Grants help victims of domestic violence

Full story: Asheville Citizen-Times

The U.S. Department of Justice recently awarded more than $1.27 million in grants to two area organizations working to protect victims of domestic violence.

Comments

Showing posts 1 - 18 of18

“www.coppertoken. com”

Since: Sep 07

State of Confusion

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#1
Sep 16, 2007
 

Judged:

1

One of the forms of control over the victims of abuse is to make the victim feel as if they can not make it on their own. All about control..emotionally, financially and physically.

Money well spent!!! May the all find peace.
etsidoyehi

United States

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#2
Sep 17, 2007
 

Judged:

1

NOT EVERY ABUSER IS AN ALCOHOLIC OR DRUG USER. MY EX USED NEITHER. HE WAS AN EMOTIONAL ABUSER. I WISHED AT TIMES HE WOULD OF BEATEN ME. THEN I WOULD OF AT LEAST OF HAD A CHANCE OF FIGHTING BACK. I WENT THRU 13 YEARS OF ABUSE BEFORE I HAD THE COURAGE TO LEAVE HIM AND THEN IT WAS WITH HIM POINTING A SAWED OFF SHOTGUN AT ME.I RECALL ONE TIME DURING THOSE 13 YEARS WHEN HE GOT SO ANGRY THAT HE THREATENED TO KILL ME HE GRABBED HIS GUN WENT OUTSIDE AND DARED ME TO TRY AND ESCAPE WITH OUR SON.THIS MAN WAS MENTALLY UNBALANCED AND STILL MAY BE. I KNOW THE REST OF HIS FAMILY IS. BUT CONTINUING ON,I WAS SO TERRIFIED OF HIS KILLING ME DURING THE NIGHT THAT I GRABBED MY DRIVERS LICENSE AND MY SONS BIRTH CERTIFICATE AND PLACED THEM IN A SMALL ZIPLOCK BAG. AND PUT THEM UP MY VAGINA. I KNOW THAT SOUNDS GROSS BUT YOU ALWAYS HEAR OF WOMEN BEING FOUND DEAD AND NOT IDENTIFIED WELL I FIGURED THAT DURING AN AUTOPSY THEY WOULD FIND THIS AND KNOW WHO I WAS AND KNOW I AT LEAST HAD A SON SOMEWHERES.THATS HOW SCARED I WAS OF THIS MAN.BUT THERES ONE THING I HONESTLY CAN SAY I DID NOT DO. I NEVER TALKED BAD OF HIM TO HIS SON. AFTER ALL HE WAS HIS SONS FATHER. AND I DID LET HIM SEE HIS FATHER REGULARLY.HIS FATHER LOVED HIS SON DEARLY AND NEVER ABUSED HIM AT ALL. I FIGURED MY SON WOULD FIND OUT HIS FATHER ON HIS OWN SOON ENOUGH AS HE GOT OLDER AND HE DID.
JED

Columbus, OH

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#3
Sep 24, 2007
 
I stayed in an abuser for 14 years before I had the courage to move forward. After what I've recently been through in our court system, I know now why woman choose to stay in a abusive marraige. My attorney charged me over 2,000 in one month for emails and then dropped my case when I couldn't replenish my account. They charge 175.00 to read an email. Not all the emails required a response. My husband caused me to lose my job and now my attorney. The verbal abuse continues on a daily basis even though we don't live together. A restraining order was issued, but has served no purpose. If I had it to do over, I would have stayed in the marriage. It was easier to get abused and live under his control, than it is to do through the legal mess and still deal with the verbal abuse that doesn't end.

“RadicalDudette”

Since: Feb 07

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#4
Sep 24, 2007
 

Judged:

1

"People say why donít they (victims of domestic violence) just leave, but usually they donít have the means to get away and set up their own household,Ē said Jim Barrett, executive director of Pisgah Legal Services."

The smartest comment regarding domestic violence.
Thank you.

“RadicalDudette”

Since: Feb 07

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#5
Sep 24, 2007
 
JED wrote:
I stayed in an abuser for 14 years before I had the courage to move forward. After what I've recently been through in our court system, I know now why woman choose to stay in a abusive marraige. My attorney charged me over 2,000 in one month for emails and then dropped my case when I couldn't replenish my account. They charge 175.00 to read an email. Not all the emails required a response. My husband caused me to lose my job and now my attorney. The verbal abuse continues on a daily basis even though we don't live together. A restraining order was issued, but has served no purpose. If I had it to do over, I would have stayed in the marriage. It was easier to get abused and live under his control, than it is to do through the legal mess and still deal with the verbal abuse that doesn't end.
I would write to the bar association for the state
you had the attorney. That is justication for him
to lose his license. And I am mean enough, I would take charges against him for SH*TTY representation.

“RadicalDudette”

Since: Feb 07

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#6
Sep 24, 2007
 
etsidoyehi wrote:
NOT EVERY ABUSER IS AN ALCOHOLIC OR DRUG USER. MY EX USED NEITHER. HE WAS AN EMOTIONAL ABUSER. I WISHED AT TIMES HE WOULD OF BEATEN ME. THEN I WOULD OF AT LEAST OF HAD A CHANCE OF FIGHTING BACK. I WENT THRU 13 YEARS OF ABUSE BEFORE I HAD THE COURAGE TO LEAVE HIM AND THEN IT WAS WITH HIM POINTING A SAWED OFF SHOTGUN AT ME.I RECALL ONE TIME DURING THOSE 13 YEARS WHEN HE GOT SO ANGRY THAT HE THREATENED TO KILL ME HE GRABBED HIS GUN WENT OUTSIDE AND DARED ME TO TRY AND ESCAPE WITH OUR SON.THIS MAN WAS MENTALLY UNBALANCED AND STILL MAY BE. I KNOW THE REST OF HIS FAMILY IS. BUT CONTINUING ON,I WAS SO TERRIFIED OF HIS KILLING ME DURING THE NIGHT THAT I GRABBED MY DRIVERS LICENSE AND MY SONS BIRTH CERTIFICATE AND PLACED THEM IN A SMALL ZIPLOCK BAG. AND PUT THEM UP MY VAGINA. I KNOW THAT SOUNDS GROSS BUT YOU ALWAYS HEAR OF WOMEN BEING FOUND DEAD AND NOT IDENTIFIED WELL I FIGURED THAT DURING AN AUTOPSY THEY WOULD FIND THIS AND KNOW WHO I WAS AND KNOW I AT LEAST HAD A SON SOMEWHERES.THATS HOW SCARED I WAS OF THIS MAN.BUT THERES ONE THING I HONESTLY CAN SAY I DID NOT DO. I NEVER TALKED BAD OF HIM TO HIS SON. AFTER ALL HE WAS HIS SONS FATHER. AND I DID LET HIM SEE HIS FATHER REGULARLY.HIS FATHER LOVED HIS SON DEARLY AND NEVER ABUSED HIM AT ALL. I FIGURED MY SON WOULD FIND OUT HIS FATHER ON HIS OWN SOON ENOUGH AS HE GOT OLDER AND HE DID.
etsi-

I had attorneys and LEOs asked me if my ex was into drugs or drinking.(They wanted to know for
mine and their safety). I stated no, he could do
squat if he was drunk or on drugs.

But I did let them know he had a passion for guns
for collecting and threatening me.

The stupid fool only taught me what I needed to know to blow his *ss away if I had to.

But he needs to live with the fact that he IS a
control freak, will never change, and will never
have cvhildren of his genes.
Alicia

Augusta, GA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#8
Oct 8, 2009
 
I am finding what you are saying about the system to be so true. I was in a marriage with my 17 year old daughter, and the abuse, both physical and emotional started after three years. I left on June 26, 2009, after being put out of a car, like trash on the street, and having to walk 3 miles to the nearest park in 100 degree weather. Isolation, and everything you can imagine, I went through it. I was never in the system, and now that I need the help, the system has failed me. I am now in the process of trying to find transportation, so that I can get around to put in applications for jobs, and go to interviews, so that I can become independent again. I left with just the clothes on my back. This is the most difficult thing that I have ever had to do, but I want to encourage those who may feel that it is better to stay. It is NEVER better to stay. You deserve so much more in life than that. The problem is finding the help. Everyone wants you to pay money, and doesn't understand that often times you leave with nothing, and so you don't have the funds. I am finding that domestic violence is something that people just don't understand unless you have been through it. Take care my sisters and brothers of domestic violence and keep your chin up. Something good is bound to happen if you just Stay Prayerful, Stay Positive, and Stay Productive.
Callie

United States

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#9
Mar 21, 2010
 
I know these posts are from a while back but I just had to comment.
I, too, went through the system and the system not only failed me in a very real way, but also my children. I was scared to death to leave my husband, and if I knew about how the legal system not only fails to protect victims of DV but punishes them by stripping them of everything they own, I probably would have never gone through with it. During my divorce my then- husband was arrested for attempted murder and still the courts let my case rage on. I was even refused a restraining order later on when he made verbal death threats against me, despite having already been arrested for DV and attempted murder (it was reduced to aggravated assault) and despite him turning violent on the arresting officers which resulted in the SWAT team showing up. How much more proof do you need that someone has violent tendencies??!!
If my life with my husband was hell it is also hell now. The same court that ordered him to pay child support never made him pay. They just kept giving him 30 days. Then I'd have to file another petition (and pay for it). I live in FL and after it hit $5,000 it went to criminal court as a felony AND HE STILL HASN'T PAID IT and they're not making him.
The person who said DV IS ALL ABOUT CONTROL IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT ON! And the best way for abusers to be controlling is to cut their victims off from financial support. And despite all the laws and publicity about DV, the courts are letting them get away with it!
Even though I know the intention is well-meant, all the positive thinking in the world will not make very real poverty go away. I think the better solution is for us "victims" to join together and start speaking up LOUD. It's ridiculous to have candlelight vigils for victims and a bazillion laws on the books about DV if the courts are royally screwing us over...and they are!
Kim

Toledo, OH

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#10
Dec 3, 2010
 
It is great to help the organizations, they always need help, but the plain fact is that women still only get emergency help. What about the educated professional who can no longer work in her field, and is having emotional issues. And is still being stalked by her ex. She can't keep work because of the stalking, and has nothing left to beable to relocate. Organizations just say don't let him stop you from living your life. Try going into work on the 2nd day and finding out you are fired after they talked to your abuser.
Where are the grants to help these women.
Ike Turner

United States

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#11
Dec 3, 2010
 

Judged:

1

Hi any of you ladies available?
Ike Turner

United States

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#12
Dec 3, 2010
 
Hi, any of you ladies available?
Anonymous

AOL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#13
Jun 13, 2011
 
Some victims leave, and yes, victims almost always lose job while it goes on.

So you leave, and then you think in a couple years you will have a helathier life, but you still can't get a job because of the job gap. Or you get stuck in some low paying retail job with litlle chance for advnacement. If you're smart you get a Pell grant to return to school.....I am doing all of that ten years after I left the jerk, and still can't afford a car, have no life...no social life, and am a burden on my 77 year old mother living at her home and she drives me where I need to go...she will not help me with a car because my income is not so great. I work weekends,holidays, in retail which is a business at 44 years old I do not want to be in. I go to school part-time at night.....I work and sleep...that's it. So far there is no life after domestic violence! Any suggestions?
Charlyn

Asheville, NC

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#14
Jun 13, 2011
 
Anonymous wrote:
Some victims leave, and yes, victims almost always lose job while it goes on.
So you leave, and then you think in a couple years you will have a helathier life, but you still can't get a job because of the job gap. Or you get stuck in some low paying retail job with litlle chance for advnacement. If you're smart you get a Pell grant to return to school.....I am doing all of that ten years after I left the jerk, and still can't afford a car, have no life...no social life, and am a burden on my 77 year old mother living at her home and she drives me where I need to go...she will not help me with a car because my income is not so great. I work weekends,holidays, in retail which is a business at 44 years old I do not want to be in. I go to school part-time at night.....I work and sleep...that's it. So far there is no life after domestic violence! Any suggestions?
Try to be positive, remember you're in a better place, keep plugging away until you finish school and can find a better job. Look for supportive friends. Keep looking for other jobs with a little better pay or better hours. Times will be hard and it may seem endless but time goes by and you will have your financial and emotional freedom. You can do it.
Brahams

Asheville, NC

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#15
Jun 13, 2011
 
MurphyMobile wrote:
<quoted text>
etsi-
I had attorneys and LEOs asked me if my ex was into drugs or drinking.(They wanted to know for
mine and their safety). I stated no, he could do
squat if he was drunk or on drugs.
But I did let them know he had a passion for guns
for collecting and threatening me.
The stupid fool only taught me what I needed to know to blow his *ss away if I had to.
But he needs to live with the fact that he IS a
control freak, will never change, and will never
have cvhildren of his genes.
Sort of like your friend, Willard?
Celcius

Asheville, NC

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#16
Jun 13, 2011
 
Kim wrote:
It is great to help the organizations, they always need help, but the plain fact is that women still only get emergency help. What about the educated professional who can no longer work in her field, and is having emotional issues. And is still being stalked by her ex. She can't keep work because of the stalking, and has nothing left to beable to relocate. Organizations just say don't let him stop you from living your life. Try going into work on the 2nd day and finding out you are fired after they talked to your abuser.
Where are the grants to help these women.
People have all kinds of dilemmas. The government isn't here to make sure everyone gets a handout for their particular need. Sometimes you just have to make the best of it and get on with it. What about people that can no longer do the job they used to do and have to take another? What about people who used to drive for a living and no longer can do that? What about people who had a cushy job, lost it and had to sell their house and move to a smaller one? What about the person who had a professional job/license and can't find employment in that area of work? Stuff happens. The government can't foot every bill. When did this mindset take root?
Mike_Tyson

Mars Hill, NC

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#17
Jun 16, 2011
 

Judged:

1

Former Boxer looking for submissive F for relationship.
Silenced

Weed, CA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#18
Aug 2, 2011
 
As I read these posts, it is comforting to know that most these women finaly got out...I cannot, I have no where to go and yes, it is easier to stay in this abusive, emotional hell...I have no strenght left to fight back, I have no self -esteem left, for this bastard of a husband I married has taken everything away from me the last 16 years...no children, because he can't have sex with his wife, he states, because. I yelled at him..I will never be a mother, it's too late now, he has even taken my femininity away...I'm told I'm a F...c...t, a nothing, and now I believe it....I have no emotion left...except tears when no one is around. I just want to be happy for a day before I die. I just want quiet..I need to relocate, but have no means...I Just want my cats and my quiet....Will I ever wake up and not have to be scared? Want to leave desperately...but will lose health ins. for I am diabetic too. He knows I can't leave that is hy he keeps abusing me, he sees I'm getting weaker and to him it's all a game. Everyday, I hear I'm going to win like an 8 year old boy...I really hate my life.
nikkie

New Castle, DE

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#19
Sep 21, 2011
 
Im a survivor of domestic violence and it took alot to leave i was beat down kicked and made to feel like nothing he took my family friends and life away after seven years and two kids i just thought it would be alot easier to just die but then one last altercation woke me up so i took three small bags of stuff my two kids and left like a theif in the nite even after i left he would try to pull me back in and pull me down its been three years now that i left and life gets better little by little im glad i can say im now a survivor im no longer a victim

Tell me when this thread is updated: (Registration is not required)

Add to my Tracker Send me an email

Showing posts 1 - 18 of18
Type in your comments below
Name
(appears on your post)
Comments
Characters left: 4000
Type the numbers you see in the image on the right:

Please note by clicking on "Post Comment" you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Other Recent Sylva Discussions

Search the Sylva Forum:
Topic Updated Last By Comments
NC Who do you support for U.S. Senate in North Car... (Oct '10) 47 min TSF 54,927
just asking Sat wondering 1
Review: Carrion Tree Svc (Jul '11) Sat Tony 37
Macon County News Facebook for Drake Enterprises Fri Lawrence 14
Stockings and Garter Belts: (Sep '07) Jul 2 tasha 60
Cafe Portafinos Jul 1 Concerned citizen 1
Quin Theater Sucks (Apr '11) Jun 25 joshua 29
•••
•••
•••
•••

Sylva Jobs

•••
Enter and win $5000
•••
•••

Sylva People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

•••

Sylva News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Sylva
•••

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]
•••