who would like to read my poetry and ...

who would like to read my poetry and rate it???

Posted in the Terre Haute Forum

TONY B

Terre Haute, IN

#1 Oct 19, 2010
SAMPLE..........So gifted..so strong..so admired..so alone..so much love..so much hope..losing the ones you love..hanging on by a thread..so many reasons to live even when your heart feels dead..tears turning to rain..body so numb..calling out their name..reaching out ur hand..only no one ever comes..they say to lean on faith..but unless it's your experience..ur F word appears to be false..how many LIES..have we been taught..TB
FEEDBACK WELCOMED

WHO WOULD LIKE TO READ MY POETRY AND RATE IT??? CONSIDERING PUBLISHING MY WORK BUT NEED HONEST OPINIONS FIRST..THANK YOU IN ADVANCE

“Topix Gunslinger”

Since: Oct 09

Punxsutawney, PA

#2 Oct 19, 2010
Its ok, but it seems to me that you wrote something and then went back and changed a part of it, which would explain why it seems...scattered or fragmented. If I'm right, whatever it was you changed, change back. If I'm wrong then change the end (but unless it's your experience..ur F word appears to be false..) and just so you don't assume i don't know what I'm talking about many years ago this was the first REAL poetry spot on the web. http://www.spydersempire.com/poetry2.htm I was there from start to finish. and you can still see some of my stuff within a couple of clicks from that page. The website died 5 years ago (along with its owner i suspect) and I have no idea why its still online. lol

Since: Oct 10

Terre Haute, IN

#3 Oct 19, 2010
thank you for your response. I write alot of my poems on FACEBOOK(dont laugh..lol)...so i have to change some of the wording to fit the amount of characters they allow..BUMMER...this is just a sample but i feel i have some pretty good ones to offer..so more to come....its amazing that when i listen to piano music..the words seem to pour out of me...WHAT WERE YOUR INSPIRATIONS???? I will check out the website and view your work...take care
sh-- house poet

Punxsutawney, PA

#4 Oct 21, 2010
No matter how much,
you shake and dance,
those last few drops,
go down your pants.

No matter how much,
you dance and wiggle,
you just can't stop,
that last little dribble.

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