Patriots finish seson at 16-0

Patriots finish seson at 16-0

There are 59 comments on the Connecticut Post story from Dec 29, 2007, titled Patriots finish seson at 16-0. In it, Connecticut Post reports that:

New England Patriots wide receiver Randy Moss leaps into Russ Hochstein's arms after scoring on a pass from quarterback Tom Brady in the second quarter of an NFL football game against the New York Giants at ...

Join the discussion below, or Read more at Connecticut Post.

Flatulence Fred

Houston, TX

#27 Aug 27, 2014
Intestinal Gas and Diving (Flatus)

Diving with intestinal fart gas can be an experience that most of us would rather not even think of--much less have to deal with.The fart gas has to conform to Boyle's law and can cause extreme discomfort in ascending from depth--particularly if it has become trapped or increased in amount from whatever source.

Fart gas is the production of digestion, and most of us pass (fart, poot, bubble) somewhere between 200 and 2,000 ml of gas per day (average, about 600 ml) in roughly 13-14 passages. There was a paper in 1976 reporting a patient who passed gas 34 times in one twenty-four hour period. These emissions are composed of five gases: nitrogen (N2), oxygen (O2), carbon dioxide (CO2), hydrogen (H2), and methane (CH4). Nitrogen usually predominates, followed by variable concentrations of carbon dioxide, hydrogen, and methane, and very low levels of oxygen.

Wet farts also gets into our guts by air swallowing (which accounts for very little in the lower portions), production within the bowel and colon (which accounts for a lot), and diffusion from the blood. Most air that is swallowed comes out the way it went in: it is belched or "eructed," and in divers this can distend the stomach to the bursting point. Most of the nitrogen is accounted for by diffusion from blood to bowel; it may give flatus some of its bang but little of its bite. I'm not aware that this N2 has any relationship decompression sickness.

The function of the digestive process is to break the presented food into small essential nutrients, which then pass through the bowel wall (absorption) into the blood stream for transportation (distribution) to the various locations where they are used for either the work (metabolism) or construction/repair (anabolism) of the body. Nutrients not needed immediately are stored as fat or glycogen for future use.

Bacteria in the bowel account for 50- 60 % of the gas in flatus --most from the breakdown of carbohydrates, with the production of CO2, hydrogen and methane, often a function of fermentation.

Gas, or fart, is basically produced by foods that have undigestible or excess carbohydrates, which are not absorbed when they get to the colon. Beans, for example, have complex carbohydrates that are maldigested. And the same holds true for mushrooms, cabbages and onions. Many people don't realize that mushrooms contain a unique sugar called raffinose, which humans can't break down. As a group, vegetarians produce more gas than meat-eaters because the intestinal enzymes can't digest the cellulose in vegetables' cell walls. However, this is where the colon's bacteria come in: the outcome being a marked increase in gas production. "Beano"is the answer to this problem for those of us that have these "carbohydrate eating" bacteria. A few Beano drops will close down this flatus-factory and tablets exist for the more self-conscious restaurant diner.

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#28 Aug 27, 2014
this is very interesting. Tippy likes to dive but does not fart.
Flatulence Fred

Houston, TX

#29 Aug 27, 2014
To boldly blow! Astronauts flatulence could create flammable gas in spacecraft
An astronaut has many things to worry about - the safety of the mission, the claustrophobic surroundings and the loneliness of the venture.
But now, they have one more thing to worry about - flatulence.
As humans produce two flammable gases - hydrogen and methane - which ignite when accumulated in an enclosed space, astronauts are potentially at risk as they are cooped up in their spacecraft.
They studied what the effects could be of a potential build up in expelled hydrogen and methane gases.
The paper, published in 1969, found that:'Flatus gases varied widely within dietary groups but much more gas was generated with diet S than with F.
'In the first 12-hour collection, subjects fed S passed 3 to 209 ml of rectal H2 and 24 to 156 ml from the lungs.
'With F, these values were 0 to 3 ml and 6 to 36 ml.
'Subjects were calmer during the second test. Gas production was lower with S than initially; F values were unchanged.
'Volumes would be larger at reduced spacecraft and suit pressures.'
They found that a new, bland diet produced a lot less gas than the one that was fed to the Gemini astronauts, io9 reported.
Their paper formed part of a loose trilogy of flatulence-related papers which began with 1968's 'The Use of Expired Air to Measure Intestinal Gas Formation' and concluded with 1971's 'Reduction of Intestinal Gas-Forming Properties of Legumes by Traditional and Experimental Food Processing Methods.'
Flatulence is a mixture of gases such as nitrogen, carbon dioxide, methane, hydrogen, oxygen, and hydrogen sulphide.
These gases are produced by bacteria in the large intestine which break down food into amino acids, glucose and fatty acids. Gas is a by-product of their work.
Irrespective of the diet, loosing some 12 to 40 'winds'(that is, 0.5 to 2.0 litres of gas) per day is normal.
The cellulose in vegetables cannot be digested, therefore vegetarians produce more gas than people with a mixed diet.
Men and women emit the same amounts of gas as there is no difference in the chemistry of male and female digestion.

Since: Jun 14

Stratford, CT

#30 Aug 27, 2014
#28 is a Faker but is a real A-Hole.
Flatulence Fred

Houston, TX

#31 Aug 27, 2014
Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a common disorder that affects the large intestine (colon). Irritable bowel syndrome commonly causes cramping, abdominal pain, bloating, gas, diarrhea and constipation. IBS is a chronic condition that you will need to manage long term.

Even though signs and symptoms are uncomfortable, IBS — unlike ulcerative colitis and Crohn's disease, which are forms of inflammatory bowel disease — doesn't cause changes in bowel tissue or increase your risk of colorectal cancer.

Only a small number of people with irritable bowel syndrome have severe signs and symptoms. Some people can control their symptoms by managing diet, lifestyle and stress. Others will need medication and counseling.
BPT

Wallingford, CT

#32 Aug 27, 2014
finally someone sees the boston pro teams the same way i have felt for years. they are all s%itheads.
go yankees!
Flatulence Fred

Houston, TX

#33 Aug 27, 2014
Marines To Ban Audible Farts In Afghanistan

The U.S. Marine Corps is so afraid of offending Muslims’ delicate sensibilities that our brave Marines serving in Afghanistan are banned from passing gas, otherwise called farting.

"Farting offends them."

“'never'”

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#34 Aug 27, 2014
Really? That then tempts me to eat a lot of bacon mixed with beans.

Flatulence Fred, you are proof that the internet is an interesting place. Thank You.
You remind me of the guy who kept posting about cheese a couple of years ago. One new angle on flatulence, if you haven’t already thought of it, is farting in bed with your significant other. During the great blizzard of 2013 (Nemo) I was stranded in Bridgeport at a friends house, with two lovely ladies. There was one queen sized bed for the three of us. We all climbed in, and being an extremely immature person, I let a few rip. These poor ladies were trapped- and so, my rather significant flatulence was met with silence. There we were, in a very quiet room, and BLAST! and for once, no fembot verbal attacks were forthcoming. It truly was a great day for mens rights!
Flatulence Fred

Houston, TX

#35 Aug 27, 2014
Normal flatus volume and intestinal gas dynamics

Normal flatus volume range is around 476 to 1491ml per 24 hours. This variability between individuals is greatly dependent upon diet. Similarly the number of flatus episodes per day is variable, the normal range is given as 8–20 per day. The volume of flatus associated with each flatulence event again varies (5–375ml). The volume of the first flatulence upon waking in the morning is significantly larger than those during the day.

This may be due to buildup of intestinal gas in the colon during sleep, the peak in peristaltic activity in the first few hours after waking and/or the strong prokinetic effect of rectal distension on the rate of transit of intestinal gas. It is now known that gas is moved along the gut independently of solids and liquids, and this transit is more efficient in the erect position compared to when supine. It is thought that large volumes of intestinal gas present low resistance, and can be propelled by subtle changes in gut tone, capacitance and proximal contraction and distal relaxation. This process is thought not to affect solid and liquid intra-lumenal contents.

Researchers investigating the role of sensory nerve endings in the anal canal did not find them to be essential for retaining fluids in the anus, and instead speculate that their role may be to distinguish between flatus and faeces, thereby helping detect a need to defecate or to signal the end of defecation.

The sound varies depending on the tightness of the sphincter muscle and velocity of the gas being propelled, as well as other factors, such as water and body fat. The auditory pitch (sound) of the flatulence outburst can also be affected by the anal embouchure. Among humans, flatulence occasionally happens accidentally, such as incidentally to coughing or sneezing or during orgasm; on other occasions, flatulence can be voluntarily elicited by tensing the rectum or "bearing down" on stomach or bowel muscles and subsequently relaxing the anal sphincter, resulting in the expulsion of flatus.
BPT

Bridgeport, CT

#36 Aug 27, 2014
Citizen44 wrote:
Really? That then tempts me to eat a lot of bacon mixed with beans.
Flatulence Fred, you are proof that the internet is an interesting place. Thank You.
You remind me of the guy who kept posting about cheese a couple of years ago. One new angle on flatulence, if you haven’t already thought of it, is farting in bed with your significant other. During the great blizzard of 2013 (Nemo) I was stranded in Bridgeport at a friends house, with two lovely ladies. There was one queen sized bed for the three of us. We all climbed in, and being an extremely immature person, I let a few rip. These poor ladies were trapped- and so, my rather significant flatulence was met with silence. There we were, in a very quiet room, and BLAST! and for once, no fembot verbal attacks were forthcoming. It truly was a great day for mens rights!
you are quite the ladies man with that story pal..........those ladies must of found you so enchanting..........

Since: Jun 14

Stratford, CT

#37 Aug 27, 2014
Get with it, people. This forum is about Patriots.
Kevin

Cypress, TX

#38 Aug 27, 2014
Flatulence Fred wrote:
Normal flatus volume and intestinal gas dynamics
Normal flatus volume range is around 476 to 1491ml per 24 hours. This variability between individuals is greatly dependent upon diet. Similarly the number of flatus episodes per day is variable, the normal range is given as 8–20 per day. The volume of flatus associated with each flatulence event again varies (5–375ml). The volume of the first flatulence upon waking in the morning is significantly larger than those during the day.
This may be due to buildup of intestinal gas in the colon during sleep, the peak in peristaltic activity in the first few hours after waking and/or the strong prokinetic effect of rectal distension on the rate of transit of intestinal gas. It is now known that gas is moved along the gut independently of solids and liquids, and this transit is more efficient in the erect position compared to when supine. It is thought that large volumes of intestinal gas present low resistance, and can be propelled by subtle changes in gut tone, capacitance and proximal contraction and distal relaxation. This process is thought not to affect solid and liquid intra-lumenal contents.
Researchers investigating the role of sensory nerve endings in the anal canal did not find them to be essential for retaining fluids in the anus, and instead speculate that their role may be to distinguish between flatus and faeces, thereby helping detect a need to defecate or to signal the end of defecation.
The sound varies depending on the tightness of the sphincter muscle and velocity of the gas being propelled, as well as other factors, such as water and body fat. The auditory pitch (sound) of the flatulence outburst can also be affected by the anal embouchure. Among humans, flatulence occasionally happens accidentally, such as incidentally to coughing or sneezing or during orgasm; on other occasions, flatulence can be voluntarily elicited by tensing the rectum or "bearing down" on stomach or bowel muscles and subsequently relaxing the anal sphincter, resulting in the expulsion of flatus.
Flatus fantastic. Looking forward to more like this.
Flatulence Fred

Houston, TX

#39 Aug 28, 2014
Kevin wrote:
<quoted text>
Flatus fantastic. Looking forward to more like this.
What You Don’t Know about Your Farts

What it really means when you cut the cheese

Too much tooting could be an allergy alarm.

There may be a reason it's called “cutting the cheese”: People who are lactose intolerant—even mildly—fart when they eat dairy. Flatulence is partially caused by your body's inability to digest certain nutrients, and some people can't adequately digest lactose, explains Dr. Bechtold. Even if you can eat dairy without feeling sick, if you're gassier after eating yogurt, milk, or cheese, you may have a sensitivity to it. More serious warning signs: If your gas comes with diarrhea, unintentional weight loss, abdominal pain, blood, or vomiting, talk to you doctor. These could be indicators for diseases like inflammatory bowel disease, Celiac disease, or small bowel bacterial overgrowth.

You shouldn't hold it back.

If you're sitting in an all-day meeting, don't resist letting one loose: Gas is air trapped in your body, so it has to come out sooner or later, says Dr. Bechtold. And while the odor itself isn't like milk spoiling—growing stronger with time—holding back one fart now may lead to you letting three rip at once.(And that includes not only the power of three, but also the smell.) To top it all off, trying to hold gas in can cause significant bloating and discomfort in your stomach, says Dr. Bechtold. So do yourself a favor, and let it slide when you first feel it. It may be uncomfortable for a minute, but it'll be a lot more awkward when the whole meeting comes to a pause from smelling your 3-hour buildup.

“'never'”

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#40 Aug 28, 2014
BPT wrote:
<quoted text>you are quite the ladies man with that story pal..........those ladies must of found you so enchanting..........
I doubt they did. But, this was the choice: put up with it or hike a mile north up park ave through 4' of snow and wind at 3:00 AM.
I get along with them just fine- they know me well. I'm flawed, and so are they.
Robert

Cypress, TX

#41 Aug 28, 2014
Flatulence Fred wrote:
<quoted text>
What You Don’t Know about Your Farts
What it really means when you cut the cheese
Too much tooting could be an allergy alarm.
There may be a reason it's called “cutting the cheese”: People who are lactose intolerant—even mildly—fart when they eat dairy. Flatulence is partially caused by your body's inability to digest certain nutrients, and some people can't adequately digest lactose, explains Dr. Bechtold. Even if you can eat dairy without feeling sick, if you're gassier after eating yogurt, milk, or cheese, you may have a sensitivity to it. More serious warning signs: If your gas comes with diarrhea, unintentional weight loss, abdominal pain, blood, or vomiting, talk to you doctor. These could be indicators for diseases like inflammatory bowel disease, Celiac disease, or small bowel bacterial overgrowth.
You shouldn't hold it back.
If you're sitting in an all-day meeting, don't resist letting one loose: Gas is air trapped in your body, so it has to come out sooner or later, says Dr. Bechtold. And while the odor itself isn't like milk spoiling—growing stronger with time—holding back one fart now may lead to you letting three rip at once.(And that includes not only the power of three, but also the smell.) To top it all off, trying to hold gas in can cause significant bloating and discomfort in your stomach, says Dr. Bechtold. So do yourself a favor, and let it slide when you first feel it. It may be uncomfortable for a minute, but it'll be a lot more awkward when the whole meeting comes to a pause from smelling your 3-hour buildup.
More fart stories please

Thanks
Soon 2B Fartin Fred

Houston, TX

#42 Aug 29, 2014
Robert wrote:
<quoted text>
More fart stories please
Thanks
Cast Diarrhea
I broke both my legs in a horrible car accident 3 years ago (when I was 16). I had to wear a cast for my waist to my toes and A diaper as I could not use the bathroom. Anyway I have never told this story before so This is so embarrassing. O.K, On the 3rd week after the accident I was in Great Ormonds street hospital . Both of my casted legs were slung up in slings. I suddenly had the urge to fart and I thought I would be tiny but I had explosive diarrhea for like 20 minute. I tried to grapple my butt but It didn't work I feel sorry for the nurse that had to change my diaper. I also farted in her face.

Diarrhea lava
I was in math and I really needed to fart. I ran to the bathroom with my cheeks squished together. I got to the bathroom and I was gripping the edges of my pants ready to pull them down when suddenly farty diarrhea exploded in my pants I sat on the toilet and It was like hot lava coming out of me It was all over my pants IT JUST KEPT COMING!!! After 30 mins I felt better and pulled up my pants only to have a another explosive bout! After an hour my friend found me and gave me her skirt Thanks Abby!

Fart / Diarrhea in elevator
I was one of my teacher's favorite student in kindergarten. One day, I had the urge to fart real bad, but I didn't asked my teacher if I could go outside because it was silent reading class. The urge was getting stronger and stronger, and it was only first period. 20 minutes untill bell rings. 2 minutes passed. Finally, the bell rang, and the teacher called me to go to our next class to give a stack of worksheets and the fart was peaking, ready to explode out. I just had to go to the bathroom, and when I came back, the bathroom was so crowded that I would never get my turn. So that's how come I waited until the end of the day to release the gigantic fart. Every break time, and recess, and lunch time, I failed to get my turn because some class ends earlier than ours. So, when class ended, I ran to the elevator, but my house was in the 18th floor. Also, my freind lived in the 11th floor. Unfortunately, I met my friend. When it was in the 6th floor, I couldn't hold it any longer, so I let the fart go but also had diarrhea all over my pants. My friend saw it. So embarrassing!

“'never'”

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#43 Aug 29, 2014
If anyone ever needs proof that the internet is an odd place.... well... 'nuff said.
Soon 2B Fartin Fred

Houston, TX

#44 Aug 29, 2014
The Fart Name List (Part 1)


The Alarm Fart - This is a good fart for the beginner. It is easy to identify. It starts with a loud unnaturally high note, wavers like a siren, and ends with a quick downward note that stops before you expect it to. It sounds like something is wrong. If it happens to you, you will know right off why it is called the Alarm Fart. You will be alarmed. The alarm fart however is rare.

The Amplified Fart - This is any fart that gets its power more from being amplified than from the fart itself. A metal porch swing will amplify a fart every time. So will a plywood table,and empty fifty gallon drum, a tin roof, or some empty cardboard boxes if they are strong through being amplified in this way can be called an Amplified Fart. These are common farts under the right conditions. For example, if you're sitting on an empty 55-gallon steel drum.

The Anticipated Fart - This one warns that it is back there waiting for some time before it arrives. A person who is uneasy for a time in a crowd and who later farts at a time when they think no one will notice has farted an Anticipated Fart.

The Back Seat Fart - This is a fart that occurs only in automobiles. It is identified chiefly by odor. The Back Seat Fart can usually be concealed by traffic noise as it is an eased-out fart and not very loud. But its foul odor will give it away, due to the way air moves around in a car. It is often followed by someone saying, "Who farted in the back seat?"

The Barn Owl Fart - A familiarity with owl calls is helpful in identifying this fart. Almost any morning if you get up just before daybreak you can hear one of these birds talking to himself. It's a sort of a crazy laugh, particularly the way it ends. If you hear a fart that has about eight notes in it, ending on a couple of down notes, and it sounds maniacal, you have heard the rare Barn Owl Fart.

The Bathtub Fart - People who would never in their life know one fart from another, who would like to act like fart don't exist, will have to admit that a Bathtub Fart is something special. It is the only fart you can see! What you see is the bubbles. The Bathtub Fart can be either single or multiple noted and fair or foul as to odor. It makes no difference. The farter's location is what does it. Maybe there is a kind of muffled pong and one big bubble. Or there may be a ping ping ping and a bunch of bubbles. The sound I should point out depends somewhat on the depth of the water, and even more on the tub. If it is one of those big old heavy tubs with the funny legs you can get terrific sound effects. While one of the new thin ones half buried in the floor can be disappointing.

The Biggest Fart in the World Fart - Like the great bald eagle, this fart is pretty well described just by its name. This can either be a group one or a group two fart and can occur just about anywhere. I heard it one time, a group two identification, in a crowded high school auditorium one night, right in that silence that happens when a room full of people has stopped singing the Star Spangled Banner and sat down. It came from the back. There was not a soul in that room that missed it. A fart like that can be impressive. The most diagnostic characteristic of the Biggest Fart In The World is it size.Fart freaks who go around showing off, farting like popcorn machines, and making faces before they fart or asking you to pull their finger and then they fart, never have what it takes for this one, which is rare even among your most serious farter's.

The Bitburr: Sounds like just that--you're walking and the initial explosion "BIT!--" during one step is followed by a more gentle release of the rest of the volume during the next step: "brrrrrr..."

“'never'”

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#45 Sep 3, 2014
So.... this is what the far end of the internet is like. I think I need to take a shower.
Flatulence Fred

Houston, TX

#46 Sep 3, 2014
There is a scientific reason why your farts smell worse in the shower.

Normally I preempt the article with some information to create clarity or make things more relevant, but not this time. Because you all know you’ve done it. There are a few reasons. The one you might have guessed is that a shower is small, so the gas is more concentrated, thus more smelly.

The high turbidity of the air in the shower also circulates the gas faster and more efficiently. Also, high humidity and high temperature conditions enhance the senses of smell and taste in humans. That means the farts don’t smell worse, we can just smell them better than usual.

More interesting fart facts:

The average person passes half a liter of gas a day.
Most of the fart gas is just air you’ve swallowed.
Beans are notorious for farts because they contain sugar that creates gas in the intestines.

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