An Open Dear John Letter

An Open Dear John Letter

Posted in the Utica Forum

Woman

Utica, NY

#1 Jun 20, 2012
Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than getting the phone call telling me you were leaving me. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a queer!’

Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. Remember the time I caught you feeling her up?

About those new silk boxers: I turned away that night from the frustration of your tiny package which never did satisfy me and because the $49.99 price tag was still on them. I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I won the $10,100.47 at Turning Stone, I quit my job & bought us two tickets to Cabo. But when I got home you were gone and the voicemail was on my cell. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the voicemail you left ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Your Ex-Wife, Happy As Hell & Free!
nice

United States

#2 Jun 20, 2012
Love it. May you get everything you want in more.
kelly

Utica, NY

#3 Jun 20, 2012
LMAO you go girl!
scent of a woman

New York, NY

#4 Jun 20, 2012
Woman wrote:
Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than getting the phone call telling me you were leaving me. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a queer!’

Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you canÂ’t say something nice, I didnÂ’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. Remember the time I caught you feeling her up?

About those new silk boxers: I turned away that night from the frustration of your tiny package which never did satisfy me and because the $49.99 price tag was still on them. I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I won the $10,100.47 at Turning Stone, I quit my job & bought us two tickets to Cabo. But when I got home you were gone and the voicemail was on my cell. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the voicemail you left ensures you wonÂ’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Your Ex-Wife, Happy As Hell & Free!
don't look back . Keep going Let her have your leftovers.
Jones

Utica, NY

#5 Jun 20, 2012
Now THAT'S a dear john letter. care to tell us who the scumbag is?
Really now

New York Mills, NY

#6 Jun 20, 2012
Jones wrote:
Now THAT'S a dear john letter. care to tell us who the scumbag is?
Anybody can cut and paste something so stupid
Passtime

Cortland, NY

#7 Jun 20, 2012
Woman wrote:
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than getting the phone call telling me you were leaving me. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a queer!’
Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. Remember the time I caught you feeling her up?
About those new silk boxers: I turned away that night from the frustration of your tiny package which never did satisfy me and because the $49.99 price tag was still on them. I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I won the $10,100.47 at Turning Stone, I quit my job & bought us two tickets to Cabo. But when I got home you were gone and the voicemail was on my cell. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the voicemail you left ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Your Ex-Wife, Happy As Hell & Free!
Happy huh? So what is bronze selling for in utica these days upstate corn-fed-hedgehog bronzedigger? Or don't they display that on the crawl along the bottom when you watch your soaps?

Poor guy you sound like the usual going-nowhere upstate hedgehog. Sad, my wife is out thinking she's surprising me with a rare car she's buying. Stay happy, and don't ever leave utica ok?

Too frikkin FUNNY!
ex husband

Olmstedville, NY

#8 Jun 20, 2012
glad you're happy. so am I. i'm finally rid of the fat puke pig you became.$10K in casino winnings is nothing compared to how much you've lost there. why do you think they call it gambling? sure i fcuked your sister. she's 100 times the lover you ever were and she swallows! go back to the TV you disgusting blob of stinky blubber. i hope you choke on your bon bons, siht your pants (again) and choke on your own puke.

To Educate One Hundred

“...Strike one”

Level 6

Since: Mar 12

Location hidden

#10 Jun 20, 2012
Woman wrote:
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than getting the phone call telling me you were leaving me. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a queer!’
Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. Remember the time I caught you feeling her up?
About those new silk boxers: I turned away that night from the frustration of your tiny package which never did satisfy me and because the $49.99 price tag was still on them. I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I won the $10,100.47 at Turning Stone, I quit my job & bought us two tickets to Cabo. But when I got home you were gone and the voicemail was on my cell. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the voicemail you left ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Your Ex-Wife, Happy As Hell & Free!
Your sister is CUTE.
come on now

United States

#11 Jun 20, 2012
what is it with people wanting to air their dirty laundry?

It seems like every other post is about a divorce, an ex-wife, ex-husband, who they see, what losers they are for doing it. The trend now is getting back with people that burned you. To what ends does this bring to the poster.

We all understand the hurt, the loneliness, and the anger. Go talk to someone about it. If you dont have anyone to talk to, get a dog.

You want everyone to know who the scumbag is? Then post your name.
Really

Brattleboro, VT

#12 Jun 20, 2012
You people are ridiculous. This whole thing was copied from an Internet joke site. It's been circulating for years. Sheesh. Anyone bout there know how to spell gullible?
LOL

Syracuse, NY

#13 Jun 20, 2012
Ive seen this one before, and to add you won 10k so you quit your job??? thats only like 2 months of pay, care to explain what you plan on doin after that?
Betty

Utica, NY

#14 Jun 20, 2012
I have a better one:

Dear John,

You thought you were such hot shit in high school. You walked around like the cock in the henhouse. Being on the football and hockey teams made you feel like a biiiggg man. You refused to dump your bitchy fat girlfriend even after we hooked up multiple times. You would tell me you loved me and then stand me up for dates and/or make me pay my own way.

Cut to now. You're a fat, bald loser who doesn't make north of $30K a year. You haven't gotten married, haven't been able to keep a girlfriend longer than 5 months. You're done. Over. Hope you enjoyed being a douchebag back then because I'm sure enjoying seeing you sink further and further into loserdom.

Peace!
Here is mine

Gouverneur, NY

#15 Jun 30, 2012
Dear Betty,
You were a great piece of ass. I'm so glad I was able to have you back then, especially after seeing you now. I thought maybe you would get the hint after I stood you up a couple times, but you kept coming back.
I see you just pushed out your third kid. Does each child come with 40 pounds of back fat? You look horrible. And your husband, working at the car wash. You must be so proud.
I have to go to work now, working outdoors as a Park Ranger for the DEC. Sure, it's not much money, but I do what i love. I have to shave my head first, I hate having hair. I'm so glad nothing ever came of us, or I'd be stuck with you, three kids and a crappy car wash job.
Bye
Teacher

Lowville, NY

#17 Jun 30, 2012
Big Dick wrote:
"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk free ?" And weather it takes a few minutes, a few days, a few months ... in the end, it always becomes free. C-Ya
It's whether, not weather. All the uneducated people come to this site I guess. Maybe you folks should enroll in some educational courses instead of wasting time in here.

KY WELLER
Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Location hidden

#19 Jun 30, 2012
I am nominating this thread as dumbest of the year!
ummm

United States

#20 Jun 30, 2012
Dear Lover,
Thanks for luring me in when I said No. I didn't want you or your drama. You came with extra baggage. Yours and hers all adult now. 8 to be exact. You worked many hours and found time to fit me in between your two jobs. Didn't matter where or when. Thank you also for telling me you loved me and calling and texting all hours of day and night.

I'm very happy you have now retired. I'm happy your thinking of selling your home and moving south. Of course with the hag that cheated on you. If I recall you saying she was sloppy, endless nights of you complaining of her and of the sibling rivalry between her children and tours.
I'm blessed for have knowing you. It actually is keeping me real of listening to my gut. I didn't just jump in . Thank you for making me remember my standards and how I will NEVER lower them again.
Your a piece of shit. I hope the next friend with benefit you meet never has to endure the heartache you caused me. I also hope you tell her from the beginning that you want to fulfill YOUR fantasy with one of her sisters or her best friend . Be truthful or better yet ask your wife to participate .

I wasn't your friend before we fuck*d We aren't going to be friends now.

I did get my vagina checked. I think maybe you should have your not so rather largely penis also checked before it falls off. Did I also tell you I faked half of my orgasms. And here's another tip invest in some Viagra.

Have a very nice rest of your life. Just remember loser you have 5 daughters and several grand babies I hope someone just like you fucks with their heads. Just like you do to women
Bub bye
Poor John

Norwich, NY

#21 Jan 17, 2013
Good grief!
haha

Utica, NY

#22 Jun 18, 2013
funny stuff!

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