Spanking

[Concerned]

Question: Would you be upset if your mother spanked your child? 5 Years old, three swats to the rear end, and afterwards she sits down and talks to the child.

[tbo]

Concerned wrote:

Question: Would you be upset if your mother spanked your child? 5 Years old, three swats to the rear end, and afterwards she sits down and talks to the child.

No.

[ABC]

My mother in law doesn't disipline my kids at all. When we let them stay with her they come back acting like monsters. Spanking works.

[observer1]

Concerned wrote:

Question: Would you be upset if your mother spanked your child? 5 Years old, three swats to the rear end, and afterwards she sits down and talks to the child.

Most of the time a child will respect a grandparent who takes the time to correct them. And as you said, she sit down and talked to the child, which is important in letting them know that grandparents love them even when they do need discipline.

I have grandkids ages 3,6,7 and 9. I keep them a few weeks at a time during the year and it is hard to keep everyone on the same page to say the least. When the kids were here over the summer, they were "wild" in a good way. One day no one could make up thier little minds what to do next besides see if I had nerves of steel. My solution to the issue, I handed each of them a rag and told them to find every corner in the house and clean out the cob webs. I sat and read a magazine and those kids laughed and cleaned like they were doing me a big favor of cleaning my corners. lol

[Concerned]

The grandkids do get away with more than their parents did when they were kids. However, I do have my limits and the kids have their own personalities. One grandkid, I can just talk to and have no problems with behavior. The one that was spanked refuses to mind and they both have the same parents. I just wish I didn't have to spank the one. The parents don't spank, even when the "wild" child kicks the parent or does something of that nature. So, I figure they are not happy that I spanked. They haven't said anything and neither have I, but I could feel tension in the air the last time I saw them.

[I spank]

I think all the time out crap of this generation is...well.....crap. There is a difference between spanking a child and beating a child. I don't believe in leaving marks or bruises, but a corrective spank is a good thing. My grandchildren are also wild, as in calling parents names and arguing, not obeying.....and they get time out. LOL. Not at grandma's house. I told the youngest to stop running and jumping on our rocker/recliner (placed in front of a large window). She kept doing it until I firmly told her if she did it one more time she would be spanked. She waited a few minutes then did it again. MY husband swiftly told her to go sit on the couch, but I said no way, I told her I'd spank and I have to follow through. AFter that, anytime she started acting up, even with her parents there, all I had to do was whisper in her ear "grandma spanks". Little angel straightened right up.

The way I see it, how can I safely take care of my grandchildren if I have no control them? I only had to spank once. It goes far.

[Concerned]

I spank wrote:

I think all the time out crap of this generation is...well.....crap. There is a difference between spanking a child and beating a child. I don't believe in leaving marks or bruises, but a corrective spank is a good thing. My grandchildren are also wild, as in calling parents names and arguing, not obeying.....and they get time out. LOL. Not at grandma's house. I told the youngest to stop running and jumping on our rocker/recliner (placed in front of a large window). She kept doing it until I firmly told her if she did it one more time she would be spanked. She waited a few minutes then did it again. MY husband swiftly told her to go sit on the couch, but I said no way, I told her I'd spank and I have to follow through. AFter that, anytime she started acting up, even with her parents there, all I had to do was whisper in her ear "grandma spanks". Little angel straightened right up.
The way I see it, how can I safely take care of my grandchildren if I have no control them? I only had to spank once. It goes far.

That sounds exactly what goes on here. I am relieved to know that I am not alone. I had started feeling bad about it, but you all have helped.

[rita]

I think any relative that loves your child,should be permitted to spank if left in their care.Time out may work for some children,but truthfully i have never saw it.I will soon be a grand mother and i know i will do anything to keep her safe.If that means a spanking then she will get one.I am not talking about if she has accidents and knocks things over,but if she is intentionally doing something will hurt her,then she will get spanked.I WOULD never use a belt or anything that could hurt a child,but a little keen switch on the legs{AND LEGS ONLY}CAN get your point across.I will most likely be critized for saying this,but it is my thought on the subject.

[O_yea]

Unless you want a rotten little brat, bust that butt. Spare the rod, spoil the child!

[ABC]

The way I see is just ask if you have my permission.. Like seriously if I trust you enough to watch my kids then obviously don't care if you correct my child( just make sure you let me know) the way I see it.. With as much as I would love to have an eye on my child all day everyday I can't so if I don't see something I give permission, if my kids are doing something unsafe?? Please correct them. I won't let my sister in law punish my children only because she doesn't do it to teach them, she's just freakin mean but also I would never trust her enough to leave my children with her.

[Concerned]

ABC wrote:

The way I see is just ask if you have my permission.. Like seriously if I trust you enough to watch my kids then obviously don't care if you correct my child( just make sure you let me know) the way I see it.. With as much as I would love to have an eye on my child all day everyday I can't so if I don't see something I give permission, if my kids are doing something unsafe?? Please correct them. I won't let my sister in law punish my children only because she doesn't do it to teach them, she's just freakin mean but also I would never trust her enough to leave my children with her.

So you want me to call you on the phone, tell you the situation, then ask your permission to correct them?

[Concerned]

ABC; question for you, if I have told the grandchild over and over to stop running in the house and he pays no attention to what I have told him (time out didn't work), continuing to do what I have told him not to do, I will spank him. That got his attention and he quit doing it. The question is: are you going to be upset about it?

[ABC]

The permission is pre-detirmined so you would already know that it is ok. You don't have to call and check in. When I drop my kids off at their grandparents, they know what to do if the kids misbehave.

[rannimg]

to many parents and grandparents dont spank there kids when needed if they trust you to watch them then they should trust you to spank them in the right way its your house and your rules if they cant except that they shouldnt bring them

[TopMomma]

Listen I do believe in spanking. I have 3 grandchildren and they are very good. Very seldon have I ever had to spank them. But I was in TN this weekend at the Reebok store when a girl about 7-8 years old was having the biggest fit in the world. The lady working at the store could not wait on other customers because of this BRAT. She was laying in the floor and screaming. I hope someday her mother gets a clue so that other people are not tormented by the brat. She better be praying she is not mine.

Concerned wrote:

<quoted text>
That sounds exactly what goes on here. I am relieved to know that I am not alone. I had started feeling bad about it, but you all have helped.

[wake up]

Concerned wrote:

Question: Would you be upset if your mother spanked your child? 5 Years old, three swats to the rear end, and afterwards she sits down and talks to the child.

wake up no she did the right thing!!!!!!!!!!

[Phoenix Rising_76]

If my mother didn't correct my child, I'd be shocked! A child needs discipline. A few swats on the rear is nothing compared to what I received as a child. A switching with a switch I had to pick myself!

[Stephanie]

I have a child that no spanking or time outs can help. He is hot-headed like his father. I take his things away, no tv or video games. He has a mouth on him. Now he gets some hot sauce when he gets lippy or curses. We are going to a behavioral specialist soon. I hope they can help. It's disrupting my home and younger child. Sometimes its like he is begging for a spanking, and all it does is get him more riled up!

[Aight]

PR76....same here...go break your own switch.....To the parent who said little keen switch to the legs......my great granny always used that one. Carful using switches......you can take a switch to one's legs or butt and not hard and the end result may look like you wore them out with open cuts etc... As for running in the house....hmmmm I do not know your situation but kids are active. Many parents think they should move like robots and that does psychological damage to the child which they must work throug later on. Kids are Kids....there is a difference in being active and being mean. Some parents over do punishment and that creates major anger issues in children and non trust issues. Raising babies is different than raising elementary age kids which is different than raising middle school age kids and that is even more different than raising highschool age kids....then you are left to raise adults. Kids are yours for life...one way or another. Lots of structure....Love...attention. ...and a bit of correction where needed is basically what it takes. Good Luck to you all. Oh yeah....to address what this thread was about...I agree one should only leave their child with someone they trust to do what is right for that child. I would prefer to know how one will punish my child before I left them. That goes for family also.....so history tells me how they would and that is how I make my decisions. I never leave them unless it is my mother at my home taking care of them. LOL...Good Luck Again.

[This is it]

I think spanking has a place in child rearing. When done correctly. I think most people on here know what I mean by doing it correctly. I think a parent should incorporate all in raising a child, from warnings, to time outs, to spankings. All depending on the offense. When my children were babies and were just starting to become mobile, they would get a little tap on the hand and a stern "NO" when they started to bother something that they shouldn't. Then they would be redirected to something they could play with. This is how we do things even now. My kids are pretty well behaved. Not perfect, lol, I don't know anyones kids who are though.

I would expect any member of my family whom I trusted to watch my kids to incorporate this as well. Other members of my family are the same way if I watch their kids.

Concerned, you should sit down with your grandkids parents and talk to them about this. You really all should be on the same page about it. I wish you the best of luck.