why men hit women?
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meand you

Martin, TN

#1 Feb 7, 2010
Can anyone explain this to me? If someone loves you, why do they push and grab on you?
Tommy-D

Union City, TN

#2 Feb 7, 2010
Guys that hit their women are obviously insecure and controlling.

In their mind,the woman DID something to deserve it,like staying gone to the store 10 minutes longer than they should have,looked at another guy,whatever.

Some of them do it when drunk or otherwise loaded.

Some men are so insecure that they want to make their women believe they can't survive without them,using verbal or emotional abuse to "brainwash" the woman into staying.

Some use the violence to intimidate them into staying with them. If the woman stays,in his mind that says "hey,she liked it" or "she'll put up with it cause she's scared to leave",and the cycle repeats.

Sometimes,the woman stays because she doesn't have anywhere else to go. Or,she stays because there are kids involved with no place to take them.

I personally wish there were more women that burn the house down around the guy the FIRST time it happens. Tommy D.
Indian Princess

Memphis, TN

#3 Feb 8, 2010
meand you wrote:
Can anyone explain this to me? If someone loves you, why do they push and grab on you?
If they do this, that is not love. It's control - Plain and simple.
meand you

Martin, TN

#4 Feb 8, 2010
this is just something i cannot understand, my friend is with a guy that pushes her around and she does not leave. She is a pretty girl and very likeable but she stays in this relationship. I can't understand what or why she stays. Thank you for your input I will explain this to her. I know she loves him but for him to do that shows everybody he does not love her.
Indian Princess

Memphis, TN

#5 Feb 8, 2010
Tommy-D wrote:
Guys that hit their women are obviously insecure and controlling.
In their mind,the woman DID something to deserve it,like staying gone to the store 10 minutes longer than they should have,looked at another guy,whatever.
Some of them do it when drunk or otherwise loaded.
Some men are so insecure that they want to make their women believe they can't survive without them,using verbal or emotional abuse to "brainwash" the woman into staying.
Some use the violence to intimidate them into staying with them. If the woman stays,in his mind that says "hey,she liked it" or "she'll put up with it cause she's scared to leave",and the cycle repeats.
Sometimes,the woman stays because she doesn't have anywhere else to go. Or,she stays because there are kids involved with no place to take them.
I personally wish there were more women that burn the house down around the guy the FIRST time it happens. Tommy D.
I think you know what you're talking about here! All that and MORE. Most men who hit their women are cowards. They won't spar with someone who might stomp their A$$. Any time a woman thinks the pushing and pulling and hitting and shoving is love... I think she's as 'sick' as he is!~ Former Victim
my thoughts

Martin, TN

#6 Feb 8, 2010
Indian Princess wrote:
<quoted text>
I think you know what you're talking about here! All that and MORE. Most men who hit their women are cowards. They won't spar with someone who might stomp their A$$. Any time a woman thinks the pushing and pulling and hitting and shoving is love... I think she's as 'sick' as he is!~ Former Victim
But if she loves him how is she going to get over it?
Indian Princess

Memphis, TN

#7 Feb 8, 2010
my thoughts wrote:
<quoted text>
But if she loves him how is she going to get over it?
She's got to get her self-worth back, if she had any at all to start with. The more distance she puts between him -- both physically and emotionally, the better off she will be.

Most women believe that the man they supposedly love will never 'really' harm them. Statistics prove otherwise. A question a woman should ask herself is this -- IF this were my daughter in a relationship like this, would you want her to stay in it?

That should put things into perspective. Women get dependent on men for whatever reason. It's a gradual thing and not something that happens overnight. We're mired in it before we realize it's even started. She has to get out of this relationship, if she wants to survive, or it could turn really, really ugly.
been there

White Plains, KY

#9 Feb 8, 2010
my thoughts wrote:
<quoted text>
But if she loves him how is she going to get over it?
GOOD QUESTION! i was in a relationship that was very controling..it never got violent..just emotional abuse. i am an intelligent attractive woman with a good job--we had no kids together--i could support myself without him--but still i stayed with him for over 2 years. its hard to explain why. i thought i loved him and thought he loved me. he made me believe i couldnt live without him and that no one else would ever have me. he had to know where i was 24/7 and if he didnt then i was obviously cheating (which never happened) He made me cry every day. and if i ever did get the nerve to end it he always knew what to do or say to get me to come back. but it always went back to the way it was. It took him going to jail to make me realize how stupid i had been for putting up with that. I am finally happy now.. please tell your friend that she should get out as soon as possible..that only time apart from him will heal her emotionally and that she is worth a whole lot more that what he has made her believe!! THAT IS NOT LOVE!! It is his form of control that he tells her is love. I found someone who treats me the way i always wanted to be treated. there are good men out there!
Annie

Miami, FL

#10 Feb 8, 2010
Just to be blunt and to the point.... They are cowards & spineless scub. They are control freaks. They have serious problems and need serious help. Last but not least they aren't men because real men don't hit women
snowman

United States

#11 Feb 8, 2010
i think the reason that men hit women is because thay toscared to hit someone who will hit back but some women will take it for now and get u when u are asleep i know of a woman who glued his goober to himself i like annie there not real men thay need help like a punch in the head
Guest

United States

#12 Feb 8, 2010
A glued goober? THATS AWESOME! Wish I would have thought of that.
realmen

Nebo, KY

#13 Feb 8, 2010
Real men do not hit women. A so-called man hit me ONCE. After I gave it right back to him, he left and never returned...good riddance.
why

Shelbyville, TN

#14 Feb 9, 2010
Because their chicken shits!! If i get hit they better kill me because if they go to sllep in my presence payback is hell
Just A Guy

Miami, FL

#15 Feb 9, 2010
Well said why. My mom always told me that if you treat a woman bad, you just remember young man, you have to go to sleep eventually. Any man that would push, shove, hit or emotionally abuse a woman is a whiney bitch of a coward. My wife and I are best friends and I would never consider treating her like that. Not out of fear of what she might do, but out of my love and repect for her.
Doctor Love

Memphis, TN

#16 Feb 9, 2010
been there wrote:
<quoted text> GOOD QUESTION! i was in a relationship that was very controling..it never got violent..just emotional abuse. i am an intelligent attractive woman with a good job--we had no kids together--i could support myself without him--but still i stayed with him for over 2 years. its hard to explain why. i thought i loved him and thought he loved me. he made me believe i couldnt live without him and that no one else would ever have me. he had to know where i was 24/7 and if he didnt then i was obviously cheating (which never happened) He made me cry every day. and if i ever did get the nerve to end it he always knew what to do or say to get me to come back. but it always went back to the way it was. It took him going to jail to make me realize how stupid i had been for putting up with that. I am finally happy now.. please tell your friend that she should get out as soon as possible..that only time apart from him will heal her emotionally and that she is worth a whole lot more that what he has made her believe!! THAT IS NOT LOVE!! It is his form of control that he tells her is love. I found someone who treats me the way i always wanted to be treated. there are good men out there!
For one thing, it's easier to stay with what you know than it is to start over. A lot of people see ending a relationship as failure. It isn't. It's a beginning. But it's hard to make that first move, isn't it?

People shouldn't see the past years as being a 'waste' if they move forward and away from that past. They should see it as a new beginning. And for some, it can't come soon enough.
neighbor

Martin, TN

#17 Mar 2, 2010
i agree... when men hit women they are cowards... and when women stay they are sick... not trying to make anyone mad, but i have been there... and i don't think you can really love someone who abuses you i think it's a bad addiction to that person... it's comfortable for them and they don't want to see the other person with anyone else... that's just my opinion
GUEST

United States

#18 Mar 2, 2010
I will say this one time: THERE IS NOT A MAN ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH WHO IS DUMB OR STUPID ENOUGH TO EVER TRY TO HIT ME OR KNOCK ME AROUND. I AM NOT AFRAID OF ANY MAN. MY DAD TRIED THAT WITH MY MOTHER AND I LET HIM KNOW REALLY FAST THAT I WOULD HURT HIM IF HE DID NOT LET HER GO. THAT IS ONE THING I WILL NOT TOLERATE FROM ANY MAN.
guest

Martin, TN

#19 Mar 2, 2010
meand you wrote:
this is just something i cannot understand, my friend is with a guy that pushes her around and she does not leave. She is a pretty girl and very likeable but she stays in this relationship. I can't understand what or why she stays. Thank you for your input I will explain this to her. I know she loves him but for him to do that shows everybody he does not love her.
I know a couple just like that.Just don't understand it.
The Ugly Truth

Memphis, TN

#20 Mar 2, 2010
meand you wrote:
Can anyone explain this to me? If someone loves you, why do they push and grab on you?
If someone loves you, they will not push you around or grab you. If they grab you to hug you, that's love. Otherwise, they have anger issues, not always directed at you,but you are the closest thing they can 'abuse.' People like this can be angry with themselves and take it out on those around them. Happens every day.
The Ugly Truth

Memphis, TN

#21 Mar 2, 2010
Tommy-D wrote:
Guys that hit their women are obviously insecure and controlling.
In their mind,the woman DID something to deserve it,like staying gone to the store 10 minutes longer than they should have,looked at another guy,whatever.
Some of them do it when drunk or otherwise loaded.
Some men are so insecure that they want to make their women believe they can't survive without them,using verbal or emotional abuse to "brainwash" the woman into staying.
Some use the violence to intimidate them into staying with them. If the woman stays,in his mind that says "hey,she liked it" or "she'll put up with it cause she's scared to leave",and the cycle repeats.
Sometimes,the woman stays because she doesn't have anywhere else to go. Or,she stays because there are kids involved with no place to take them.
I personally wish there were more women that burn the house down around the guy the FIRST time it happens. Tommy D.
Everything you say here is true, and then some. Did you know that women spend twice as much time in jail for defending themselves than men do for harming women? That's what I've heard, anyway.

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