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Hummer

Summersville, WV

#1 Feb 14, 2012
My husband and I got married 3 months after we started dating. We've been married for 3 years now. I have money from a settlement. And he never worked until this year, then he quit after a month. He says hes looking for more work but I'm not sure if I believe him. So I do most of the housework and pay all the bills while he just does whatever he wants. I'm really starting to feel used. If u were in my situation what would you do? Oh and also he tells me how to spend money what I can and can't buy etc, but he goes and buys whatever he wants regardless of the price. I love him but I'm getting fed up.
The Husband

Summersville, WV

#2 Feb 14, 2012
Did I tell you that you could get on my computor?
been in your shoes

Ponte Vedra Beach, FL

#3 Feb 14, 2012
Hummer wrote:
My husband and I got married 3 months after we started dating. We've been married for 3 years now. I have money from a settlement. And he never worked until this year, then he quit after a month. He says hes looking for more work but I'm not sure if I believe him. So I do most of the housework and pay all the bills while he just does whatever he wants. I'm really starting to feel used. If u were in my situation what would you do? Oh and also he tells me how to spend money what I can and can't buy etc, but he goes and buys whatever he wants regardless of the price. I love him but I'm getting fed up.
Girl I live the same situation. We got married a couple months after dating and we have been married going on 8 years now and up until last may when I feel deathly ill and had to have emergency open heart surgery at 35 years old, we both worked but I used my check to pay all the bills a big truck payment and insurance on both vehicles which were in my name and he screwed my credit up being late on payments and for the past three years he's been making more money than me and now he's seeing how it feels paying everything. Karma will come back and bite him in the butt wait and see. THere are times I am still debating on divorce but when you do love them its hard. Mine even had the audacity to leave me within the hour I came out of open heart surgery and left my parents and sister to stay and tend to me. That hurt more than anything and my most recent heart scare left me hospitalized for over 4 weeks and he only came to see me the day I was release to bring me home. Hang in there.
been in your shoes

United States

#4 Feb 14, 2012
The Husband wrote:
Did I tell you that you could get on my computor?
She shouldn't have to ask you to get on the damn thing. When two become one then what is yours becomes boths. Whats yours is hers and whats hers is yours. Be a cold day in hell if I ever have to ask my husband to get on anything damn thing or do anything. You better count yourself lucky she's still with you. Man up get off your ass and find a job. It's the mans duty to support the wife not the other way around. This time and day it takes to people working to make ends meet. I unfortunately am unable to work due to health purposes now but I would be if I was allowed
interested

United States

#5 Feb 15, 2012
you ladies need to kick the s**t outta your husbands and then hand them divorce papers. How can you love someone who treats you like a slave?
ROLE REVERSAL

Lindside, WV

#6 Feb 15, 2012
YEP.
Dr Phil

Chesapeake, VA

#7 Feb 15, 2012
You can not ask people on topix for answers when you know what you should do. They are going to take advantage of you until you decide it's enough!
1 post removed
Odd

Lizemores, WV

#9 Feb 16, 2012
Yeah , it's shocking you wouldn't like this arrangement being a woman since normally it's the other way around. Seriously whether it's the man or it's the woman in the relationship using the other it's not healthy or good and you should tell him how you feel. In fact, I say give him an ultimatum either he go to work and begin contributing or he can become your male wife. Buy him a maids outfit, shave and pluck, apply make up and add a wig, and give him a serving tray. I'd say given that situation he would soon b gainfully employed lol
bubba

Summersville, WV

#10 Feb 16, 2012
The first lady said they dated for 3 months before marriage and the second lady said she dated 2 months before marriage. How about taking some time to get to know someone before marrying them? Then you won't have all these problems. A little common sense goes a long way sometimes.
grateful

Charleston, WV

#11 Feb 16, 2012
Honestly, I don't have a real problem with not dating for long before you get married, you still have the mystery for a little longer. However, before I got married I was dating someone that could have cared less about having a job,( he would have rather we live off of the government), I didn't have one either, but I stayed home all day with our babies. The situation would get to the point where when I threatened to leave him, he would flip out on me and threaten to do stupid things like set my clothes on fire and kill himself. It took me five years to get away from him and I ended up marrying a very good friend that turned into more. It isn't an easy situation but I am living proof that it is possible to find someone who can be good to and for you. I know that you love them, but you can't spend the rest of your life waiting for someone to change and even if you don't find Mr. Right immediately you still sound like you would be better off on your own. But believe me, It's worth the risk. Good Luck.
Jerry

Powder Springs, GA

#12 Feb 16, 2012
What about us guys that work our as- off in the mines and the wives sit on their lazy butts and sleep in till noon and drive a brand new vehicle. Something wrong with that picture too.
Ginger

Chesapeake, VA

#13 Feb 16, 2012
Jerry wrote:
What about us guys that work our as- off in the mines and the wives sit on their lazy butts and sleep in till noon and drive a brand new vehicle. Something wrong with that picture too.
If you guys want to work your as- off at the mines and let your wives sit on their butts and sleep until noon, then I say good for the wives, just shows everybody how dumb the coal miners are.
FYI

United States

#14 Feb 16, 2012
The problem with this suituation is you need to decide if you are willing to spend the rest of your life this way. Do you want to live like this or do you deserve better. Sit down and make a list. Pros and Cons Whats good about the marrage and whats bad about it. See which list out weighs the other. Remember it will only get worse as they get older. Then make up your mind what you want to do. To the first lady after 3 yrs you wont get much unless you put him out. To the second lady hang in there 2 more yrs after 10 yrs you are entilter to more because of the yrs of marriage. Remember don't you leave put him out. Even if you have to call the law and say he pushed you.
Citizen

United States

#15 Feb 16, 2012
FYI wrote:
The problem with this suituation is you need to decide if you are willing to spend the rest of your life this way. Do you want to live like this or do you deserve better. Sit down and make a list. Pros and Cons Whats good about the marrage and whats bad about it. See which list out weighs the other. Remember it will only get worse as they get older. Then make up your mind what you want to do. To the first lady after 3 yrs you wont get much unless you put him out. To the second lady hang in there 2 more yrs after 10 yrs you are entilter to more because of the yrs of marriage. Remember don't you leave put him out. Even if you have to call the law and say he pushed you.
You are a disgusting human being. Telling her to call the law and lie and say he pushed her? WTF is wrong with you. Besides being against mans law it is also a crime against Gods law. Though shall not bear false witness.
Citizen

United States

#16 Feb 16, 2012
*Thou*
To the guys out there, FYI is that evil witch your mother warned you about. Feel sorry for her partner if she has one.
APRIL

Bluefield, WV

#17 Feb 16, 2012
Ginger wrote:
<quoted text>If you guys want to work your as- off at the mines and let your wives sit on their butts and sleep until noon, then I say good for the wives, just shows everybody how dumb the coal miners are.


Well not all of us wives sit on our butts while our husbands work in the mines...does your wife wash your clothes, clean your house, fix your dinner, take care of the kids? I think that is a full time job in itself....just saying....
APRIL

Bluefield, WV

#18 Feb 16, 2012
Hummer wrote:
My husband and I got married 3 months after we started dating. We've been married for 3 years now. I have money from a settlement. And he never worked until this year, then he quit after a month. He says hes looking for more work but I'm not sure if I believe him. So I do most of the housework and pay all the bills while he just does whatever he wants. I'm really starting to feel used. If u were in my situation what would you do? Oh and also he tells me how to spend money what I can and can't buy etc, but he goes and buys whatever he wants regardless of the price. I love him but I'm getting fed up.
I was married to a controlling man and I loved him, but my misery wasn't worth it....when u get tired of it you will do what you feel is best for you....I got out of my situation it turned violent after 3 years of marriage....
Rita

Summersville, WV

#19 Feb 17, 2012
Ok this is what really kills me... it is a double standard, women get really upset when their man doesnt have a job... well it is a two lane street... get off of your couch and get a job too! I have always had a job, and my husband has too! A marraige should be about the love between two people, and I could never imagine marriage after only a few months of being together... People need time to get to know each other.

And for woman to use the excuse well I am a full time mom... get real! Yes you have to take care of kids and clean your house.... everyone does it is called LIFE. Getting a job should be priority too, you need to set a good example for your kids. I was a single working mom for over 5 years I didnt sit at home and get welfare, I worked hard to provide for my child. It is the right thing to do. Stop making excuses to try to justify not getting off of you lazy bum to get a job. I feel bad for these men who bust their butts day in and day out for their wife to sit around and spend it all..... just saying
Rita

Summersville, WV

#20 Feb 17, 2012
Shame on people's attitudes about marriage! When you decide to marry someone it is soppose to be a lifetime committment to each other... TIL DEATH DO US PART!... NOT TIL DIVORCE DO US PART!....People think oh I am so in love until things get a little tough and instead of working it out like a couple should they just say oh well lets get a divorce... Divorce should not be in a couple's vocabulary...
grateful

Charleston, WV

#21 Feb 17, 2012
hey Rita, sounds to me like your biggest job in life is being high and mighty.

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