Why are kids so rude and disrespectful ?

Why are kids so rude and disrespectful ?

Posted in the Somerset Forum

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Sassy

London, KY

#1 Oct 15, 2008
Every day at work I see kids and teens. I am amazed at how rude and disrespectful so many of them are. Common sense tells me that this would fall on the parents for not teaching their kids to be kind and respectful. Being a parent myself, I cannot believe the way kids and teens talk to their parents, not to mention how rude they are to strangers. When I was a kid, of course there were always some kids who respected no one. But most parents then taught their children kindness, respect and morals. I don't think parents are being the parents they should be. What do you think?
Hugawolf

East Bernstadt, KY

#2 Oct 15, 2008
Sassy wrote:
Every day at work I see kids and teens. I am amazed at how rude and disrespectful so many of them are. Common sense tells me that this would fall on the parents for not teaching their kids to be kind and respectful. Being a parent myself, I cannot believe the way kids and teens talk to their parents, not to mention how rude they are to strangers. When I was a kid, of course there were always some kids who respected no one. But most parents then taught their children kindness, respect and morals. I don't think parents are being the parents they should be. What do you think?
You answered your own question, and I agree.
Cheeta

Ashburn, VA

#3 Oct 15, 2008
We have many more situations of Parent and not Parents today than we use to. So when the one parent works one or in many cases 2 jobs....they have limited time with their kids and dont want to spend that time as the heavy...thus there is much less discipline, and not necessarilly punishment (though that applies as well) but teaching of accountability, responsibility and consequences for ones actions. Unfortunately its a cycle whereby the child that wasn't taught these values by their parent(s) will in all liklihood not teach them to their own kids, etc. (Theres a lot that can be said for OLD SCHOOL-school prayer, 2 parents, sane spanking, etc.)
answer

Brownsville, TN

#4 Oct 15, 2008
poor parenting
born and raised

Lexington, KY

#5 Oct 15, 2008
Kids do go through a stage of slight rudeness in thier teens, I can look back and remember being rude to my parents a time or to, that will happen, but it shouldn't happen often. My kids are taught manners from birth, we always use manners even when they were babies, because that is one way they learn, not my 21 month old says please and thank you in the appropriate situations, she is also learning excuse me currently instead of move. My 11 year old son has always had good manners and still does. As parents we have to teach our kids how to act, but if we don't practice manners ourself then the kids won't use what they may have been taught.
observer

Finley, TN

#6 Oct 15, 2008
I have a son, 14 and in most times a good kid. I have had to take drastic measures to eliminate some of his freinds. I have had a few of his freinds come over, and being a single mother it is rough. But, listening to a few freinds talk about their mothers, call them sl*t, and thier dads habits and calling him BA****D. The kids talk is unreal. My son tried to act like they do and I just plainly told him, if he doesn't respect "HIMSELF" then another home would be better. No child is going to stand in my home and talk like trash about a parent. We went thru the typical "do what I want" and why can't I be like other parents and just let the kids stay out all night. I told him #1 Those kids have caused so many problems for their parents that the parents just rather they leave then to go thru issues with a child. I also tell him, DO NOT BRING YOUR FRIENDS PROBLEMS IN MY HOME! What I resorted to was every time a kid came to the house with that attitude on their shoulder. I would tell them, you can walk in and be welcome if you can pass a drug test. lol.They know I drug test my son, as a way for him to avoid peer pressure and not have issues later. In time he stood back and listen to them enough that he dropped them from his circle and thinking for himself!
I wish more parents would take a stand and not let their kids just be on the streets, maybe not causeing trouble, but get them into positive constructive activity. MY son wanted to run the streets with his freinds, I said ok, got some garbage bags and he had to pick up garbage along the roadways an hour a day, Sun-Sat. then he could go with freinds.He did this all summer! He had GREAT freinds that came over to do it with him, "others" just seem to not find their way to "OUR HOME". Parents STAND UP AND BE TOUGH! YOUR KIDS MAY WANT YOUR ATTENTION!
It is good when my son says, MOM why do you have to be a good parent and play by rules, I just SMILE!
Pam

London, KY

#7 Oct 15, 2008
It is not just kids that are rude and disrespectful, I have ran into many adults that are this same way. One instance in particular was being in line at the movie theater to buy my son's ticket and had some older gentleman cut in front on me. When I made the comment that I thought that was rude, he tried to inform me that he was there first. Ha! I was not really mad until he come off like a small child would. Kids learn from home as well as their peers, all we can do is bring it to their attention and help them understand why that is not acceptable behavior.
observer

Finley, TN

#8 Oct 15, 2008
I also took my son to the sherrif office,let him sit in the waiting area,and told him to think if he wanted to have a home, or we could find one better. I took him 2days to sit in the halls at family court, so he could see just how many families was waiting to see a judge. He seen a few kids that told him they wished they weren't there and those halls were full of families trying to seek help!

If there is parents trying to find answers and wanting to HELP thier teens. Hope I have given you some ideas of what to do, don't wait until
your child runs your life and ruins theirs.
Dang

Lexington, KY

#9 Oct 15, 2008
Several things come to play here: lack of strong parental figures..too much day care with the heavily liberal mind set that children can do no wrong, must be told constantly they are right and never stressed and the adults must be their "friends"

Next 40+ years of a socialist tinged education system that promotes "self-esteem" at the cost of civil decency and learning.

A general mindset of "want it now" and a 2 second attention span and no consequence for bad actions...we're all told that every one is "special" and everyone is good and can't we all get along.

Results: children who run wild, curse parents, rude social behavior, and an increase in psychotic behavior.
Brown Eyed Parrothead

Fort Huachuca, AZ

#10 Oct 15, 2008
Keeping your kids involved in Church will help with alot of this. Teaching good behavior and not accepting bad is another good way. Children usually act the way they see others acting.
Chelsea

Finley, TN

#11 Oct 15, 2008
I am a 20 year old single mother of a 2 year old son. I was the typical teenager, gave my parents heck. Thought my dad was the worst because he wouldnt let me stay out all night like my friends were doing. I swore to myself that when I became a mother, I would be the cool mother. My son is only 2 and I can already tell I am going to be just as strict, if not MORE strict than my parents. Knowing what I have done in my teen years (and I was a good kid compared to my friends) I dont want to let my son out of the house! My sister is now 17 but she would come home when she was 12 and tell me about the kids in her grade doing drugs, and it is so scary to think about our kids in school this day and time. My dad was doing the best he could to protect me, and now I see that. I just wish I had realized it then and hadnt gave him so much greif about his parenting.
been there 2

Lexington, KY

#12 Oct 15, 2008
Chelsea wrote:
I am a 20 year old single mother of a 2 year old son. I was the typical teenager, gave my parents heck. Thought my dad was the worst because he wouldnt let me stay out all night like my friends were doing. I swore to myself that when I became a mother, I would be the cool mother. My son is only 2 and I can already tell I am going to be just as strict, if not MORE strict than my parents. Knowing what I have done in my teen years (and I was a good kid compared to my friends) I dont want to let my son out of the house! My sister is now 17 but she would come home when she was 12 and tell me about the kids in her grade doing drugs, and it is so scary to think about our kids in school this day and time. My dad was doing the best he could to protect me, and now I see that. I just wish I had realized it then and hadnt gave him so much greif about his parenting.
I understand, just tell your dad now how your sorry for the way you acted back them and how you know know he was trying to protect you, better late then never.
Chelsea

Finley, TN

#13 Oct 15, 2008
oh yeah i have told him so many times since i have had a child. everything changes so much when you have a child.
agreed

London, KY

#14 Oct 15, 2008
"Several things come to play here: lack of strong parental figures..too much day care with the heavily liberal mind set that children can do no wrong, must be told constantly they are right and never stressed and the adults must be their "friends"

So true!!!!

“Life is what you make it!”

Since: Jul 08

Anywhere, USA

#15 Oct 15, 2008
I work with kids, young kids even, and it's really hard to hold their attitudes against them because when you take the time to truly get to know them, you find out that if they are rude, it's because that's the way they are used to being talked to at home. If they have an attitude, it's usually because they have problems at home. I know this isn't true with all kids...but the majority...the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. A little love and mentoring goes a long way with some of these kids, can even change 'em...I've seen it. They grow up in an atmosphere where they have to be 'tough' or else they'd just curl into a ball and believe the sh*t their stupid parents tell them they are. It's truly sad, and you wouldn't believe it, but there are hundreds of kids here in our county, some you think in respectable homes, that don't ever get a hot meal except the one they get during school, and whose parents don't give a crap about them. I know...I help feed these kids in the summer...I help find clothes for these kids when the schools call me. I'm no saint by far...I was just fortunate to have 2 wonderful parents and it breaks my heart to see kids have to put up with crap in the one place they are suppose to feel the safest- home.
Sassy

London, KY

#16 Oct 15, 2008
Lucky Slevin wrote:
I work with kids, young kids even, and it's really hard to hold their attitudes against them because when you take the time to truly get to know them, you find out that if they are rude, it's because that's the way they are used to being talked to at home. If they have an attitude, it's usually because they have problems at home. I know this isn't true with all kids...but the majority...the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. A little love and mentoring goes a long way with some of these kids, can even change 'em...I've seen it. They grow up in an atmosphere where they have to be 'tough' or else they'd just curl into a ball and believe the sh*t their stupid parents tell them they are. It's truly sad, and you wouldn't believe it, but there are hundreds of kids here in our county, some you think in respectable homes, that don't ever get a hot meal except the one they get during school, and whose parents don't give a crap about them. I know...I help feed these kids in the summer...I help find clothes for these kids when the schools call me. I'm no saint by far...I was just fortunate to have 2 wonderful parents and it breaks my heart to see kids have to put up with crap in the one place they are suppose to feel the safest- home.
Exactly. That's what gets me. I've always felt that when I decided to become a parent, I was accepting the responsibility that goes with it. I am responsible for their well being, their safety, knowing where they are at all times, teaching them respect, kindness and morals, taking them to church. I see and hear so many parents talk to their children, and it's obvious that they were either never taught anything by their parents, or just chose to go against everything they were taught, and teach their children nothing. I get really tired of hearing parents say, "Well, we have to let them live their lives and be who they are." Sorry, I don't agree. We as parents are responsible for making them who they are by how we teach and raise them. Children can not be allowed to do and go whatever and wherever they like and be expected to make the right decisions. That's what parents are for.
So true

London, KY

#17 Oct 15, 2008
Sassy wrote:
<quoted text>
Exactly. That's what gets me. I've always felt that when I decided to become a parent, I was accepting the responsibility that goes with it. I am responsible for their well being, their safety, knowing where they are at all times, teaching them respect, kindness and morals, taking them to church. I see and hear so many parents talk to their children, and it's obvious that they were either never taught anything by their parents, or just chose to go against everything they were taught, and teach their children nothing. I get really tired of hearing parents say, "Well, we have to let them live their lives and be who they are." Sorry, I don't agree. We as parents are responsible for making them who they are by how we teach and raise them. Children can not be allowed to do and go whatever and wherever they like and be expected to make the right decisions. That's what parents are for.
This is so true but so many parents will let their child "make their own decisions" to not have to work at being a REAL parent.Children don't raise their selves!
Momma

Hazard, KY

#18 Oct 15, 2008
I wrote this some time back and hate stepping on toes, but it was the truth then and still is today:
The thing I hate the most is when people think their kids are saintly, and take everything you say the wrong way. Now I know that my child is not an angel, and does things he should not. For instance, recently we have been having some issues with some children, coming up on our porch, removing our son,s toys from on the porch and leaving them where the want. We have asked the children several times to stop, but they still continue. To me, if my child was doing something like that, I would expect someone to get on to him, or ask him to stop. I was brought up that it was rude to go on other people's porches when they were not outside, look in their windows and doors and take their property off the porch even if it is a toy. You were to respect other people's property and space. That was called good manners and respecting other people. Now days, they do not teach children this. Instead, they run free, do whatever they want with whomever and have no parental supervision or respect for authority. When saying something to the child nicely does not work, then you need to take it to the parents. Now today, my husband had just come in from work, was getting out of the vehicle trying to come in the house, when he was pounced on by the neighbor in regards to asking her kids to leave our stuff alone. She had just asked me last night about it, and said nothing about having a problem, just walked of pouting. Now I know my child plays with their toys, but only if they are outside playing together. If they are not outside playing, he does not touch their toys, unless he goes around picking up various things from others yards and returning it to their home. Lately, the children have been alone, riding in the rode, crashing into trash cans, knocking over trash and running into my vehicle without a word from their parents. Also, we keep to ourselves lately, because we do not want our child doing what they do and have other things to do, but that is seen as being stuck up and snobbish. I didn't know keeping to your own, and staying in cause you had other things to do was snobbish. Some people do not sit on their porch constantly gossiping, they have children to care for, and a house to run. It should not mater if you are a single parent, two parent household, or a familly with a step parent, a child should be taught to respect others and others property, and their is no excuse for not teaching these important life lessons. Some people might see otherwise, but that is my opinion, and everyone is entitled to one.
Momma

Hazard, KY

#19 Oct 15, 2008
answer wrote:
poor parenting
It isn't just the poor parenting, it is the fear that you won't be the "cool" parents or that your child might not like you. Thing is, they thank you later for it. My mom always told me I would understand why she did the things she did when I had kids, and that is the truth. It isn't that hard to teach respect of others, you have to show respect of others so they see it, if you the parent can't have respect, you can't expect you child to.
Momma

Hazard, KY

#20 Oct 15, 2008
Sassy wrote:
<quoted text>
Exactly. That's what gets me. I've always felt that when I decided to become a parent, I was accepting the responsibility that goes with it. I am responsible for their well being, their safety, knowing where they are at all times, teaching them respect, kindness and morals, taking them to church. I see and hear so many parents talk to their children, and it's obvious that they were either never taught anything by their parents, or just chose to go against everything they were taught, and teach their children nothing. I get really tired of hearing parents say, "Well, we have to let them live their lives and be who they are." Sorry, I don't agree. We as parents are responsible for making them who they are by how we teach and raise them. Children can not be allowed to do and go whatever and wherever they like and be expected to make the right decisions. That's what parents are for.
I know I have a 4 year old that doesn't get his way all the time. It is embarassing in public, cause instead of being able to yank a knot in their tales, you have people watching and know that if you raise your voice, or smack their butts that someone will report you for abuse. The child just gets louder and makes a scene. At that point it takes all I have to be cool and calm, I really want to just ring his neck. So many parents just give in with that pressure, but he is finally figuring out that NO means NO.

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