After 3 years, couple turns boy over ...

After 3 years, couple turns boy over to father in Ohio | The Columbus Dispatch

There are 119 comments on the Columbus Dispatch story from Nov 1, 2010, titled After 3 years, couple turns boy over to father in Ohio | The Columbus Dispatch. In it, Columbus Dispatch reports that:

An Indiana couple has surrendered a boy they raised for three years to his biological father in Ohio after a long custody battle, an attorney said.

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Parasite Government

Columbus, OH

#104 Nov 2, 2010
JVA wrote:
I am an adoptive parent. Both of our children were taken home with the knowledge that the birthfather's rights needed to still be terminated within 30 days via filing through the birthfather registry. Both of ours, fortunately, were terminated. Let me just say that if either of our children were taken away from us, I'm not sure if I'd want to continue living. So I feel an enormous amount of compassion for the adoptive parents. I also feel deeply for the boy. That all being said, if I was notified that the child's birthfather contested the adoption within a month, as painful as it would have been, I would have turned him over when this first started. We can't really talke here about whether the birthfather will make a good father, we don't know. But he did what he needed to do legally.
Agree 100%. My wife and I have adopted two newborns - it is part of the deal is you have the 30 day window of sitting on pins and needles, waiting to see what happens.

If the birthfather asserts his rights, it is his child if he can prove fatherhood.

You know that going into the process.
Michael

Shelbyville, KY

#105 Nov 3, 2010
whatever wrote:
How tragic for both sides.
When the father filed the petition, why didn't the IN family give him back to the dad? Yes, it would have been sad, but, after three years it is now heartbreaking for them.
This is exactly why fathers should have a say. He could have been rasing his son for the past three years, but instead now he is going to have a confused son.
Hopefully the dad gets child support from the biological mother.
Did the bilogical mother do this out of spite?
The mother gave up everything, she didn't want the child, support very unlikly.
Michael

Shelbyville, KY

#106 Nov 3, 2010
Pooping now wrote:
That's terrible take a little boy from his adopted family it was the mother choice to put the boy up for adoption absolute bull.
The boy was never adopted, only papers where filed. The pre-adoption was stoped and never was completed. The mother choice, Pooping now, sounds like you falled back in it
Quit Wasting Tax Money

Columbus, OH

#107 Nov 3, 2010
Michael wrote:
<quoted text>
The mother gave up everything, she didn't want the child, support very unlikly.
Yeah, that works so well when men don't want anything to do with their child or baby-mamma...
whatever

Columbus, OH

#108 Nov 3, 2010
Michael wrote:
<quoted text>
The mother gave up everything, she didn't want the child, support very unlikly.
Maybe she gave up the baby for adoption so she would not have to pay any support. If the man did not want the baby he would still be on the hook for support, as should a woman.
upset

Mount Gilead, OH

#109 Nov 3, 2010
curious wrote:
<quoted text>
we had legal custody of a child for nine years that FCCS took away from his mother. half way through dad showed up and decided he wanted custody, after ignoring the child since birth. We fought it, he was our child by then but we lost.
The laws need to be changed so this doesn't happen to anymore children.
And your family has my sympathy. I'm truly sorry for your loss. Something many of the posters don't seem to realize.
Quit Wasting Tax Money

Columbus, OH

#110 Nov 4, 2010
curious wrote:
<quoted text>
we had legal custody of a child for nine years that FCCS took away from his mother. half way through dad showed up and decided he wanted custody, after ignoring the child since birth. We fought it, he was our child by then but we lost.
The laws need to be changed so this doesn't happen to anymore children.
Hold it a sec....

You had "legal custody"? As is a foster parent? Friend of the family? Please explain that one before trying for the sympathy.

Also, you state you had this kid for 9 years and the dad showed up 1/2 way through wanting custody? So for 4 1/2 years you had a court battle with the child's father?

How old was this child when placed in your care?

There are so many holes in this story that some part of the truth hasn't been told to us.
Harry

Columbus, OH

#111 Nov 4, 2010
A woman did this to a friend of mine back in 1998.He was married and banging a college girl,she got knocked up and basically sold the baby for adoption to a Indianapolis doctor and his wife.The guy has a 12 year old daughter he has no legal rights too.She moved to Indy before she was showing and the baby was long gone when he found out.
BuckeyeRon

Hilliard, OH

#112 Nov 4, 2010
Harry wrote:
A woman did this to a friend of mine back in 1998.He was married and banging a college girl,she got knocked up and basically sold the baby for adoption to a Indianapolis doctor and his wife.The guy has a 12 year old daughter he has no legal rights too.She moved to Indy before she was showing and the baby was long gone when he found out.
Maybe he should have paid more attention where he was distributing his sperm.
Whatever

Columbus, OH

#113 Nov 4, 2010
Harry wrote:
A woman did this to a friend of mine back in 1998.He was married and banging a college girl,she got knocked up and basically sold the baby for adoption to a Indianapolis doctor and his wife.The guy has a 12 year old daughter he has no legal rights too.She moved to Indy before she was showing and the baby was long gone when he found out.
just curious, would your friend have wanted the baby?

do you think that your friend should have had to sign off on the papers if he did not?

i feel sorry for people like your friend. dads anymore seem to be unappreciated and unwanted by the man haters.

one of my friends sons found out he was a father when the child was 4 and the mother wanted money from him. apparently not only does he have to pay support, but back child support too and he didn't even know there was a possibility. the kicker is, he isn't even allowed to see the child because it might be "confusing" for her.
BuckeyeRon

Hilliard, OH

#114 Nov 4, 2010
Whatever wrote:
<quoted text>
just curious, would your friend have wanted the baby?
do you think that your friend should have had to sign off on the papers if he did not?
i feel sorry for people like your friend. dads anymore seem to be unappreciated and unwanted by the man haters.
one of my friends sons found out he was a father when the child was 4 and the mother wanted money from him. apparently not only does he have to pay support, but back child support too and he didn't even know there was a possibility. the kicker is, he isn't even allowed to see the child because it might be "confusing" for her.
There is something fishy about this tale. You friend needs a good lawyer, if he really wants a relationship with this child.
Whatever

Columbus, OH

#115 Nov 4, 2010
BuckeyeRon wrote:
<quoted text>
There is something fishy about this tale. You friend needs a good lawyer, if he really wants a relationship with this child.
He does have a good lawyer, and it is currently going through the courts. the mothers lawyer has a stay (?) preventing him from seeing her. Hopefully it has a good outcome. But for now at least, he pays for the child but would love to have a relationship with her. Apparently this is not uncommon.
BuckeyeRon

Hilliard, OH

#116 Nov 4, 2010
Whatever wrote:
<quoted text>
He does have a good lawyer, and it is currently going through the courts. the mothers lawyer has a stay (?) preventing him from seeing her. Hopefully it has a good outcome. But for now at least, he pays for the child but would love to have a relationship with her. Apparently this is not uncommon.
This still sounds hokey. I know of no procedure for a "stay" in a custody proceeding, other than if domestic violence is involved or there is evidence that the father has harmed the child. Try to get the story straight.
Hmmm

Monroe, LA

#117 Nov 4, 2010
The family court system in America is fundamentally screwed up. Before an adoption is granted it should be the court's responsibility to determine, through records and paternity tests, whether or not the child is legally available for adoption with a legally binding determination made at that time. In a case where there is a dispute, as was the case here, the child should be fostered rather than provisionally granted to one party in the case. And it better not take 3 years or we need new judges...

We have friends where an "uncle" was released from prison and tried to claim their adopted son 6 YEARS later. They won the case, but with a lot of added anxiety and expense in their lives. This is a primary reason why we adopted our 2 kids from Russia. We would have loved to adopted domestically, but the chance of having to go through a nightmare like this was not worth the risk.
Whatever

Columbus, OH

#118 Nov 4, 2010
BuckeyeRon wrote:
<quoted text>
This still sounds hokey. I know of no procedure for a "stay" in a custody proceeding, other than if domestic violence is involved or there is evidence that the father has harmed the child. Try to get the story straight.
A lawyer I am not. Even in my comment a put a ??? next to the word stay.

Again, I state the mother and her lawyer are claiming since the man was not in the child's life for 4 years, that it could harm her emotionally even though he had no choice in the matter.

Why is this so hard to believe? I am sure many people are either going through a similar circumstance or know someone who is.
Whatever

Columbus, OH

#119 Nov 4, 2010
Oh, and NO there was no domestic violence or harm to the child by the father.
Matilida

Nashport, OH

#120 Nov 4, 2010
Some times the father is a better parent than the mother is. Some fathers take care of their children more than the mother does. While on the other hand personally I wouldn't trust all men just because they are the father So I would have to know that father before making any statement against him having his own child. I am sure the court would have someone over seeing the care he gave the child for awhile at least. The adoptive parents should have given that little boy to him as soon as he said he wanted the child.

Since: Jan 10

Oxford, OH

#121 Nov 25, 2010
smitty wrote:
<quoted text>
Huh?!?! How is that even possible? Or legal?
How is it possible? Simply, her Aunt petitioned the Courts claiming she was unfit to properly raise the child and sued for custody. The Aunt (who lived in Michigan) then went to a Court in Michigan and claimed that she deserved welfare benefits for raising the child. The Court granted the request and then turned around and decided that the 'biological parent' of the child was responsible to repay the State of Michigan for the welfare payments. My girlfriend was 6 years in arrears for child support before she even found out that she owed child support.

Is it legal? Yes it is. States have the legal right to recoup welfare payments made from the biological parents.
Quit Wasting Tax Money

Columbus, OH

#122 Nov 30, 2010
Ohio Veteran wrote:
<quoted text>
Is it legal? Yes it is. States have the legal right to recoup welfare payments made from the biological parents.
Exactly as it should be. Why should someone be able to have a child, not take care of that child and then expect the state to pay for raising that child?

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