Moreno Jay goes public with a snap sh...

Moreno Jay goes public with a snap shot of his love life

Posted in the St. Marys Forum

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Anon

Kingsland, GA

#1 Jul 20, 2013
Our troubled contributor, Moreno Jay has decided to share with Topix Nation, a condensed version of his life's experience with intimacy.

It all started with a poster recalling that Moreno Jay once bragged about his former sexual prowess:

"You used to brag about what kind of a lady's man you used to be. The number 55 comes to mind, if you know what I mean."

Moreno Jay responded with Posts #s 250 and 251 in the thread entitled, "Who is showing signs of running"

Moreno Jay
Since: Oct 10
14,493
St. Marys, GA

#250

".....55 is correct".

Moreno Jay
Since: Oct 10
14,493
St. Marys, GA

#251
"There were 4 women I did not have second dates with. One because she got engaged shortly (days) after our first date, one because she thought I had actually been old enough to remember the Truman administration when I took her to see "Give-em' Hell, Harry," one because of her embarrassment for fainting and falling face first into a skillet I was frying hush puppies in, an one because we had grown up together since the ages of 11 and 10 and did not feel right dating. Hush puppy girl was one of only 5 one night stands out of 55. Not a bad satisfied customer % if I do say so myself."

We have all been witness to Moreno Jay bragging about his IQ. We have even seen him brag about his Navy Service, his college education, and his skill at reviewing new restaurants in the area.

But now he has ventured into the hush hush world of private experiences in the bedroom (or where ever).

Since we all love sharing the strange nuances of this man's troubled mind, I felt compelled to take what Moreno Jay made public under a dim 4 watt night light, and help the ol' boy out with a display worthy of the subject matter.

Moreno Jay, you devil you.
Jorge

Kingsland, GA

#2 Jul 20, 2013
When are we going to hear about his success in life?
flip flop

Kingsland, GA

#3 Jul 20, 2013
I want to hear about the poor girl who fell in the pan of hush puppies.

I have this horrible picture in my mind of this girl screaming in pain from the hot oil burning her face and Moreno Jay heavy breathing and shouting, "Shut up bitch,I'm hurrying as fast as I can! I'll take you to the emergency room as soon as I finish. You don't want the boys to turn blue, do you?"
Laughing

Kingsland, GA

#4 Jul 20, 2013
From Julian: "I clearly stated that only 5 of fifty five were one night stands. Fifty were multiple returners. Half-a dozen were 6 months or so exclusive relationships."

And there we have it - the summary of one "man's" intimate relationships throughout his life. I can only assume the the six women who tolerated him for 6 months or so were really, really hard up. Who knew our boy was such a ho? Or is this just more of his delusional autobiography? I wonder why he didn't include this on http://jayforfourforfourormore.blogspot.com/
Harry Palmer

Kingsland, GA

#5 Jul 20, 2013
You say she was 55?

“It's comong.”

Since: Nov 12

Location hidden

#6 Jul 21, 2013
El Jefe es El Hombre.
BTW, where is he to comment or hijack this thread? What story will he tell? I'm hoping he will tell the one when he was younger and wrestling alligators along the Yukon. Hey Jay, Have a fun day.
Really

Saint Marys, GA

#7 Jul 21, 2013
Does he also claim he drinks Dos Equis?

Names and PICTURES please from the worlds most interesting bullshiter.

“Master o Public Administration”

Since: Oct 10

St. Marys, GA

#8 Jul 21, 2013
Really wrote:
Does he also claim he drinks Dos Equis?
Names and PICTURES please from the worlds most interesting bullshiter.
In fact, I do.

Nothing like an ice cold Dos Equis dark lager with a good Mexican meal.

“Master o Public Administration”

Since: Oct 10

St. Marys, GA

#9 Jul 21, 2013
Harry Palmer wrote:
You say she was 55?
Now that you mention it, that sounds about right for one particular Latina cougar.

“Master o Public Administration”

Since: Oct 10

St. Marys, GA

#10 Jul 21, 2013
flip flop wrote:
I want to hear about the poor girl who fell in the pan of hush puppies.
I have this horrible picture in my mind of this girl screaming in pain from the hot oil burning her face and Moreno Jay heavy breathing and shouting, "Shut up bitch,I'm hurrying as fast as I can! I'll take you to the emergency room as soon as I finish. You don't want the boys to turn blue, do you?"
Done.

This was a first (and last) date with this gal.

I told her that we would catch an early movie then have supper at my place.

When we got back to my place, the entrée was marinated shrimp that I had placed into the marinade and refrigerated the day before. Got that recipe from the tugboat captain father of another gal I had dated. It was excellent. I whipped up some fresh, authentic, grated Southern cole slaw. We were having wine while I was frying the hushpuppies in a cast iron skillet.

Now, as I was tending the hushpuppies, she was standing to my left and slightly behind me holding the plat that I was placing the hush puppies upon when they were done.

One instant, I was talking to her and looking down a the browning hush puppies. The next instant, I was looking at eh back of her head. She had fainted and landed face first into the frying pan.

Fortunately, she had her hair up in two long braids from either side of the back of her head. I quickly grabbed her braids, pulled her face out of the boiling oil, and lowered her to the floor, still passed out.

I darted to the bathroom to grab a towel.

Upon my return, she had regained consciousness and was crawling around the kitchen floor on her hands and knees retrieving the scattered hush puppies, putting them back onto the plate, and apologizing profusely.

I quickly grabbed her under her arms and yanked her to her feet.

Sin was already sloughing off of her forehead. Hot grease was draining from her face and running down her chest. She was clearly in shock.

I ripped her blouse and bra off.

After quickly pat drying the hot grease with the towel, I rushed her into the bathtub where I turned on a cold shower and had her stand with it cascading over her face and chest to kill the residual heat. I was standing behind her to hold her up.

As luck would have it, from my active duty days, I had a tube of tetracaine analgesic ointment. After about 15 minutes under the shower, I took her out, sat her down at a dining room chair,and applied tetracaine to her face, chest, and breasts.

That, combined with shock, alleviated her pain sufficiently that we actually sat sown and ate the shrimp and slaw. I know the tetracaine was effective because she at first was missing her mouth and sticking the fork into her chin. At my suggestion, she overcame that by holding the fork still with both hands in from of her face then bringing her mouth the fork.

After supper, I got out my minor surgical kit. Using a rat-toothed Adson and a pair of iris scissors, I derided all of the sloughing skin from her forehead, nose, lips, and chin.

Throughout, I was trying to downplay the seriousness of her burns.
They were, after all, only severe second degree. I assured her that I had dealt with many such burns on kids at the Hoa Khan Children's Hopsital. I assured her that her new skin would look even better than before.(I ran into her about 6 months later and indeed it did.)

Now, she said that she was worried that her father would freak out at the sight of her. She was twenty four, as was I, and had recently completed a master's degree out of state, and was temporarily living with her mother and dentist father. She asked if she could spend the night.

I asked her if her parents would be more freaked out at the sight of her or her not returning home form a date. She assured me that he former would and the latter would not.

So, she spent the night. Suffice it to say that I did all that I could do to distract her from her burns.

I ripped her blouse and

“Master o Public Administration”

Since: Oct 10

St. Marys, GA

#11 Jul 21, 2013
(Scratch that last line above.)

Now,the next morning,I drove her home at about 10:00 AM. She went in just ahead of me and told me to wait in the dining room, just outside the kitchen where her parents were having coffee and sharing the Sunday paper.

I could see into the kitchen. When she walked in, her mother screamed, and yelled at me "What have you done to her?! Her father, about my size but in his late fifties, jumped up and started pacing in tight circles in the kitchen slamming his fist into the palm of his other hand.

She quickly assured them that I had not only done nothing to her but ad taken exceptionally good care of her. She went on to explain what happened.

It turns out that she was on a fasting diet the day of our date (can't imagine why, she was gorgeous).
On top of that she had spent the day sunbathing a the beach. Add a little wine on a empty stomach standing over a hot stove and bingo, she fainted.

Well, dad was a retired Air Force dentist and mom was a retired, know-it-all RN.

Mom insisted that write down exactly what I had doe after she was burned and that I accompany them out to the Hunter Army Airfield Hospital so that she could be seen in the ER.

So, we all piled into the parent's car and headed to the base.

On the way there, in the back seat with her, I wrote out in great detail and using the correct medical terminology just exactly what I had done.
I did not sign it or indicate what medical training I had.

When we got there, Mom wanted to go into the exam room with her, but she refused to let her. At that, mom snatched the explanation of what I had done and shoved it into her daughters had, saying, "Here, show him what he did to you!"

A few minutes later, the doctor and my date re-appeared. Handing the note back to the mother, he said to her parents, "I'm a little confused, Did y'all just want a second opinion or what? She's obviously already been treated by a doctor."

That was one of the toughest cases of grin suppression I've ever experienced.

So, we headed back to the house.

I should note a this point that by Sunday morning, my date's lips had swollen to the point that it looked like two small sausages were glued to her face.

When we go to the house, the still pissed parents bolted straight in the house leaving me to walk her to the door.

She paused at he door and thanked me for all that I had done for her.

I told her to take it easy and that her parents would soon calm down. I reassured her that I had watched many such burns heal and that she would actually look even prettier than before and so on.

And then, in an incredible Mony Pythonesque,as my a parting comment, I said "Keep a stiff upper lip."

Seeing the distressed look on my face, she grinned as broadly as she could with Smokey Link lips and said "Bye."

“Master o Public Administration”

Since: Oct 10

St. Marys, GA

#12 Jul 21, 2013
And then, in an incredible Mony Pythonesque moment,as my a parting comment, I said "Keep a stiff upper lip."
Big Skinny

Kingsland, GA

#13 Jul 21, 2013
What a bunch of BS.
flip flop

Kingsland, GA

#14 Jul 21, 2013
Moreno Jay wrote:
<quoted text>
Now that you mention it, that sounds about right for one particular Latina cougar.
Good job on "hush puppy". Would you tell us about the Latina cougar? One night stand or stand-by booty call?
Publisher

Saint Marys, GA

#15 Jul 21, 2013
Rejected

Fragmented with little substance. The vocabulary and flow of your words resembles what would be expected from an horny eleven year old. How old are you?

Suggestion; Don't quit your day job even if it's peddling papers.
Laughing

Kingsland, GA

#16 Jul 21, 2013
Oh dear God, people, don't encourage his psychosis. Please. My stomach can't take it. Next he'll be sharing grotesque stories about bananas. (My cat just threw up).

“Master o Public Administration”

Since: Oct 10

St. Marys, GA

#17 Jul 21, 2013
flip flop wrote:
<quoted text>
Good job on "hush puppy". Would you tell us about the Latina cougar? One night stand or stand-by booty call?
One night stand. Hot Latina. Had given me the "Hey, big boy!" look a few times at work an d once inthe supermarket so I called her up and took her straight to bed. Shocking, eh?

“Master o Public Administration”

Since: Oct 10

St. Marys, GA

#18 Jul 21, 2013
Big Skinny wrote:
What a bunch of BS.
Amazing how quickly I can make up such a detailed story don't you think?
Hootie

Kingsland, GA

#19 Jul 21, 2013
My wife obviously read this masterpiece. She just walked into my office with her tongue curled over her upper lip and her lower lip curled down and inside out. Then she shouted, "Help me I just fell into a pan of hush puppies!"

“Master o Public Administration”

Since: Oct 10

St. Marys, GA

#20 Jul 21, 2013
Did you rip her blouse and bra off or were you clueless?

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