NYS To Issue "Assault" Hammer Ban

NYS To Issue "Assault" Hammer Ban

Posted in the Utica Forum

T 4 TEXAS

Utica, NY

#1 Jan 21, 2014
NY Gov will go forward with previously tabled plans to sign Safe Act II into law this week following a tragic incident in Ilion where a violent suicidal maniac assaulted two police officers by launching Russian military issue, Spetznas assault hammers at them. The hammerman, acting alone, deployed a weapon more deadlier to Americans than "assault" rifles. "Hammers are not toys. You can't just go around throwing angry assault hammers at society and think it's no big deal. Well, it is a big deal and I'll personally see to it every NY'er is safe by signing this new law, blazing a new, enlightened path for the nation to follow again."

Annonymous sources revealed the state's brave, tough talking leader has had plans for such an assault weapons ban for years, but tabled them until "the right opportunity" presented itself. "NYS is no place for violent weapons or people who support them. You shouldn't live here if you support hammers and their use."

As of press time, reports of thousands of fevered, angry protests against then ban in support of hammers have been flowing in. One unconfirmed report even spoke of a 2 million man with hammers march on Albany in April is now being organized.
Razor Blade

Utica, NY

#2 Jan 22, 2014
Bahahahahahaha fckin hilarious! Love it and the point is made here. Love satire.
keepin up

Watertown, NY

#3 Jan 22, 2014
yes very funny. but i'm laughing AT you. texas called. lot #5 at bubba's trailer park is available. off you go now.
Joe mannix

Utica, NY

#4 Jan 22, 2014
The ban will only be on hammers above 16oz. People will still be allowed ball pein hammers without background checks
Wow

Utica, NY

#5 Jan 22, 2014
Joe mannix wrote:
The ban will only be on hammers above 16oz. People will still be allowed ball pein hammers without background checks
Give it time... Some nobama stressed guy in lee center will grab his snub nosed 5 oz. ball pein and savagely attack somebody and they'll take them all away from us.
Wow

Utica, NY

#6 Jan 22, 2014
Damn hammers! Why can't they keep their angry sides in check and not put themselves in the hands of these people!
Remington

Utica, NY

#7 Jan 22, 2014
If was purchased before 2003 considerd to be preban, seeing hammer used was issued in 2004. If issued after 2004 you have to register at your local hardware store for $10.
Nsa

Utica, NY

#8 Jan 22, 2014
If government think you may use hammer you will be sent to fema indefinitely. Even if you haven't or don't even own a hammer. Better hide from drone.

Level 7

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#9 Jan 22, 2014
Hey look, another gang of morons with tiny members. Urinating on themselves because they fear the loss of their replacement phallic symbols.
Joe

United States

#10 Jan 22, 2014
Bodhisatva wrote:
Hey look, another gang of morons with tiny members. Urinating on themselves because they fear the loss of their replacement phallic symbols.
You are a Dick squeezer.
Terry

United States

#11 Jan 22, 2014
You don't need 7 HAMMERS to kill a DEER.
Treyvon

Long Island City, NY

#12 Jan 23, 2014
Bodhisatva wrote:
Hey look, another gang of morons with tiny members. Urinating on themselves because they fear the loss of their replacement phallic symbols.
Hmm. The sissy brand of militant bigot, I see. Sad business.
contractor

Utica, NY

#14 Jan 23, 2014
Does that include automatic pneumatic nailers !?

Level 7

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#15 Jan 23, 2014
Joe wrote:
<quoted text>You are a Dick squeezer.
Don't you occasionally squeeze yours too?

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