I've been constipated for a week now

I've been constipated for a week now

Posted in the Springfield Forum

Jessica

Springfield, MO

#1 Nov 12, 2011
I've tried to crap for almost a week now and nothing. Tried laxatives and almost every suggestion no matter how weird from friends (even the suggestion that is an aid from the boyfriend) and nothing. Finally got to the suggestion of a cigarette and a cup of coffee and I'll be damed it worked in like 4 minutes! This should be some miracle drug!
Roy

Dubuque, IA

#2 Nov 12, 2011
Congrats on that particular dilemma but I think we all want to know the exact strategy:
was the cigarette lit (was it filtered) and how hot was the coffee(was it decaf)?
which did you insert first?
Jessica

Springfield, MO

#3 Nov 12, 2011
Well the cigarette burnt my azzhole but the caffinated coffee purked things up real quick. I would suggest using filtered tho. Good luck!
SuZ

Springfield, MO

#4 Nov 12, 2011
Just so you know ... I had nothing to do with starting this thread
Yes you

Burlington, IA

#5 Nov 12, 2011
did,if you had of pulled your head out of her azz a week ago,she wouldn't of had that problem.
ZuS

Burlington, IA

#6 Nov 12, 2011
ThAt'S SoMe FuNnY cHiT tHeRe. YeS iT iS.
Rastabobsled

United States

#8 Nov 13, 2011
Why would you come on a forum and ask total stangers? Why would you not seek the advice of a doctor? LOL @ idiots
CMK

Springfield, MO

#9 Nov 13, 2011
If you read the post correctly you would see that it was a suggestion not her asking for help. It's fairly evident it was done as a joke also.....Are you for real?

Since: Jul 10

Location hidden

#10 Nov 13, 2011
Jessica wrote:
Well the cigarette burnt my azzhole but the caffinated coffee purked things up real quick. I would suggest using filtered tho. Good luck!
I LOL'd.

“Dum Di Dum”

Since: Oct 09

Location hidden

#11 Nov 14, 2011
Wonderful...Hope, you didnīt take any pictures showing this special procedure...
Jessica

Springfield, MO

#12 Nov 15, 2011
As a matter of fact I took video footage for part of the procedures. Interested?

“Dum Di Dum”

Since: Oct 09

Location hidden

#13 Nov 16, 2011
No...But the cigarettes industry might be interested in it. At least, they seem to help in certain cases
Jessica

Springfield, MO

#14 Nov 16, 2011
I guess it would be a new way of getting rectal cancer.
AnyAdvice

Sterling Heights, MI

#15 Feb 7, 2013
I've been really worried recently since I'm 14 now and have been caring more about my health recently. Well ever since I can remember I've been very constipated and it hasn't stopped. I can't think of a bowel movement that hasn't strained me to the point of feeling like I'm gonna pop a vein or just horrible pain. I bleed most of the time and my colon hurts most of the time.
I don't know how to fix this I've had this my whole life and my parents just say I have to poop, but they don't know that it hurts so bad and I can't even poop. I'm not sure if this is worth having checked or its my habits that have been causing this my whole life.
SuZ

United States

#16 Feb 7, 2013
You did mention it at your yearly physical exam with your primary ?... YES ?

Try this : Fiber One or All Bran . It has to be one of those two brands ONLY. Have a bowl at bed with a banana and a bowl in the morning with a banana.
Do this for a week or two, touch base.

MOST important - you need to scream -
"HEY MOM (real loud) I cant poop .
SuZ

United States

#17 Feb 7, 2013
+Dried fruit . Like apricots, rasins ..Never met a kid that wouldnt down a bag of yogart covered rasins.I also buy a lot of nuts and trailmix.
I bet your primary would really be impressed if you kept a log of the details for your next visit.
Heli

United States

#18 Mar 2, 2013
Jessica wrote:
I've tried to crap for almost a week now and nothing. Tried laxatives and almost every suggestion no matter how weird from friends (even the suggestion that is an aid from the boyfriend) and nothing. Finally got to the suggestion of a cigarette and a cup of coffee and I'll be damed it worked in like 4 minutes! This should be some miracle drug!
LMFAO
Darla

San Jose, CA

#20 Mar 23, 2013
SuZ wrote:
+Dried fruit . Like apricots, rasins ..Never met a kid that wouldnt down a bag of yogart covered rasins.I also buy a lot of nuts and trailmix.
I bet your primary would really be impressed if you kept a log of the details for your next visit.
Good info. Thx
Squattin Poopin

Branson, MO

#21 Mar 23, 2013
Hey Dear Darla , have you ever tried any prunes in your shredded wheat?
Darla wrote:
<quoted text>
Good info. Thx
We got an old hillbilly proverb
which says if you eat prunes before June
under a full moon
you'll never haf to wear
a big boy diaper again.

I eat prunes in my shredded wheat
and black raisins in my white oatmeal, Darla.

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