why does ex wives like to manipulate ...

why does ex wives like to manipulate thier ex husbands

Posted in the Union City Forum

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1 pissed off redneck

Martin, TN

#1 Feb 11, 2012
I think its because she still has control and when it comes too money she is a blood suker for it cause shes to lazy to get a job or do anything with her worthless self.
the other

United States

#2 Feb 12, 2012
Don't know who this it's about but it's pitiful and especially when they try to use their children to bargain with. I think it's because they are for one not over their ex and two don't know how to move on and be independent on their own. I am a mother I do believe in child support and if set ordered by court it should be paid but not manipulation of and everyone these days needs to work at least part time. You are right defiantly form of controlling. But in long ruin only ones these types of, people hurt are themselves
wait

Union City, TN

#3 Feb 12, 2012
this goes both ways though more often than not it's the ex wife doing wrong to the ex husband. i think a lot o =f it has to do with lack of maturity. Especially with younger parents, a lot of younger moms think using the kids against the dad is a good idea. It's more destructive to the kids than anything and is sad.
witness

Union City, TN

#4 Feb 12, 2012
It is a from of control.A way for that person to stay in their ex's life. Its especially pathetic when they use children as pawns. They don't realize that the children are the ones that are being hurt inthe process. I have seen this to many times.
I know

United States

#5 Feb 12, 2012
Yeah can go both ways though. But most time is the woman. No I am not I man saying that. It like crazy ex are fine as long as everything going their way let the other person displease them in any way they use the ONLy leverage or connection they have. . . The kids. . . To try to hurt the other person or make them do what they want, it's wrong that's all you can really say. Often happens when one of the two start dating others or get in financial bind
tedious

United States

#6 Feb 12, 2012
And then it seems like it never stops. These are women you want to snatch up and shake the stupidity rightout of Even when the move on to another guy they still do everything every pitiful attempt to still make sure there ex can't be happy. sorry but if you ever truly loved someone you would never purposely put them through hellyou would want them to be happy even if not with you.
Gman

United States

#7 Jan 15, 2013
Hes right the only want control you life because of kids I had a problem with my wife too..
The SecretOfLife

Burnet, TX

#9 Jan 19, 2013
Learn your roles- thats the secret to life. In every aspect of life there is a pecking order; growing up under the care of your parents, in school,on the job,and when you are dealing with a other peoples children (step-children.) Too many times the step parent wants to play the "jealous ex" card. I wonder how many of them really know that the "ex" could indeed have their ex back if they wanted them; dont be foolish, and stop playing the victims. The children are the victims and should not have to compete with an attention starved step parent. Learn your roles, it really is that simple, Or don't, it really makes no difference except to the ones that have to live in your selfish "all about me world". To those of us in the real world we care less than you could ever imagine and spend a good portion of our time avoiding people of the sort. Get over it, get over yourself, and learn your roles.
Jason

United States

#10 Jan 21, 2013
I agree , know your rolls. Men's roll provide and protect. Too many men around here don't provide. Women's role is too nuture. So many around here don't want, don't look for a job, men make a living off women. It's disguisting.
The Ugly Truth

Union City, TN

#11 Jan 21, 2013
If Ex-Wives manipulate their Ex-Husbands, it's because the exes WANT to be manipulated! Granted, if there are children involved, there are issues that a step-parent AND a parent are going to have to deal with. I know that step-children can make lives miserable and step-parents can make lives unbearable. Trying to pit the parent between the step-parent and their child is a no-win situation.

Step-Parents -- Be a PARENT... forget the STEPS. In my family, there aren't any steps... people are treated according to how they treat me -- and that includes children -- small or adult.

Step-Children -- Stop trying to cause problems for your parents and their spouses. Trying to cause trouble will only make your parent think that they've failed with you... it will only hurt them. It will not make them leave their mate... and it will not make your parent happy.

How anyone can be mean to a child is beyond me, but I've seen the way some people treat their step-children badly or show such a difference between the children.

I've also known step-parents who loved and nurtured their step-children, and they are never given a 'thanks' for their efforts... they're always considered "the outsider."

I had a step-father AND a step-mother and I always treated them with respect... whether I thought they deserved it or not. That's not to say that you should put up with abuse of any kind from a step-parent or from your biological parents, for that matter.

Life is hard enough without added drama, and any adult child who sets out to cause problems for their parent should remember that it's not up to us to tell our parents who they can be with and who they cannot, any more than parents can tell their grown children who they can be with.
The Ugly Truth

Union City, TN

#12 Jan 21, 2013
Got into the step-children/step-parents mode there... now to continue with manipulating exes...

YES.. There are some ex-wives who have to keep up the drama and try to manipulate their ex-husbands. Maybe because it's the only control they can still have... If they lived with their husbands for several years, they know which buttons to push to get them to do what they want. And they use those buttons -- sometimes it's grown children... sometimes it's smaller children... sometimes it's their "need" of their ex-husband because they feel like they can't do something on their own.

People really shouldn't be enemies, but if an ex-wife is trying to cause problems for her former husband, there's certainly no reason why he should jump through hoops to please her. Men usually do what they want to do, but some men are very noble and feel sorry for their exes, and therefore sometimes help them.

As for the "new" woman in his life -- she knew he had this baggage (ex-wife) before she signed on as co-pilot in his life. She needs to discuss the manipulation issues with him -- without sounding like she's complaining all the time. Try to get him to see things from your point of view, but at the same time, try to see things from where HE'S standing.

That's the best advice I can give anyone who has exes in their lives... and most of us do.
some people

Dallas, TX

#13 Jan 21, 2013
Some ex wives wanna try to make the current wife seem "attention starved" or accuse them of taking away from their kids. The real jealousy here is the ex wife bring jealous of the ex husband's attention on his new wife. He still loves his kids but he is not gonna ignore his new wife so you might as well get over it. The kids cannot have ALL the attention. This just gives them a "the world revolves around me" complex. There is nothing wrong with the father of your kids giving his new wife love and attention. So get over it. There's plenty of love for both the kids and the new wife. Ex wives just need to but out!
yep

Asheboro, NC

#14 Jan 24, 2013
some people wrote:
Some ex wives wanna try to make the current wife seem "attention starved" or accuse them of taking away from their kids. The real jealousy here is the ex wife bring jealous of the ex husband's attention on his new wife. He still loves his kids but he is not gonna ignore his new wife so you might as well get over it. The kids cannot have ALL the attention. This just gives them a "the world revolves around me" complex. There is nothing wrong with the father of your kids giving his new wife love and attention. So get over it. There's plenty of love for both the kids and the new wife. Ex wives just need to but out!
That has happened to me before and I put a stop to it. My ex would wait until my wife posted something on Facebook about us going out for a date night or something and within 30 minutes she was calling me saying my son wanted to come spend the night with us and was crying for me. I asked to talk to him because I know how he sounds when he has been crying and she refused. When I told her my wife and I had plans she spouted off that I needed to cancel my plans because my son was more important. So that's when I told her I WOULD NOT CANCEL plans with my wife, that we made plans for date nights when we didn't have our kids. Then I really ticked her off and told her to stop stalking my wife's page because her jelousy was annoying. So from then on out she knew where my wife stood compared to her. Problem solved. Don't let your ex run over you!
good for u

Knoxville, TN

#15 Jan 31, 2013
yep wrote:
<quoted text>
That has happened to me before and I put a stop to it. My ex would wait until my wife posted something on Facebook about us going out for a date night or something and within 30 minutes she was calling me saying my son wanted to come spend the night with us and was crying for me. I asked to talk to him because I know how he sounds when he has been crying and she refused. When I told her my wife and I had plans she spouted off that I needed to cancel my plans because my son was more important. So that's when I told her I WOULD NOT CANCEL plans with my wife, that we made plans for date nights when we didn't have our kids. Then I really ticked her off and told her to stop stalking my wife's page because her jelousy was annoying. So from then on out she knew where my wife stood compared to her. Problem solved. Don't let your ex run over you!
That is exactly what you should have done! My husband has stuck up for me too. His ex was doing us the sane way. Stalking my page and if I mentioned we were out somewhere or say I checked in at a restaurant, she'd be calling or texting his phone...trying divert his attention from me. Then would leave voicemails saying the child was sick, wanted his daddy etc. Then 5 minutes later she would be posting pics of him playing on Facebook. So when her calls stopped getting answered she finally realized she was not getting the attention she wanted so it stopped but not before my husband told her off and told her his son was as important as he always had been to him but she was nothing more than his ex....period....and that she held no candle to me so stop even trying. Lmao, I stood by him with a look on my face while he was saying all this like NOW WHAT B!TCH! Only people who get manipulated by an ex are the ones who ALLOW IT! PUT A STOP TO THAT SH!T!
Joe Dirt

Medina, TN

#16 Jan 31, 2013
You get what you sign up for, don't you?. Either stop all the whining or think with your brain before you hook up with somebody who already has kids. There are plenty of fish in the ocean! You are allowed to be selective!
idiot

Riverside, IL

#17 Feb 1, 2013
Joe Dirt wrote:
You get what you sign up for, don't youer stop all the whining or think with your brain before you hook up with somebody who already has kids. There are plenty of fish in the ocean! You are allowed to be selective!
It's not about the kids dumbazz. It is about the stupid ex wife trying to manipulate using the kid.
The Ugly Truth

Union City, TN

#19 Feb 3, 2013
yep wrote:
<quoted text>
That has happened to me before and I put a stop to it. My ex would wait until my wife posted something on Facebook about us going out for a date night or something and within 30 minutes she was calling me saying my son wanted to come spend the night with us and was crying for me. I asked to talk to him because I know how he sounds when he has been crying and she refused. When I told her my wife and I had plans she spouted off that I needed to cancel my plans because my son was more important. So that's when I told her I WOULD NOT CANCEL plans with my wife, that we made plans for date nights when we didn't have our kids. Then I really ticked her off and told her to stop stalking my wife's page because her jelousy was annoying. So from then on out she knew where my wife stood compared to her. Problem solved. Don't let your ex run over you!
You got it right! The exes stalk and then try to manipulate. Your ex was stalking your current wife's FB page, but has she ever pulled up in front of your house and sat watching? It's creepy enough when somebody stalks online... it's even creepier when you see their car in front of your house. Then when you call them on it they lie and say it wasn't them. I'm not blind. I saw her following me home - she was right on my bumper. This happened a bunch of times and now I sometimes just KNOW she's in the vicinity... I can almost feel her circling my house on her broom!
The Ugly Truth

Union City, TN

#20 Feb 3, 2013
One more thing - I do NOT post on Facebook where we are going or when. Simply because I don't want everybody on the planet knowing every move I make. I may put on there where we've already BEEN and had a great time or whatever, but I don't give exes (or anyone else) the benefit of knowing where I'm gonna be or when.

Since: Feb 13

Pierceton, IN

#21 Feb 16, 2013
My ex wife tried to make my life miserable after the divorce so I made no attempts there after. I always paid my support though. I tried working things out but they held grudges. Their 27 now, I dont know them and they dont know me. They dropped out of school when they were 16, divorced and have kids and not getting child support. Their mother is on her 40th boyfriend. Me? College educated, married 25 yrs, 20 yrs Army retired and a degree. The ex said she could do better than me. Not so. Now my grand-kids are too old because they robbed me of them thinking they would hurt me. I will never let them in my life because too much time has been lost. I can hear my kids saying some day "Gee father, were so sorry now at age 40 and was just wondering if you could find it in your heart to forgive us? "Oh and by the way, heres your grand-kids ages 18 & 21, would you like to get to know them"? I would then say NO! and hang up the phone. Forgive and forget is a joke!
Ladyof LH

Manchester, UK

#22 Mar 26, 2013
My boyfriends ex wife still manipulates him even tho no kids are involved, we both have kids but they are all grown up. My boyfriend and I had an issue a couple of weeks ago and I said some nasty things and left our house. He thought I'd gone for good, but I had just gone to cool off. The 1st person who he rang and knew would come running was his ex wife. She has now wormed her way into my home and he's too scared of her to tell her to move out (cos she's beat him up quite a few times) and that he wants to be with me she's even got the landlord to put her name on the lease. So if I go home I'm not allowed in. He didn't ask her to come and LIVE with him he just needed a shoulder to cry on because he thought he'd lost me. I don't know what to do anymore, how do I get my man and my home back?

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