I want my ex back
same ole song

United States

#22 May 27, 2012
You prrobably told him you loved him too.I'm sure that put the hook in him. That means everything to a good man. Glad he moved on and found everything in the new one that you were to selfish to give.
brad falcone

Lowville, NY

#23 May 27, 2012
Diamond girl wrote:
How do I get my ex to come back to me?We haven't been apart too long & he already has a new girlfriend. I know he really loved me but I wasn't the best gfriend to him.How can I convince him things would be different & to leave her and come back to me?
Diamond Girl,

Love is a two way street, there was obviously something missing in your relationship for him to move on. Relationships are based and nurtured on mutual respect for one another and that respect has to be genuine, not just words, but actions!! You have to ask yourself was it love or infatuation, or the hope of what you desired in a man. As humans, we feel the need to be loved and respected and we very often settle for less because of our own insecurities. I'm not saying your an insecure lady, but someone who is secure and strong minded will not settle for less than what they desire in a mate. Most relationships don't work because the commitment and compromise it takes is just to much for most people to handle. Guys for the most part think more on the sexual end of the relationship while the lady's need their emotional needs fulfilled. Maybe you and your ex just missed the boat on both your needs and now he found someone who he thinks will be better for him. He just might come back to you when he realizes he's confused again for whatever reason, but to just take him back, might not be in your best interest. Stay true to yourself and don't just settle like so many lady's do. You asked how you can convince him things will be different, if your the one that has to change for things to be different, you're living your life for someone else s needs and that daily stress will make you very unhappy inside I promise you. I would never live my life pleasing someone else at the cost of my own feelings, it's so not worth it!! Good luck to you.
Diamond girl

Syracuse, NY

#24 May 27, 2012
@brad falcone Thank you for the last comment. Everything you stated was right on the money & so true.i wish I did things differently but unfortunately that's not how things work.All I could do is take what I learned & move on.. thanks again for your kind words.much appreciated!
yank

Cortland, NY

#25 May 27, 2012
you only want him now because somebody else has him,, its the old i dont want him/her but i dont want anybody else to have them either..
Brittney

Lowville, NY

#26 May 27, 2012
brad falcone wrote:
<quoted text>
Diamond Girl,
Love is a two way street, there was obviously something missing in your relationship for him to move on. Relationships are based and nurtured on mutual respect for one another and that respect has to be genuine, not just words, but actions!! You have to ask yourself was it love or infatuation, or the hope of what you desired in a man. As humans, we feel the need to be loved and respected and we very often settle for less because of our own insecurities. I'm not saying your an insecure lady, but someone who is secure and strong minded will not settle for less than what they desire in a mate. Most relationships don't work because the commitment and compromise it takes is just to much for most people to handle. Guys for the most part think more on the sexual end of the relationship while the lady's need their emotional needs fulfilled. Maybe you and your ex just missed the boat on both your needs and now he found someone who he thinks will be better for him. He just might come back to you when he realizes he's confused again for whatever reason, but to just take him back, might not be in your best interest. Stay true to yourself and don't just settle like so many lady's do. You asked how you can convince him things will be different, if your the one that has to change for things to be different, you're living your life for someone else s needs and that daily stress will make you very unhappy inside I promise you. I would never live my life pleasing someone else at the cost of my own feelings, it's so not worth it!! Good luck to you.
Okay Brad, two things. How did you get so insightful? And will you marry me Lol!!!!!!
eastutica

Queens Village, NY

#27 May 27, 2012
Stop your bitchin you did it to yourself .why dont you hook up with a nice BLACKGUY go forth and populate .and be a burden on the taxpayers

KY WELLER
Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Location hidden

#28 May 27, 2012
Diamond girl wrote:
I wasn't playing with his feelings. I knew I loved him but wasn't used to having someone there all the time & felt overwhelmed a lot. I am very independent and was used to living solo. Now that I have lost him I know I made a huge mistake. I have told him but I think it's too late. I hope everyday his new relationship doesn't work & he comes back to me
What did you do to him to chase him away?
scent of a woman

Rome, NY

#29 May 27, 2012
I want mine back too!!! Guess its not going to happen though your not only one in same boat!
eastutica

Queens Village, NY

#30 May 27, 2012
bottom line is she found out the grass WAS NOT Greener on the other side of the fence
Not cocky

Oriskany Falls, NY

#31 May 27, 2012
While Brad Falcone made some good points, at 36, you're too old to be learning High School lessons.

An ex GF treated me badly due to her lack of trust from prior relationships, lack of honesty on her part, and so on. The constant excuse I heard was how I treated her so much better than anyone before me. Well, I learned something from that relationship...that zebras do not change stripes. She wanted me back and all I could see was the same zebra I saw before, regardless of her claims to have changed. Your ex BF may respond the same way someday because it sounds like you broke his heart.

If you treated him poorly, it's on you and your ex moving on is the best thing for the both of you. Take the lesson you learned and move on ...find happiness with someone else someday and BE HONEST to yourself and those you date.

If the day comes where you must say something to your ex, I think it should be a "thank you" for teaching you so much about life and respect. State how you have grown from the experience. Don't beg, just state the facts.

However, this level of understanding will not happen in a short period of time. You have some serious soul searching to do first. Good luck.
fifty five

Lowville, NY

#32 May 27, 2012
ONE WOMAN'S GARBAGE IS ANOTHER WOMAN'S TREASURE
wahwahwah

Hamilton, NY

#33 May 27, 2012
im sorry but im not going to sugarcoat any of this i was feed the same line from a girl when i was dating for a year sorry but your to nice! she was young and pretty and had alot going for her long story short her new guy liked to hit her and when that happened i didnt seem too nice anymore well her i am i own my own business doing great and the last time i saw her 8 years ago she had a kid and one on the way with the you guessed the guy that likes to hit never did anything with her life except have babys and work meaningless jobs and maybe im a azzhole but whenever i think of her all i can think of is how good my wife treats me and all i can do is laugh!....its not our fault that some of us were raised to respect women and appreciate them, i can only hope that he sees you some day and feels the same way, you blew it skankster just like all those bikers behind the bars hope thats badboy enogh for you
bimbo

Sherburne, NY

#34 May 27, 2012
Yea but can she suck a beachball thru a garden hose?? I THINK NOT!!

KY WELLER
Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Location hidden

#35 May 27, 2012
bimbo wrote:
Yea but can she suck a beachball thru a garden hose?? I THINK NOT!!
Inflated?
yank

Cortland, NY

#36 May 28, 2012
bottom line no good can ever come from dealing with an ex!
Real Cheese

Whitesboro, NY

#37 May 28, 2012
You don't want your ex back, you want the fantasy of reliving the good times (which were probably few and far between).

When my last one left I was like you, I wanted her back. I pulled out all the stops and was on the verge of getting her to change her mind when one of her GFs (who liked me and thought I was a "nice" guy) told me the truth about her -she was running around behind my back.

It all made sense but when emotions get in the way logic goes bye bye and I began to doubt what her GF told me (blamed the GF, maybe SHE wanted me).

It all turned out to be true and when I had real proof, I switched gears and DIVORCED her as fast as possible. I still hurt over the whole affair then but knew what I had to do and did it as fast as possible so as to not be able to change my mind later.

Divorcing her was the best thing I ever did. The next thing is to STAY AWAY from your ex 100% of the time!

Guys, Gals, the difference between good relationships and bad ones are this:

You don't want the trophy wife (or husband for the gals). You want the down to earth, employed/financially secure AVERAGE Joe or Jane, the one that makes a good potato salad and isn't afraid to get dirt under her fingernails. A good sense of humor helps to get through the crap life throws at you.

The biggest hint you have a winner is how reliable are they, do they do what they say they will, do they have a regular routine and are they there for you when the chips are down?

Good luck to the original author of this thread - but do both yourself and your ex a favor.

MOVE ON. Get over it. Learn from the mistakes made. Get some ethics and standards and stick to them. Luck favors the prepared, start preparing.
Rodeo

Syracuse, NY

#38 May 28, 2012
yank wrote:
bottom line no good can ever come from dealing with an ex!
Depends on the circumstances.i got back with an exgirlfriend after being apart awhile & it made our relationship stronger & were both very happy so every situation is different
brad falcone

Lowville, NY

#39 May 28, 2012
Real Cheese wrote:
You don't want your ex back, you want the fantasy of reliving the good times (which were probably few and far between).
When my last one left I was like you, I wanted her back. I pulled out all the stops and was on the verge of getting her to change her mind when one of her GFs (who liked me and thought I was a "nice" guy) told me the truth about her -she was running around behind my back.
It all made sense but when emotions get in the way logic goes bye bye and I began to doubt what her GF told me (blamed the GF, maybe SHE wanted me).
It all turned out to be true and when I had real proof, I switched gears and DIVORCED her as fast as possible. I still hurt over the whole affair then but knew what I had to do and did it as fast as possible so as to not be able to change my mind later.
Divorcing her was the best thing I ever did. The next thing is to STAY AWAY from your ex 100% of the time!
Guys, Gals, the difference between good relationships and bad ones are this:
You don't want the trophy wife (or husband for the gals). You want the down to earth, employed/financially secure AVERAGE Joe or Jane, the one that makes a good potato salad and isn't afraid to get dirt under her fingernails. A good sense of humor helps to get through the crap life throws at you.
The biggest hint you have a winner is how reliable are they, do they do what they say they will, do they have a regular routine and are they there for you when the chips are down?
Good luck to the original author of this thread - but do both yourself and your ex a favor.
MOVE ON. Get over it. Learn from the mistakes made. Get some ethics and standards and stick to them. Luck favors the prepared, start preparing.
This post says it all. Well said!!
brad falcone

Lowville, NY

#41 May 28, 2012
rick t wrote:
<quoted text>you are just a pig to put it on this
She's not a pig. Sometime people just need to put their feelings into words. This is a place known for sarcasm as your post proves. She can take what she wants from some posts and ignore the ones that does nothing for her situation.
mytwocents

Hamilton, NY

#42 May 28, 2012
sounds like someone messed up! if you cant notice a good guy when you have one then that means that deep down inside you dont really want one

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Utica Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Who is funding the Aud renovations? 10 min Welfare wendy 541
Trump Blinded By Eclipse 13 min Reverse 6
venice pizza 18 min Matt A 13
Hospital parking garage going to generate milli... 28 min Sickle and hammer 2
Slice Pizzeria 48 min lynn 2
NYS Police working hard to ruin Saranac Thursday 2 hr Thedude 17
Ian J. Bullen speeding wreckless lunatic 2 hr I told yah 54
Not All Nazis Are Bad 3 hr BIZZARR-O-RAMA 92
Let's tear down Martin Luther King's statue 4 hr DJ L 124
No Downtown hospital 13 hr Trump WINNING 147

Utica Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Utica Mortgages