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Sad

Somerset, KY

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#1
Feb 25, 2013
 
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years. I am 28, and he is 37. He has intimacy issues. We don't kiss anymore, he doesn't like to cuddle, and the number one problem... we only have sex once a week. I am at a complete loss. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do?
Level 6

Since: Mar 12

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#2
Feb 25, 2013
 

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Time to move-on-time, for you.

If this is bothering you enough to post on Topix, then that's my advice.

Life's complicated enough without having to be lonely when you're with somebody.

Or, just remain SAD.
manfromthewest

Somerset, KY

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#3
Feb 25, 2013
 
most men dont like the cuddleing ... some of us do lol

“Irish Eyes, T'salagi Temper”

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Since: Nov 08

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#4
Feb 25, 2013
 

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He may be seeing someone else and doesn't want to be intimate with you, in fear of you finding out. I believe it would be best for you to just move on. Life is too short to be anything but happy.
Tom

Somerset, KY

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#5
Feb 25, 2013
 

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He may have a testosterone problem. Low testosterone has the same side effects as what you described
tim

Somerset, KY

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#6
Feb 25, 2013
 

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Maybe he is cheating on you or wants out? Its really not that uncommon for a guy to not want intimacy, its just the way we are wired.
Google

London, KY

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#7
Feb 25, 2013
 
If you fed him his favorite food every day he would get tired of it eventually. He might just want to eat it once a week, then once a month until finally its not his favorite food anymore.

The only thing different with sex is that even if its not our favorite food anymore, we don't want anyone one else eating it for us. And there lies the problem. Thats why you have idiots that stab their wives 16 times. Got to learn that if you don't eat it then you need to let someone else eat it because you shouldn't waste food.

I think I'm hungry now.
Farmboy

London, KY

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#8
Feb 25, 2013
 
Sad wrote:
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years. I am 28, and he is 37. He has intimacy issues. We don't kiss anymore, he doesn't like to cuddle, and the number one problem... we only have sex once a week. I am at a complete loss. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do?
Dear Sad:
You have some advise here. Some of it good some not so. You choose.
I have some questions for you to ponder.

Does he still love you, or want to be with you?
Does he take you for granted? Some men do not realize what they have till they lose it.
Do you keep yourself presentable and clean?
Has he always been lacking in the affectionate department, or is this a new problem?
Have you sent some signal to him to make him change his behavior?
Do you tell him of your desires or wishes, or otherwise communicate what you want?

“Colorful Beyond Words”

Level 10

Since: May 11

"True Love Never Ends "

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#9
Feb 25, 2013
 
Google wrote:
If you fed him his favorite food every day he would get tired of it eventually. He might just want to eat it once a week, then once a month until finally its not his favorite food anymore.
The only thing different with sex is that even if its not our favorite food anymore, we don't want anyone one else eating it for us. And there lies the problem. Thats why you have idiots that stab their wives 16 times. Got to learn that if you don't eat it then you need to let someone else eat it because you shouldn't waste food.
I think I'm hungry now.
What? LOl !! That has to be one of the strangest analogies I have ever read.

“"No Sleep, 'til Brooklyn!"”

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Since: May 08

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#10
Feb 25, 2013
 
Tell him the truth about things before you think of leaving. Let him know how you feel. The issue could be a variety of things, but you won't know unless you tell him the truth, and he reciprocates.

Things will not change, unless one of you changes them. Don't waste your time with being sad, it isn't worth it. You'll end up hurting yourself, and him as well.
Google

London, KY

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#11
Feb 25, 2013
 
Hatti_Hollerand wrote:
<quoted text>What? LOl !! That has to be one of the strangest analogies I have ever read.
Ha, was trying to say that sometimes the guy might be done but he keeps the woman hanging on because even tho he might not want her anymore, his desire for no one else to have her is greater.

See if that makes any sense. Its hard to post here with Delete A Clause dropping in erasing everything. Wasn't really talking about eating a burger.
harpocrates

Rockholds, KY

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#12
Feb 25, 2013
 
#8
The average married couple has sex 58 times per year, or slightly more than once a week.g

http://facts.randomhistory.com/interesting-fa...

#2
the average married couple spends just four minutes a day alone together.g
well

Bowling Green, KY

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#13
Feb 25, 2013
 
Have you gained weight? I'm not being mean, but alot of women let themselves go when they get into a committed relationship. Men like good looking women, it's a fact. If you've gained 50 pounds in the last three years he may not be as interested.
Single women keep themselves looking good when they are hunting a man, why not after?
What if you married a guy and he quit working? We have responsibilities to our mates. A woman that let's herself go makes her man lose his self esteem.
OMG

Manchester, KY

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#15
Feb 25, 2013
 
well wrote:
Have you gained weight? I'm not being mean, but alot of women let themselves go when they get into a committed relationship. Men like good looking women, it's a fact. If you've gained 50 pounds in the last three years he may not be as interested.
Single women keep themselves looking good when they are hunting a man, why not after?
What if you married a guy and he quit working? We have responsibilities to our mates. A woman that let's herself go makes her man lose his self esteem.
The sad thing is men gain weight to and may not be as handsome as they were when we first married them. Does that mean you should cheat? I think not. In my opinion this man is cheating on her and she needs not invest any more time in him. Get rid of the DB.
OMG

Manchester, KY

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#16
Feb 25, 2013
 
Sad wrote:
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years. I am 28, and he is 37. He has intimacy issues. We don't kiss anymore, he doesn't like to cuddle, and the number one problem... we only have sex once a week. I am at a complete loss. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do?
Was he married when you all got together? If he was that should tell you everything. If they do it to one they will do it to another.
SYXX THE TROLL

Hopkinsville, KY

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#17
Feb 25, 2013
 
Sit him down and talk about this before assuming anything. Communication is the biggest problem couples have. If he is 37 he might have a testosterone problem.
Right

Somerset, KY

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#19
Feb 26, 2013
 

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Tom wrote:
He may have a testosterone problem. Low testosterone has the same side effects as what you described
This is what it sounds like to me. Drinking heavy and stress are two of the biggest cause of this.
Sad

Somerset, KY

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#20
Feb 26, 2013
 
He blames it on me, and says my mouth is the problem. He yells at me EVERY SINGLE MORNING. When our son cries he yells at me, if I make a loud noise he yells at me, when I try to wake him up for work he yells at me. Then when I yell at him back he can't stand it and says that I am starting on him again, and that's not the case.
Disbelief

Naperville, IL

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#21
Feb 26, 2013
 
Sad wrote:
He blames it on me, and says my mouth is the problem. He yells at me EVERY SINGLE MORNING. When our son cries he yells at me, if I make a loud noise he yells at me, when I try to wake him up for work he yells at me. Then when I yell at him back he can't stand it and says that I am starting on him again, and that's not the case.
I'm sorry but everything points to him having someone else.
USA

London, KY

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#22
Feb 26, 2013
 
sex once a week ,,,, thats more than I get it and been married 25 years. hell your lucky

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