Breaking News New Toilet

Breaking News New Toilet

Posted in the Utica Forum

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As Crack Ovr Little Falls

Whitesboro, NY

#1 Apr 26, 2014
Breaking news! WKTV has announced that a new toilet has been constructed on Moss Island in Little Falls! It's solar powered & cost $50,000! Now climbers can take a shit in a toilet & wipe their butts with t.p.! WKTV- where a new toilet is breaking news & it's major & earth shattering!
As Crack Ovr Little Falls

Whitesboro, NY

#2 Apr 26, 2014
According to WKTV's website the new toilet makes a splash! Yes, the new toilet is majorly & breaking news & wonderful! The new toilet in L.F. will bring in tourists who can't wait to take a leak in a solar powered toilet costing $50,000! The newfangled toilet will help to bring a chip plant to the valley!
As Crack Ovr Little Falls

Whitesboro, NY

#5 Apr 26, 2014
News Flash! WKTV reporting climber on Moss Island takes first dump in newfangled solar powered toilet in Little Falls & makes a splash! The station will have a live report from the scene with Gary Liberator reporting! WKTV will also have live footage from the scene when climber takes first leak in new toilet! Stay tuned for the 6 o'clock news report on this major event!
WKTV- where a new solar powered toilet is breaking news & it's majorly & earth shattering!
Boilermaker scamz

United States

#6 Apr 26, 2014
Funny.
But Wait

Lowville, NY

#7 Apr 26, 2014
And they are reporting right now that it was invented right there in utica
As Crk Over Little Falls

Whitesboro, NY

#8 Apr 26, 2014
Newsflash! WKTV reporting major malfunction with newfangled solar powered toilet on Moss Island in Little Falls! The toilet is apparently plugged up after climber takes huge dump in toilet & it's solar power couldn't handle the turd, malfunctioning due to cloud filled skies! Officials are in a panic! Gary Liberators is reportedly on the way to the scene where a live feed will be set up to keep viewers informed on this breaking story! Stay tuned folks as newfangled solar powered toilet in the valley fails to function on this cloudy day! WKTV headed to the scene!
As Crk Over Little Falls

Whitesboro, NY

#9 Apr 26, 2014
WKTV- where a new toilet installation is breaking news, it's majorly & earth shattering!
Really

Woodbury, NJ

#10 Apr 26, 2014
Fifty grand for a toilet? Only in central New York and then it's celebrated with a ribbon cutting cermony. What a joke.
Az Crack Ovr Little Falls

Whitesboro, NY

#11 Apr 26, 2014
Really wrote:
Fifty grand for a toilet? Only in central New York and then it's celebrated with a ribbon cutting cermony. What a joke.
Yes but it's solar powered! Rock climbers can now take a leak in a solar powered crapper! And it's earth friendly! It's a major story on WKTV where a new toilet is breaking news, it's majorly & earth shattering!
kinneys

Rome, NY

#12 Apr 26, 2014
how's work
GoofStock 1899

United States

#13 Apr 26, 2014
WKTV

UTICA - In preparation for the jinormous major million-car pilgrimage expected for the 2014 Central New York tourist season, today Senator Joseph A. Griffo (Rerun- Rome) and Assemblyman Anthony Brindisi (Douche-New Hartford) announced another major tourism grant handed down as a trinket from NY Governor Andrew M. Cuomo (Douche) to bolster the Governor's sagging approval ratings.

The $500 million major dollar grant will pay for improvements to the Herkimer, Utica and Rome exits on the New York State Thruway. Charles A. Gaytano & Sons Substandard Construction Co. "won" the "bid" as did 2 other long-time favorites of Andrew Cuomo.

The improvements include expanding the number of lanes and ramps entering and leaving the Thruway, and adding over120 stop lights in DOT approved locations to slow traffic and thus increase business in the improved areas.

In addition to the specified contractors, the electrical aspects will be supervised and observed by professors and students from the new SUNY IT Super Nano Bonnano College of Nano-Kabuki and clueless officials from the Mohawk Valley EDGE.

Steve DiMeo of the Mohawk Valley Edge explained the theory...
"The cronies and I are happy that Governor Cuomo saw our vision and we are so appreciative of Senator Griffo and Assemblymen Brindisi for the money." Dimeo said. "We can't thank them enough but if you'll give us enough air time we would try."
He added "Oh, and the students and professors will use the streetlights as a learning tool so they see real-world applications of the things they will need to understand if CNY is to compete on a major-national-global level. High-nanotech things like "wire" and "plug". You can certainly feel the proactive synergy through the community! If this doesn't "put Utica-Marcy SUNY on the map" nothing will! And you know, while many people say 'What does this have to do with me I'm a shoe salesman, or a cop or a national tomato pie baron?' Well it has everything to do with them too! These tax dollars trickle back down to the little people and then they can pay their outstanding property and school taxes in NY! Since NY is the highest taxed state in the country every little bit helps. And jobs! You know, unspecified and supersekrit nano-studies show that for every nano-nano in NY governor Cuomo creates, that creates 12 little-people jobs!"
GoofStock 1899

United States

#14 Apr 26, 2014
At the announcement celebration held in the Atlas-Shrugged-Memorial Sports Gym at the SUNY Marcy College of Hyper Nano Nano... super major internationally and galactically famous and renowned household name pollster John Zogby agreed.

"You have no idea what a great boon this will be to the economy!" He yelled while dancing with Observer Dispatch Queen Donna Donovan.

"My ridiculously skewed and carefully worded polls show that those cars will bring millions - that's with an "M"!- MILLION of people to the area to spend their money on these attractive destinations." He emphasized.

"The economy here is going to be like Woodstock '99 except every day now! It helps everyone... the jackboot armies of liberal NY nannystate union police arrest many, and that helps the public safety and prison and jail economy. Those tourists run out of gas, break down from potholes in the devastated CNY infrastructure, that creates jobs for the scab fender pounders. Even the heroin addicts, crackhead muggers and armed robbers running around with no prospects at all benefit from the throngs of humanity! We celebrate the suckers the new nano-jobs and toilet at Moss Island will surely bring! It's a win win situation!"

Later, while munching catered AquaVino-On-The-Sewer Hors d'oeuvre he added-
"My superpolls also show that these grants are the "right thing" for New York voters. 99% of New York voters approve of Joe Griffo, Anthony Brindisi and Governor Cuomo for this blessing from their hearts! Finally Central New York will be able to reap the rewards of 30 years of Liberal Democrat and incest-partisan genius planning from our extra-smart leaders."

Aren't you happy?" he asked.
Az Crack Ovr Little Falls

Whitesboro, NY

#15 Apr 26, 2014
Major breaking news! Dimeo announces the new nano factory will be solar powered! The panels will be the size of Manhattan. Just like the solar powered toilet in the metropolis of Little Falls only on a larger scale!
Hmmm

Cohoes, NY

#17 Apr 26, 2014
You have too much time on your hands. The solar toilet is a welcome addition, given the number of people who come every weekend from all over the NE to climb at Moss Island. Spare us the cynicism.
ODs and Riggies

Clifton Park, NY

#18 May 1, 2014
Hmmm wrote:
You have too much time on your hands. The solar toilet is a welcome addition, given the number of people who come every weekend from all over the NE to climb at Moss Island. Spare us the cynicism.
"All over the NE". Lol!

I grew up in the utica region and currently live in Albany and I've never heard of moss island before this story. Please save your sense of self importance. No one cares about this place.
az crack ovr little falls

Whitesboro, NY

#19 May 1, 2014
Breaking news! Newfangled solar powered toilet in little falls continue to malfunction due to cloudy skies! Rock climbers demand action! Mayor of Little Falls copes with p.r. disaster! Rock climbers calling for resignation of officials responsible for toilet fau paux! Rock climber interviewed by WKTV tells Gary Liberator in exclusive interview that he took dump in new toilet whereupon 'the toilet malfunctioned forcing him to finish his business in brush'! Rock climbers calling for investigation as to why solar powered $50,000 toilet fails to splash due to cloudy skies & rain! Officials red faced over toilet malfunction! Gov. Cuomo asks Atty. General to investigate! Stay tuned to WKTV for any further developments in this story!
WKTV where a new toilet is breaking news, it's earth shattering & majorly!
az crack ovr little falls

Whitesboro, NY

#20 May 1, 2014
Majorly followup to malfunctioning $50,000 solar powered toilet in L.F! Mayor of L.F. tells WKTV's Gary Liberastore that he'll get to the "bottom" of toilet malfunction! Mayor calls designer of toilet an "azs wipe" for not accounting for leaky weather systems in c.n.y. in design of solar powered toilet! Officials in contact with Gov. Cuomo's office in order to see how leaky toilet can be addressed!

Stay tuned to WKTV News for any new developments on this breaking story!
az crack ovr little falls

Whitesboro, NY

#21 May 1, 2014
This just in! Mayor of Little Falls tells wktv's Gary Liberatore, "splash my azs, the thing don't flush"! "It's a piece of crap"!
Solar Powered Riggies

Clifton Park, NY

#22 May 1, 2014
az crack ovr little falls wrote:
Majorly followup to malfunctioning $50,000 solar powered toilet in L.F! Mayor of L.F. tells WKTV's Gary Liberastore that he'll get to the "bottom" of toilet malfunction! Mayor calls designer of toilet an "azs wipe" for not accounting for leaky weather systems in c.n.y. in design of solar powered toilet! Officials in contact with Gov. Cuomo's office in order to see how leaky toilet can be addressed!
Stay tuned to WKTV News for any new developments on this breaking story!
Lol!
az crack ovr little falls

Whitesboro, NY

#23 May 1, 2014
This just in over news wire! Officials taken aback when they realize that $50,000 solar powered toilet wont splash as darkness falls in Little Falls! Mayor shyts a brick as rock climbers threaten boycott of new toilet! Political party allegiances crack as public relations disaster occurs when solar powered toilet can't handle load as darkness falls! Mayor up in arms as leaks to the media occur from somewhere in his office!
Stay tuned to WKTV as further developments occur on this major news story!

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