids are better off NOT knowing what horrible birth parents they had. Their only real parents are their adoptive parents--they are always there for them, no matter what. Even dogs and cats don't abandon their own babies--humans not only abandon them, they neglect them, abuse them, and kill them before they are even born.
Dear Pete, you are very clueless. Most birth parents relinquish the child at birth. they are forced to. Not because of abuse. So don't judge before you know all the facts.
oldie

Ithaca, NY

#16 Aug 15, 2013
A lot of people in Utica have nothing better to do than to get on here and spew hatred and cause trouble. It's pathetic how they treat people who just get on here to ask questions or to help others when they can. Their life must be pretty pathetic! There are people who give their children up because it's the best thing for the child and no other reason.
adoptee

Needham, MA

#17 Aug 15, 2013
oldie wrote:
A lot of people in Utica have nothing better to do than to get on here and spew hatred and cause trouble. It's pathetic how they treat people who just get on here to ask questions or to help others when they can. Their life must be pretty pathetic! There are people who give their children up because it's the best thing for the child and no other reason.
Thank you.

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