I am a Sex Offender with PTSD!

Posted in the Utica Forum

Changed Man

Watertown, NY

#1 Nov 17, 2012
22 Years ago I had sex with a 16 year old girl when I was 22. We became Prego and after the baby was born and paternity was established I was charged with Rape in the 3rd degree and given probation. I went to school received my Post-Graduate Degree andwe later married and had to more children. Once the laws changed I was forced to Register and had my picture placed online. We lived near a school and I was forced to move. I was no longer allowed to attend my daughters ( I have 3) school plays or events, go to Parent Teacher conferences or Pick them up or drop them off in front of their school. I ended up losing my job where I made close to 6 Figures do to the constant harassment and ridicule from fellow co-workers. Had my picture printed out and posted in the board room from the Sex Offender Web site. So i accepted a Severance package. Since then I have been unable to get a job anywhere, well anywhere my qualifications allow. I began seeing a Psychiatrist and was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. So I applied for and received SSDI, because the Federal Judge ruled that the constant harassment I endured and still endure has caused me great psychological trauma. So I now receive almost $1,200 a month is SSDI $200 in Food Stamps.$1,400 in Tax Payer Dollars go to me because I am on the Sex Offender Registry and cannot work for marrying my Daughters mother 20 years ago when she was 18. We had a Relationship when she was 16. I used to pay more per month in Taxes then I receive in Benefits. This is just not right. We are still together and very much on love but the law says I corrupted her and am a danger to the public for something that happened 22 years ago. I would much rather work and contribute to my community then exploit it, but alas I cannot. In time these inhuman and unconstitutional laws will change but until then I will sit how with 6 years of higher education and collect my Disability and Food Stamps. The Law is wrong and while I agree certain people should be on this list, but we should not all be lumped together in the same category. I was in a relationship and ended up marrying the same woman over 2 decades ago. Never have been arrested for anything else. However I am listed as a Level 2 Sex Offender and have to register with people who Molest 5 and 6 year old kids. People that Forcibly rape others. While what I did may not have been legally right , I was and still am in love with the same woman. Until actually take a serious look at these laws and Registration levels taxes will continue to rise and more and more people such as my self will be persecuted for life. Take a Stand people!
Get over urself

Watertown, NY

#2 Nov 18, 2012
Take 200 Xanax and don't call me in the Morning.
Tree Hugger

Utica, NY

#4 Nov 18, 2012
Quit Complaining Loser....Many Many Moon Crickets would love to be in your situation...Sit on your bumm and keep collecting welfare....And by the way, any of your daughters Hott???? Any under 18????
the real bob

Dexter, NY

#5 Nov 18, 2012
Your story doesn't add up. You write that you married the girl you molested and impregnated 22 years ago so I assume this means you are living together. But then you write that you are banned from having any contact with your kids. How can you guys all live together as a family and yet you are a registered sex offender. Nice try with this fake story. By the way, there is a big age difference between a 22 year old and a 16 year old. I assume that you were finished with college and working at the age of 22 so what were you doing messing around with a teenage girl who was still in high school? Shame!
buggz

United States

#6 Nov 18, 2012
the real bob wrote:
Your story doesn't add up. You write that you married the girl you molested and impregnated 22 years ago so I assume this means you are living together. But then you write that you are banned from having any contact with your kids. How can you guys all live together as a family and yet you are a registered sex offender. Nice try with this fake story. By the way, there is a big age difference between a 22 year old and a 16 year old. I assume that you were finished with college and working at the age of 22 so what were you doing messing around with a teenage girl who was still in high school? Shame!
he said he cant go to hi daughters school
bob

Dexter, NY

#7 Nov 18, 2012
buggz wrote:
<quoted text>he said he cant go to hi daughters school
He can't go to his daughters' school but he can live with his daughters? If this is the case then the law is obviously not working.
Tree Hugger

Utica, NY

#8 Nov 18, 2012
Sad thing is, he probably lusts over his daughters and his daughters underage friends too....
Changed Man

Watertown, NY

#9 Nov 19, 2012
I thank the people that responded with intellegance and respect. I am aware what I did was against the law, I am also aware that in 32 other states what I did is not even a crime. I accept my punishment, however what I did not relaize when I plead guilty was the effect this would have on my children. Not leaglly being allowed to attend their graduations, school events etc. Having to explain why was difficult as they were active in sports in school and involved in many clubs at school was not easy. I understood posting this on this site was not the best idea and would attract peopel who are filled with hate and lack the knowledge and education to state a well informed opinion, but I listed it none the less. One person says I lusted after my daughers? Because I was envolved with their mother when she was 1 year to young 22 years ago, that makes me lust after my own children? Or others? Of course this is a hateful comment ment to cause nothing but spreading hate. I can accept my punishment and I did however when I plead guilty I was only supposed to be listed for 10 years and it has changed to life. I have never been arrested again for ANY crime. Yet I am subject to a lifetime of registration Subject to releif. I have to petetion the court and ask to be Lowered to a Level 1 then ask to be removed. That would mean I would have to appear in front of Judge Dwyer and plead my case. My lawyer informed me for $1500 he could do the paperwork but I would probably be shot down, as Judge Dwyer isn't a kind and understanding man. From what I have heard he is extremely arrogant and has never granted a Level ajustment. I suppose I am condemned to a lifetime of registering, I will accept that and continue to be a law abiding citizen. Maybe someday the laws will be reevaluated and seen for what they truly are, continued persecution and inhuman,
hank hill

Washington, DC

#10 Nov 19, 2012
Changed Man wrote:
I thank the people that responded with intellegance and respect. I am aware what I did was against the law, I am also aware that in 32 other states what I did is not even a crime. I accept my punishment, however what I did not relaize when I plead guilty was the effect this would have on my children. Not leaglly being allowed to attend their graduations, school events etc. Having to explain why was difficult as they were active in sports in school and involved in many clubs at school was not easy. I understood posting this on this site was not the best idea and would attract peopel who are filled with hate and lack the knowledge and education to state a well informed opinion, but I listed it none the less. One person says I lusted after my daughers? Because I was envolved with their mother when she was 1 year to young 22 years ago, that makes me lust after my own children? Or others? Of course this is a hateful comment ment to cause nothing but spreading hate. I can accept my punishment and I did however when I plead guilty I was only supposed to be listed for 10 years and it has changed to life. I have never been arrested again for ANY crime. Yet I am subject to a lifetime of registration Subject to releif. I have to petetion the court and ask to be Lowered to a Level 1 then ask to be removed. That would mean I would have to appear in front of Judge Dwyer and plead my case. My lawyer informed me for $1500 he could do the paperwork but I would probably be shot down, as Judge Dwyer isn't a kind and understanding man. From what I have heard he is extremely arrogant and has never granted a Level ajustment. I suppose I am condemned to a lifetime of registering, I will accept that and continue to be a law abiding citizen. Maybe someday the laws will be reevaluated and seen for what they truly are, continued persecution and inhuman,
they could change the laws today and it really wouldnt change your situation. Whats done is done. Ppl arent going to change their mind about you so your life would still be crap. It may help others in the future but your story will stay the same. You had to leave your job and ppl know why you cant go to your kids school functions. If the law was changed today and you could now attend you might go to one of their school functions before you put them and yourself through hell for a second. I dont agree with the law in this case but you pled guilty and knew it was againt the law to begin with. The registry is to protect the general public, if you werent on that site, wouldn't you want to know if there was a rapist or child molester in your neighborhood so you could protect your children? Thats all any of the rest of us want from it too.

That being said, yours is a shitty situation and it sucks that you're required to register because you were in love.
Truth Seeker

Watertown, NY

#11 Nov 19, 2012
I would ratehr know about a convicted murdered that was released. They don't have to report anything to anyone.
ralph kramden

Utica, NY

#12 Nov 19, 2012
Usually its the victims of sex offenders that end up with PTSD and not the offenders themselves. I would say you got pretty lucky.
slickfunk99

Kalamazoo, MI

#13 Apr 22, 2013
The harassment and physical abuse a SO receives in prison, the way they are looked at and treated by the public after their release, the constant registering and upkeep of social status with many different police and sheriff departments, the fear of some small infraction that would constitute a felony and send them back to prison, the lose of job, respect, and personal freedom, the shame they have to endure, the lose of any normal life....
I want to shot my self in the head just thinking about it.

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