Family is suppost to always be there!!

Posted in the Utica Forum

Heartbroken

Cortland, NY

#1 Nov 16, 2012
Last year my Daughter came up for a Visit from Georgia with my Grandson for 2 weeks. I noticed she used to smack his hands alot when he would do things she didnt like. Well 3 days before she was to leave he was sick and crying and he came to her several times just miserable as sick 1 1/2 year olds do. Well she smacked his hands cause he was trying to grab something from her, the remote I think and she went about her business watching Maury Povich, well I said something. I told her to turn of the Damn TV and take care of her kid. She lost it, got extremely mad at me and I told her your kid is sick, he is crying for his mother for some attention and all you are doing is watching the tv, maybe he needs some attention , diaper changed, food etc. I had done this for him all morning and was very annoyed she was completely oblivious to his obviously being sick. She gathered her belongings and left to go to her Grandfathers and Step GrandMothers house. We have not spoken since. 10 Months. I never once hit my daughter growing up or called her a single name. The first time I say one thing she loses it. Last night she calls me and starts yelling at me because my step mother and I had it out, she was trying to have me arrested for calling and yelling at her, well my daughter says if I go to jail i deserve every bit of it for calling her a bad mom. I feel hurt, betrayed, I do not understand. I would NEVER take sides against my actual Father with an outsider, her grandfathers wife. NEVER!!! That to me is a outright betrayal!! I said some horrible things to her after that. That I never wanted to speak to her again and alot worse. I feel bad for what i said and know she will never forgive me, but I guess it hurt so bad her taking sides like that, that I felt pushing her away was better then the pain I was in from my own daughter taking sides against me. When I confronted her 10 months ago I felt as a grandparent I was within my rights and was obligated to say something. However I do believe i said things in anger I shouldn't have. I am just so hurt and with the HORRIBLE things I said last night I know I will NEVER speak to my daughter or see my Grandson again!! I believe Family is Family and never take sides against them, unless maybe they are some kinda Child molester or something, to me Family is sacred and I just destroyed any chance at having them in my life. I am just hurting right now and needed to vent. Probably the wrong place to do it but I don't really care.
Wacko

Rye, NY

#2 Nov 16, 2012
Contact your daughter and tell her what you told us. Apologize and maybe you'll get an apology back. Atleast you can say you tried.
woah

Worcester, MA

#3 Nov 16, 2012
If I were you I wouldn't feel bad about it. I'm kind of in the same situation only the roles are reversed, I'm trying to plan my wedding and my mother has nothing to do with it. We have always had a rocky relationship and I suppose I shouldn't have expected any different but I thought seeing as I'm her first child to get married she would be excited and happy for me. Instead she yells at me everytime I talk to her for insane things like that my name isn't first on the invitations. It's really hard and it seems like everytime I try to write her off she decides to start talking to me again. Of course this has been going on for years so I don't ever expect anything to change. One of my biggest problems is that I remember all the times she called me stupid or fat..any of the abuse really, and it's hard for me to overlook it and try to forgive her for that. I wish I had had a different family life, but I believe it's made me a stronger person. Hopefully your daughter will realize that you were only trying to help and will come around
enuff sed

Utica, NY

#4 Nov 16, 2012
Families need to learn how to mind their own business and respect each others business.

Level 1

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#5 Nov 16, 2012
Grandparents have the right to express their opinion, after all it's their grandkid to. It's just all in the approach and should never be said in anger, doesn't always work out but thats the goal. Myself being a primate have a strong bond with my Family. It sounds like your daughter does not accept critism well. Most of the time teh get angry because their is truth to it. If it wasn't true why would she be so mad and not talk to you for 10 months. I belive in Family values and would never choose an outsider over someone in the fam.
enuff sed wrote:
Families need to learn how to mind their own business and respect each others business.

Level 1

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#6 Nov 16, 2012
Godfather values!!! Never ever takes sides with anyone against the Family EVER!!
learn

New York, NY

#7 Nov 16, 2012
Then there are some family members that while one member is under extreme stress, the other whines them to death. The whining is constant and continual and takes no action. The said person has a spouse that could do things but instead in capitalizing on one's health via the possibility of a stroke in hopes of the outcome to be death. A family member gets involved and then is damned for giving a damn.

So, the next time you have a family member that is a two timing weasel, a liar, don't bother to give a damn, hope and pray it dies from those phoney heart issues conjured up a scum bag doctor named Tretter at Slocum Dickson. It just might be possible you'll be the scapegoat in a marriage made of polocks,

Level 7

Since: Jan 08

Rome

#8 Nov 16, 2012
Perhaps I am reading too much between the lines, but you give evidence that on at least two occasions, you let your anger take control and you said thing to hurt your family members.

Seek some counseling and get your anger under control. And by all means, call and apologize to your daughter and your stepmother. Life is too short for vendettas.

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