My husband said to me today....

My husband said to me today....

Posted in the Somerset Forum

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Lost and Confused

Somerset, KY

#1 Nov 10, 2012
Some pretty harsh stuff, I dont think I can/ or want to move past it!

“We Are Family”

Level 8

Since: Aug 12

Here, There and Everywhere!

#2 Nov 10, 2012
Do you have a pastor or neutral person to speak with?
Time span invested in relationship?
Children?
Employed?Joint checking/Savings/stocks/bonds/
Mortgage, Vehicles?
Health issues
Lost and Confused

Somerset, KY

#3 Nov 10, 2012
Pastor, Neutrsl friend-No. To ALL of our unsespecting friends, Faimly, Kids, outside world...We are perfect! ;-(
Time Span-23 yrs
Children-Two Beautiful sons!
Employed-Yes,(Not enough monthly income to stand alone for me, I dont think)
Joint Nothing-Financial
Mortgage-Its His-Not mine.
Vehicle-I have my own, named soley owner-He has his
Health Issues-No!

*Would be a clean walk away except for the kids...He could have it ALL!! I'm soooo tired!
just me

Somerset, KY

#4 Nov 10, 2012
just find you a man to give you the love and respect you need, and don't give the jerk the time of day
wt-hell

Cincinnati, OH

#5 Nov 10, 2012
grow up!!! don't LOOK for a GROWN MAN!!! THEY WILL FIND YOU!!!
Lost and Confused

Somerset, KY

#6 Nov 10, 2012
wt-hell wrote:
grow up!!! don't LOOK for a GROWN MAN!!! THEY WILL FIND YOU!!!
??What?? I hve to wonder, are you following the conversation at all? No matter to me, though.:-/
pore ole rodney king

Jamestown, KY

#7 Nov 10, 2012
just me wrote:
just find you a man to give you the love and respect you need, and don't give the jerk the time of day
Hey, you are one mighty knowledgeable marriage counsellor. Let me guess, you have a BA, MA, and PHD, right. Such a conciliatory tone you have displayed here--grab onto the first shackup opportunity, right?
Lost and Confused

Somerset, KY

#8 Nov 10, 2012
pore ole rodney king wrote:
<quoted text>
Hey, you are one mighty knowledgeable marriage counsellor. Let me guess, you have a BA, MA, and PHD, right. Such a conciliatory tone you have displayed here--grab onto the first shackup opportunity, right?
I agree,(P-O-R-K) I do some times think it has to be children (possibly teenagers) that make such immature remarks.
pore ole rodney king

Jamestown, KY

#9 Nov 10, 2012
Lost and Confused wrote:
Pastor, Neutrsl friend-No. To ALL of our unsespecting friends, Faimly, Kids, outside world...We are perfect! ;-(
Time Span-23 yrs
Children-Two Beautiful sons!
Employed-Yes,(Not enough monthly income to stand alone for me, I dont think)
Joint Nothing-Financial
Mortgage-Its His-Not mine.
Vehicle-I have my own, named soley owner-He has his
Health Issues-No!
*Would be a clean walk away except for the kids...He could have it ALL!! I'm soooo tired!
Don't make matters worse by listening to a sweet talking man who tells you everything you long to hear. He'll use you, then throw you onto the trash heap when he's got what he wants. And there are plenty out there who will do just that sort of thing. 23 years is a lot of investment and your children will suffer a great deal of hurt if you just walk away and break the bond.

Find yourself an elderly woman who has been married 60 years or more for counsel. Make sure she is a godly woman--she can tell you how to live with a lot of underappreciation for she has had to deal with such herself at some time. Do not--I repeat--do not seek the advice of a man, but of an elderly woman who has managed to keep her house together because no one has a perfect and always lovely marriage, in spite of claims to the contrary.
boomerang

Cumming, GA

#10 Nov 10, 2012
Lost and Confused wrote:
Some pretty harsh stuff, I dont think I can/ or want to move past it!
sounds like he's already moved past you. when a man says harsh words (that are probably the truth), it really means he doesn't want you anymore. sorry to burst your bubble, but it's probably time for you to work on yourself rather than blame a man for all of your problems.
ZGS

Oakland, CA

#11 Nov 11, 2012
Lost and Confused wrote:
Pastor, Neutrsl friend-No. To ALL of our unsespecting friends, Faimly, Kids, outside world...We are perfect! ;-(
Time Span-23 yrs
Children-Two Beautiful sons!
Employed-Yes,(Not enough monthly income to stand alone for me, I dont think)
Joint Nothing-Financial
Mortgage-Its His-Not mine.
Vehicle-I have my own, named soley owner-He has his
Health Issues-No!
*Would be a clean walk away except for the kids...He could have it ALL!! I'm soooo tired!
Joint nothing,Morgage,vehicle,income .... I really don't believe you feel this way. I believe you said you have been with the Mr. for 23 years. Married or not, If you all have been paying all these bills during this time period regardless of what he says it's 50/50. I would say you need to talk to a counselor, but I really believe what you need is a ball breaking lawyer. Yes, this is sad, but someone that has spent their life, for twenty three years, with someone trying to make ends meet doesn't deserve to be treated like a nobody. He has learned that he comes first and you don't matter. Thats why people marry and start a family is that they share it all. All the good times as well as the bad. Okay I'm venting. I get treated the same way in reverse. She is going to take the kids, auction the house, child support, alimony, yes, believe it or not 20 years plus. So, how it the weather going to be for today.

“We Are Family”

Level 8

Since: Aug 12

Here, There and Everywhere!

#12 Nov 11, 2012
I would seek legal advise, for peace of mind.

You may find that you are vested in your marriage.

You may find that there is an equalization of income during the legal separation period.

You may find that the person who files for a Legal Seperation/Divorce is;

Petitioner(asking for any and all things) and,

Responder(Having to figure out how to pay),
is second to answer, in a court of law.

This protects you, your children, property and any and all assets, known and unknown, when filing.

Your choice, not ours.
You will not be the only person this has happened to.
GOD bless, and welcome to a not so perfect world.
Non Smoker

Esperance, NY

#13 Nov 11, 2012
Could it be that he's sick and in pain and needs to go to a doctor? Or is this a longstanding problem?
UK Fan

Indianapolis, IN

#14 Nov 11, 2012
Pray!
Lost and Confused

Somerset, KY

#15 Nov 11, 2012
UK Fan wrote:
Pray!
Been praying for 23 yrs!! Trust me.:-/

Thanxs All.

Cool Hand Clem

“One day at a time”

Level 6

Since: Oct 12

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#16 Nov 11, 2012
Good luck...
ZGS

Oakland, CA

#17 Nov 11, 2012
Lost and Confused wrote:
<quoted text> Been praying for 23 yrs!! Trust me.:-/
Thanxs All.
So, you are numb and just used to functioning daily. I know you wonder inside your head why, and how could this be reality. I guess your fond of all your friends and the comfort of just going with the flow. You probably don't want to deal with all the drama of what could happen if you split the scene. Well, I don't know, I just want to focus on getting the kids through school and see whats follows. I hope your pain fades away and life finds you joyfully. Take care....
Hop-A-Long

Middlesboro, KY

#18 Nov 12, 2012
With 23 years invested I believe I would slow down and take my time. You need to remember, when you break it off, it's broke. You can't un-ring a bell. Time is all you have, so slow down to make your decision ( their is alot at stake). Words cut like a knife, and when the heart gets cut it, it takes a long time to heal. Maybe you need to leave, maybe you need to stay, and maybe you just need some time off to think, I don,t know, but I do know that once upon a time you loved him and he loved you and many things strain a relationship....strain no break. So take your time, heart hurt is the worst hurt, but it will still hurt if you bail. I'm just an old man that has been there , and my heart hurts for you. God bless you.

Cool Hand Clem

“One day at a time”

Level 6

Since: Oct 12

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#19 Nov 12, 2012
Sounds like hubby needs a boot up his azz!
Non Smoker

Esperance, NY

#20 Nov 13, 2012
Lost and Confused wrote:
<quoted text> Been praying for 23 yrs!! Trust me.:-/
Thanxs All.
If it's been your entire marriage, then he's not going to change. He has 23 years of you putting up with whatever he's doing. How long did you date before marrying?

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