I Ruined My Life

[Stupid old me]

Now that I've reached my early 50's, I've had a real eye opener. Life has been pretty damned hard, and it's not been easy to make a go of it. But I've realized a few things, and they are REAL eye openers:
When I was a teenager, I thought I'd do the "right" thing. You know, get a good education and some college, then get a good paying job. I'd even wait to have kids. I'd find my Mr. Right and have a good life.
And I did just that.. For the next 34 years, I worked hard and paid my taxes. I've held a job, kept a house, been married once and thought I was doing OK. I mean, I had my own car, house, nice clothes and all, right? Didn't have a house full of kids to worry about feeding and educating....
Now I'm older. My body aches and I'm falling apart. I've worked myself right into the poor house. Mr. Right ended up being Mr. Screw Around on you behind your back while you're at work. And he did so with the sluts in this town. The ones who DIDN'T have to work. The ones who got paid to sit in their asses and draw check after check.
You see, I didn't have that house full of kids. I didn't get a check every month so I could sit on my ass and do nothing. I married a man, I didn't move one in while I cashed a government check on the first of every month. I didn't get $1200.00 a month in food stamps. I didn't get free health care and free dental. I didn't receive all the government benefits that I would have if I'd been a low life slut.
I've obviously ruined my life. I could have been so much better off if I'd have just let you all pay for everything I wanted. If I'd only had that house full of kids, so I could buy furniture, clothes, a cell phone and internet on your dime.
If I'd have laid around town spitting out children instead of trying to do the right thing (as they call it), I'd be in such good shape currently. I wouldn't have to worry about that lump I found in my breast right now because I don't have health insurance. I would have groceries in the kitchen. I'd have money to pay my electric bill this month. I'd have money to pay for the insurance on my 10 year old (paid off) car. I'd have my water bill caught up. My cable and internet wouldn't be the first things to get cut off here shortly. Hell, I'd have been able to check out the new Culver's by now, too. Sure would like to try some of that frozen custard..
See, I really messed up my life. I should have taken the other "fork in the road". The one to easy street that so many of our other young girls in this town are choosing. I now see that I would have been better off being a baby makin' machine. The pay is better and so are the benefits. I'm screwed and there are no "do overs". I've ruined my life.

[oh well]

i have children and a job and i dont get health insurance the only ones that get medical card are my children i only recieve a few foodstamps a month dont have satillite, cable, new furniture this internet service is at a family members house, i dont have a new car, or a big fancy home.
im not bitchin i have less than you do. so for your information having children is not a free ride with the goverment. oh and i dont draw welfare either. sounds like to me you didnt invest your money in anything and now you dont have a nest egg. yeah you ruined your life because your not happy with what you at least have. be grateful for what you do have you could be in my situation. sorry about the lump though but their is help out there for people 50 and over i think you just want to bitch instead of trying to help yourself. i advise you not to make a mockery of people that do draw at least they are smart enough to find the help they need.

[observer1]

You may think you have ruined your life, but there is 2 things your husband and all those girls he is trying to impress can not take from you.....PRIDE and RESPECT!
One thing to remember.. don't hold on to the material things.... your LIFE is more important.
Bless YOU!

[cry me a river]

i know what happened to you life hit you and now you dont like it.shit happens and you should take responsibilty to the fact that you didnt prepare for life because you thought of life as a walk in the park and expected a perfect life. well guess what shit happens and sooner or later so do life. your not the only one in that situation. what you need to do is start figuring out what you are gonna do for the rest of your life because honey it only gets harder. your a woman toughen up honey or you wont last. for that dog of a husband if you didnt have children with him then let the idiot go. quit being so damn clingy and let him go and carry on with your life instead of giving up so damn easy. P.E.R.M. can help you with your electric,rent, and water bill. the catholic church also helps with the electric bill. oh yeah suck it up go to the foodstamp office and get in line with the rest of us. im sure they could assit you with some stuff if not at least they could probaly tell you where to go to get the help you need.

[Jon]

It is called mid life crisis. Get over it.

[middle aged thinking]

Stupid old me wrote:

Now that I've reached my early 50's, I've had a real eye opener. Life has been pretty damned hard, and it's not been easy to make a go of it. But I've realized a few things, and they are REAL eye openers:
When I was a teenager, I thought I'd do the "right" thing. You know, get a good education and some college, then get a good paying job. I'd even wait to have kids. I'd find my Mr. Right and have a good life.
And I did just that.. For the next 34 years, I worked hard and paid my taxes. I've held a job, kept a house, been married once and thought I was doing OK. I mean, I had my own car, house, nice clothes and all, right? Didn't have a house full of kids to worry about feeding and educating....
Now I'm older. My body aches and I'm falling apart. I've worked myself right into the poor house. Mr. Right ended up being Mr. Screw Around on you behind your back while you're at work. And he did so with the sluts in this town. The ones who DIDN'T have to work. The ones who got paid to sit in their asses and draw check after check.
You see, I didn't have that house full of kids. I didn't get a check every month so I could sit on my ass and do nothing. I married a man, I didn't move one in while I cashed a government check on the first of every month. I didn't get $1200.00 a month in food stamps. I didn't get free health care and free dental. I didn't receive all the government benefits that I would have if I'd been a low life slut.
I've obviously ruined my life. I could have been so much better off if I'd have just let you all pay for everything I wanted. If I'd only had that house full of kids, so I could buy furniture, clothes, a cell phone and internet on your dime.
If I'd have laid around town spitting out children instead of trying to do the right thing (as they call it), I'd be in such good shape currently. I wouldn't have to worry about that lump I found in my breast right now because I don't have health insurance. I would have groceries in the kitchen. I'd have money to pay my electric bill this month. I'd have money to pay for the insurance on my 10 year old (paid off) car. I'd have my water bill caught up. My cable and internet wouldn't be the first things to get cut off here shortly. Hell, I'd have been able to check out the new Culver's by now, too. Sure would like to try some of that frozen custard..
See, I really messed up my life. I should have taken the other "fork in the road". The one to easy street that so many of our other young girls in this town are choosing. I now see that I would have been better off being a baby makin' machine. The pay is better and so are the benefits. I'm screwed and there are no "do overs". I've ruined my life.

You've lived your life and learned from it. It was meant for you to take this path.

The only thing I want to add is, your husband was a slut, it wasn't just the women.

Believe in yourself, move on, look forward instead of looking at the past so much. You sound intelligent, but you're just down on yourself right now. You can get back up.

[inspectorgadget]

I know you feel low right now my friend and I know exactly what you mean by the dead beat people drawing a check and food stamps. Those who are as able to work as we are. It upsets me alot when I go to get groceries and I get very little (what I can afford, that I worked for) and there is someone next to me with the F.S. card. They have 3 or 4 kids, their nails are done (mine are all broken from working)and wearing American Eagle clothes and driving a nice SUV. What's wrong woth this picture? Every year when I do my taxes I am lucky if I DON'T have to pay in, but IF I had a bunch of kids I could get EIC and buy a nice car, clothes or go on vacation.
I'm not complaining about working (because it makes me feel good to earn a living for myself)but it would be nice to catch a break every now and then. How about a little extra from Uncle Sam for just having a damn job and to hell with the LOW income people. Those people are POOR by choice and EXPECT help from the government and WE take pride in WHO we are SSSOOOOOOOOOO
HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH MY FRIEND! YOU ARE A GREAT PERSON AND THINGS DO GET EASIER IN TIME! POST MORE, BECAUSE SOMETIMES IF YOU JUST LET IT OUT IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER!
HERE'S MY SHOULDER, CRY ALL YOU WANT!

[inspectorgadget]

AND....you did do all the right things....don't listen to these azzholes.....I understand girl!

[Good Gawd]

oh well wrote:

i have children and a job and i dont get health insurance the only ones that get medical card are my children i only recieve a few foodstamps a month dont have satillite, cable, new furniture this internet service is at a family members house, i dont have a new car, or a big fancy home.
im not bitchin i have less than you do. so for your information having children is not a free ride with the goverment. oh and i dont draw welfare either. sounds like to me you didnt invest your money in anything and now you dont have a nest egg. yeah you ruined your life because your not happy with what you at least have. be grateful for what you do have you could be in my situation. sorry about the lump though but their is help out there for people 50 and over i think you just want to bitch instead of trying to help yourself. i advise you not to make a mockery of people that do draw at least they are smart enough to find the help they need.

If I had said this I'd have been run out on a rail.

And, by the way, I completely understand her situation.

She wasn't necessarily ragging on you or anyone else. Let her vent.

[well]

do those women on welfare that you speak of own their own home and a 10 yr old car, which isn't even old to a lot of people? I highly doubt it...they obviously don't have a good job like you do..you may think they are happy with their life and are on easy street, but I guarantee you they would give just about anything to be where you're at.

[Stupid old me]

Nice to see that a couple of people understood what I was saying. I AM still working. It's what I do. I don't qualify for food stamps as I'm barely out of range. And I mean barely. If I'd had a house full of kids that I couldn't raise on my OWN income, I'd be on easy street right now. That's what my point is. If I'd not taken the responsible route, I'd be living clear and easy.

I didn't just let that man go, I personally moved him out. He's gone and won't be back. That happened four years ago. I'm not one of the ones who just move them in and out and can't even own up to the man living there because it would cut their money if they did. I will also get medical care somehow. But it will be harder for me to acquire than those women who've spawned like fish. That was also my point.

The "ruined my life" scenario was my own personal jab at how society is tuned to take are of the users all around us. And I made my point. Some of you STILL stuck up for the ones who live off of us. Not the ones who have TRIED and worked hard for what they have. My possessions are just that, POSSESSIONS. But I bought and paid for them. The taxpayers didn't, YOU didn't. I DID. I budget very well, thank you. But you can't prepare for illness or a lay off from your job very well in today's society. Hard times hit those of us who work. The ones who rake in that check every month know it'll be in their mail box like clockwork, while we don't know if we'll still have a job to go to in another month. Let alone what shape we'll be in this same time next year.

I've made my point. And the responses I got didn't really surprise me very much. Thanks to all who understood. The rest, oh well.

[1 Hot Mamma]

I know how you fell honey. It's like my Mom always says you have the bad name of working. If your a hard worker most programs turn you away because you make to much money. But if you have drawn a check since you were little all the programs will bend over backwards for you.

[Jon]

Stupid old me wrote:

Nice to see that a couple of people understood what I was saying. I AM still working. It's what I do. I don't qualify for food stamps as I'm barely out of range. And I mean barely. If I'd had a house full of kids that I couldn't raise on my OWN income, I'd be on easy street right now. That's what my point is. If I'd not taken the responsible route, I'd be living clear and easy.

This paragraph bothers me. I understand the "barely out of range" comment cause that is where I am (I have one child). But the comment "I'd be on easy street right now." is just not correct. Because in order to qualify for food stamps, you have to have LOW income. So combining the food stamps and the little income you would have in order to qualify, would not put you on easy street. Not even close!!!

[BEEN THERE AND NOW THERE]

I know where she is coming from but I am fortunate I have VA plus my medicare That I WORKED and PAID in for many years. But HOLD your head HIGH you have the RESPECTt of the ones that have worked and paid our way thru this life.I am sorry about the lump but I will Pray that God will see you Thru.

[observer1]

Jon wrote:

<quoted text>
This paragraph bothers me. I understand the "barely out of range" comment cause that is where I am (I have one child). But the comment "I'd be on easy street right now." is just not correct. Because in order to qualify for food stamps, you have to have LOW income. So combining the food stamps and the little income you would have in order to qualify, would not put you on easy street. Not even close!!!

I was thinking on the same lines, even with food stamps, assistance with "rent", and a voucher with electric it does not compare as being easy when it comes to clothing, caring and raising the children. I am sure there is plenty of families that would want it a little better but make do with what they have because in all reality........most do love their children.
So when making remarks against the women of these children is like saying children are not worthy and those same children do love their mom's with or without assistance.
There is those that will use the system and most times those that are abusing the system are older and wiser adults then the young mother"s of America.

[KilRoy]

Can any of you say "satire"?

[RealityCheck1]

observer1 wrote:

<quoted text>
I was thinking on the same lines, even with food stamps, assistance with "rent", and a voucher with electric it does not compare as being easy when it comes to clothing, caring and raising the children. I am sure there is plenty of families that would want it a little better but make do with what they have because in all reality........most do love their children.
So when making remarks against the women of these children is like saying children are not worthy and those same children do love their mom's with or without assistance.
There is those that will use the system and most times those that are abusing the system are older and wiser adults then the young mother"s of America.

Good post OB1 I have to agree with you...

...RealityCheck...

[Thank you]

observer1 wrote:

<quoted text>
I was thinking on the same lines, even with food stamps, assistance with "rent", and a voucher with electric it does not compare as being easy when it comes to clothing, caring and raising the children. I am sure there is plenty of families that would want it a little better but make do with what they have because in all reality........most do love their children.
So when making remarks against the women of these children is like saying children are not worthy and those same children do love their mom's with or without assistance.
There is those that will use the system and most times those that are abusing the system are older and wiser adults then the young mother"s of America.

You know, I loved that post. It's so true and all these children deserve to be treated equal no matter if their mother receives assistance or not. It is still their mother and they think we raise the sun every morning just for them. There are some women out there that still have pride and would love to not have to rely on government assistance, I am one of those mothers. I have worked since I was 15 years old, graduated high school, went on to get my degree for Medical Assisting and cannot find a job. Thank you for your post, observer1, it made my day a little brighter!

[Hard road]

Hey, I know just how you feel, I've been down that road also.All those years of working--- being married to a cheater, and now that you are at the age in life that you should be enjoying and comfortable, you realize your no better off than when you started all those years ago.Now that your older,your alone,it takes every dime just to survive,your health is starting to fail you and it is SCAREY!You wonder"what am I going to do" if I get to where I can't work or if this lump is something more and I have to have treatment & can't work " HOW will my bills get paid?" I understand you compeletly!!! You must be TERRIFED!
Try to hang in there, do alot of praying and remember the good LORD is there with you. YOU are a Survivor and you WILL make it and see it thru.
GOD bless you in your journey ahead.

[AlienOverlord626]

Stupid old me wrote:

Now that I've reached my early 50's, I've had a real eye opener. Life has been pretty damned hard, and it's not been easy to make a go of it. But I've realized a few things, and they are REAL eye openers:
When I was a teenager, I thought I'd do the "right" thing. You know, get a good education and some college, then get a good paying job. I'd even wait to have kids. I'd find my Mr. Right and have a good life.
And I did just that.. For the next 34 years, I worked hard and paid my taxes. I've held a job, kept a house, been married once and thought I was doing OK. I mean, I had my own car, house, nice clothes and all, right? Didn't have a house full of kids to worry about feeding and educating....
Now I'm older. My body aches and I'm falling apart. I've worked myself right into the poor house. Mr. Right ended up being Mr. Screw Around on you behind your back while you're at work. And he did so with the sluts in this town. The ones who DIDN'T have to work. The ones who got paid to sit in their asses and draw check after check.
You see, I didn't have that house full of kids. I didn't get a check every month so I could sit on my ass and do nothing. I married a man, I didn't move one in while I cashed a government check on the first of every month. I didn't get $1200.00 a month in food stamps. I didn't get free health care and free dental. I didn't receive all the government benefits that I would have if I'd been a low life slut.
I've obviously ruined my life. I could have been so much better off if I'd have just let you all pay for everything I wanted. If I'd only had that house full of kids, so I could buy furniture, clothes, a cell phone and internet on your dime.
If I'd have laid around town spitting out children instead of trying to do the right thing (as they call it), I'd be in such good shape currently. I wouldn't have to worry about that lump I found in my breast right now because I don't have health insurance. I would have groceries in the kitchen. I'd have money to pay my electric bill this month. I'd have money to pay for the insurance on my 10 year old (paid off) car. I'd have my water bill caught up. My cable and internet wouldn't be the first things to get cut off here shortly. Hell, I'd have been able to check out the new Culver's by now, too. Sure would like to try some of that frozen custard..
See, I really messed up my life. I should have taken the other "fork in the road". The one to easy street that so many of our other young girls in this town are choosing. I now see that I would have been better off being a baby makin' machine. The pay is better and so are the benefits. I'm screwed and there are no "do overs". I've ruined my life.

I'm not usually on this, I was just 'surfing' but I too am 50 and let me tell you "You are a Saint!" You're not stupid. If I could have traded places with you I would have in a heartbeat. It's not about results it's about what type of person you are despite the results.(don't bother to reply I am going to keep 'surfing' but I had to stop and tell you that.