dwilson

Tucson, AZ

#43 Jan 30, 2013
me n my lil brother was there n tha late 80s im 30 now i remember wen they seperated me n my lil bro i saw him on tha field wit tha other kids i ran to him n this lady told me i couldnt play wit him n took me away from him i cried then n ima grown man now n i still cry wen i think about him
dwilson

Tucson, AZ

#44 Jan 30, 2013
it hurts my heart thinkn about tha kids who were there it angers me to c how kids r abused n forgotten about i wish i could help i wish i could take there pain away i pray tht my ancestors my creator of us all protects them n there innocence i pray my ancestors my creator relieves tha pain of tha abused children (amen)
Monica Valencia

Newark, NJ

#45 Feb 2, 2013
I was also a resident at McClaren Hall in 1995 for about 3 moths, I believe. I was removed from my home at the age of 15 for being a victim not a troublemaker. I do remember feeling scared and petrified but mostly from other kids., the staff seemed mean and cold hearted. I remember being reprimanded for small issues, kids awoling and lots of fights. I am now thankful for being placed on foster care., I wish I could connect with others who "went through the system"!
daniel pagan

Kaysville, UT

#46 Feb 7, 2013
i first got there in 1999. i was 11 years old. i have been restrained by several large staff with a combined weight of 500 lbs or more to the point of near suffication. i have been thrown in the closet to muffle my cries of pain and slammed around the room.i ended up there off and on from 1999 til 2002 when it was in the process of being shit down. im now 25 years old and im a forklift driver. you can find me on facebook https://www.facebook.com/daniel.pagan3
BobbiCheez

Mesquite, TX

#47 Feb 16, 2013
I got there before the real bad stuff kicked off. I was first placed in MH in 1976. Jr girls, lockup side. I refer to this as 'lockup side' because I also spent time on the YSC (Youth Services Center)side, which at the time was minimal lockup. Between 76 and 1980, I was in jr and senior girls both, one unit twice, but can't remember which. On the YSC side I was on wing B (juniors, both sexes)once, and wing C (seniors, also co-ed) twice. Most of my stays were inbetween placements I always seemed to mess up and end up in the quiet room. With all this time spent there, I got to see quite a bit of the evolution of the compound. On my first visit there was still a church feel to the place, with a statue garden from the old building, and an old auditorium. We were told the auditorium would go soon. By my 3rd or 4th stay, the new one (and school) was just being completed. We had a rather large dance in it when it was new. There was no pool, and no big trees in the lockup yard.
Most things I remember fondly are from the YSC side. The MH newsletter song dedications, the weekend movies upstairs on wing C, the YSC nurse, Barbara the counselor with real long grey hair, a black male counselor called 'Sugar Bear', meeting Mr.T and the Bionic Woman, listening to the radio over the intercom at bedtime.. I even had the chickenpox while I was on wing C. NO fun!
In 1994 I contacted Barbara and said my thank-yous for her kindnesses back then. I asked about obtaining records of the 'daily behavior diaries' we ALL had written about us, but she said they were long since disposed of. When I found a higher-up at the DPSS/CPS offices, I was told any records that may have existed in the 70's are now destroyed.
I know some people had bad experiences there, but I still somehow came out with my dignity intact. The only residual trauma I could credit to my time spent there is involuntary panic when I hear bunches of keys rattling. If you were there, you know what sound I'm talking about. It's been good to find this forum and add my little bit to it. Would love to know if there's anyone out there that spent any time at Hathaway Childrens Village, too.
jeff porter

Spokane, WA

#48 Mar 6, 2013
I was in maclaren in 1993 or 94 I hated that place I stayed in the jr. boys cottage will never forget the shirts with the little bears in the middle, or all the drama that went on in that place or the abuse from the staff members the one I hated the most was that punk tony infact maclauren hall was the first time I acutally seen gay people and a kid get rapped yep mac was a bad place I would never let my kid's go threw something like that.
Matthew Denny

Worley, ID

#49 Mar 11, 2013
I was there once in late 1985-1986 for several months and again in 1993 for almost a year. I have very vivid memories of it. I remember Mr Mack from the school and bill from the jr boys cottage. I was 14 in 1993 so I am 34 now. I met many cool people there. Few of which I recently found and half of them don't remember much of me. I used to play basketball with Joanne Faulkner and used to hang out with crystal vigil. I remember that girl Sylvia who had a bunch of kids by the time she was 18. I hardly remember any of the guys from there. If anyone remembers me, email me matthewdenny1978@gmail.com
Joey G

Arlington, VA

#50 Mar 26, 2013
I was in mcclarren Hall in 1989.. And I witness first hand the emotional physical and sexual abuse. I remember how the staff would raise their hand to a child in a motion as if to strike him or her Causing the child to raise their hands in an effort to protect their face. That simple act of raising their hand to protect their face would give staff the green light to beat the child... I am so relieved to hear that it is closed down!! if anybody needs somebody to talk to about this horrible place please feel free to email me... najoeyg@gmail.com. I hope that everyone who is experienced that place has grown to be successful men and women thank you...
Mac Hall

Anonymous Proxy

#51 Apr 3, 2013
I started a small blog. I have the form required to request your records from the county of Los Angeles in pdf on a page of the blog. It's at:

http://maclarenhallabuse.wordpress.com

It was the most abusive institution I've ever seen in the USA. I was there when it was run by adult probation in the 1960's, so your experience may differ.

What really amazes me is how many of these places that are supposed to "help" you still far fall short of something called Trauma-Informed Care. I went to a community mental health center near where I lived and the place in one location was awful. Don't they ever learn?

That blog is at:

http://suncoastquestions.wordpress.com

Maybe if we could get everyone to use Trauma-Informed Care and treat people with respect, this world would be a better place to live! Child abuse damages their brains and it doesn't improve when you become an adult!
Mac Hall

Lithuania

#52 Apr 3, 2013
Joey,

I was there in the 1960's and I graduated from HS early to get out of foster care and the abusive Los Angeles County system. I've requested my records, but I'm still waiting (3 months later). I think they are in fear that everyone will sue them for abuse.

I went on to get my graduate and under graduate degrees, but I got severe PTSD as an adult. I guess kids who are abused can get PTSD much easier because some parts of abused children's brains are smaller.

Going to get "help" from places that are supposed to help you hasn't changed from the days of Mac--only the level of that lack of support.

I have a copy of the form in case you want to get your records:

http://maclarenhallabuse.wordpress.com

Hang tough man!
Joey G wrote:
I was in mcclarren Hall in 1989.. And I witness first hand the emotional physical and sexual abuse. I remember how the staff would raise their hand to a child in a motion as if to strike him or her Causing the child to raise their hands in an effort to protect their face. That simple act of raising their hand to protect their face would give staff the green light to beat the child... I am so relieved to hear that it is closed down!! if anybody needs somebody to talk to about this horrible place please feel free to email me... najoeyg@gmail.com. I hope that everyone who is experienced that place has grown to be successful men and women thank you...
Dove

Merkel, TX

#53 Apr 14, 2013
I was there in late 70's early 80. Was on both Mac side & Y.S.C. side.
There is a group on facebook for mac hall survivors, if anyone is interested.
Georgia April

United States

#54 Apr 22, 2013
I remember Romeo! He was ok.
Georgia April

United States

#55 Apr 22, 2013
It is good to see this forum is still active. I survived many horrors. The sexual abuse only those on this forum know about it. Nobody I'm close to knows.
ATTENTION

United States

#56 Apr 22, 2013
i grew up more less in the system from the age of 12 untill i joined the service at 18 years old i was in a placement in baldwin park ca called eyc(eggleston youth center) n e ways i was never placed at mac hall but i remember one time i went with one of the staff members from eyc who went to mac hall to pick up a residenf n e way i remember the look of the place n the long narrow walkway into the main building i guess i could see many little faces of childreb that just had the look of "take me with u" faces n i felt so sad for them it really hurt seeing tht n knowing tht they were gonna stay there when he kid saw us he was so happy n relieved tht he was getting to go with us i snickered a lil n told him tht ur still going to a placement u know n he said i dont care it cant b worse then where he had just came from after tht the staff started asking him questions about what he seen or personally encountered there n some of the stories he told us were outragious n e ways this was back in like 97 or 98 to all of u tht where at mac hall u have my respect n i prey tht all of u ill stay strong n keep ur head up like i said i was never there but i been in a few placements like morning sky school,eyc,and c.a.o.f. n e way piece b with u tbagger1984@yahoo.com is how i can b teached
ATTENTION

United States

#57 Apr 22, 2013
p.s. sorry for all the misspelled words lol part of it is because i aint the best speller in the world but the most obvious ones r because im typing from my cell phone n the lil buttons on the screen or too small
OrtegaH

El Monte, CA

#58 Apr 26, 2013
I was there back in the early 90s it was scarey but a great place never had a problem never was aware of the past problems im so sorry for the ones who got abused i was placed there cause i was abused badly all of you are in my prayers.
Ex PO

Norco, CA

#59 Apr 26, 2013
Kylleen wrote:
I spent many years in and out of Maclaren Hall as a 10 year old, the last time when I was 16.. When I was put into a group home where I remained till I was emancipated. I was in the the first time in 1984 and the last time in 1990. The place was set up into "cottages" I was in Jr. Girls and Sr. Girls.. Although I remember disliking Maclaren and thinking about Awoling a lot for a kid like me there were not many places willing to take a "damaged" child. I was restrained and put into a timeout room..(a locked room with bare walls and floors) Now with the ability to look back I know that was done to protect myself and others. I was angry for the abuse that I suffered that put me there so I acted out terribly. As did most the people I was there with. Once I reliezed fighting and acting tough were not gonna help me get out, I changed.. Then the program went smoothly I enjoyed things that most people did, went on outings.. Met many celebrities (once a year they had a celebrity day) I watched Run DMC do a private concert inside the walls, they also would have tons of activities. They even took poloroid pictures of you with the different celebrities.. Some I still have to this day. The system may not have been perfect but I was not burned with coffee or ciggerettes, or beaten or touched when I went to sleep. So from where I came from it was "safe". Being a kid in the system for many years a total of 12 years.. This was not the worst place that I was. When I emancipated I got a full ride to college (With the help of my social worker) and I made something of me. I think life is what you make of it, I choose not let the circumstances of my childhood define who I am, this includes Maclaren Hall... I think everyone there was just trying to survive including the staff members who had to deal with such abused children, I could not imagine how hard that might be. I am 37 years old and I would not change who I am today.. I am married to my best friend, have great kids, and have a great career. I think this experience shaped me into the person that I am. I came on this form to connect with some of the great people I met while I was there.. If you were there during this time and story sounds familiar please reply.. Thanks Kylleen
these are the stories I like to hear that once made me a proud PO.
Ex PO

Norco, CA

#60 Apr 27, 2013
It breaks my heart to hear some of the experiences that you went through. But at the same time, I feel joy for those who were able to overcome those horrific experiences even if you just witnessed them. I am a PO with the Los Angeles County Probation Department and yes, I myself personally experienced abuse while working there for the last ten years. I know it sounds funny to hear that coming from a staff. I used to be proud of what I did for a living until I became an auditor. The department has been under scrutiny for the last 10-12 years. I thought that by performing my duties as an auditor I would make a difference but that choice has costed freedom. I know you are thinking...freedom? Did I go to jail? No, I am a prisoner in my own home. I was severely harassed by my co workers for holding them to a higher standard. I reported, as a part of my duties, all the issues that involved enhanced supervision (close and constant supervision), Use of Force, and anything and everything related to Special Housing Unit. I was persecuted so bad that I was forced to go out on leave without pay twice. I even got threats. What is hard for me to accept is that the same population that I chose to stands ground for (including staff) are the same people they turned against me. They "jacketed" me, slandered, blacklisted, and, libeled me to name a few. I was placed on a threat assessment list which a covert investigation is opened and basically my life is ruined. I am always under surveillance and harassed everywhere I go. I still have somewhat of a family left and lost all my friends because of probation. They ruined my relationship too. Look it up. I am a targeted individual and gang stalked, multi stalked, and it's also known as organized stalking. I just want to say Mac Hall you are doing a great job and good looking out to whoever started this. Enjoy your freedom and live every moment. Peace
Ex PO

Norco, CA

#61 Apr 27, 2013
Mac Hall wrote:
Joey,
I was there in the 1960's and I graduated from HS early to get out of foster care and the abusive Los Angeles County system. I've requested my records, but I'm still waiting (3 months later). I think they are in fear that everyone will sue them for abuse.
I went on to get my graduate and under graduate degrees, but I got severe PTSD as an adult. I guess kids who are abused can get PTSD much easier because some parts of abused children's brains are smaller.
Going to get "help" from places that are supposed to help you hasn't changed from the days of Mac--only the level of that lack of support.
I have a copy of the form in case you want to get your records:
http://maclarenhallabuse.wordpress.com
Hang tough man!
<quoted text>
good job MAC!
Ex PO

Norco, CA

#62 Apr 27, 2013
wuebwed wrote:
I am wue,I posted the first message, I would like tp thank everyone that responded, also anyone that was there in the early 70's,I was with my sister cathy, I also remember a girl named Diamond Davis, I went to a foster home in Anaheim,calif. Diamond came later. Anyone is welcome to e mail me at wuebwed@gmail.com good luck & God bless!
good job!

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