Can An Emotionally Unstable Woman Ever Be Trusted?

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Curious

United States

#1 May 2, 2011
Many years ago I fell in love with an emotionally unstable woman. All of the classic signs were there in the beginning. I chose to ignore them. I knew eventually she would get her self involved in other situations by cheating on me and sharing the sex I thought was sacred. I chose not to marry her as a means of self protection. She's a sweet, wonderful and beautiful person with old world values. But, her emotions get the bet of her which leads to manipulative, deceitful, and fraudulent behavior.

I would dare say she's the vindictive type as much as she just makes poor choices driven by emotion. That's the story of her life. Good men who loved her all ran for the hills. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and now I feel trapped. I'm getting help in order to move on.

Recently, she finally hit rock bottom and I convinced her to seek professional help through extensive psychotherapy treatments. I'm proud she's finally getting it. She doesn't want to lose me but I keep telling her she should see my friendship as my commitment to her after what she did. That's not good enough for her..she wants more and is scared to face life alone

Now, she's suicidal and sees no purpose in life because I'm moving on. Sure, I feel terrible for her. My question is this...and yes it's topix but I'll put it out there:

Can An Emotionally Unstable Woman Ever Be Trusted Again?
The Solution

Santa Fe, NM

#2 May 2, 2011
WALK AWAY - NOW ! My friend, you have offered and given far more than can ever be repaid and the worst is still on the horizon. She is not family, blood or wife. You made a past judgement call NOT to tie yourself to this lit stick of dynamite and you should be comforted by your efforts to have helped her anyway, but enough is enough. She will ruin you, drag you down and change your life to the point where you will NOT have a life. MOVE ON ! You are a good person and you should A)let the professional take over and B) Share your goodness in other areas where positive results can be measured. You've done well, now move on.
Curious

United States

#3 May 2, 2011
The Solution wrote:
WALK AWAY - NOW ! My friend, you have offered and given far more than can ever be repaid and the worst is still on the horizon. She is not family, blood or wife. You made a past judgement call NOT to tie yourself to this lit stick of dynamite and you should be comforted by your efforts to have helped her anyway, but enough is enough. She will ruin you, drag you down and change your life to the point where you will NOT have a life. MOVE ON ! You are a good person and you should A)let the professional take over and B) Share your goodness in other areas where positive results can be measured. You've done well, now move on.
Thank you for your kind words and understanding. My therapist who is deprogramming me said the same. I don't need topix validation as much as I seek real life experience from others who have been there and tried to make it work. Again, thank you!
darkie

Utica, NY

#6 May 2, 2011
I'm not trying to be the bad guy, or mean... but if you stay in contact with her, that would just be plain stupid, she is more than just emotionally unstable,

even if some twisted way she really does love you, and means it, and wants to kill herself if she cant be with you, still, you cant go back to her now, or even still be friends, you need a restraining order, as cold as it sounds, staying in contact will just make things worse

and if she has indeed cheated, then you really really should keep away, can I ask what you mean by rock bottom? drugs?
chica

United States

#7 May 2, 2011
We can't always clearly see ourselves when we are too close to a situation and when there is emotional turmoil, it is more difficult. I commend you for seeking counseling.

Personally, I would give you the advice to let the counselor take over so she can have the opportunity to work on taking care of herself without the influence of any current relationships.

In my opinion, a relationship is built on trust, understanding, and enjoying eachother's company. It is also important to have time to yourself. Balance is the key. I wouldn't want the stress of walking on eggshells each day, or having someone you love feel the need to be vindictive. Nobody deserves this.

Good luck with whatever you decide, as you are the only one that really knows how to handle this. It sounds like you are on the right path...
to u

United States

#8 May 2, 2011
I fell in love with an emotionally unstable man. The more we both allowed God to fulfill our lives, the better he got with ups and downs. If you love her, what can it hurt?
I Remember U

AOL

#9 May 2, 2011
Curious wrote:
Many years ago I fell in love with an emotionally unstable woman. All of the classic signs were there in the beginning. I chose to ignore them. I knew eventually she would get her self involved in other situations by cheating on me and sharing the sex I thought was sacred. I chose not to marry her as a means of self protection. She's a sweet, wonderful and beautiful person with old world values. But, her emotions get the bet of her which leads to manipulative, deceitful, and fraudulent behavior.
I would dare say she's the vindictive type as much as she just makes poor choices driven by emotion. That's the story of her life. Good men who loved her all ran for the hills. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and now I feel trapped. I'm getting help in order to move on.
Recently, she finally hit rock bottom and I convinced her to seek professional help through extensive psychotherapy treatments. I'm proud she's finally getting it. She doesn't want to lose me but I keep telling her she should see my friendship as my commitment to her after what she did. That's not good enough for her..she wants more and is scared to face life alone
Now, she's suicidal and sees no purpose in life because I'm moving on. Sure, I feel terrible for her. My question is this...and yes it's topix but I'll put it out there:
Can An Emotionally Unstable Woman Ever Be Trusted Again?
Didn't u write a long dissertation a cpl yrs ago on the same subject? It was hysterical! So funny, that I brought it to work to share. We all nearly pissed our pants. I think I still have a print-out somewhere. PS......that first one was ALOT more funny than this one.
Kristoff

Rome, NY

#10 May 2, 2011
I Remember U wrote:
<quoted text>Didn't u write a long dissertation a cpl yrs ago on the same subject? It was hysterical! So funny, that I brought it to work to share. We all nearly pissed our pants. I think I still have a print-out somewhere. PS......that first one was ALOT more funny than this one.
No I think I remember the one you mean. There are a couple really funny things like this around.
Kristoff

Rome, NY

#11 May 2, 2011
been there 50 x wrote:
I would dare say she's the vindictive type as much as she just makes poor choices driven by emotion. That's the story of her life. Good men who loved her all ran for the hills.
Is her name Nikki Hanson? LOL!
If we both know the same Nikki H thats really funny theres not to many people as wak as that one! I feel bad for u u must really kno her eh heh heh hehe heh!
Curious

United States

#12 May 2, 2011
darkie wrote:
I'm not trying to be the bad guy, or mean... but if you stay in contact with her, that would just be plain stupid, she is more than just emotionally unstable,
even if some twisted way she really does love you, and means it, and wants to kill herself if she cant be with you, still, you cant go back to her now, or even still be friends, you need a restraining order, as cold as it sounds, staying in contact will just make things worse
and if she has indeed cheated, then you really really should keep away, can I ask what you mean by rock bottom? drugs?
Facing possible felony charges. Took some guy who was throwing money at her for over $100 grand. His adult kids lost some inheritance cash and they are just a tad bit upset.

“Upscale Trailer Trash”

Level 4

Since: Jan 09

Sauquoit

#13 May 3, 2011
RUN! Change your number, move if possible
Veeder Volz

Rome, NY

#14 May 3, 2011
Curious wrote:
<quoted text>
Facing possible felony charges. Took some guy who was throwing money at her for over $100 grand. His adult kids lost some inheritance cash and they are just a tad bit upset.
If you are related to or work in LAW ENFORCEMENT don't worry they'll cover for you. What a little probation for 100k?
not good

United States

#15 May 3, 2011
is she good in bed? big hooters? swallow? 2 yesses and keep her
Sally Cockburn

Portland, OR

#16 May 3, 2011
I find it interesting that you understood what she was like but choose to stay with her anyways. Now it's too much you are running away? If you can't be with her at her worst, you don't deserve her at her best. I hope she sees that she deserves a more stable man and gets over the suicidal feelings. BTW, us crazy bitches are the best in bed so have fun with "sex only on Tuesday, no anal, emotionally stable" next girlfriend. You'll miss fucking the daddy issues out of someone and get bored.
truth

Oxford, NY

#17 May 3, 2011
Emotionally Unstable = a Woman
Scotty

Rome, NY

#18 May 3, 2011
Sally Cockburn wrote:
I find it interesting that you understood what she was like but choose to stay with her anyways. Now it's too much you are running away? If you can't be with her at her worst, you don't deserve her at her best. I hope she sees that she deserves a more stable man and gets over the suicidal feelings. BTW, us crazy bitches are the best in bed so have fun with "sex only on Tuesday, no anal, emotionally stable" next girlfriend. You'll miss fucking the daddy issues out of someone and get bored.
EW you sound like a real unclassy pig!
Randy

Lake Placid, NY

#19 May 3, 2011
Sally Cockburn wrote:
I find it interesting that you understood what she was like but choose to stay with her anyways. Now it's too much you are running away? If you can't be with her at her worst, you don't deserve her at her best. I hope she sees that she deserves a more stable man and gets over the suicidal feelings. BTW, us crazy bitches are the best in bed so have fun with "sex only on Tuesday, no anal, emotionally stable" next girlfriend. You'll miss fucking the daddy issues out of someone and get bored.
Personally, I'd rather have an emotionally stable woman with less sex than a pyscho nympho who bangs anything she can find just to get money. Way too much work. She should do herself in and put an end to her pain and suffering. Too many lives are getting ruined by these narcissistic nut jobs. The only ones making out here are the divorce lawyers, shrinks, private investigators, and pharmaceutical companies.
Sally Cockburn

United States

#20 May 3, 2011
Scotty wrote:
<quoted text>EW you sound like a real unclassy pig!
And you sound boring
Sally Cockburn

United States

#21 May 3, 2011
Randy wrote:
<quoted text>
Personally, I'd rather have an emotionally stable woman with less sex than a pyscho nympho who bangs anything she can find just to get money..
You realize you aren't making any sense right? How does emotionally unstable = money grubbing cheater? Sounds like YOU are probably the unstable one!
Yepp

Utica, NY

#22 May 3, 2011
Sally Cockburn wrote:
<quoted text>
And you sound boring
She is.

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