Choose between family or boyfriend

Posted in the Utica Forum

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Stuck

Watertown, NY

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#1
Aug 29, 2012
 
My family has stopped talking to me because I have gotten back with my ex boyfriend. I want to give him another chance because I love him. Problem is my family keeps telling me I'm crazy and that I'm making a mistake.He wants to marry me but if I do my family will probably want nothing to do with me anymore.Anyone have a similar situation ? if so what was the outcome? thanks in advance
living it

Utica, NY

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#2
Aug 29, 2012
 
Stuck wrote:
My family has stopped talking to me because I have gotten back with my ex boyfriend. I want to give him another chance because I love him. Problem is my family keeps telling me I'm crazy and that I'm making a mistake.He wants to marry me but if I do my family will probably want nothing to do with me anymore.Anyone have a similar situation ? if so what was the outcome? thanks in advance
Yes, my family disapproves of the woman I dated for many years for a number of reasons. Truthfully, she was never given a fair chance. Furthermore, I went through a bitter divorce and lost everything. They helped me get back on my feet. Now they wave the inheritance flag in front of me. They are not the controlling type but use money as a tool to get their way. The money is substantial. Essentially, I've had to move out of town to maintain my relationship behind closed doors. It sucks but we make it work. It's a sacrifice but the payoff will be big. Keep the faith and play the game. Family will make you believe your the nutty one when in reality they are dictating your life and wanting what they feel is only best for you. Can't fault them there but, I agree, it's frustrating.
Table of one

Utica, NY

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#3
Aug 29, 2012
 

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They will love and accept anyone you bring into your life. I wouldnt worry about it.
Hey stuck

Camillus, NY

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#4
Aug 29, 2012
 

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What did he do that you are giving him another chance? Men will come and go but you only have one family. And to living it - it's a small world, your family probably knows what is going on.
depends

Pittsfield, MA

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#5
Aug 29, 2012
 

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If he beats on you run. Womanizer run. Gambler run.drunk run.(unless attends treatment year plus) if he cheated and really regretful just give it some time.no need to rush.
dummypants

United States

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#6
Aug 29, 2012
 

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Your family is correct.
it depends

Utica, NY

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#7
Aug 29, 2012
 
Hey stuck wrote:
What did he do that you are giving him another chance? Men will come and go but you only have one family. And to living it - it's a small world, your family probably knows what is going on.
definitely depends on what you are giving him another chance about. but don't feel like you have to choose your family automatically. if your family is like my family you might not want to choose them either.
Keeping It Real

Watertown, NY

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#8
Aug 29, 2012
 

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ONLY POLISH PEOPLE HAVE THESE ISSUES. AND ITS NOT LOVE. ITS ABOUT GOSSIP. THEY WORRY ABOUT WHO IS TALKING ABOUT WHO. MARRY SOMEONE THATS NOT POLISH AND YOU WILL HAVE A GREAT MARRIAGE...
Stuck

Watertown, NY

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#9
Aug 29, 2012
 
I am very close to my family and thetruth is I know they are right about a lot of things concerning him and I. I can't help the fact I have feelings for him & we want to get married. im afraid if I go with my feelings I will regret it or if I end the relationship I will also regret it. Don't know what way to go!
Not so REAL

Watertown, NY

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#10
Aug 29, 2012
 

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Stop being silly. Your probably some bimbo sitting at home working, and stuffing your mouth with your ex's last night nutt sack. Please! and trying to make sense of what you did was either right or wrong. Your nuts and you should work for utica college with the rest of utica new yorks back yard cheaters. That a a seis pool if you ever wonder where they are dwelling. grow up idiot lol and get a real topix to talk about...
Yes Im FAT

Watertown, NY

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#11
Aug 29, 2012
 
LMFAO
Stuck

Watertown, NY

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#12
Aug 29, 2012
 
Keeping It Real wrote:
ONLY POLISH PEOPLE HAVE THESE ISSUES. AND ITS NOT LOVE. ITS ABOUT GOSSIP. THEY WORRY ABOUT WHO IS TALKING ABOUT WHO. MARRY SOMEONE THATS NOT POLISH AND YOU WILL HAVE A GREAT MARRIAGE...
No actually I'm from a big Italian family and very close to them. He is not Italian and dosent share the same background as I. This is also an issue I have had.
Nasty Giney

Watertown, NY

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#13
Aug 29, 2012
 
Stuck wrote:
<quoted text>No actually I'm from a big Italian family and very close to them. He is not Italian and dosent share the same background as I. This is also an issue I have had.
Liar
Reality

Utica, NY

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#14
Aug 29, 2012
 

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Family often sees the person for who they really are because they aren't "in love" with that person. It's not a problem if someone decides to spend their life with someone who is not good for them or of questionable character. It is a problem when someone expects their family to turn a blind eye to that person's actions, just because "they" are in love with them. Family is under no obligation to have a relationship with someone that a family member decides to be with.
Very common

New Hartford, NY

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#15
Aug 29, 2012
 
What about a family that disapproves, won't tell you directly to your face but makes it obvious by their actions? Then when you confront them, they deny what you say. I've experienced this level of judgement and there was never any particular incident or situation that took place. Fact is, family is willing to secretly disapprove of my choice of partner despite an outstanding personal track record on my behalf.
A parent

Whitesboro, NY

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#16
Aug 29, 2012
 

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If your parent disapproves of your current boyfriend, they must have a strong reason to do so. Remember, your parents have many more years of experience in judging a person's character than you do. Your decision is clouded with emotion while there dislike is based on experience.

Have you thought about what the long range situations will be if your parents absolutely want nothing to do with him:
1) Your Wedding Day and Reception - no financial help from your family.

2) Birthdays & Family Get togethers - will your husband be invited?

3) The birth and Christening of your first child - will your family show up - who will pay for the party after the Christening?

It will be a cold existence for your husband and you will have to decide, once again, to choose - stay home with hubby or go to the event and enjoy your family ALONE!!!!

Your family is in your blood and have loved you all your life - this boyfriend does not.

Think about your situation and start thinking with your brain - not your heart. Romance does NOT last as long as blood.
Oprah

Watertown, NY

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#17
Aug 29, 2012
 
A parent wrote:
If your parent disapproves of your current boyfriend, they must have a strong reason to do so. Remember, your parents have many more years of experience in judging a person's character than you do. Your decision is clouded with emotion while there dislike is based on experience.
Have you thought about what the long range situations will be if your parents absolutely want nothing to do with him:
1) Your Wedding Day and Reception - no financial help from your family.
2) Birthdays & Family Get togethers - will your husband be invited?
3) The birth and Christening of your first child - will your family show up - who will pay for the party after the Christening?
It will be a cold existence for your husband and you will have to decide, once again, to choose - stay home with hubby or go to the event and enjoy your family ALONE!!!!
Your family is in your blood and have loved you all your life - this boyfriend does not.
Think about your situation and start thinking with your brain - not your heart. Romance does NOT last as long as blood.
Great reply!Amen! Hopefully after reading that she will think about who and what really matters! Men come and go your family is there for keeps!
Truth Monger

New Hartford, NY

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#18
Aug 29, 2012
 

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Oprah wrote:
<quoted text>Great reply!Amen! Hopefully after reading that she will think about who and what really matters! Men come and go your family is there for keeps!
Parents need at some point not to exercise control tactics and respect their offspring who have a history of good decision making. If you don't like who your child is with, maybe you failed miserably as a parent. Take responsibility for a failed upbringing.
yep

Clare, MI

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#19
Aug 29, 2012
 
Renee.....go back to marc and get over it. Your family knows your nuts anyway.
why

Northville, MI

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#20
Aug 29, 2012
 
Why go back to him she was pulling plenty of balls while bartending.

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